First and foremost this is the original story before I started to rewrite it... and got stuck in the writing of the rewrite. If you are following the rewrite you will notice quite glaring differences between this and the one you have already started following. I do not intend on giving up with the rewritten version, however, I think you guys waiting for me to get over my blank slate of a muse isn't going to happen any time soon. So I am re-posting the original. This was my first completed story and it is very different from how my last stories flow.
Secondly, this is not beta'ed. NOT AT ALL. There will be mistakes in spelling (I'm Australian and some words we spell differently). The layout will honestly have you wondering what the hell I was thinking. I wasn't; well that's not true. What I was thinking was that I knew what I was doing and screw anyone else... yes I was a conceited little shit even at the age of 31.
Thirdly, there is 68 chapters to this story, including the epilogue and two outtakes. All of which have been uploaded to my profile so I should be able to update daily. Please understand that I have a busy life in the real world. This includes two children, one grown and the other with disabilities. So while I should be able to update wherever I am, if something happens please understand that I will miss updating.
Last but not lease. I am not SM. Not even close. I do not own the franchise, work in any capacity with the publishing houses or studios. I merely escaped from reality to play with some characters that I fell in love with while reading four books in a matter of days.
J POV
We talked throughout the night into the early hours in the morning, even after everyone had gone back to their respected places or to bed. First and foremost we talked about peanut, even showing me a picture that was taken at 3 months. When I asked her if she knew what we were having she looked a little uncomfortable.
"Sorta, I had one picture of peanut where I could show everyone and one that showed what peanut was. I just haven't looked at it, and neither has anyone else."
I could understand that. I think. I mean she's had 5 months to get used to having a baby, and while I'm glad it's mine I wish I was there for her the whole time. She really shouldn't have gone through that all on her own. I was so glad that my brother and Charlotte were there to help her as well as everyone else. I had so many questions for her that I didn't know where to start. Like how she knew Emmett and Rosalie; what she was planning to do once the baby was born, like living arrangements and work? I knew she was a reporter of sorts but wasn't sure what exactly was her role at the paper.
She told me about her life growing up as the police chief's daughter, how she had gone to school with Edward but nothing happened between them until they were both at college, and how Esme and Carlisle had taken her in before then. Even when they found out that she was pregnant and it wasn't Edwards, there were still there for her. How broken everything was between her and her parents and it took her mother to kick her father's ass before he realized what a colossal mistake he made when he kicked her out. What she had done at college, and how she met Charlotte and Peter.
In return, I told her about how Emmett and I had gone through basic training and somehow managed to be in the same platoon with the army. My stupid days of chasing girls. What I doing now that I had left the army. With all the background information shared it was easy to see that she was one of those women that come around very rarely but once they are in your life you never want to let them go. No matter what the relationship was between you and her.
By three in the morning, she was exhausted and in serious need of sleep. No matter what she said I didn't think it right to have kept her up all night when she obviously needed rest. The day had been eventful, to say the least. So I begrudgingly left my perch on her bed missing the comfort of her and her touch
"Bella, would you like to go to dinner with me tomorrow night. Nothing uncomfortable or anything, but I'd like to get to know you more. I was serious about what I said before bout wanting to be here for you no matter what the outcome of this." I asked, I didn't want to force her but there was just something that kept me drawn to her; something that I don't think I'd ever get enough of. As she sat there on her bed, I watched as her emotions played across her face. Fear, hope, happiness, and... Pain?
"What are you thinking about?" I asked, I could understand the fear of hope and happiness, but the pain. Where or more importantly why was she in pain?
I watched as she bit her lower lip, suppressing the urge to take that lip and make it my own. "I'm scared, Jasper. After all this time here you are. Telling me that you want to be with me, that no matter what you will be here for me and peanut. You have no clue how much hope that gives me. But I don't want to go to sleep and wake up only to find that you're not here. That it was all a dream. It hurts too much to think about it. Then you have my crazy emotions, that I don't want you to go, but I'm afraid to ask you to stay. Does that make sense?" I watched as the tears slowly fell down her face.
How could I be so selfish? I was thinking about what I wanted and not what she wanted. Of course, she would be hurt, that with everything she's gone through that she'd think that I'd leave. Without even realizing what I was doing, I found myself back at her side, holding her for dear life.
"How about I stay then, I'll sleep in the lounge room, there's' a pullout sofa there. So you know I'll still be here when you wake up?" I whispered cradling her in my arms, slowly rocking back and forth trying to calm her.
She nodded into my chest, "hold me until I fall asleep? Please." Her soft voice muffled somewhat but her position. How could I refuse her she was scared I'd leave her. That she would have to face this on her own as she had for the past 5 months.
Ever so slowly I picked her up and slid her across the bed, lying down beside her. It felt so right like I was home. Her head resting in the crook of my neck while her arm lay across my chest holding onto my shirt. It was something that I would never forget. How could I, it's something that I had only wanted for the past 5 months. Holding onto the woman that I love. As she settled down more into her position I started to run my fingers through her long hair, earning a moan from her as she nuzzled even more into my side, if that was possible I would say she was trying to fuse our bodies together.
"I want this Jasper. I really do." I heard her say just as she fell asleep. I think my heart had grown wings as it took off. I just laid there waiting for something to show me I wasn't dreaming that it was all real.
Okay, I know it's late, but bear with me. Between shopping for a new bed for my son, calming a meltdown in Ikea (the staff there were amazing and helped so much), and putting said bed together. It was well past bedtime. To make it up to you, how about two chapters in one day?
