Thank you all so much for your patience and dedication to this story. I was supremely stuck on this chapter as the "punishment" for Lulu kept changing in my mind and I finally decided to pick one and stick to it.
I apologize for not getting this chapter out before the New Year as well as keeping you all waiting until March of all things, but nothing was happening creatively for a while and I had to get myself back into the headspace. Just know that I AM NOT ABANDONING THIS STORY no matter how long it takes for me to get through it.
Notes and Admissions: I did as much research into the punishment as possible and it isn't supposed to be "right" in any context as it isn't supposed to have a BDSM feel, but more of a abusive one. So, if you have any triggers to whipping outside of a BDSM setting in general please skip that part. It really isn't long as I tried to keep it as short for the reader and our dear Lulu as possible after all that occurs between her and Suzaku prior to it.
With that: Enjoy Chapter Four!
~BlainexKurtxLovex
"Punished, for telling you the truth? Suzaku, are you really that worried about losing me that you are making things up that aren't really there to keep me?" Lulu inquired. It was a low blow, she knew, but she had to say something. She had to throw him off.
Suzaku's eyes widened a fraction before he regained his cold composure. "I'm not making it up. You know that better than anyone. You're the one who's been lying and scheming since the attack at the hospital."
"Did you not just tell Kallen that I am not important to her cause?" Lulu pressed. "If I've regained these memories you are convinced I have does that not mean that her words have merit? Is there something you aren't telling me?"
Suzaku pulled away from her as if he had been burned. Lulu inwardly smirked to herself. She had caught him off guard. He hadn't thought anything other than 'Lulu regained her memories' and 'she tried to escape.' He never thought that she might still be under her father's Geass. He now had to find a way to convince her that everything he said was nonsense.
"No…no…there isn't…you know there isn't…." Suzaku stumbled.
"But, you just said…Suzaku…am I, Zero?" she stuttered out. She leaned heavily against the wall to keep herself standing. She had to make it look like she was shocked by the news. "I am. It's the only explanation for the attack, the kidnapping, and your conviction that I have memories I don't remember."
"Lulu, please…"
"No, Suzaku!" she snapped. Lulu wasn't going to pass up this opportunity to scream and take out all her anger on him. It had been a long time coming and if this was the only time she could be mad at him she was going to milk it for all it was worth. "You don't give me enough credit! You seem to think I am naïve enough to ignore all the evidence that has been stacked against me!"
"Keep your voice down," Suzaku hissed. "Rhiannon is asleep."
"Then you can take care of her! You can stay up with her all night and rock her to sleep! You can change her diaper and feed her!"
"Why are you reacting like this towards our daughter, Lulu?"
"Oh, I don't know Suzaku, because you're an asshole," she deadpanned. Lulu crossed her arms over her chest. "Because you haven't helped with Rhiannon since she came home. Because you've been keeping something vital from me since we watched Zero's execution. Because you think I don't have a right to be angry about this new revelation you've apparently been hiding from me."
"Lulu, I did it to protect you…to protect us…to protect our child…."
"Does my father know? Of course, he knows. He would never had let me in his stronghold if he thought I was a threat. If he didn't think you could keep me in line and unaware."
Suzaku stepped forward and reached for her. Lulu took a step away from him and out of his reach. "Stop reading into things that aren't there."
Lulu balked. Now he wanted to deny everything he'd said to save his ass. Lulu wasn't having it. He had opened Pandora's Box and he would receive its full wrath.
"Reading…reading into…Suzaku you just insinuated…I can't just ignore that."
"If you want to stay alive. If you want to stay with Rhiannon…with…with me…you have too, Lulu," Suzaku pleaded. "They can't know."
Lulu recognized this situation as a favorable one. If she could get Suzaku to disclose important information, then she could get out. She could get Nunnally back. Then it struck her, where was Nunnally? God, the thought of using this moment to find her sister was eating at her from the inside out, but there was no way she would know about Nunnally. Lulu had walked herself into a trap of her own making. She may have found out that Suzaku had been officially keeping things from amnesic Lulu, but amnesic Lulu wouldn't know anything about a sister when she was supposed to only have a brother.
