First and foremost this is the original story before I started to rewrite it... and got stuck in the writing of the rewrite. If you are following the rewrite you will notice quite glaring differences between this and the one you have already started following. I do not intend on giving up with the rewritten version, however, I think you guys waiting for me to get over my blank slate of a muse isn't going to happen any time soon. So I am re-posting the original. This was my first completed story and it is very different from how my last stories flow.
Secondly, this is not beta'ed. NOT AT ALL. There will be mistakes in spelling (I'm Australian and some words we spell differently). The layout will honestly have you wondering what the hell I was thinking. I wasn't; well that's not true. What I was thinking was that I knew what I was doing and screw anyone else... yes I was a conceited little shit even at the age of 31.
Thirdly, there are 68 chapters to this story, including the epilogue and two outtakes. All of which have been uploaded to my profile I will try to upload as often as I can. Please understand that I have a busy life in the real world. This includes two children, one grown and the other with disabilities. So while I should be able to update wherever I am, if something happens please understand that I will miss updating.
Last but not least. I am not SM. Not even close. I do not own the franchise, work in any capacity with the publishing houses or studios. I merely escaped from reality to play with some characters that I fell in love with while reading four books in a matter of days.
A/N: Once more I need to warn you of all of the emotional rollercoasters you will feel with this chapter. Tissues will most definitely be needed by some of you.
We all took turns keeping an eye over Bella after that night in the hospital; all of us afraid she'd have some major issues from witnessing and hearing what had happened to Brea. When we left the hospital that night I had expected that she'd break down somewhere during the night; but she kept it together, only straying far enough from Junior's crib to lay down on the bed once he'd gone to sleep once more.
I had seen each of the girls fall apart, hell even Rose did and she's probably one of the strongest people I know. But Bella had kept it all in, and we were seriously worried about what was going on in her head. She rarely spoke or did anything really. When she was awake she held onto Junior not giving him up for anything, only when I was around would she put our son down. And frankly, she was scaring the shit out of everyone with her silence.
Marcus and Chelsea were probably the only other people she would talk to other than me and then it was because she was helping them deal with the funeral and the care of little Bella. No one knew what was going to happen to that little girl, since Riley was still out there somewhere and I doubt that Brea had any legal paperwork for something like this.
"Bella, honey it's time to go. Marcus and Chelsea will be waiting for us." I called from the bathroom, tying my tie before we left, while Bella got Junior ready for the funeral.
Her soft pained mummer was the only reply that I had this morning. I knew it was going to be a hard day for all of us, but really, it was going to be hell on Bella. She'd been dealing with this the wrong way and it was slowly eating her up inside. After she told us that what was said in the room was covered under doctor-patient confidentiality or whatever it's called we'd accepted that she knew way too much and needed to leave it at that. No one was going to bug her for details.
As I made my way over to the bed where they were both situated I saw her shoulders shaking, and the soft gasps for breath she was taking trying to steel herself for the day's unfortunate event. But before I had a chance to comfort her she quickly grabbed a tissue and dabbed the tears from her face and put her glasses on to cover her eyes.
"We're ready Jazz." She softly spoke and if Junior wasn't snuggled into her arms I would have held her so close just to feel her, to help her realize she was safe and she could let go of her pain.
The ride to the church was unusually quiet, even Peter and Charlotte were silent. A first regardless of the occasion; Peter always tried to make it a little easier for everyone involved. But today he refrained from his usual attitude; something I wasn't sure was a good thing. Yes I know we were on our way to a funeral but seriously Brea always loved that he was able to crack a joke with little thought of the consequences of his actions. I'm sure it would have helped Bella seeing him as his usual ass self.
As we drove, I contemplated the situation at hand, trying to understand where Bella was gaining her strength to keep it together somewhat when the rest of us were falling apart at one time or another. She'd shown that strength since the call from Marcus that day, and it continued through the passing days. I had to wonder when she'd finally crack and if I was going to be there for her when she finally did. I was deep in thought with everything that had happened; my fears were creeping up that I didn't realize that we had arrived at the church where the funeral was being held.
Marcus and Chelsea had asked if us four guys would carry the coffin, saying that she saw us as her brothers in many aspects and that it would be something that he was sure she would want. Each of us was beyond words at this request, only dumbly nodding our acceptance to take this role.
