First and foremost this is the original story before I started to rewrite it... and got stuck in the writing of the rewrite. If you are following the rewrite you will notice quite glaring differences between this and the one you have already started following. I do not intend on giving up with the rewritten version, however, I think you guys waiting for me to get over my blank slate of a muse isn't going to happen any time soon. So I am re-posting the original. This was my first completed story and it is very different from how my last stories flow.

Secondly, this is not beta'ed. NOT AT ALL. There will be mistakes in spelling (I'm Australian and some words we spell differently). The layout will honestly have you wondering what the hell I was thinking. I wasn't; well that's not true. What I was thinking was that I knew what I was doing and screw anyone else... yes I was a conceited little shit even at the age of 31.

Thirdly, there are 68 chapters to this story, including the epilogue and two outtakes. All of which have been uploaded to my profile I will try to upload as often as I can. Please understand that I have a busy life in the real world. This includes two children, one grown and the other with disabilities. So while I should be able to update wherever I am, if something happens please understand that I will miss updating.

Last but not least. I am not SM. Not even close. I do not own the franchise, work in any capacity with the publishing houses or studios. I merely escaped from reality to play with some characters that I fell in love with while reading four books in a matter of days.

"I swear to everything that is holy in this world, if you don't put that down I'm gonna break your favorite little toy!" Leah screamed from her room, before a flying Seth ran past the group.

This past few days had been amazing, and I had to thank Jasper so many times that I think I'm gonna get my butt kicked if I say it again; or at least within the next week anyway. When we arrived on my parent's doorstep, I think mother busted Jasper's poor eardrum with how loud she got. I was just glad that Junior was sound asleep and that we were still coming up the driveway. We both laughed as how she bypassed Jasper and me and wet straight for Junior, it wasn't until she made sure that it was a reality that we were there before she allowed us in the house.

However going from overly excited mother, to frantic hysterical mother in the matter of 5 seconds was somewhat daunting. She kicked our butts into the house and locked the door to make sure we didn't turn around and walk out. Only to have father unlock it minutes later crying out questions why it had been locked in the first place. He froze on the spot for all of 10 seconds before the smile crept on his face when he walked into the living room where we were situated.

We had spent the Thursday being dragged around the small community so mother could show off her grand baby and her now successful daughter and soon to be son in law. I think Jasper had to shake so many hands that day he ended up complaining that his wrist was too sore to even lift his fork up to eat his food that night. We had a little joke about it and promised that he'd be fine, but enjoying the moment as I fed him his food as I sat on his lap.

I don't know for sure but I can pretty much guess that mother took a snap shot of that little moment, and if she did I want a copy of it. Junior was enjoying his first trip to my hometown and absolutely loved all the greenery that surrounded us. Well that was until that night when he became so fussy I ended up sleeping downstairs on the lounge so everyone else could get some sleep. I hadn't even noticed that he had been removed or that I had been taken upstairs sometime during the early hours of the morning.

Now being Friday night we had headed down to the reservation to join the bon fire and for Jasper to meet everyone that he hadn't so far. We were sitting in the Clearwater's home waiting for the sun to set before we left for the beach. Junior was currently settled in Jake's overly large arms with a look of sheer concentration and horror painted on his face as he tried valiantly to feed the squirming little bundle.

Kate had dropped the little bomb that she was now 2 months pregnant and while everyone had known I felt a little out of the loop had stung that neither she nor Jake thought to tell me. However, I got over it quickly when she started asking so many questions about the whole pregnancy and morning sickness, pains, cravings and cramping that she had been dealing with that I couldn't help but go out on sympathy. That and the fact that watching Jake struggling was just too funny to be able to keep a straight face.

"Bella, tell him to give it back, I'm gonna kill him otherwise and I don't want Uncle Charlie to have to arrest me for it." Leah cried as she settled beside me while Seth went to hide behind Jasper.

"It's my diary; I don't want mum and dad to find it. They'll kill me if they knew what was in there...," she whispered in my ear and I think my eyebrows shot up in my hairline with that little bit of information.

Without a second thought I put my hand out leveling Seth with a look that plainly said or else. I heard the snickers of all the other adults in the room as he turned his eyes on me. Gotta say, motherhood stopped that little trick real fast. Reluctantly he handed it over to the cheers of the females in the room, and a very happy big sister.

"Jasper can you take Junior down to the fire, I'm gonna be about 5 minutes. I think I need to have a little girl talk to a certain person." I asked as I heard Leah curse under her breath, Seth's giggle, and a few huh's from the others in the room.

I stood up and pointed to the back door looking down at Leah who wouldn't meet my eyes but did as I silently requested. I distinctly heard Sue say she had to find out how I got that to work since it didn't work on Leah any other time. We walked to the tree line where I knew we wouldn't be overheard. I still hadn't said anything but she knew what was coming.

"It's nothing too bad, honest. Just normal teenage girl things." She said the minute we stopped. That alone didn't help me feel any better. Leah had always been the type of girl who did what was best for her and never followed what others said she should do, well unless they were a trusted adult then that was different.

"Drugs?" I asked as she looked down to the floor, "Sex?" she lowered her head even further; "Please tell me it was what you wanted, and you used protection." I whimpered. Just thinking she had gone through what Brea had scared the hell out of me.

"I, well, sorta. We did use protection but I was a bit out of it so I'm not sure if it was completely what I wanted." I was floored and I think she was realizing why I was floored. It really was so much like what Brea had gone through.

"Bella I'm 16 now, it's sort of expected. Geez you were my age when you slept with Jake the first time, weren't you?" she pleaded with me and I knew she wasn't going to like the answer.

