Part 4

Ozpin pulled into Qrow's parking lot and parked, then sat back in his car. Oscar was home and would be fine. But Ozpin could only remember Qrow being there after Salem had spent a day following him around campus. He wanted to do the same. He doubted he was equipped to do so, but Qrow deserved to have someone there for him after the brightness he'd brought into Ozpin's life.

So with a heavy sigh, Ozpin got out and tapped the keypad at the door to ring Qrow.

"Yeah, whoizzit?" came the staticy voice.

"Hello, Qrow," he replied.

"Ozpin?"

"You'll pardon the unannounced visit, I hope," Ozpin said lightly. "But I have brought delicacies to help assuage any inconveniences you might suffer from my arrival?"

"Ergh, it's too damn early for your vocabulary. Come one up."

There was a buzz and Ozpin entered and started the arduous climb up to the third floor where Qrow's apartment was located. Normally when he made this climb, it was helping Qrow with all the children that could gather, and Oscar was usually there to help him if needed. Ozpin doubted anyone noticed the extra support.

Then, to Ozpin's surprise, Qrow met him on the first landing and offered an arm, taking Ozpin's basket of baked goods on the other hand. "Thank you," he said softly.

"You made the effort to get here," Qrow replied. "I can at least help you up."

Qrow's apartment was always comfortably lived in, to Ozpin's eyes, whereas his was always pristine like a magazine. He envied the touches that Qrow had. A stack of mail on a counter or end table in various states of opening and being dealt with, a phone charging on the counter with plates in the sink that hadn't been cleaned yet. All signs that someone lived. Ozpin was too conditioned to keep everything neat and clean if someone ever came over. (No one ever had, until he'd moved here, and Qrow and his nieces were his most frequent guests…) Qrow brought the basket to the kitchen, set it down and opened the dishwasher to pull out some clean dishes to pull out the loaf of bread that Ozpin had baked that morning.

"I apologize for arriving on a weekend," Ozpin stated, carefully sitting in the armchair that Qrow always set him to. "But I thought you might need a friend after this week."

Indeed, after Qrow's phone call, every day he had looked more and more ragged as Yang looked more and more furious and Ruby looked more and more strained.

"Ah, yeah that would be obvious," Qrow muttered, rubbing at the dark circles under his eyes. "Sorry, did a double shift yesterday and I'm still catching up on sleep."

"Quite alright," Ozpin said. "You once just sat and let me talk. It helped. I offer the same. We can either exchange barbs and fling sharpened wit, or you can talk. Whatever you need, let me know."

Qrow stopped what he was doing and turned to look at Ozpin. There was a sideways smile. "You know, after I did that for you, I was talking to my sponsor and he mentioned that I might have pushed too far. That I kinda forced you to talk when you weren't ready. Good to know I didn't mess up that bad."

Ozpin gave a small smile. "I hadn't spoken to anyone about my past since coming here. Having to explain everything to the dean and then to my department was more exhausting and generated more shame that I had thought it would. You didn't require an explanation, you merely offered empathy and understanding. It made all the difference in the world. Having a choice always matters."

And it did matter. Empathy and understanding. The dean hadn't understood the trauma or abuse, but had understood that a restraining order was in effect and the legalities involved. His department was far more mixed. There was sympathy a plenty, but the tendency of platitudes. The sort of words that would fit most situations: "everyone has skeletons in the closet" or "life always has challenges" that showed that there wasn't understanding, and, no matter how unintentional, normalized what he and Oscar had gone through.

It had taken a long time for Ozpin to realize that his life wasn't normal. To have someone offer such platitudes like what he and Oscar had survived was just a normal part of life cut Ozpin to shreds every time. It was why he never spoke of it. He never wanted to face that.

But Qrow did understand. He spoke more freely of his own traumas, though detail was always sparing, and he didn't force Ozpin to discuss it. Merely asked what Ozpin needed. If he hadn't already been exhausted and drained, he might have leaked some tears over such generosity.

How could he not offer the same?

"You know, this isn't the first time you've waxed philosophically about choice," Qrow said, arranging the cookies on a new plate.

"I am a philosophy professor," Ozpin offered dryly.

Qrow barked out a laugh and set a kettle on the stove, then put a can of soda in the freezer.

"So, you're here for whatever I need?"

"Yes," Ozpin replied.

"Unfortunately what I need is something I can't have."

"Alcohol?" Ozpin said sadly.

Qrow nodded, leaning against the fridge. "I can taste it, I need it so bad. Hell, I can smell it. I know the buzz and I know that if I blackout, that means I won't be aware of everything going on. And right now, that's very tempting."

