Okay, lovelies! I know that it took me forever to get an update up and I apologize for that. I have been having some serious writer's block with this chapter. No matter how many times I plot it out I can't find the words. So I have decided that since this chapter is going to be SUPPER long that I am going to get it out to you in parts.

This is the first part of Chapter Two! It is also my gift to all of you on my birthday. What better way to spend my birthday than writing stories for the fans who have come with me through this journey. (I couldn't think of one).

Enjoy and I will get the second part of this chapter out ASAP! ~I don't think my roommates would let me get away with it anyway. Haha!~

~BlainexKurtxLovex

It took a very long moment to realize that he was standing in front of Lulu's door. He knew it was late and that Lulu would probably be asleep, but he needed to see her. He had lost one princess today and he just wanted to make sure that the other two were safe and alive. He looked down and saw that he hadn't even changed out of his bloodstained Knight outfit. Lulu would probably lose it when she saw him.

The door was yanked open and Suzaku spared her a quick glance. She had been angry on her way down, but when she saw him standing there the words she had prepared to yell seemed to die in her throat. Suzaku could barely move let alone focus on the woman in front of him even if he had forced himself from Euphie's side to check on her. It was like he was swimming though oil and everything was moving slowly.

"Suzaku, what is it? What's wrong?" Lulu questioned. Suzaku couldn't answer her. The whole thing was still so fresh in his mind. Lulu stepped out onto the porch. "Why don't you come inside, Suzaku?"

He just nodded because he wasn't sure he could actually talk. It was extremely hard to stand when all he wanted to do was fall to his knees and scream his anguish into the sky. Lulu took a few steps forward and reached out to take his hand. Suzaku tore his eyes away from the ground to meet her gaze and found worry in her eyes. Lulu gasped at what she saw in his own eyes, silent despair and devastation. He knew that he still had dried tear tracks on his tan cheeks and that his normally bright eyes were red and puffy from crying.

"She's gone, Lulu," he whispered.

Lulu raised an eyebrow at him. "Who's gone, Suzaku?"

"Eu-Euphie…she's…Zero, he…"

Suzaku felt the tears pool in his eyes again and drip down his face. Lulu rushed forward and cradled his head in her free hand while she clutched the other tightly. He squeezed her hand back just as hard. He never wanted to let go of someone he cared about ever again. He may have already lost Euphie, but he would be damned if he lost Lulu and Nunnally as well.

It was at this moment that he realized this whole scene was nothing more than a memory. A memory of the day that changed everything between himself and Lulu. The day he gave up his love on Euphie, who was dead and gone, and gave it to Lulu instead. Only to have her betray him and for him to betray her in return. Everything came around full circle, he supposed. He might as well follow this memory until the very end. It wasn't like he was in control of what would happen anyway. Suzaku would just have to be an active participant till the very end.

"Come inside, Suzaku," the dream version of Lulu cooed. "I'll make you some tea and get you a change of clothes. I know you left a duffle around here somewhere."

Suzaku could only nod again and let Lulu lead him further into the clubhouse. He knew they passed the living room as well as the kitchen before she led him upstairs. He knew this part of the Ashford Academy Clubhouse better than the other members of the student council because he had spent most of his free time with Lulu and Nunnally before he became Euphie's Knight.

Lulu continued to pull Suzaku down the hall and into her room. She sat him down on the ottoman at the foot of her bed before she made her way to her closet. He assumed that was where his duffle was and he knew that she had kept it there so that the other members of the Student Council wouldn't find it and make assumptions about their relationship.

Lulu brought the clothes over to Suzaku and placed them down beside him. He didn't move or even look at her though. He had caught sight of his bloodstained clothes again and he couldn't focus on anything else. He realized that he still had Euphie's blood on his hands which made him realize that he really had lost Euphie. He had watched and done nothing as that bastard shot the woman he loved right in front of him.

"Why don't you put those on and put your suit in the hamper. I'll wash them tonight for you," Lulu suggested. Suzaku's head bobbed of its own volition. "I'm going to make you some tea and I'll be right back, okay?" As if it was the only gesture he could muster at the moment, he nodded.

Lulu didn't say anything else as she left him alone in her room to change. He listened to her walk down the hall to where Nunnally's room was located. She was probably checking to see if his knocking had woken her up. Suzaku felt awful about coming here so late. He knew how Lulu had Nunnally on a schedule so that she could be as healthy as her condition allowed and he had barged in at this late hour.

He would have come sooner, but he just couldn't bring himself to leave Euphie's body even after her eyes closed for the final time. Suzaku had tried to keep Euphie with him with promises of going to Ashford together and being a part of something normal. She had nodded and agreed even though she could probably feel the life leaving her.

Suzaku had been looking forward to working with Euphie to make the SAZ a place where the Japanese, his people, could live without being further subjugated to the Britannians, but Zero had taken that dream from him. Zero had taken the woman he loved from him and Suzaku would make sure he paid.

