Teaser: A x-rated movie night misadventure! ;p


More Like Rules Than Actual Guidelines

Chloe set the air popper out on the counter and frowned, hearing something from out in the main area of the apartment she wasn't expecting at that point in time. Closing the cupboard door behind her she walked back out into the living room.

"Lucifer did you leave the tap in the bathtub ru..."

"Mommy...! Why aren't they wearing their bathing suits?"

She and Lucifer stopped dead where they stood and looked to each other in the same instant, understanding and dread pasted across their faces. The next instant they were sprinting around the furniture between them and the sofa. Lucifer dove for the remote on the coffee table, only for it to slip out of his fingers and skitter away underneath the sectional. He was up on the couch, leaping off the far side of it and flat on his belly behind the couch looking for the remote in moments. Popping up from behind it, pointing the remote at the telly, he pressed the power button several times and to his dismay it simply would not turn off. Chloe had come to a screeching stop in front of the armchair and when it didn't work she nearly threw herself completely over it, yanking the power bar's cord out of the wall socket. The whole setup went dead and Lucifer collapsed back onto the floor, breathing heavy, feet sticking out from behind the couch. Chloe sank down into the chair, looking toward the ceiling and tossing away the tail of the cord. Silence had never sounded so loud.

A devilish grin began to form on Trixie's face and she had to put a hand over her mouth to stop the sound of her laughter coming out. Her sharp breath in broke the silence and Chloe started outright laughing.

"Trixie, hun... go finish unpacking your back pack and your sleepover bag, please," Chloe said.

"'Kay!" Trixie nodded and scampered off to do as she was asked, grinnin' like a little devil the entire time.

Lucifer had begun climbing back to his feet and pushed himself upright using the back of the couch as he spoke. "Nice thinking, by the way. With the power cord."

"This here ain't my first rodeo, pardner," Chloe quipped, complete with a godawful western drawl.

Chuckling as he climbed back up onto the couch rather than walk around, he dropped himself down to sit and let his breathing even out. "You're not angry?"

"No, Lucifer. Do I sound angry?" Chloe said between laughs.

"So, the uh, extracurricular entertainment... isn't a problem?"

"Well, I guess there are circumstances where it might be, but given last night I don't think this is one of them," Chloe said, bringing herself around to sitting upright in the chair to converse properly.

"And what circumstances would make it a problem?"

"Are you... watching it because you're not getting... because I'm not..."

His expression sank the moment he realized what she was concerned about. "No! I mean in terms of all that's out there we're still just getting started, but I don't think you've handed me a hard 'no' even once so far–"

"Because you're reading me that well," Chloe interrupted.

Lucifer continued, wandering back to the liquor display to clean up the spill he'd left behind. Chloe got up from the armchair, leisurely following him. "Be that as it may, it's just... going from hosting... parties that fill the apartment to just the two of us... it's uh, it's an adjustment. It's also not possible for you to do more and remain a high-functioning version of the person you are – juggling the little bird, being a damned fine police officer, a good friend, an aunt and well... mine."

"There was one hard 'no'," Chloe reminded him.

Nodding and partially smiling he replied, "One that's understandable and, if I'm being honest, it's become one of mine too."

"What was it then? Brainstorming? Just because?"

"A mix of both. More 'just because' than 'brainstorming'."

"Like, sixty-forty, or...?"

"More like eighty-twenty."

Chloe started laughing as she rested her backside against the counter beside Lucifer. "Thank you. For telling me the truth. And no. It's not a problem. If this helps you fill whatever gap there is between what you want and what I can practically do, it really is okay."

"Really really?" he asked, wearing an innocence she rarely saw on him.

Chloe couldn't help rolling her eyes and laughing. She slid closer whilst taking one of his hands hostage, resting her temple on his shoulder after placing a quick kiss on it. "Really really. I had a pretty good idea of what I was getting into, you know." Chloe paused a few moments before said the rest of what was weighing on her mind. She looked up to meet his sideways gaze. "It would become a problem if you just weren't interested anymore and used it as an outright substitute."

Lucifer squeezed the hand he was holding. "I can't imagine that ever being the case."

"Enough people who end up there feel the same way, at the start. But, you're right. I don't think that's us." He leaned in for a kiss and Chloe had to lean herself much further back to meet it. "You can still opt out, you know," she said, enough space between them that they could speak without lips touching but only just.

"No. No I can't," Lucifer said gravely.

Chloe frowned, turning to him and resting a hand on the centre of his back. "Lucifer–"

"You're a package deal, Chloe. Simple as that. Remember I said I wanted to get as close to you as I could?"

"Yeees..."

"Well, the closest I've ever been was parked in front of the school this morning with you in my arms. How I feel hasn't changed in the last... nine hours," Lucifer said giving his watch a superfluous glance.

Smiling and chuckling, Chloe nodded. "All right. Then may I suggest a new house... guideline?"

"If it'll keep me out of the doghouse, suggest away."

"From now on, we treat the Blu-ray player like a handgun: always clear the chamber before handing it over to someone else. Especially... small humans," she said, unable to help drawing the comparison from where he started with children and where he was at now.

"'From now on'. So, more like rules than actual guidelines," Lucifer retorted, a mischievous smile on.

She found herself laughing once again. Calling a spade, a spade. Yup, this one's mine all right, Chloe thought. "Maybe more like a law. As in it applies to everyone."

"Sounds equitable and just to me," Lucifer said, leaning in and placing a kiss on her forehead. She still smelled of the lake. "Title One, Penthouse Code of Conduct, Section One, Article One, Paragraph 1: When passing possession of the Blu-ray player between individuals in the Penthouse, always 'clear the chamber' before the recipient takes possession, especially if the recipient is a small human."

Chloe couldn't help her laughter. Someone had had his nose into the U.S. Criminal Code lately. "Oh, for pity's sake..." Chloe began, having to get it out between bits of laughter. "Article 2: change the television channel after enjoying any adult entertainment. I'll leave the specific wording to you."

"Got it, and thank you."

Giving the side of his hip a nudge with her own and his hand a last squeeze, she replied, "Uh huh. If you wanna put the movie in, I'll grab the munchkin and start the popcorn."

"Done deal," Lucifer said, leaning in for a quick kiss, having finished with wiping up the spill he'd left behind in their mad dash for the remote.

Chloe walked back to the kitchen calling out, "Wanna help me with the popcorn, Trix? And yes, you can steal some before we sit down."


Author's Footnote

If you'd like to offer comments or criticisms in a much more conversational way, please follow me on Twitter (pandorakiin) , Instagram (pandorakiin) or join the Discord server (link available in my Twitter and Insta bios!) I've recently begun to maintain! Please feel free to share the bejeezers out of this if you think it deserves to be seen by more and more people and don't forget to me!

The best way to keep up with new releases is to Follow to my User Profile (ShameTheRedRose) and individual works here on so they can be viewed on your profile alongside other works you consider worthy of being read!

If you're feeling charitable please leave a fav and a review for others to judge the work by!

I'd also like to invite fellow authors to begin posting links for their content at and to subscribe to r/LuciferFanFiction. Let's see if we can't give this forum a breath of new life!

Cheers, folks! Until the next Lucifix!