Ozpin nodded. "Times of duress would generate carvings of comforts."

"That would be an understatement." The kettle went off and Qrow pulled out the soda from the freezer and poured the kettle into a mug. He stepped back to the living room and sat by Ozpin at the end of the couch. He handed a mug of - Ozpin sniffed - hot chocolate, over and opened his soda.

"I take it that your new comfort food of choice is ice-cold soda?"

"Carbonation doesn't even come close to the proper burn of alcohol," Qrow replied. "But club soda is about as close as I'm willing to get."

Ozpin nodded and allowed himself to savor the hot chocolate. Mmmmm, that even tasted like the brand he was fond of.

Qrow was leaning forward, elbows on his knees, staring at his can. "You know, I don't think I've ever had to really explain my sister to anyone after Clover."

"Your sponsor?"

He nodded. "Everyone else who was important was there when all that shit went down. They understood. Clover needed me to explain, but he also had my friends there to fill in gaps."

"You don't have to," Ozpin said softly. "Today is about what you need. If you don't want to bring up such dark memories, that's understandable."

"Yeah, but Yang's going to need to be told someday," Qrow leaned back and sipped his soda. "I suppose this can be a dry run. She isn't anywhere close to mature enough for it."

Ozpin merely offered his attention, let Qrow stare at his soda in contemplation, and waited.

"You may have picked up that Raven and I didn't grow up in the best of homes."

"You've mentioned."

Qrow nodded. "Con artists. We were born and raised as con-artists. The occasional burglary if we weren't good enough. But a good con? Easy as breathing. We knew how to play up any emotion needed, what angle to sell, how to weasel money out of everyone and anyone. Never went to school, everything we needed our parents taught us. Enough math to fake numbers on the stock market and how to estimate the amount we'd con people out of, enough literacy to make fake legal documents, a whole lot of acting and manipulation. Our final exam was conning our way into college."

"Given you're not in jail either, I'd assume you didn't stay in that way of life." Ozpin watched. Because Qrow was always unerringly honest about his flaws, and Ozpin couldn't imagine him not alluding to it in some way.

"I wasn't cut out for it as much as Raven," Qrow replied. "I've always been cursed with bad luck. If anything ever went wrong on a con, it could always be traced back to me. I paid for those errors. Every time."

Salem flashed across Ozpin's mind and he winced. "I understand," he said heavily.

"Yeah. You do." Qrow looked to him and offered his first real smile. "Tai can get it, or at least most of it, but there are pieces…"

Ozpin nodded. "Unless one was there, it is unfathomable."

Qrow's smile widened. "Yup. That's why you get it. Maybe not the flavor of every piece, but you get it. Clover doesn't get that level of messed up either, but he's worked with enough people like me to grasp the pieces." He took a large gulp of his soda. "Anyway, in college we met Tai and Summer. Best thing to ever happen to us."

Ozpin nodded.

"Life kept going, and Raven and Tai got close, especially with Summer and I egging them on. We all got our damn degrees and instead of going out to con the world, I just went out and got a regular job. It may not have paid as much as a con, but it was… easier. Less pressure, less stress. Tai and Raven settled. Yang was born."

Qrow's smile was rueful and Ozpin reached out to put a hand on Qrow's knee in reassurance.

"Only what you need to say," he repeated softly. "You need go no further, you can stop, you can escort me out, whatever you need."

Qrow nodded and was silent for a while. Ozpin watched eyes water, and simply squeezed.

"Raven left. I kinda saw it coming."

"Oh?"

"We suddenly had a bundle of love that needed us. Raven couldn't reconcile being a parent to Yang, not with what we knew of how to live." Qrow shook his head. "Raven couldn't trust feelings. We'd learned how to fake them so well, she couldn't believe that Tai wanted to be with her, or that Yang would love her, or that any of it was real. She didn't know how to raise Yang like an actual mother. So she left."

Ozpin nodded. "That would have been devastating."

"It was. Tai was a mess. Summer had to look after him while I went hunting for Raven. Took almost a year, but I knew all her tricks."

"You found her." It wasn't a question. It was dread.

"Yeah," Qrow said, still staring into memories. "She was with a girl. Vernal. Good kid, if rough around the edges like the two of us. Raven looked happy with her, like she had with Tai."

Qrow took another gulp of his soda. His jaw was tense and strained. Ozpin offered another encouraging squeeze of the knee.