"No, I wasn't. I was 18 and we seriously talked about it for nearly a month before we actually went through with it. Now what do you mean you were out of it, what were you on?" I patted the log I was now sitting on, knowing she needed a big sister not another mother.

"Jason, my dumbass ex had taken me to one of those teen bon fires that you and Jake used to go to. But their different now I'm guessing. Pot and alcohol are pretty much all that's offered as refreshments. You know how mum and dad allow us to drink once we are 16 as long as it's in the house and there's an adult in the house, well I thought it was no big deal. I mean I thought it was only beer. But it wasn't, they were doing shots of JB and god only knows what else. I've had pot before, and it doesn't affect me like it does everyone else. I don't know how many I had, but I do know it was a lot. And way long story short, we went back to his house and his parents were in P A for the night for some big thing. Things got heavy fast, and one thing led to another. It's sorta the reason why he broke up with me. He said if I didn't have sex with him again he'd break it off."

She was resting her head on my shoulder by the end of it, with tears running down her face; my heart was breaking for her. She really needed someone to talk to and I don't think she realized that she could have called. But then again it's not something you have a conversation about over the phone for a number of reasons.

"Why didn't you talk to Kate, or call me and see if I could have come to visit? I would have come if you had asked me and told me some of this. I know Kate would have been more than happy to help you. Oh and just so you know, I'm gonna kill this little asshole, just kicking his ass isn't enough now." She giggled and hiccuped through her tears as I wrapped my arms around her.

"I know, but it's embarrassing. I mean you're easy to talk to. You've known me since the day I was born, mum and dad have pictures of you and me the day I was born with you feeding me. Kate's not my big sister." She sighed and I just pulled her tighter to me.

"How about you give her a try. I may be a long way away but you can always call me, and if it's something you need to talk to someone about straight away that isn't your parents I'm sure Kate would feel honored you trust her." I asked as I pulled her to her feet, we'd been more than just 5 minute and I could see the torch lights starting to head our way.

I watched as she nodded her head in acceptance of the little plan and we began to walk towards those who had come looking for us. I watched as she raced off towards her home to hide away the little book that held her little secrets smiling that she was sort of back to herself again.

"Hey what happened to 5 minutes? You have some serious women down there arguing on whose gonna feed the little man his first s'more and god knows what else." Jasper's arms wrapped around me as Jake and Harry met up with us.

I did what every big sister would do; I stood up on my tiptoes and gently kissed his cheek to distract him from the question at hand. He dropped it with a very lazy smile that told me in no uncertain terms that he knew what I was doing and was gonna let it slide. Leah had come up bouncing to a stop, before she spotted her father where she then proceeded to skip over and kiss his cheek. Yeah she's been influenced by me way too much; as that little trick worked a charm on the pushover that we lovingly call Harry. Jake was just laughing and shaking his head.

"Dude, just wait till Kate starts asking for midnight runs to the store for something that would normally you wouldn't touch even if you were drunk." Jasper laughed as we watched the twisted facial expressions on Jake's face as he made his way towards his girl.

"Bella, he's old enough for something like this now. Come on let my give him one." Mother called from her perch beside father who was holding the little boy in question; and fending off all attempts to get the child out of his hands very well if I do say so.

"Nope; not unless you want to get him sick. Marshmallows make him sick." I called from the seat I had claimed, namely Jasper's legs. I watched as every woman quickly ate the treat they had in their hands.

Father had put Junior in his carrier covering him up with blankets before hiding him away within the little tent that Seth had brought with him to stop the wind getting at him; and was now in some deep discussion about firearms and the latest weapon that was soon going to be available to all civilians.

While Jasper had left the armed forces, he still liked to know what was going on, and all the advancements that had been happening with things like this. I always tuned out on this, not that I didn't want to talk to him about anything, but guns had always been something I was never interested no matter how many times father took me to the shooting range to learn to fire one correctly.

"What did you say to Leah, she's different, almost back to her old self?" Jake whispered in my ear since Leah was sitting close by talking to Kate.

"Nothing bad, just that she can always call me if she needs to and if I can't help her Kate would love to help her with anything that might not be suitable for a mother's ears." I answered him as truthfully as I could without really answering anything, but I think he was glad that I told her to talk to Kate if she needed someone that was closer to her. I felt him pull me in for one of his bear hugs that felt like it would crack a rib or two, and actually has before; quickly before he took off with some of the guys we had grown up with.

I must have got up and walked closer towards the water, thinking about how things felt different now. I didn't even hear Jasper walk over and join me in gazing out at the dark waters as some of the more adventurous kids had decided to go late night swimming.

"Does it feel good to have come back home? I know you missed It.," he whispered as he kissed the side of my head. I had to think about it. While it had been amazing that I saw all my family and extended family and friends, it was definitely not, what I expected.

"Honestly?" I turned towards him, meeting his blue eyes that I almost got lost in them as I normally do. He nodded his head as he kept my gaze, never faltering.

"While I love seeing everyone, it doesn't seem like home. Texas does; it's where our family are, it's where our home is. I love everyone here but it's different now. I'm different to how I used to be. I kind of miss it actually." He was smiling as I explained my answer and pulled me up to my feet.

"Well it's a good thing we go home then tomorrow. I was worried you wouldn't want to go back after the trip." It was my turn to surprise him as I pulled him down to my level and kissed him passionately, that I didn't even hear all the noise coming from the fire until we break this kiss and realized we had an audience. So I did what I do best, played it off by bowing and thinking everyone for liking the show.