Geass. That was what had caused Euphie's bout of insanity according the short blonde-haired man that arrived right as Euphie died. He had said that Geass was what had gotten Euphie killed and that Zero wielded it. Zero was the one who changed Euphie into the murderess she would be forever known as. She would no longer be known as the kind and gentle princess that held hope for the future. Instead, Euphie would be known as the Murder Princess.

"This is all Zero's fault," Suzaku whispered.

There was a light knock on the door, but Suzaku didn't answer. The door opened and Lulu stepped into the room. He was sure he looked exactly the same as when Lulu left since he hadn't moved to even try and put on unsoiled clothes. He heard Lulu sigh as she stepped farther into the room and set the tea tray down on the end table before going into her connected bathroom.

Suzaku watched as she kneeled down in front of him, but he refused to react. He was still in shock at the fact that Euphie was gone. The woman who had brought so much light into his life and had granted him the greatest gift, was gone. How could he even begin to focus on anything, even the woman kneeling before him who shared her sister's beauty and grace?

He felt Lulu take his hand in hers gently before wiping the blood from his hands. Something so simple should have felt comforting, but instead it infuriated him. Lulu was wiping away the only thing Suzaku had left of Euphie! She was wiping away the only thing that still tied her to him! How dare she? "What are you doing?"

He pulled away from her and pushed at Lulu's shoulder in order get her away from him. In that second Suzaku knew, from the look of relief on her face, that he was lucky the blood was dried. If he had left a stain on Lulu's clothes she would have been beyond furious regardless of his state of mind. They both knew that blood wasn't exactly the easiest bodily fluid to get out of clothes and Lulu wouldn't want to have to replace her garment if she didn't have too.

Lulu took a moment to resituate herself on the floor so that she was again kneeling. She flipped her hair over her shoulder before meeting his angry eyes. "I could ask you the same thing, Suzaku. You haven't moved or changed your clothes since I left this room a little while ago. I don't even think you saw me come in until I tried, in vain it would seem, to clean you up."

Suzaku's anger diminished. He shouldn't be angry at Lulu when she was only trying to help. "I'm sorry, Lulu. I didn't mean too. It's just…even though it's her…I can't seem to…" Suzaku stopped when he realized that he was rambling. He took a deep breath and tried again. "It's one of the few things I have left of her and I don't think I'm ready to say goodbye just yet."

"I understand, Suzaku," Lulu replied calmly. "But, we need to clean you up. You don't want to wake up in the morning to find blood on your hands and I, personally, don't want it all over my bedsheets."

"I know. I know, Lulu. I just…"

"You still have your Knight pin, right?" Lulu questioned even though Suzaku knew she could plainly see it on his uniform. He hadn't had the heart to take it off. So he just nodded again. "Then you still have a part of her to hold on to. You were her Knight, Suzaku, and no one can take that time away from you."

Silence reigned between them from a moment as Suzaku thought about her words. She was right. No one could take away the fact that he had been Euphie's Knight. No one could take away the times he had spent by her side. He had been one of the people closest to her and that was something no one could deny. He clenched his eyes shut as fresh tears started to fill his eyes and stream down his face.

"I failed, Lulu! I couldn't protect her!" He pressed the heels of his bloody hands against his eyes. "Zero shot her right in front of me and I couldn't do anything to stop it…to stop him!"

"Suzaku…" Lulu tried.

"This is my punishment for falling in love with her, Lulu. I should have known that I could never be with her like that," Suzaku continued, "I'm an Eleven and she was a Britannian… a royal no less! I should never have confessed to her right before the ceremony. She hadn't given me an answer, but…I knew she felt the same. I could just feel it."

The tears were like waterfalls down his face and he couldn't seem to stop them. His heart was breaking…shattering into a thousand pieces as he told his best friend that he had been in love with her sister. He was a despicable human being and it had cost him the woman he loved. Hell, it could possibly cost him his best friend too.

"Suzaku, please…"

"She died because I wasn't able to save her…I wasn't able to protect her…"

"Enough!" Lulu screamed. She pulled his hands away from his eyes by his wrists, but Suzaku kept his eyes firmly closed. "Zero killed her, Suzaku. It wasn't because you couldn't protect her or because you loved her. It was because Zero shot her. Nothing you would have done could have changed what happened today, so please, stop blaming yourself. Euphie wouldn't want you to and neither do I."

"But…"

"NO!" Suzaku's eyes shot open and he met her gaze for the first time in a while. Her violet eyes were shining with tears. Her cheeks were red and she was shaking. "I can't watch you destroy yourself, Suzaku. I was there when your secret about your father's death was exposed and I didn't care. I watched as you tore yourself apart over it and…You are my best friend. So, you can't ask me to…god…."

Lulu released his wrists and he slowly lowered his arms to his knees. He watched as she wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to stop shaking.

"I can't watch you do this again…It breaks my heart to see one the one I love…."

Lulu stopped and a hand flew to her mouth. Suzaku's eyes were wide at her confession and he was positive he had misheard it. Lulu backed away from him as the tears finally spilled over. Suzaku was dazed, but he wasn't about to let her get away without explaining herself.