"I didn't realize it at first. I was just pissed at her and trying to get her to come back home. Vernal was thrown for a loop that Raven had a daughter. It was a big, three-way argument." Qrow let out a heavy sigh and let his head fall back on the couch. "I spent six months there. Kept Tai and Summer up to date. Tai wasn't sure he really wanted Raven back anymore, but he was worried more about Yang and her not having a mother. I was just pissed that she'd left, even though I understood that she got gunshy. Hell, I got gunshy too, but I stuck around because, well, Yang. You don't abandon family. That was the one thing Raven and I understood growing up, was that we only had each other. That she up and left hurt and that she left her own daughter was worse. Me? I'm a bad-luck disaster, but I could take care of myself. Yang?" Qrow let out an angry breath and then another. "Vernal was pissed that Raven hadn't mentioned any of this. Raven was pissed I'd shown up and dragged up all the 'baggage' as she termed it."

Ozpin shook his head sadly.

"I stayed for a while trying to talk sense into her. But… I also saw that she was happy. Granted, she'd been happy with Tai as well, but Vernal had an edge to her that Raven connected to. An edge that Tai and Summer didn't have. An edge that I was losing. Because we were a family."

Letting out a sigh, Ozpin shook his head. "Having a family doesn't lose one's edge. Merely diverts it to protection." Ozpin himself knew that he would do anything to protect Oscar. Including being homeless for almost a month, moving across country, starting fresh, and the long legal battle of winning sole custody and getting a restraining order.

"I've learned that," Qrow said. "Anyway, what I had initially thought was that Raven was doing a con. After all, she had left, she would have reverted back to what we knew best. But the longer I was there, the happier she was, I started to doubt myself. I thought it wasn't a con, it was Raven finding a different path after getting cold feet. I started to believe that she and Vernal were good together."

"But it was a con?"

"Oh yeah." Qrow knocked back another gulp of soda. "What I didn't realize was that Raven was also extending the con to me. She was playing me. After that big fight, she started using me to get further and further into Vernal's good graces. 'Poor me, I'm so scared I left my daughter, I'm so scared of commitment, if only it was with the right person.' Shit like that.

"And I didn't recognize it because we never conned each other. That was the rule."

"She betrayed your trust."

"Pshh. Yeah, that's putting it mildly." Qrow looked directly at Ozpin. "Imagine my surprise when Vernal wound up dead."

Ozpin went cold.

"My sister had wound her way into Vernal's good graces, played trusting and needy and understanding, and validating, then inherited everything with Vernal's death, decrying that she didn't deserve it and would give it to charity."

"Oh, Qrow."

"I saw it for what it was. Taught the cops all the tricks she'd have likely used. And she was arrested."

"And now she's up for parole."

"Yup." Qrow looked coldly at his soda. "Remeber, con-artist. It would be child's play to be the good girl in prison, play at sympathy about missing her daughter, and come up early. It happened a few years ago. Tai and I had to get Vernal's family and friends to come up and bring up all this shit to make sure her parole was denied. And now we have to do it all over again."

No wonder Qrow wanted to get blackout drunk. That betrayal by family, murder instead of theft, running away from her own daughter.

So much pain.

Scars on the soul indeed.

Ozpin squeezed Qrow's knee again and finally leaned back to ease the pain of his lower back.

"Did I mention enough literacy to fake legal documents? I had to fight to get all Vernal's inheritance back to her family. Raven didn't deserve it and I didn't want it. Tai didn't want Yang to inherit that blood money either."

A good stiff drink sounded ideal but that wasn't an option. "I may be presuming too much, but I think some proper screaming and vulgarity might help you purge some of the excessive emotional storm you're dealing with right now."

Qrow gave a flat look. "Neighbors," he retorted.

So Ozpin wrestled getting up, went to the kitchen, and took the plate of cookies that Qrow had left there and headed to the door, and offered a dark smile. "I'm going to bribe some neighbors that you need to vent and to not make a fuss about it. If you need different languages for some of what you need to say, I do know some particularly good profanities that would be most apropos to this situation. I'll be right back."

Behind him he heard a murmured, "I'll be damned."


"A play…?" Ruby whined, glancing next to the desk next to her and her year-long partner.

"Yes, a play," Weiss said, nodding stoutly. "It's clearly the best way to meet all the objectives of the project. I am, of course, used to performing in front of people, so I suppose I'll have to be the lead."

"You just want all the attention."

"I do not," she sniffed, crossing her arms. "I'll have you know I've performed at charity events for Father."

"You know, that doesn't exactly make you more relatable," Ruby said.

"Well! I can't help you being uncultured."

And that was when the thought bloomed in her head, the brightest of ideas and perhaps the best way to put Weiss in her place. She straightened in her chair and turned to face her fully. "I don't think I'm uncultured," she said brightly. "I have a college professor as a friend. He and Uncle Qrow are probably outside right now waiting for us."

"Oh, please, as if."

