Teaser: Meet Eve 2.0!
Some Time Later...
Original Sin
"Hi, Lucifer," Eve said, smiling with some difficulty as the elevator door closed behind her.
"Eve! I'm glad you got my message! I was beginning to worry when you stopped answering my calls," Lucifer said, happy to see she was doing well. No one, not even Maze, had heard from her in quite a while.
Eve nodded. "I was worried about me too, for a little while there, but things are going pretty good now."
"So! What trouble have you been getting into?" Lucifer asked jovially seating himself in an armchair on the far side of the room, drink in hand. She began walking toward him with an oddly determined expression on.
Smiling and laughing slightly before she responded, Eve replied, "I've been going to school, actually. A lot. Got myself a job, and a little bit of a waitressing side hustle."
"There's no need for all that," Lucifer said, concerned. The last thing he had wanted for the foremost woman in Creation was to have to debase herself with menial work.
"Oh yes, there is, Lucifer. There really is," she said, her voice becoming unsteady. She rested her knee on the armchair between his legs and kissed him deeply, in spite of the fact that he was leaning away and retreating as far back into the chair as he could. Lucifer had to turn his head to get out of it.
"Eve! Mmnh...! What are you...?! Stop! Listen! Please, just stop," Lucifer said, having had to drop the drink in hand and forcibly but carefully push Eve away. Lucifer caught his breath and tried to get his bearings. "Listen, Eve. My door is always open to you and always will be. You know that. But I'm Chloe's. That's never going to change. If there's anything I can do for you, I'll do it. Just not that."
Eve smiled bitterly. "You know what? There is something you can do for me."
Lucifer let go of her, waving his hands out to the side to indicate he was open to just about anything. "Name it."
"You can listen to me."
Lucifer's eyes went wider than they already were. He adjusted himself in his seat, starting to feel extraordinarily uneasy. "Very well."
"At school? I've been very interested in psychology, mental health. Never realized just how much I already knew after watching humanity from afar for so long... it's also taught me quite a bit that I hadn't realized yet... Lucifer, in every way possible, except physically..." Eve nearly screamed what came next. "I was a child, Lucifer! The ability to have sex to does not just magically make you an emotionally mature adult who's ready for the experience."
Lucifer recoiled at the sound and sight of her fury. Against his better judgement, he spoke. "Hold on a moment, I've never done anything you haven't asked me to."
Eve was shaking she was so angry. "When the Almighty made you, he should've slapped a piece safety tape on your penis that read 'drive responsibly' before he ever let you out of the pearly gates and set you loose on Creation. Nice and sticky stuff too, so you'd have thought about it twice or more before ripping it off and taking it for a test drive. Even after all these millenia – eons! – you still don't fucking-well get it, do you? How you affect people?"
Lucifer scoffed. "Of course, I do. I can evince someone's deepest desires and I simply give them what they want."
Eve stood slightly, reached back and slapped Lucifer with the kind of force that might actually have knocked out a lesser man. Leaning in menacingly, she snarled, "I swear to God Almighty, if you speak again, if you tune out or so much as glance away, I will slap you again."
Lucifer nodded. It was almost imperceptible in light of how badly he was shaking.
"By every measurable metric you are literally the best sexual partner anyone will ever have. And thanks to you, I am going to spend the rest of eternity looking for something I am never going to find – someone who compares to you. I love you! Or at least whatever I can see of you through my own desires. But you're never going to love me. If you were never going to love me, you should've left me the fuck alone. That mind-altering night I hear you finally got to share with Chloe?" Eve paused as comprehension finally showed on Lucifer's face. He was quivering, eyes-going wide as sadness tugged the corners of his lips down and held them there. Eve snarled what she said next just inches from his from his face. "You steal that privilege from the lovers the rest of us have to settle for.
And you know what the worst part is? After our little adventure, it didn't take me long to ask Adam for the more of the same. My firstborn – Cain? I'll never know who his father actually was. I know, you haven't left a trail of babies through the ages. But you know what, I'm not just any woman. I'm the first. I was created by your Father and I'm immortal just like you. Which means you may very well have killed your own son. But we'll never know, will we? Because you didn't take on your part of the responsibility for what we did.
