p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Chapter 7/span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Whispers filled the cold, still air. Some were familiar and gentle; others were cruel and bitter. There was one voice that stood out from all of the others. It was fragile and warm and repeated the same words as a sort of mantra, like the person that it belonged to was sending a quiet prayer into the Cosmic Force. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Be with me. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Ben Solo startled back to consciousness. Every nerve in his body was aflame and even the involuntary act of breathing ignited the pain, sending it sprawling out through his limbs. His dark eyes had flung open and he surveyed his surroundings only to realize that he had no surroundings./span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Be with me, the voice rang out clearly now. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Struggling through the pain he rose to his feet, his leg faltering as he tried to extend himself to his full height. Ben quieted his mind and drew energy from the Force to help steady himself. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Be with me, Ben, she sobbed. Please./span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""I'm here!" he panted, following the sound of Rey's voice into the dark. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Her voice was warm but sad; hopeful and brokenhearted. He couldn't let her be alone. He had promised her that he would always be with her, that he would come back for her. He limped towards the sound of her voice, but the next time it rang out, he felt that it was coming from another direction. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Rey!" He called into the ether. "I'm here. You're not alone. I'm with you." /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Ben searched around frantically for any sign of her. Rey's voice was so clear, so close... but he was alone. His feet fell on an inky black floor that might not have been a floor at all. He shivered against the cold and the dark and tears began to sting his eyes. Ben dropped back to a seated position, allowing himself to rest his injured body. It was then that he questioned whether his body was truly injured or if he was... /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"He had drawn a shuddering breath, the air not reaching all the way into his lungs. His eyes had crinkled, pushed up by a smile that hadn't graced his face in years. She had kissed him. He had tried to kill her, violated her mind, threatened everything that she fought for... and she had kissed him. There had been a small chuckle; her lips pressed to his had been the last thing that he was expecting. Then there had been darkness. Coldness crept into his soul, her hands on his the only warmth left in a body that was quickly fading. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Ben," another voice called softly from the darkness. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"His head whipped around, soft black strands of hair shifting around his face as he moved. He wasn't hearing things this time - a woman stood before him and he recognized her instantly. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Mom," he gasped. Ben rose once more and dragged his body to hers as quickly as his legs would allow./span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"He threw his arms around the miniscule figure of Leia Organa and he pulled her close to his enormous chest. He hadn't been this tall the last time that they had hugged. He was taller now than his father had been. Ben tried to speak but his lips moved silently, an apology, a plea for forgiveness lodged in his throat as if the Force itself were choking him. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""I know, Ben," she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I know."/span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Leia returned her son's embrace and the two stood sobbing for what felt like an eternity before she brought him to arm's length and stroked his long cheek with her small hand. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""My Ben," Leia uttered, a smile breaking across her face. "You came back to us."/span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Her face was kinder than it should have been after all he had done in the years since they'd parted. Ben wondered then if she knew that it was not him who had pulled the trigger to fire on the Raddus over D'Qar. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Thank you," he breathed. "For reaching me. You didn't give up."/span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"She smiled. "I failed you, Ben. We all did. Leaving a path for you to follow back to the light was the least that any of us could do. I'm glad you found it."/span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Ben nodded and clasped Leia's hands in his. He looked into her eyes, his own solemn and searching. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Mom, how do I get to her?" he asked. "I promised I wouldn't leave her. I've broken too many promises."/span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Leia turned away. "I don't know, Ben. We don't know what it meant to find you here and not in the Force."/span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""We? He said, interrupting his mother./span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Luke and I," she told him./span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Ben nodded solemnly. He understood that there was nowhere in the galaxy far enough for him to run to avoid Luke Skywalker. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Ben, I know now what happened that night. I understand," she began. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""You don't know what happened afterwards. I chased the darkness that was calling to me. It was the only place I felt like I belonged. You and Dad pushed me away, Luke tried to kill me. I was so alone." he confided, his shoulders shaking. "I held on for a little bit. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I just didn't want to be Ben Solo anymore. I didn't realize that I couldn't become someone else without hurting everyone. And then Dad,"/span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"His throat closed again and it felt like all of those times that Snoke had punished him for the light that had always been hidden away in his heart; all the times that he had tried to snuff it out from Ben's soul once and for all. He had crumpled to the floor at his master's feet more times than he could count, gasping for air, writhing in pain as lightning coursed through his veins. He wondered if anyone in the galaxy would ever believe that the monster that was Kylo Ren had been forged by the constant torment and pain that he had suffered. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""I forgive you, Ben," Leia whispered as she pulled her son into a tight embrace. "You can forgive yourself, too, when you're ready."/span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"He shook his head in her shoulder as he cried. "I can't, Mom." /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""We both know that he wouldn't have had it happen any other way." she told him, cupping his face in her hands. "Your father and I knew what it would take to reach you and we were willing to do whatever it took." /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Ben nodded again, tears streaming down his face. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Rey forgave you," Leia said softly. "Didn't she?"/span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"He smiled and it was his father's crooked grin that spread across his face. "I don't know why or how, but yeah."/span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Ben, do you know what this place is?" Leia asked. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"He gazed around, his eyes still adjusting to the pitch black of the air around him. "It's nowhere. It's everywhere." He took a deep breath, eyes wide in search of light. He saw it in slight traces of white, almost like stars dotting the ether. "This is the World Between Worlds, isn't it?" /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"She nodded. "Luke and I have both passed on to become a part of the Cosmic Force, but it seems that you are hovering between it and the Living. I don't know if that means you have a choice bu you found your way back to the light, Ben, with only breadcrumbs to follow. Rey is out there waiting for you. I think that one way or another, be it in the Living or the Cosmic Force, you'll be able to find your way to her. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Luke. Can he help me?" Ben asked suddenly. "I know he has no reason to, but if he knows more about this, if he can teach me... I'll do whatever I have to do to find her, Mom. She's been alone for so long."/span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Leia smiled sadly. "I'd like to think that after she found us she wasn't quite so alone." /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"He clasped her hands in his. "I think she very nearly joined me; you were what kept her in the light."/span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"At that moment Ben's attention was drawn away from his mother to a voice that he hadn't heard in many years. It was Tai. His sparring partner, his first friend. His confidante. The first innocent life that he had taken. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Ben dropped his mother's hands and walked towards the sound of Tai's voice. Light traced it's way around him, illuminating this path as if it were guiding him. A circle of light appeared before him and beyond it Ben saw himself, no more than 13 years old. He and Tai were sparring with wooden swords. Luke told them that before they could build their own lightsabers they must master the fighting forms with non-lethal weapons. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"He watched as the two boys from his past ducked, parried, and countered each other's blows while Luke Skywalker looked on proudly. Tai's voice egged him on and their fighting intensified. The boys had been learning each other's weaknesses to better disarm their opponents in battle. Ben's was being taunted while he fought and feeling inferior; Tai's weakness was not being able to counter a fully enraged Ben. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Young Ben snarled and threw his full weight into a lunge and Tai was unable to parry. The teen flew backwards and landed in a pile of cushions, his wooden saber clattering to the ground. Ben jogged over to his friend to ensure that he was okay and helped him back to his feet. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""I'll get you next time, Solo," Tai chuckled, clapping his friend on the back. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"The image drifted into another. Ben was older. He wore all black and his saber was clipped to a holster over his shoulder. It did not yet bear the cross guard design and his blue Kyber crystal was still intact within the hilt. He watched as he tore into someone's mind for the first time, digging until he found what he was looking for. His anger flared when the being was killed seconds later by one of the Knights of Ren - it was his first glimpse at how cruel he himself would become. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Tai appeared, flanked by two others. The young men engaged in a duel, their blue sabers clashing violently, neither one hoping to win the battle. When the opportunity arose, Ben could not and would not murder his friend. He would get a chance to undo the mistakes of the past several weeks, after all. And then with no warning, Tai was run through with a saber possessed by Ren. Ben's future faded into black. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""I think this place is trying to tell me something," Ben told Leia. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"She didn't respond. He whirled around to find that she was gone. Ben Solo was once again alone in the dark./span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Whispers filled the cold, still air. Some were familiar and gentle; others were cruel and bitter. There was one voice that stood out from all of the others. It was fragile and warm and repeated the same words as a sort of mantra, like the person that it belonged to was sending a quiet prayer into the Cosmic Force. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Be with me. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Ben Solo startled back to consciousness. Every nerve in his body was aflame and even the involuntary act of breathing ignited the pain, sending it sprawling out through his limbs. His dark eyes had flung open and he surveyed his surroundings only to realize that he had no surroundings./span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Be with me, the voice rang out clearly now. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Struggling through the pain he rose to his feet, his leg faltering as he tried to extend himself to his full height. Ben quieted his mind and drew energy from the Force to help steady himself. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Be with me, Ben, she sobbed. Please./span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""I'm here!" he panted, following the sound of Rey's voice into the dark. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Her voice was warm but sad; hopeful and brokenhearted. He couldn't let her be alone. He had promised her that he would always be with her, that he would come back for her. He limped towards the sound of her voice, but the next time it rang out, he felt that it was coming from another direction. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Rey!" He called into the ether. "I'm here. You're not alone. I'm with you." /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Ben searched around frantically for any sign of her. Rey's voice was so clear, so close... but he was alone. His feet fell on an inky black floor that might not have been a floor at all. He shivered against the cold and the dark and tears began to sting his eyes. Ben dropped back to a seated position, allowing himself to rest his injured body. It was then that he questioned whether his body was truly injured or if he was... /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"He had drawn a shuddering breath, the air not reaching all the way into his lungs. His eyes had crinkled, pushed up by a smile that hadn't graced his face in years. She had kissed him. He had tried to kill her, violated her mind, threatened everything that she fought for... and she had kissed him. There had been a small chuckle; her lips pressed to his had been the last thing that he was expecting. Then there had been darkness. Coldness crept into his soul, her hands on his the only warmth left in a body that was quickly fading. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Ben," another voice called softly from the darkness. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"His head whipped around, soft black strands of hair shifting around his face as he moved. He wasn't hearing things this time - a woman stood before him and he recognized her instantly. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Mom," he gasped. Ben rose once more and dragged his body to hers as quickly as his legs would allow./span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"He threw his arms around the miniscule figure of Leia Organa and he pulled her close to his enormous chest. He hadn't been this tall the last time that they had hugged. He was taller now than his father had been. Ben tried to speak but his lips moved silently, an apology, a plea for forgiveness lodged in his throat as if the Force itself were choking him. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""I know, Ben," she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I know."/span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Leia returned her son's embrace and the two stood sobbing for what felt like an eternity before she brought him to arm's length and stroked his long cheek with her small hand. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""My Ben," Leia uttered, a smile breaking across her face. "You came back to us."/span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Her face was kinder than it should have been after all he had done in the years since they'd parted. Ben wondered then if she knew that it was not him who had pulled the trigger to fire on the Raddus over D'Qar. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Thank you," he breathed. "For reaching me. You didn't give up."/span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"She smiled. "I failed you, Ben. We all did. Leaving a path for you to follow back to the light was the least that any of us could do. I'm glad you found it."/span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Ben nodded and clasped Leia's hands in his. He looked into her eyes, his own solemn and searching. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Mom, how do I get to her?" he asked. "I promised I wouldn't leave her. I've broken too many promises."/span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Leia turned away. "I don't know, Ben. We don't know what it meant to find you here and not in the Force."/span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""We? He said, interrupting his mother./span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Luke and I," she told him./span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Ben nodded solemnly. He understood that there was nowhere in the galaxy far enough for him to run to avoid Luke Skywalker. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Ben, I know now what happened that night. I understand," she began. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""You don't know what happened afterwards. I chased the darkness that was calling to me. It was the only place I felt like I belonged. You and Dad pushed me away, Luke tried to kill me. I was so alone." he confided, his shoulders shaking. "I held on for a little bit. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I just didn't want to be Ben Solo anymore. I didn't realize that I couldn't become someone else without hurting everyone. And then Dad,"/span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"His throat closed again and it felt like all of those times that Snoke had punished him for the light that had always been hidden away in his heart; all the times that he had tried to snuff it out from Ben's soul once and for all. He had crumpled to the floor at his master's feet more times than he could count, gasping for air, writhing in pain as lightning coursed through his veins. He wondered if anyone in the galaxy would ever believe that the monster that was Kylo Ren had been forged by the constant torment and pain that he had suffered. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""I forgive you, Ben," Leia whispered as she pulled her son into a tight embrace. "You can forgive yourself, too, when you're ready."/span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"He shook his head in her shoulder as he cried. "I can't, Mom." /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""We both know that he wouldn't have had it happen any other way." she told him, cupping his face in her hands. "Your father and I knew what it would take to reach you and we were willing to do whatever it took." /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Ben nodded again, tears streaming down his face. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Rey forgave you," Leia said softly. "Didn't she?"/span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"He smiled and it was his father's crooked grin that spread across his face. "I don't know why or how, but yeah."/span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Ben, do you know what this place is?" Leia asked. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"He gazed around, his eyes still adjusting to the pitch black of the air around him. "It's nowhere. It's everywhere." He took a deep breath, eyes wide in search of light. He saw it in slight traces of white, almost like stars dotting the ether. "This is the World Between Worlds, isn't it?" /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"She nodded. "Luke and I have both passed on to become a part of the Cosmic Force, but it seems that you are hovering between it and the Living. I don't know if that means you have a choice bu you found your way back to the light, Ben, with only breadcrumbs to follow. Rey is out there waiting for you. I think that one way or another, be it in the Living or the Cosmic Force, you'll be able to find your way to her. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""Luke. Can he help me?" Ben asked suddenly. "I know he has no reason to, but if he knows more about this, if he can teach me... I'll do whatever I have to do to find her, Mom. She's been alone for so long."/span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Leia smiled sadly. "I'd like to think that after she found us she wasn't quite so alone." /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"He clasped her hands in his. "I think she very nearly joined me; you were what kept her in the light."/span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"At that moment Ben's attention was drawn away from his mother to a voice that he hadn't heard in many years. It was Tai. His sparring partner, his first friend. His confidante. The first innocent life that he had taken. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Ben dropped his mother's hands and walked towards the sound of Tai's voice. Light traced it's way around him, illuminating this path as if it were guiding him. A circle of light appeared before him and beyond it Ben saw himself, no more than 13 years old. He and Tai were sparring with wooden swords. Luke told them that before they could build their own lightsabers they must master the fighting forms with non-lethal weapons. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"He watched as the two boys from his past ducked, parried, and countered each other's blows while Luke Skywalker looked on proudly. Tai's voice egged him on and their fighting intensified. The boys had been learning each other's weaknesses to better disarm their opponents in battle. Ben's was being taunted while he fought and feeling inferior; Tai's weakness was not being able to counter a fully enraged Ben. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Young Ben snarled and threw his full weight into a lunge and Tai was unable to parry. The teen flew backwards and landed in a pile of cushions, his wooden saber clattering to the ground. Ben jogged over to his friend to ensure that he was okay and helped him back to his feet. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""I'll get you next time, Solo," Tai chuckled, clapping his friend on the back. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"The image drifted into another. Ben was older. He wore all black and his saber was clipped to a holster over his shoulder. It did not yet bear the cross guard design and his blue Kyber crystal was still intact within the hilt. He watched as he tore into someone's mind for the first time, digging until he found what he was looking for. His anger flared when the being was killed seconds later by one of the Knights of Ren - it was his first glimpse at how cruel he himself would become. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"Tai appeared, flanked by two others. The young men engaged in a duel, their blue sabers clashing violently, neither one hoping to win the battle. When the opportunity arose, Ben could not and would not murder his friend. He would get a chance to undo the mistakes of the past several weeks, after all. And then with no warning, Tai was run through with a saber possessed by Ren. Ben's future faded into black. /span/p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;""I think this place is trying to tell me something," Ben told Leia. /span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino;"span style="font-family: Palatino-Roman;"She didn't respond. He whirled around to find that she was gone. Ben Solo was once again alone in the dark./span/p
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p style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 13px; line-height: normal; font-family: Palatino; min-height: 14.3px;" /p