"Well, you can come meet him if you want," Ruby said brightly. "That is, if you're not scared."

"Hmph! I'm not scared of anything," Weiss sniffed.

Gotcha. Ruby was happy as a clam for the rest of the class, knowing that Professor Ozpin would definitely put Weiss in her place, give her a sniff of respect for Ruby, and probably a good week's worth of teasing. It was the perfect plan!

When the school day ended, Ruby waited at the doors, Yang with her and Blake texting furiously on her phone and making a face. "Sorry," she said, looking up. "I have to go. My boyfriend's waiting for me."

"Hey, why not have him come with us?" Yang asked.

Blake shook her head. "He doesn't like kids," she said.

Ruby blinked. "But you're a kid."

Blake smiled. "He thinks I'm mature."

"Ouch," Yang said, wincing. "What a high opinion of the rest of us. You should definitely bring him over some time. We'll show him how 'mature' we all are."

Blake laughed gently, waving as she moved down the steps and to the far side of the buses.

"Hey guys," Oscar said, joining the group. His shoulders were slumped again. Uh-oh.

"Were Jaune and Winchester bothering you again?" she asked.

Oscar didn't say anything, just shook his head.

"Okay," Weiss said by way of introduction. "Let's see if you really know a college professor."

"Hi, Weiss," Ruby said brightly, happy at the thought of showing her up for even five minutes. "Let's go everyone!"

As predicted, there were Uncle Qrow and Professor Ozpin, one in the handicapped spot and the other next to it. Uncle Qrow was still sitting on the hood of his car, even in the early winter air.

"What is he doing?" Weiss asked, aghast.

"Keeping warm," Uncle Qrow said without missing a beat, knocking on the hood of his car. "Engine's still warm."

"That makes no sense," Weiss said, crossing her arms. "Wouldn't it be easier to stay in the car after the heater's been on?"

Uncle Qrow snorted. "You're assuming this clunker has a working heater," he said, sliding off the hood of the car. "Who's the wet blanket, pipsqueak?"

"Uncle Qrow, this is Weiss. Weiss, this is Uncle Qrow, the coolest uncle to ever exist."

"Nice to meet the girl who keeps bullying my niece."

"I do not-!"

"Not the way she tells it, princess," Uncle Qrow said. "You joining the party?"

"I'm here to see the supposed professor that Ruby knows," Weiss said.

"Oh, that would be me," Professor Ozpin said, arm around Oscar's shoulders. He shifted his weight and extended a gloved hand. "Pleasure to meet you. I can see the stark resemblance to your sister Winter. I'm Professor Ozpin Ozma."

And then the most beautiful thing happened:

Weiss was speechless.

Her eyes were wide, her mouth parted in an oh, and stood stock still. Ruby quickly grabbed her phone to take a picture. Oh, this was delicious.

"D-D-D-Doctor Ozma!" she very nearly shouted. She covered her mouth at her volume. "Sir! I mean, professor! I mean…!"

Yang leaned in to Ruby. "This is amazing," she whispered. "I didn't think she could be flustered."

Weiss's white-blond head spun around. "You didn't tell me you knew an ivy league professor!" she hissed.

And Ruby, just for fun, decided to play dumb: tilting her head and asking: "What do you mean by ivy league?"

The strangled noise that came out of Weiss' throat was music to Ruby's ears. "That's Dr. Ozpin Ozma!" she said, waving an accusatory finger. "He's the head of philosophy at Berkeley! He's published books and given lectures all around the world! What is he doing here?"

"Picking up my son," Professor Ozpin said smoothly. "And I should offer one small correction to your recitation: former head of philosophy."

"You left? Why?"

Professor Ozpin smiled and tapped his bad leg with his cane. "A lot happened," he said smoothly, "and I wasn't really happy there." Oscar looked down, something Ruby noticed he did a lot whenever the professor referenced the past. "I work at Beacon now."

"Beacon?" Weiss said. "A trashy state school?"

"Oh, hardly 'trashy,' Miss Schnee," he said, and Ruby quickly covered her mouth. She knew that tone. "Education of any form is valuable and not to be taken for granted. Berkely does bring excellent technical education, yes, but there are entire fields that they don't touch in the day-to-day grind: professionalism, effort, encouragement, understanding the human condition. Beacon, however, does value those critical aspects. The students there understand the value of the money they are putting into their education, and they make whatever they can of it, rather than bragging about their admission and thinking they no longer need to apply themselves. It's always best to work where one is needed, is it not? Where one can do the most good? Good, I feel I must remark, is not equivalent to wealth, though I know from personal experience that that is the only measure your father is interested in - and for that I am deeply sorry; because it means there are entire swaths of the world he knows nothing about."