Back in the garden, we were both little better than children. Still, you could have done the decent thing: turned your back and respected me, given me my modesty back somehow, even if you cared nothing for yours. But no, you had to go and take me just because you could. But now? Especially now, you should have exercised some self-restraint. Seen me for the... naïve, fresh-out-of-a-forced-marriage child I was. After all these millenia, you should've known better and taken into account what was best for me, not just you. I don't care what I asked you for. You've been around the block enough times that you should've had the stones to do what was right, and not just went along with what was convenient because you were going through a rough patch with the woman you actually love."
"Eve, I... I don't know what I can do for you but, whatever it is, just..."
"Shut up and listen," Eve reiterated as loudly as she could without outright shouting. "There's nothing you can do, Lucifer. Not a single, goddamned thing you can do to fix this other than love me the way you should have, when you should have. But we both know that's impossible. In fact, nothing is exactly what you can do for me. I know you've got the BDSM thing down, so let's give it one last go, shall we?" Eve laughed brokenly, still furious, as she continued to lay it on Lucifer. "The only difference here is you don't get any input on the rules of engagement. So! Here are the rules going forward: you are not to contact me. You are not to inquire about me. You are not to look for me. You aren't so much as allowed to speak to me unless I've spoken to you, and even then, I'd be extraordinarily careful about what you say, if I were you. I don't want to know you exist, unless I say I do. If I ever choose interact with you again, you are to respect me. Is that clear? Don't speak. Just nod."
Lucifer did. He kept his eyes fixed on Eve. He genuinely did not want to be slapped again. He was surprised the first one hadn't broken her hand. She stood and backed away from him, a look cold as ice on her face and especially in her eyes. She wiped away the single tear that had run down her cheek. She turned away and went to her purse on the opposite side of the coffee table, chatting conversationally as she did. "You know, I'm grateful for everything you did to help me get on me my feet. I truly am. But frankly, Lucifer, it feels like blood money. Care to hazard a guess as to what this might be?" she asked, taking an envelope from her purse. Lucifer shook his head stiltedly still forcibly fixating his gaze on her and shaking badly from head to toe. A heartbreakingly distressed sound tried to escape his lips but his throat was so constricted he had no hope of getting it all out.
"Every penny you ever gave me. In full. I've been working full-time, going to school full-time plus waitressing on the side at a snazzy place just make it back. Damn near have to sell myself for good tips, but it's been worth it to get shot of you. I didn't say you were free to do as you liked yet," she cautioned him, raising a hand, when his gaze fell away at the words 'get shot of you'. He forced them back to her, tears falling from his eyes when he finally had to blink. "It took a long time and a lot of hard work, Lucifer. But I know who I am now. I am free of you. And I'm a damned fine woman now that I am. As a small piece of mercy, you're free now, too. Think of it as a courtesy from a Lady and more than you deserve." Lucifer let his gaze fall and he sat shaking nearly uncontrollably as Eve slid the envelope to him across the coffee table.
"It's been fun, as always, hun," Eve said, lighthearted. She walked to a mirror near the door and adjusted herself slightly, wiping away any remaining sign of tears. She took pride in her appearance and it would be a cold day in Hell before she let him be the reason she looked out of order on the way home. It was at that moment that Chloe Decker arrived in the elevator.
"He's all yours, sweetheart," Eve spat. She exchanged places with Chloe in the elevator and fixed her gaze to Chloe's, not so much as blinking while the doors slid closed.
"What was that all about?" Chloe asked, utterly confused by what had just happened. Chloe crossed the room as quickly as her feet would carry her the moment she took in the expression on his face, concerned for him like she'd never been before.
Knowing he couldn't lie, his expression twisted with misery and the only sound that came out when he tried to speak was badly mangled by regret and guilt so potent, he'd never thought it was possible to feel so much of it.
"Lucifer?" Chloe asked, at a complete loss. Having no idea what had gone down, she hesitated to even touch him in the state he was in. Lucifer began to stand. As he glanced downward at his own shaking hands, a sudden shot of pain in his back so searing it forced an agonized cry out, hit him. It had him jerking backward into the armchair, lamp table and lamp so violently the furniture scattered behind him and the lamp crashed to the floor. As he retreated through the debris field his feet went out from under him. When his upper back hit the floor, the kind of cry of pain that would turn the stomach hearing it from anyone, let alone an angel that should have been invincible, scared the shit out of Chloe.