I guided Bella and Junior towards the seats where Chelsea had specifically held in place for us before I made my way back to the Hurst where we were to wait until everyone had settled. The director had us stand by the car as the casket moved forward, Peter and Edward on the left and Emmett and I on the right. None of us said a word as we took hold of the final resting place of our little sister. I heard three distinct sniffs from the others and I fought my own as we made our way down the aisle towards the frame where we were to place the casket; before we turned towards the seats set aside our lovely women; behind her mother and father.
I listened to the celebrant as he spoke of Brea's accomplishments, of her spirit, and her strength. Wondering how someone so young could have done so much and touched so many lives in such a short time period.
I listened and held onto Bella as Marcus told us about Brea growing up, of her wanting to be a wonderful mother like her own to her little girl, and of how she had grown into a beautiful woman with the help of those who loved her.
I watched as a very shaken Chelsea took her turn telling us about how she had decided that she wanted to help others like her, young pregnant women, and how it was Bella's help that brought her daughter back to her stronger and more courageous than anything she had seen. I felt Bella lean into me when Chelsea sang her praises; knowing Bella she wouldn't have thought it as anything more than something anyone would do.
But what I wasn't ready for, what none of us were ready for was when the celebrant called for Bella to speak. She kissed me gently on the cheek as she laid Junior in my arms and made her way towards the podium. Taking her glasses off and handing them to Char as she passed.
"Breanne Marie Tanner was a wonderful young woman whose heart and strength was something that I don't think I will ever see again in someone so young. I met her when she wrote to me asking me for help with talking to her parents. I was there when she made the decision to break the news and I was never more astonished at her determination and courage as she made the decision to have her beautiful daughter.
She told me how one day she wanted to make sure that young mothers would be able to have the same help as she did. But I don't think she realized that she helped others as much as she did. She helped me realize that nothing should be taken for granted, that love no matter what age, no matter how it is presented in your life. Whether it' the love of a friend, sister, brother, mother, father, or lover to hold it and never let it go. And even if we can't see her anymore, if we can't talk hold, or feel her with us physically she will always be with us in our hearts.
Her little girl is a constant reminder of the strong, powerful and beautiful woman she was; and I can see that this little girl will be everything her mother ever wanted her to be and so much more. I promise you, Brea, I know you're listening in on this. That I will be there for her every step of her life that I will help your parents in any way I can. You have my word."
"Spread your wings little angel,
Let the winds take you up high.
Spread your wings little angel
Let the freedom of your soul soar above.
Spread your wings little angel,
Be free from the pain that held you.
Spread your wings little angel
Know that you will always be loved."
"Don't cry for me little angel
Your tears are the beauty within the sky.
Don't cry for me little angel
Your pain has been set free.
Don't cry for me little angel
But smile and laugh and love
Don't cry for me little angel
But watch over the little one for me."
"I love you Brea, my friend, my joyous voice, my sister."
She blew me away; I think she blew us all away. I watched as she placed a little locket onto the casket that attached to a piece of white silk. It wasn't until she had bent down and kissed Marcus, Chelsea, and little Bella that I realized she too was wearing one but was fastened around her neck with a piece of black silk. It was also at that moment that I saw her tie another locket around both Chelsea's and Little Bella's necks. All of them were identical. I looked towards Char, Alice, and Rose. They too had an identical locket tied around their necks, each with a different colored silk ribbon holding it in place.
I held her hand throughout the rest of the service and the drive back home. We had dropped Char and Peter at the wake afterward, Bella being tired after the last few days I couldn't blame her. I went to put Junior down as she went towards the bathroom to have a shower and get comfortable clothes on. It took a few minutes to settle the little one but eventually, he was able to sleep after the noise and commotion that had been earlier.
As I walked into the room, I heard the sobs that I had been waiting to hear these past few days. And I wasn't sure if I was relieved or frightened that she was finally letting go. I made my way towards her slowly, but I was only steps away before she looked up from her spot on the floor; the water running down her frame as she crouched holding her legs up to her chest.
"Jazz; it hurts. God, it hurts so badly. Why did she have to go?" not caring for my clothes, I ran into the shower and placed her on my lap.
This is what she needed to do, I realized that the minute she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, holding on to me for dear life. Afraid I would disappear if she let go. So this is what I would do, this is how Peter and Char found us a few hours later when they came home. They smiled as they noticed that she and finally let go, and stepped back towards the hall. I was never so glad that Junior now slept through the night now, and now Bella needed me as she let go of her little sister.
Brea may have only been in our lives for a short time; but damn did she make a huge impact.