Weiss was clearly beside herself, torn between respect for a man of apparent renown (Ruby made a note to ask questions) and the reactionary need to defend her family.

"Tell me, how is Miss Winter Schnee?" Ozpin asked. "I understand she chose to go to Atlas Securities for work."

Weiss squeaked.

Ruby got it all on video.


"... Little Red Riding Hood?" Weiss asked. "What are we, kindergarteners?"

"No," Ruby said, still pleased with herself. "This will be a modern interpretation. I can wear my red hoodie, Blake can be the big bad wolf, and Yang can be the hunter who swoops in and saves the day!"

"And what would I be?"

"The narrator!"

"What?"

"Wow, chill," Yang said. "It's not the end of the world."

"I have the most experience in performing! I should be the lead!"

Yang pursed her lips, getting irritated again. It was, like, her default mood or something. They sat around the coffee table at Professor Ozpin's house, Oscar in his room doing homework and the professor getting ready for the end of the semester or something. Yang got the impression he didn't really have time to look after a bunch of girls, and she was suspicious on why he was doing it - her current bet with herself was that he was keeping her away from Uncle Qrow so she would try to get answers out of him. That irritated her, and she tried to glare daggers down the hall where his office was. She put her attention back on Weiss. "Besides," she added. "With all your 'experience' it only makes sense that you'd be the narrator. You'd be reading the most lines and we'd be pantomiming the motions give or take a line or too, that lines up with the rubric, doesn't it?"

"I… suppose," Weiss said, sitting back down. She reached over and took another sugar cookie.

"The professor makes the best cookies," Ruby said, taking two.

"Don't get distracted," Weiss huffed. "How do we stage it? What kind of audience will we have?"

"Weiss, it's a play, a ten minute skit for a teacher."

"That doesn't mean we should do any less than our best," she sniffed, putting her hands on her hips. "Maybe if the narration was done via song, at least then the teacher could appreciate the professionalism of the skit," she used the word like a curse.

"Gee," Yang said, head in her hand, "Why don't we get a butler to do the stage lighting, too?"

Weiss shook her head. "No, I don't want to put more pressure on Klein."

Ruby choked on her water bottle, and Yang was equally floored. "You mean you actually have a butler?"

Weiss blinked at them, equally surprised. "No, I do not," she said vehemently. "Klein's my parents' personal assistant."

"Oh, my god, she has a butler."

"No…"

"Weiss has a butler! Oscar! You won't believe it! Weiss has a butler! She really is a princess!"

Yang looked up to see Oscar come in with a new plate of cookies, eyes wide and blinking. "Uh… what?" he asked.

"Weiss has-"

"Don't say another word," Weiss hissed, and her face was bright pink, and Yang couldn't help but laugh at the flustered look she had. It was nice to see her off her high horse, so she of course decided to lean into it.

"You have to have us over to your house!" she said. "I bet it's a mansion! Do you have maids, too? Do they come and clean the house and cook your meals? Would your dad even let a pair of 'plebeians' like us over?"

"Oooooh, do you have a driver? Does a limo come and pick you up? I never paid attention…"

"Would you both just shut up!" Weiss shouted, lifting herself to her knees again and slamming her hands on the coffee table, rattling the new plate of cookies and making Oscar freeze in place. Yang and Ruby stopped, eyes wide, and Weiss kept shouting. "You two have no idea what my life is like! You both are so… so… stupid!" She pushed herself to her feet and stormed out of the living room, down the hall and Yang and the others listened to the ruffling of coats and the slam of a door.

The sisters blinked, looking at each other. "... I think we went too far," Ruby said in a small voice.

"Uh, yeah…"

"Should we go talk to her?"

"Yeah," Yang said, getting to her feet. Ruby did the same, and they moved to the front door and their coats. Neither of them noticed Oscar was still frozen in place, instead braving the cold air and seeing Weiss standing at the end of the driveway. Ruby darted forward first, Yang letting her sister take the lead - she was better at this kind of stuff usually. It was her slower pace that made her realize that Weiss' cheeks were pink, and yeah, that was because it was cold, but there was a shine to them, too. Ooooh, there was too far and there was too far. She winced.

"Weiss?"

"Go away," she muttered, but there wasn't any bite to it.

"Weiss, we're really sorry."

"No, really, we went too far," Ruby was staring down at her feet. "Um, we don't really know what line we crossed but we'd like to go back over the line. Errrr, back to the side we shouldn't have crossed… which means crossing the line again…. Uhhh, I think I lost the metaphor here."