"Lucifer! What's... what's happening? Talk to me. Please...?" She watched in horror as he crawled backward through the door a trail of blood appearing from beneath him before long. He was reflexively reaching for his back like he was trying to pull something out of it every time a new shot of pain hit, severe enough to have him crying out and crying. Whatever it was, he no longer seemed to think he was worthy of protecting her, and he was little or nothing now other than vulnerable.
The pain was so blinding Lucifer could hardly think. He made it out into fresh air, managing to get somewhat to his knees but he was still more or less seated on the floor. Reaching up with one trembling hand and arm to hold himself up with the balcony's glass enclosure, Lucifer's expression remained wracked by suffering and regret. He unfurled his quaking wings. The sight and smell of them made Chloe nauseous in a way she hadn't been since... Michael. They weren't just molting or singed. The whitest wings she'd ever seen on an angel were slowly turning blacker than night and rotting. The rot had started oozing off of them. The smell alone made her nose want to close itself off, crawl back into her face and hide. She refused to say it given the state he was in but she sure as hell thought it: Oh, God.
She gagged and shakily exhaled. Her eyes began to water. "Mmn... Lucifer, what just happened?" Chloe said almost whispering, before she put her nose and mouth into her elbow to try to stave off the stench.
"I..." Lucifer had to bite back a cry of pain instead of speaking. "I... I've done something unforgiveable to Eve and not just her..."
"What did you do? Lucifer... you have to tell me or I can't..." Chloe started to say as she slowly moved out onto the balcony, kneeling and seating herself on one heel.
Lucifer shook his head vehemently, unable to speak. If he so much as opened his mouth, he knew it would be an expression of pain that came out. It was all he could do to take in the heaving breaths that kept him from passing out for lack of air. Her mind racing, Chloe tried to find to find the answer herself while she put nothing less than heroic effort into keeping her lunch down. With everything she knew Lucifer freely embraced doing and given that God wasn't here to smite him personally at this very second, he hadn't killed someone. There was likely only one thing left it could be: for whatever reason, he must be thinking he had mistreated or raped Eve. Perhaps others. It was the only thing she could think of that might inspire self-loathing this fact-acting and potent.
"Oh no. Lucifer..." Chloe said, her hand over her mouth and nose. She reached out to touch his shoulder and he reacted even more viscerally than the night she'd tried to touch the scars where his wings had been carved off. The way he recoiled reminded her of the way a dog that had been whipped so badly it fell into a state where it recoiled and cried at the prospect of any touch. Chloe backed away.
"Do you want me to go...? I... yeah, I think I should go..." Chloe asked, answering her own question when Lucifer either wouldn't or couldn't. What could she possibly say or do if he wasn't willing to say anything? In addition to everything else happening to him, there was a sudden ringing in Lucifer's ears. Now, of all times, his gift had deserted him and placed itself in Chloe hands.
"No. God... no... I don't want..." Lucifer answered, hanging his head, gritting his teeth and turning away from Chloe as another bolt of pain pierced his back. "Please, don't leave," he said through tightly clenched teeth. As little as he wanted to be seen this way there only one thing he feared more: if she left, she'd never return the way she was here now. As someone who loved him. If she left now, something between them would break and they'd never be able to repair it.
Chloe nodded, her eyes watering as much from the urge to cry as the godawful smell. She hunkered down onto her heels, her back against the glass, elbows braced against her knees just inside arms reach. She put her hands together as if praying, resting her chin on her thumbs.
"Lucifer, you have to say something. Give me something to work with," she said, tears running down her face. She looked at him sideways as he replied.
"Eve... she... all of them, all along the down line, I've stolen the best nights of their lives," Lucifer said, cringing away from her. Chloe's eyes went wide as they could possibly go, her lips shaking as the magnitude of what was eating away at him became clear to her.
"Ohhh no... shit," she whispered, feeling a dangerous anger rising inside her. "I mean, it's all been consensual fun, hasn't it?"
"Is it still consent when you're being... drugged by unfiltered desire?" Lucifer asked rhetorically, his voice unsteady.