"What else aren't you telling me, Suzaku?" she demanded.
"I can't, Lulu. I can't tell you anything else."
"I swear to God, Suzaku, if you don't…."
"What are you going to do, Lulu?" Suzaku interrupted. "How are you going to get out? I'm not going to help you. No one is going to help you. You are here because of your actions. You are here because you are a threat."
Lulu moved forward till they were standing only an inch a part. She was in his face and he didn't flinch. He didn't move. Suzaku only breathed slowly to keep his cold and impassive expression.
"While I am apparently a threat, Suzaku. I am also an asset," Lulu reminded him. "My father chose to kill someone else in my place. He chose to keep me because he knew I was intelligent and dedicated to any cause I directed my energy into should it benefit the greater good. I am…."
"You are only here because of me," Suzaku sneered. "You are alive and here because I begged for your life. I pleaded your case and convinced the Emperor to spare your life because I love you."
"Your love is twisted, Suzaku. This existence isn't love. It's a nothing more than a cage."
"But it is better than death, Lulu. You have a daughter. You have a husband. You have a family. Isn't that enough for you?"
"It would be in any other circumstance, Suzaku. Before the Rebellion began, all I wanted was for you to fall in love with me. All I wanted was to find you and be with you. Then I did, and I thought everything would be okay. I had found you only to lose you. Then you came to Ashford and it was early enough I could have put a stop to it all, but then you fell in love with Euphie and decided to become her Knight. You abandoned me for her and her plans."
"So, you do remember," Suzaku pointed out. "You remember that at least."
"It's coming back in pieces," Lulu covered quickly. She needed to watch her words carefully moving forward or Suzaku would know she was lying. "It's foggy, but those aren't emotions I would forget willingly."
"I came back for you, Lulu. I came back to you after Euphie died. We made things work. I fell in love with you. I couldn't bear to lose you too. I had already lost one princess to circumstances I couldn't control; I couldn't lose you as well."
There was a knock at the door. Lulu and Suzaku both stopped and turned their gaze towards the hall where the main entrance was. Suzaku made his way forward without a backward glance to her, but Lulu didn't mind. She had to find a way to get Suzaku to slip up and tell her where Nunnally was. She didn't know how much time she had before Suzaku went to her father.
"Sir, I oversaw the transfer of the prisoner as requested. She has been put in a high-security solitary cell until further action is taken," Rolo announced.
"Thank you, Rolo," Suzaku praised, "Would you be so kind as to look after Rhiannon for the rest of the evening? Lulu and I have a lot to discuss and I don't want to wake her."
Rolo was silent for a moment before Lulu heard his voice, "Of course, sir. I would be honored to look after my niece."
"Thank you, Rolo. I'll bring her out to you and all the things she'll need and that will be all."
Suzaku appeared again, but ignored her completely. He went into the nursery and grabbed Rhiannon and the diaper bag she had packed earlier in the evening. He grabbed a few premade bottles from the fridge and headed back to the hallway. Suzaku gave Rolo a few instructions before she heard Rolo agree and the door was shut.
Lulu hadn't moved from her place in the middle of the room. She knew she couldn't show weakness here. This moment was crucial to her survival. Lulu was happy that at least Rhiannon was out of hearing range. As much as the threat of Suzaku having to take care of their baby was still valid Lulu didn't want to wake her. There had already been so much drama while she had been asleep. Lulu didn't need her daughter in the middle of their fight. Rhiannon didn't deserve it.
"Look, Lulu," Suzaku began, "the three of us can't be a family if your memories return. If you have any shred of love left for me…any love for our daughter than you will let this anger and bitterness towards Britannia end. You will keep pretending to stay alive."
"You honestly think that I have any love for you at all," Lulu stated. "How presumptuous of you, Suzaku. After everything you have done. After all the lies and betrayals, you think I still love you. You are mistaken. I loathe you. I despise everything you now stand for."