There was a tapping of a cane and Yang turned to see Professor Ozpin in his overcoat limping toward them. "Miss Xiao Long, Miss Rose, please head inside. Oscar needs some help with his homework."

"But we need to apolog-"

"Please," Ozpin said gently.

Yang frowned. His gentle tone was like his super-power or something. Whenever he said something that softly with that understanding look, both Ruby and Yang just sorta... nodded and agreed.


Ozpin had come out of his office when he heard the shouting, spoke softly to Oscar to realize that teasing had gone too far, and grabbed his coat to head outside. Oscar was going to need reassurance and care, but Oscar was secure that Ozpin would always be there for him. It was why Ozpin had given his unbalanced hug and headed out to the girls.

They were at the end of the driveway, and it was clear Weiss wasn't going to listen to Ruby or Yang apologize for something they didn't understand. So he'd gently ushered Qrow's nieces inside so he could talk to the Schnee heiress.

"I don't want to talk to anyone," Weiss hissed. "Just leave me alone."

Ozpin merely stood beside her, looking at the salted street and the piles of snow at the sides of the road, thinking.

The hardest part of being a teacher was that one was a mandated reporter. This was more important in public schools, but college freshmen could also be seventeen. It was just that professors didn't usually have to deal with it since the students were already away from whatever the issue was.

But after escaping Salem, well, Ozpin had come to know the Department of Children and Families very well, along with custody laws, paternal rights compared to maternal rights, the list went on and on. Calling DCF for investigations of physical or sexual abuse, neglect, those were things DCF could handle. There was physical evidence, scars, bruises, starvation, hospital records, all very clear admissible evidence.

Emotional and mental abuse were still viewed as abuse, but almost impossible to provide evidence of.

There was one thing Ozpin was certain of when he had Winter Schnee, age nineteen, in his class. Winter was emotionally and mentally abused. But being away was allowing her to recover. He had only had her for one class, but he made a point of checking on her when he saw her on campus, wandered by any of her classes if he knew them, and offering the tiny couch in his office if she needed a mentor. This had been before Ozpin had really realized what was happening with Salem, but he had felt that Winter was someone who needed a mentor, so he'd offered.

Looking at how Weiss spoke so glowingly of him, it was clear he'd made some sort of impression on Winter.

So he watched a car drive by, glanced at Weiss at his side. How to approach. Weiss didn't have the opportunity to be away from the family in order to heal. She had to go home to it every day. Healing was going to take longer.

So he took a breath, pushed up his glasses, and said, "I had the occasion to meet the illustrious Jaques Schnee only once in my life. That was at your sister's graduation."

"Whitley and I weren't allowed to come," Weiss said softly. "It was May and we were still in school. Dad said that Mom needed to stay home to look after us."

"That, sadly, doesn't surprise me."

"He came home furious."

"No doubt," Ozpin replied. "Your sister informed him that she wouldn't be returning to the family business and staying on the West Coast to join Atlas Securities. Your father didn't take the news well."

"No," Weiss said softly.

There had been a lot of screaming and shouting before Ozpin had been able to shuffle them away from the other celebrating graduates. He got them to one of the classroom buildings before something Winter had said and turned Jaques to Ozpin to accuse him of putting fool ideas into Winter's head.

"Needless to say, I don't care much for your father."

Weiss turned, the air of offense around her like a shield. "My family is one of the-"

Ozpin raised a hand. "Your father, Weiss. I don't care for your father. If your sister is any indication, you have a great deal of strength in your family that is admirable." Ozpin offered his own pained smile. "Indeed, I admire Winter greatly for having the strength to choose her own path."

Weiss's offense petered out, and she just started crying.

Ozpin gently put a hand on her shoulder. She was going to need to let it all out. After all, she was like Winter in that regard. And, like Qrow's nieces, she was still a child.

It took a while, and Ozpin could feel his bad leg getting more and more stiff, but as Weiss settled, he gave her shoulder a squeeze. "I have had to explain, both to my son, and to those two young ladies in there, that we all come from different experiences. No two people, even in the same family, have the same experiences in life. Therefore, it is our job as people to offer understanding. There are unforgivable things, and forgivable things. There are shades in between where everyone must find their moral compass. That is a matter of how each person chooses what is forgivable and unforgivable. And those choices can change as we age and grow. Life, after all, always moves and changes. Change can be scary, but that is another choice."

Weiss gave a sniff. "Are you talking about Winter or my dad?"

Ozpin turned and offered a warm smile. "Neither." He turned back. "Let's get you inside and warmed up. I believe there are two young ladies who understood that they made a mistake and want to apologize."

"Fine."