"Whoa... oh shit. Shit... shit, shit," Chloe said, very, very afraid that something in what he might soon say was going to destroy what they were forever. It was very probable the effect he had on others wasn't just like a drug... his voice echoed in her mind: I'm like walking heroin. Very habit-forming. It never ends well. Putting a hand to her forehead, Chloe smoothed the tension out of it, doing her level best to think clearly.
"Lucifer, it's not like you were created and given an instruction manual for your power or your... self. And there certainly isn't one for life, for other people. In a big way, we depend on others to teach us how to treat them... You've never encountered anyone before who could. That's not your fault."
"Not understanding that sooner is," Lucifer replied miserably.
"You and your siblings... Lucifer, you're nothing like anyone else. There's no way to know what should've been and when."
"That's an excuse," Lucifer said brokenly. Chloe smiled and nodded. Growing pains for these guys were something on another order of magnitude from puberty entirely.
Chloe tucked her hands under her arms and looked Lucifer's way, unblemished affection on her face and in her voice, when the thought occurred to her. "Yeah, you're right. Still, who could possibly grow enough, all at once, to regret everything irresponsible they did when they were young... and stupid?" Chloe asked, amused. Her tone had been very much loaded. Her 'spectacular assets' had served the same purpose as his mojo their fair share of times in her life. She was looking sidelong at Lucifer when her meaning occurred to him and a single laugh broke through his pain and sadness. Followed by another, and then a few more. Chloe smiled and leaned her head back against the glass.
"Lucifer, no one, not even an angel, can change the past. You're a better person at this moment than you were in the garden. You're a very different person now than you were when you and Eve tried to... see if there was still anything there. Changing the past isn't possible. So, what can you change?" she asked, hopeful he might have the answer.
He was still shaking, but beginning to come down from the heights of his misery. "What I do from now on," he said under his breath. She nodded, pinching her top lip between her teeth and casting a grateful glance heavenward.
Letting out a relieved breath, she whispered, "Exactly." Smiling at him affectionately, she inconspicuously let one hand rest at her side between them without touching him yet.
"I've never done anything against anyone's will, Chloe, but for all the damage I've done I might as well be counted among those who have. How is it you don't... think less of me? Hate me for it?" Lucifer asked, sadness now more potent than his subsiding guilt.
"You're right, I don't. But not because what you've done wasn't irresponsible. I don't hate you or even think less of you, because you feel exactly as awful about what you've done as you should..." Chloe took a moment to calm her stomach after it did a somersault at the mention of the putrid smell in the air. "I can literally see that. Justice means striving toward the idea that even the worst of us can choose to be better if given the chance. Our justice system is so flawed right now, that ideal has almost nothing to do with it anymore, but I still believe in the idea with every fibre of my being." Chloe looked to Lucifer with tears in her eyes, smiling.
Lucifer started shaking his head. His grip on the glass became so strong he thought he'd heard it crack. He forced himself to relax his fingers. "You might be able to forgive me, but you really shouldn't. The worst tortures in Hell are reserved for genocidal madmen, rapists and murderers, then liars – in that order. I deserve to be counted among them."
Chloe closed her eyes, wiping away tears from the corners of her eyes. "Lucifer, you've always respected and valued my opinion. In ways that almost all my colleagues never did, even when you disagreed with it. It's part of why I liked working with you so much to begin with. But I have to ask you for something: if you're going to ask me for my opinion, accept and trust it. I haven't said all this 'cause I like the sound of my own voice." Chloe began to outright cry, right alongside the affectionate smile that insisted on sticking around. She shimmied over closer as she spoke. "This isn't even opinion, but the same idea holds true. Fact: you are not the person you used to be. Also, a fact: I love you. Like I'll never love anyone else, so long as my immortal soul exists." With water and a loving light in her eyes and a smile on her face, Chloe reached underneath his rotting wing, through the oozing runoff, unflinching. She placed a comforting hand on his back between the joints of his wings.