"I'm sorry that you feel that way, Lulu, but that doesn't change the fact that I love you," Suzaku replied. "It doesn't change the fact that you gave me a daughter and a family. You gave me something I always wanted with you."
"You don't erase the memories of the one you love. You don't kidnap them from their life and create a new one, Suzaku. That isn't love."
Suzaku surged forward then and took hold of her shoulders. The crazed look was in his eyes again as well as desperation. He was determined for her to understand why he had done it. Everything he now had hindered on this moment and his ability to convince her it was all for the better. Otherwise, he would lose her completely.
"Don't you understand? I couldn't let you die with the rest of them! I couldn't lose you, Lulu," Suzaku pressed. "I could have let the Emperor have you and erase every memory. I could have lived my life in comfort as a Knight of Round…alone, but I couldn't. Every good thing I had was with you. Every moment I had with you after Euphie was precious and I couldn't let Zero take you from me too."
"But, I am…."
"No! No, you are not! You are my wife and the mother of our child, Lulu. You are so much more than a rebel leader or a princess. You are mine!"
"Suzaku, you need to stop this madness. Your love for me has turned into obsession," Lulu concluded. "You can't have it both ways. You can't have me and still be you. I am Zero, as you yourself have pointed out, and you are my jailer. Nothing more. I'm sure our marriage isn't even legal."
"I made sure it was," Suzaku revealed. "I had Lloyd go over everything and any detail that would have had you taken from me in our marriage contract was removed. The Emperor knew my terms and was willing to take them all."
"That's not possible," Lulu stated, "My father isn't stupid enough to let you run the show. He knows how dangerous I am and how I can rally people to my rebellion. He never would have allowed you to…."
"He did, Lulu. He gave you over to me completely with the stipulation that should your memories return you were to be put to death immediately. Any suspicion or error found in part of your behavior found by me and me alone would cause your downfall."
"And you, being a terrible liar, agreed to those terms? Are you that naïve to think that my father won't see through you?" she inquired. "You couldn't even lie to me!"
"If there is anything I learned from you it is to keep as close to the truth as possible for a lie to be effective and believed," Suzaku pointed out.
"This is not just anyone, Suzaku! This is my father! The Emperor of Britannia who is as cunning as he his ruthless! You are a fool to think he won't see through you!"
"Then help me, Lulu," he begged. "Don't make everything I've done meaningless. Don't give up the life we have for something that is nothing but a memory. The rebellion is over."
Lulu just looked at him. She could see how tired he was…how worn out he had become. She hadn't noticed it before because she had been so focused on escape, but she took the time now and wondered how she could have missed it. He had been carrying around this fear of losing her long before now. He had been terrified that her memories would return and she would leave him only to be killed. None of the revelations should have pulled at her heartstrings, but they did. However, it wasn't enough. She needed to get out. She needed to find Nunnally and take Rhiannon away from this toxic home. Nunnally and Rhiannon were her only true family and Suzaku wasn't going to take this away from her.
"The rebellion will never be over as long as Zero still lives, Suzaku," Lulu snapped.
"You aren't Zero anymore!" Suzaku bellowed. "You are my wife and the mother of my child."
"And yet all you see when you look at me is Zero, Suzaku. For all your proclamations of love even you can't get over the fact that I was the instigator of the rebellion and the one who took Euphie from you."
Suzaku looked shocked, "You don't think that I could forgive you? That I have forgiven you? That I can't look past all that you've done to focus on the future?"
"No, Suzaku, I don't. I took the one person from you that…."
"Enough! You are so stupid, Lulu!"
Lulu took a deep breath to keep herself from screaming back. It wouldn't help the situation any and it would only serve to rile Suzaku up more. "And how am I stupid, Suzaku? Please, enlighten me."
He pulled his hands away and took a step back. Lulu just watched as he tried to collect himself as well. They both knew that if they continued to yell at each other they would both end up hurt far more than either of them wanted. As much as Lulu wanted Suzaku to pay for all the things he had put her through there was still a small bit of love for him deep down in her heart no matter how hard Lulu tried to deny it.