Qrow was slowly coming to the conclusion that eighty percent of his time was spent in the "Fuck My Life" category of suck. He'd been forced to pull another double shift to have the time off to put on a worn pair of slacks and the only collared shirt and tie he owned to meet with the family. Not his family, he and Raven had sworn them off when they were seventeen, but the family.

Freia, Amber, little Penny and her father Dr. Poledina. She was bigger now, right about Ruby's age, and she didn't understand why everyone was so sullen to get together. Qrow leveled a look at her and glanced at Amber. "Should she be here?" he asked.

"Yes," Amber said firmly. "She deserves to be here. She's old enough to understand why she never knew her aunt."

Qrow winced, thinking about Yang and adding that to the FML category.

"I already know the story," Penny said. "Auntie Vernal got involved with a bad person, and the bad person took her money and killed her. You got her money back and gave it to us."

Flat gaze at Amber. "Left a few story details out," he said slowly.

Amber nodded, didn't even falter. "It's enough to understand," she said. "We all love Vernal."

Qrow took a deep breath in through his nose. "Okay, then. I finally got a letter saying when the parole board would meet with us, and since the world hates playing fair they set it for the fourteenth."

Freia looked up. "Valentine's Day?" she asked.

"Yeah," Qrow said, nodding. "Nine a.m."

"I'll miss school, then," Penny said.

"Don't you worry," Poledina said, patting her daughter's hand. "We'll let the school secretaries know well in advance."

Qrow looked to Amber. "You sure that's a good idea?" he asked. "Raven will be there."

Amber nodded, holding her daughter's other hand. Could hardly notice the facial scars anymore. "She's ready."

Qrow snorted, not out of malice but because the Poledina family was so much stronger than him. "Still haven't figured out if Yang's ready," he said, leaning back on the couch, the cloth of the slip cover folding and crimping along his back. "You all holding up okay?"

"Yes," Amber said. "This is just part of the process."

Qrow nodded, not able to really do anything else. He stood, and the women did the same, Qrow taking each of their hands and shaking Poledina's from his wheelchair. At least it wasn't a triple homicide, he reminded himself, that had to count for something - scars and wheelchairs notwithstanding. God he needed a drink.

He sent Clover a text - he'd started doing that almost daily, reminding himself of his five year coin and how far he'd come. He needed to keep it together, but seeing the family… He could still remember the call from the police, seeing the Poledina's in the hospital and hearing that one would never walk again and one would be horribly scarred. It sucked and sucked bad, the biggest entry in his FML category of suck, and that was when the drinking had gone from a problem to something much worse. He didn't like thinking about that time in his life, and he was pissed that Raven had applied for parole so early and that the board was actually considering it.

Settling into his junker he drove to the school to pick up the girls. Oz had been missing for weeks - something about Wintersession or some such - and he'd all but disappeared from his handicap spot, Oscar now taking the bus just as often as he came with Ruby and Yang.

Qrow parked and leaned on the steering wheel, thinking about his old flask and the weight of it in his hand and how easy it would be to just have one nip to take the edge off. Grunting, he shook his head and grabbed his phone. Games. Playing games would help. The girls would help, too, they were a great distraction. He forced himself to get lost in the world of connecting dots and tossing little circles on a screen, angling shots and predicting how new layers would fall. Mindless puzzle games to dig into part of his brain and calm it down. It was dull, but it made him dull, too, and he needed the numbness for a little while.

The bell rang, finally, and he got out of the car and into the cold, red scarf wrapped around his neck and halfway up his face as the swell of tweens flooded out the doors and onto the buses. The new girl was with them, Schnee or something. No Blake for Yang to moon over, and no Oscar, meaning he was on a bus.

"Uncle Qrooooow!" Ruby pounced on him and finally, finally, he could put away the FML category of suck. "We've decided! We're gonna have a sleepover this weekend!"

Time for the disaffected cool uncle. He offered a flat, "That's nice," with a condescending smirk.

"Oh, don't even!" Yang said. Some of her energy was starting to come back, and hey, she was finally talking to him now. "Not when you're the one who suggested it!"

Qrow blinked. "I did?"

"See? He's an old man! You totally said the four of us should have a sleepover!"

And then he smelled the game, and instead of being amused he was annoyed. "Listen," he said, "you are not going to convince me I said yes to a sleepover and then use that to convince Tai to have one. Especially with all the quarter/year end bull he has to deal with on top of everything else. It's a no."

The girls seemed to deflate, all three looking at each other and then looking down.

Qrow straightened. "Whose idea was this?" he asked, voice full of authority.

"... Mine," Yang said, and she was sullen and pouting in a way that looked just like Raven and Qrow Could. Not. Deal. With this right now.