Lucifer found himself involuntarily leaning back into her touch as if it were magnet. The warmth in her palm was almost hot enough to burn, but not quite. Chloe began to frown, worried she was causing him pain, almost backing away until Lucifer reached out for her and drew her into a sudden embrace. Shocked but relaxing into it, she placed both her palms flat against the centre of his back. Chloe watched, awestruck, as Lucifer's wings reformed themselves, even larger and a brighter shade of white than before. Any of the black decay that so much as touched his wings, evaporated on contact. Closing her eyes and laughing, she adjusted her hold on him once his wings were back as they should be and held him properly. Though he was doing his best not to, he was still shaking and crying, from shame as much as gratitude.
One thing that wasn't present was guilt. After all, guilt only persists when the lesson it needs to teach you hasn't yet been learned.
Lucifer was laughing. He sounded a little like a madman to his own ears but he didn't care. He adjusted and tightened his hold on her. In between two bouts of laughter as he tucked himself into the crook of her neck, he whispered to Chloe, "Thank you."
#
The sticky black stuff that had fallen from his rotten wings had taken heavy duty oven cleaner to remove from the balcony floor. Two out of three of the neighbours on whose doors she'd knocked were happy to be relieved of their debt to Lucifer Morningstar for the price of all their oven cleaner, some plastic buckets, rags and a few pairs of dish gloves. The second gentleman on whose door she'd knocked had mentioned his gratitude for Lucifer introducing him to a lovely young lady from Paris by the name of Veronique. From the presence of two scantily clad women in the room behind him when he answered the door, she wasn't sure that would be specific enough to call in the right favour.
She refused to let Lucifer be the one to deal with the mess. He was suffering enough. With the floor cleaned, furniture properly arranged again and cleaning equipment tucked out of sight, Chloe changed out of her soiled clothes and disposed of them. The sound of Lucifer's muffled call to her from the bathroom caught her attention. Guessing he very probably needed something heavier duty to get the stuff off him, she ascended the steps to the bedroom and bathroom, a bottle of pumice-laced soap in hand. She opened the door, keeping her eyes tactfully averted. Chloe slid the orange and ultramarine bottle to Lucifer across the bathroom floor. She heard it skid to a stop after contacting the side of the tub.
"Chloe... I can't reach or see the middle of my back properly. Would you... be willing to... I just want to be sure its all gone."
Chloe sighed. She pinched her lips between her teeth and nodded. "Yeah. Sure." She stepped into the bathroom, opening the door just enough to fit herself through. He didn't look her way. With his wings still open wide it was decidedly brighter in the room than usual. Seeing him in his natural state was nothing short of breathtaking. She blinked away the wonder that had her frozen in place for a moment. She walked over and pulled a nearby bench with her. There were red marks on his back where he'd rubbed his skin nearly raw trying to get the stuff off. Like someone who would scrub themselves bloody trying to get blood off their hands. Chloe shook and bowed her head for a moment, having to find some peace inside herself before she dared touch him. If she hesitated or resented him, he would feel it. She found inside what she'd felt when his wings returned, resting a hand between and above his shoulder blades.
"Hey."
Lucifer's laugh was barely audible but she felt him move under her hand. "Hey."
Without another word, Chloe set about washing away the black smears he indeed couldn't properly see or reach in the centre of his back. The fact that his feathers helped the job along nicely certainly saved his skin from worse than it had already seen. She ran the back of her hand over one side of his wings to smooth down the plumage. It sent a visible shiver through him.
"I'm sorry," she said softly, holding her hands back away.
He looked back over his shoulder, his laugh subdued and patient. "Hardly, Chloe. Quite the opposite, in fact."
"I see. Well, still, probably best avoided for now. You'll have to stand for me to get the rest."
He nodded and obliged. By the time she was down at his tailbone she was mostly working away at runoff from above. Tactfully avoiding anywhere too... erotic, she rinsed away what was left on his backside and the back of his legs.
Lucifer bowed his head, speaking his mind but no longer at the behest of anyone's mojo. "Don't be shy, Chloe. I'm much more worried about finding any later on. I'll end up back in here scrubbing my skin off again."
Chloe's eyes went wide in shock as she cocked her head back and held her hands out to the sides and away from him. "Did you really just ask me to spread 'em at a time like this?" Chloe scoffed, starting to laugh with considerable restraint, meeting the eye looking down at her over his shoulder. "I... ehhh... yep... fine! Fine! I'll do it. Fair warning, though: I'm going to be as clinical as possible about this."