"What did you say?" Suzaku questioned. Lulu shook her head and made a break for the door. Suzaku was faster though. He was up off the ottoman and across the room before Lulu could even blink. Her back was facing him and her hand was on the doorknob, but Suzaku was holding the door shut. "Lulu, what did you say?"

"I never should have…" Lulu shook her head again. Her shoulders were shaking and her voice was strained. "Now wasn't the time to bring it up and…you, obviously, don't feel the same as I do. You love Euphie."

"Lulu, why didn't you say anything sooner?" Suzaku pressed.

If he was being honest, he was stunned. Suzaku was completely surprised by this turn of events and even watching it a second time, he still was. He had never expected her confession so soon after Euphie's death. He had never expected to find that he had feelings for his best friend. Suzaku never would have been able to fathom that she would feel the same.

Lulu took a deep breath and turned around to face him. Her eyes were red and puffy just like his. Suzaku thought that if anyone saw them now they would be a sad pair to behold. "By the time I got up the determination to tell you it was too late. You were already Euphie's Knight and I could tell you were in love her long before even you knew."

"You should have said something, Lulu."

"It wouldn't have made a difference. It was too late for us then and it's too late for us now, Suzaku." Lulu looked away from him and let out a sigh of defeat. "Get cleaned up, changed, and go to bed. I'll sleep on the couch tonight or with Nunnally."

Suzaku recalled that he hadn't known what he was going to do. Lulu looked like she couldn't take anymore tonight, but he had known that he couldn't let her leave either. Lulu had made a declaration and deep down he had always had feelings for her. He had buried them deep after he had found her in Shinjuku only to wake to think she might have ended up dead and then finding her again at Ashford.

He also knew that he hadn't wanted to cause her any trouble since both her and Nunnally were still in hiding. Suzaku hadn't wanted to jeopardize the life the siblings had made for themselves if he could help it and yet Lulu had asked Milly if he could be on the Student Council. Lulu had made it possible for him to find a safe place on campus regardless of how it would affect her.

Lulu saved him over and over.

It was in this moment that Suzaku had realized that he truly did love her. He had loved Euphie too and there wasn't anything that could change it or make those feelings disappear, but Lulu had been his first love. She had been his everything until they had been separated and here she was now. She was standing in front of him with the weight of her confession between them and all he wanted was to wrap her up and hold her close to his heart.

Suzaku may have lost his princess that night, but he had gained another. He may have thought that the world had ended when he arrived earlier tonight, but the words Lulu had spoken had changed everything. Suzaku wouldn't let her slip through his fingers like he had with Euphie. Suzaku made a silent vow to love and protect Lulu until he couldn't anymore.

But why was it that this memory was invading his dreams? What was it about this specific moment in their history that was important? What was happening out in the waking world that could be affecting what was happening here in his subconscious?

Suzaku didn't know, but he also knew that the memory was far from being finished. He knew that he wouldn't be waking any time soon. Suzaku would be forced to relive the events of that night even if he wanted to wake up and make sure that Lulu was lying next to him.

Dream Suzaku leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Lulu's forehead. He felt her freeze beneath him and he felt a slender hand pressing against his chest. It was gentle. It was as if she was trying to keep him at bay, but not actually trying to keep him away at the same time.

"What are you doing?" Lulu questioned. Suzaku could see that she was shaking harder now. He didn't think it was because she was afraid of him, at least, he hoped not. She must know that he would never do anything to hurt her. "You just lost, Euphie. You should just go to bed and rest. You don't need any more confusion tonight, Suzaku."

"What's confusing about wanting to answer your confession, Lulu?" Suzaku inquired. He raised a hand to cup her cheek and to wipe a falling tear from her beautiful eyes. "I've loved you since we were kids."

Lulu met his gaze and raised a skeptical eyebrow. Even now, when she was prepared to retaliate, Suzaku couldn't help but find her lovely. She was always so calculating and precise in everything she did. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought Lulu was Zero.

They were both highly intelligent and shared a hatred for Britannia. They could both inspire people and make miracles happen. Their miracles were completely different, however. Zero could make anything seem flawless on the battlefield and read a situation as if it was a simple move on a chessboard. Lulu could make anything happen when it came to school protects or things that had to do with Nunnally. Their lives were just too different for Suzaku to even think that they were one in the same, but there was always this itch at the back of his brain that they were the same.

Suzaku should have followed that itch a lot earlier. Then so many people could have been saved. He knew he couldn't change the past or the course of the dream, but he desired to so badly. This moment had solidified everything that was wrong about the two of them being together, and yet…he wouldn't change it. He had gotten Lulu and Rhiannon out of a screwed-up relationship. They were more important than a past he couldn't change.

Well, there is the first part of Chapter Two. I promise that I will not do this for future chapters unless absolutely warranted.

Thank you everyone for commenting, favoriting, and following this story as well as the previous installments. They are the best presents I could receive.

Till next time,

~BlainexKurtxLovex