Growling to himself, he opened the driver's seat. "Okay, show's over. Let's go," he said, suddenly so tired.

The girls piled in and Qrow drove not to his apartment but to Tai's place. The last thing he needed was his apartment. Tai's place was more comfortable, and he needed as many good feelings as he could before heading off to shift. The girls seemed to sense his mood, and went to Ruby's bedroom to work, closing the door behind them. Qrow pulled out his phone and started to send Clover another text when he realized he'd sent seven already over the course of the day.

Sponsor or not, there were limits. Sighing, Qrow plopped onto the couch and turned on the TV for background noise, scrolling through his contacts for options. It was a pitifully short list, most of them from work and none of them really knew…

Oz…? But he was in wintersession and up to his ears in work and…

He grunted. That kind of isolationist thinking led to drinking. He needed to reach out before he lost his damn mind.

Hey, he wrote. How's the Wintersession thing?

Hello. I'm surprised to hear from you. Are you alright?

Just saying hi.

More likely you are reaching out for distraction. How may I be of service?

Qrow looked up to the ceiling, wondering when he'd gotten so lucky to have a friend like Oz.

Found out when the parole board is meeting. Valentine's Day. Fuck my life.

… I'd rather not, thank you.

That earned a chuckle from Qrow, a real chuckle.

Don't tell me you don't have the stamina for something like that, he teased, hooking an ankle over his knee.

Now that would be a philosophical question for the ages: is it possible to have intercourse with an entire life? Would the person themselves not be sufficient? How does one define a life compared to the actual person who is doing the living? Where does the life end and the living begin?

Qrow was outright laughing now.

The BEDROOM, professor. I thought that was obvious.

No, no, we've hit upon an idea here, Oz replied. What would intercourse with a life even look like? Your use of vulgarity implies that pleasure is not necessarily optional but what if it were possible? What would that look like? How would a person articulate that kind of sensation? Indeed, is there anything in all the languages of all the world that would describe a pleasurable intercourse with someone's life? Where would it fall on the sexuality spectrum? The academic in me is afire with ideas.

And Qrow, thoroughly amused, texted back, suck my dick and we can see if any words get invented.

Then he read what he wrote.

After he had hit send. Horror rose up in him and his thumbs suddenly weren't oriented right to backpedal what he just sent. Holy… sonnuva…

Sry. din't mean it just came out. Imma dick. No tht's evn worse. Sry I said NYthing. Fsck.

"What the hell," he muttered, leaning forward. "Can I be any more of a bi-disaster?"

It must have been five whole minutes before he got a reply, and those five minutes were even more nerve-wracking than waiting for the parole hearing, he couldn't believe he'd just typed that what was wrong with him how did he always manage to do stuff like this?

Two texts simultaneously.

First, Clover: I'm coming over tonight. I'm bringing my night bag, too. Lucky you.

Second, Oz: Forgive me, but I am not a fan of this kind of content in a text. I hope this does not offend you.

Qrow let out a breath, there was so much adrenaline in him he was starting to shake. He got up and started pacing. Don't blame you, he typed quickly to Oz, have no idea what came over me. I'm a disaster at this kind of thing anyway. Forget I even said anything. I know you're straight.

To Clover: You have no idea how close I just came to fucking up a friendship. I'd say bring beer but I know what you'd say.

Oz replied with only one word: Actually… and Qrow frowned, wondering what the rest of the sentence was. The three dots of someone typing appeared and disappeared - for the first time ever Qrow was watching Oz struggle to find words and he couldn't quite imagine it in his head. Clover texted back, What happened?, and Qrow had to quickly type, Hang on a second. We're still texting.

Clover: OMG I know how you get when you're stressed and texting at the same time. What did you say?

Qrow winced but he was still pacing the living room, staring at those three typing dots appear and disappear before, at last:

Very sorry. A student has just walked in. We'll talk more later.

"Jesus Christ, fuck my life from here to doomsday," Qrow muttered, taking a screengrab of the text chain and sending it to Clover, adding, How do I always do this to myself?

Change of plan, Clover wrote back. I'm picking you up.


Author's Notes: And thus, something we call Qrow's Disaster Energy, finally strikes, and he says/types something stupid. This is mostly an in-between chapter - we're starting to set up both Blake's and Weiss' stories, we get a bigger picture about Raven, Yang continues to spin, and our two favorites almost-flirt. Did we mention wild swinging from drama to fluff? This is what happens when you don't have an outline.

And look, the philosophy professor is being all academic about a simple turn of phrase. How does one define a life? What does f-ing a life mean? There is an answer to that question... somewhere... And we got the other half of the fic title!