"That's more than fair," Lucifer said, amused by her reaction and grateful. He turned his gaze away from her. Chloe reached into her back pocket, taking out nitrile gloves. Worming her way into one she pulled the glove down to straighten it out letting the cuff of it snap against her wrist. Lucifer instinctively turned his backside away from her and put a hand on it, bending scared at the knees.
"I just asked you to look, not go on a spelunking expedition!" he exclaimed innocently in protest.
"That you didn't. You did, however, deserve that," Chloe said, an affectionate, amused smirk on her face. Lucifer's laughter was slight but he did laugh and he was smiling. Chloe's expression turned stoic as she put her other glove on and broke out her flashlight. She didn't feel like having the results of the exam questioned when all was said and done. She cleared her throat once again. "All right. Lemme see," she asked, waving him toward her. He stood himself back up and did so. He did have to bend forward slightly so that he wasn't pressing them together the way one does when they stand up straight.
Chloe dutifully gave him a thorough check and rinse, between, under each and as far forward as was reasonable to try for. "Right. Nothing back here but an unblemished peach." Chloe gave his right cheek a confident, playful pat before she stood, put away her flashlight and started to take off her gloves. Lucifer turned to her aghast but definitively amused. "You can put your pants back on now, Mr. Morningstar," Chloe said, teasing, unable to keep her face straight for more than a second or so beyond that. She started to laugh, clearing her throat a couple of times as she did. She started out looking at the floor but soon enough looked up to meet his amused but clearly still-worried gaze.
"Are you sure?" he asked, half-seriously. Chloe mischievously flashed his eyes with the flashlight before she put it away.
"Yes, Lucifer. I'm sure," she said, smiling. Lucifer turned himself, wings and all, reaching for her cheek. If a kiss was what he was looking for there was no need to make him reach for it. She stepped in and took hold of his outstretched hand, giving him a deeply loving but surprisingly chaste kiss.
"You going to stay here a while longer?" she asked, meeting his gaze.
Lucifer shook his head. "I'm just going to rinse off."
Chloe smiled and gave him one last quick kiss before leaving the room. "'Kay."
#
Chloe held the phone to her ear, waiting for the call recipient to pick up on the other end. After a fair-few rings, he did. "Hey, Dan. I... uh... I know it's still a bit hard for you to get around, but I need a favour if you have the time."
"Yeah, sure, Chlo. I do. What's up?" Dan asked, sounding like he'd been resting.
"There's a midsized safe in the closet in my bedroom at my apartment. Do you mind grabbing what's inside and bringing it to Lux? I'll grab it from you at the curb."
"Okay. All right. Is anyone at the apartment... or?" Dan asked, just so he'd know what he'd have to explain to who if the need arose.
"No. Trixie's with mom tonight. I... uh... well, anyway. The code for the safe is seven eight two seven," Chloe said, not keen to explain what was going on.
"I'm probably gonna forget that by the time I get there. Text it to me?" Dan said, sounding like he was starting to move.
"Just spell the word 'star' with the PIN pad. I'll change the code the next time I'm home."
"Okay. Got it. That's an odd word to choose..." Dan observed, his tone somewhat irritated. Then it occurred to him: he's her friggin' PIN now...
Chloe laughed and smiled. "See you when you get here. Thanks." She hung up the call thinking, it's not that strange. She cast her gaze up toward where Lucifer, in full pajamas and robe with his hands, arms and a few spots on his legs bandaged, was setting two full bottles of tequila and a glass out on his bedside table. Light of my life, she thought, fully appreciating the irony. He poured tequila into the glass like it was water and downed almost the entire thing in one go. Chloe went wide-eyed for a moment, then smiled and laughed, shaking her head. She shot a momentarily incredulous glance heavenward. If that was what he needed to help him sleep after the day he'd had, so be it.
Chloe walked into the bedroom as he was laying himself down to sleep on his side facing away from her. She walked around the far side and sat in front of him. "Need anything else?" Lucifer shook his head, not raising it from the pillow, barely meeting her gaze. Chloe nodded, smiling slightly. "All right. Good night." She leaned in placing a kiss at the corner of his eye. Taking a swallow from the tequila that was left in his glass, she refilled it and left it where it was before wandering into the living room. It was going to be a long night. She felt an uncannily strong need to keep watch while he was in the shape he was. It very closely resembled being physically sick.
#
Chloe had stood watch through the night. Dan had delivered her spare sidearms and driven by afterward no less than four times, unasked. And she'd been out on the balcony to check in with a wave and a text message every time. The sun was up and Lucifer would likely be coming around to waking soon. She seated herself in the armchair near the window wall and put her nose into her modern, translated copy of The Odyssey, until she saw Lucifer stir enough that he had to be awake. He opened one eye lazily. There was no sense in trying to hide the fact that he'd woken up.
"Now why does this look familiar?" he growled, with a touch of good humour.
Chloe looked up from her book and smiled. "Close but not quite. No booze in this coffee."
"And why the bloody hell not?" he asked, feigning irritation.
"Because you drank enough to put me under the table three times over last night."
Lucifer chuckled and turned over to lay on his back. "Mmn. Yeah, fair point."
"Mind if I join you? Still clothed, of course," Chloe asked, crossing her heart and raising her right hand.
"I don't mind at all, so long as you bring the coffee with you," Lucifer answered, sitting himself up enough to lean on the headboard.
Chloe set down her reading and came over, coffee in hand with a slight smile on. "Any designs on going anywhere today?" she asked.
Shaking his head, Lucifer replied, "None." Taking a long drink of the coffee in hand he set in back down on the saucer. His hands began to shake as he did. Chloe put her hand up and held the plate so he could let go of the cup.
"How do I begin to forgive myself for this?" Lucifer asked, sinking back down under the sheets. "This time, I don't even want to."
"I might have a few thoughts on the matter. It's been a long night," Chloe said, her eyelids dropping for a moment. Lucifer shimmied himself down even further, having decided to use her stomach as a pillow. Eye brows up in surprise, Chloe chuckled as Lucifer nuzzled up against her and settled in.
"Okay..." she began, letting her hands fall to rest on him wherever they came to a stop. "It's very possible, Lucifer, that some of them will have found someone they can be just as honest with in bed, and possibly, everywhere else in life. Eve feels the way she does right now with perfectly good reason. But, finding the person she can have that kind of honesty with and confide in is her journey. I know you feel obligated to her, but she was right about how to go about it. Do as she..." Chloe's expression briefly turned to displeasure at Eve's actions. "asked. Accept that your part in her story is done. All you can do for her now is treat her with the respect she wants from you if you ever do see her again.
You know... some of the people you've been with may have had no idea it was even possible to be that honest and open with someone. To be accepted completely for who they are. I'm betting you've helped a lot of people love themselves better when the world around them was trying to convince them that it was shameful or evil. That's a beautiful thing.
There probably have been a few people who wound up feeling like Eve does. Some of them may never have found their way out of it. But, I'm willing to bet that most of them did." Chloe started to cry as she spoke. "You gave them something to aspire to, to help others find, that they would never have known was possible without you."
Lucifer wiped away a tear of his own and laid his head back down on her stomach, going still again before he asked, "How can you possibly know that?"
"Because that's what you've done for me. And I know you've never taken anyone to bed with malicious intentions," Chloe answered, her tone nothing but loving.
A sudden twitch moved him from head to toe. Lucifer felt something inside him give. It was if a flood gate opened and let loose a wave of emotion that washed all of the rot and decay inside him away. When it had passed, everything inside him was shining again as do rocks on the beach when a wave has washed them clean and receded on a clear sunny day. He closed his eyes, forcing tears to fall and moved himself as close to her as he could, wherever he could, wrapping an arm around her ribcage.
"This would work a little better if I could be under the covers with you..." Chloe quipped. Lucifer laughed and nodded. He might still have been having difficulty smiling but that would pass soon enough.
"Cool," Chloe said, chipper. She set about getting under the sheets, getting undressed and comfortably back to being as close as he wanted her to be. "You'll have to forgive me if I fall asleep," she said. "I didn't sleep all night."
Lucifer smiled and laughed. He could only imagine how bad a way he'd looked to be in if that was the case. He answered, sounding half-way to blissful sleep himself. "When you wake up, I'll be here."
Author's Footnote
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