"The minute you gave birth to Rhiannon I forgave you, Lulu," Suzaku stated. He crossed the room and picked up one of Rhiannon's toys. "She's perfect. She's everything I wanted and you even gave her Euphie's namesake."
"Suzaku, those decisions were all made by someone without her memories," Lulu pointed out. "There is no guarantee that the 'me' from before or even the 'me' emerging now would have made the same decision."
"See, but I know you would have, Lulu. You loved Euphie too. She was your sister and outside of Nunnally you didn't have a care for the other royals. You did it to honor the true Princess Euphemia over the persona you gave her on accident."
Lulu's eyes widened at the mention of Nunnally and when Suzaku looked up from the toy to meet her gaze it dawned on him what he had said. He put the toy down and came to stand before her. He tried to touch her, but Lulu pulled out of his reach.
Lulu hadn't expected Suzaku to slip up so soon, but she should have. When he got emotional he either shut down or revealed too much. She had been expecting the first and instead had received a gift. Suzaku had worked himself up so much that he had mentioned her sister.
"Nunnally…." she whispered. "Rolo...isn't my brother."
"Lulu, I need you to listen…."
"No!" she screamed. She forced tears into her eyes for the second time that night and it wasn't hard to do. "You've kept Nunnally from me!"
"I had to, Lulu," Suzaku replied. "She was the reason for Zero in the first place and without her there was no longer a need for you to be Zero."
"What did you tell her?" Lulu demanded.
"Lulu, you don't need to get worked up. Nunnally is safe and sound. You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt her."
"What did you say to her?"
Lulu was losing her composure. She could feel her body shaking with anger and even though Lulu knew that she had to calm down it was impossible. For a full year, her beloved sister had either thought her missing, relocated, or worse. Lulu couldn't stand the thought of Nunnally being in pain because of her or Suzaku.
Suzaku let out a sigh, "We told her that it would be better if you two were separated for your protection and that you might not remember her when you awoke. She fought us at first when she saw you asleep, but after some encouragement and promises to keep her updated on your health Nunnally agreed to go. She knows you're here with me and although she wanted to come for our wedding day it was highly discouraged."
Lulu couldn't breathe. Nunnally was safe and alive. She had been deceived just as Lulu had, but on a much smaller scale. At least Nunnally didn't believe Lulu dead. That was a start and it would make everything that came later much easier. Lulu couldn't only hope that Nunnally was just as angry as she was, but something told Lulu that her sister couldn't hate Suzaku. Her sister's heart would never allow it.
"Does she know about Rhiannon? Does she know about her niece?"
"Yes, she has been made aware."
"I assume," Lulu began, "I will be unable to see her or for Nunnally to see Rhiannon."
Suzaku nodded, "As of now, you have no memories of her and Rolo is you brother."
Lulu wanted to scream. She had known for some time that Rolo was a replacement and a possible informant for her father as well as Suzaku, but it made her angrier to know that Suzaku had to have played a larger part in the boy's appointment. She was also sure that he was no normal boy. There were moments when he seemed almost cold and apathetic to all around him. Rolo was more than an informant. Rolo Lamperouge was an assassin.
"You ripped my only family from me to make your own," Lulu spat.
Suzaku's eyes hardened again. He stormed forward until he was right in front of her. He was only slightly taller than her, but Lulu still had to tilt her chin up to meet his eyes.
"You did this to yourself," he sneered. "We could have had Nunnally with us, but you chose to start a rebellion. You lost your sister all on your own."
"Fuck you, Suzaku!"
Suzaku lost it. He slammed her up against the wall, manhandled her wrists until they were above her head, and then used his free hand to cover her mouth. One of his legs was pressed between hers to keep her firmly in place.
"What have I told you about swearing, Lulu?" he asked, his voice light. Lulu went to open her mouth so she could bite him, but his hold only tightened. "Don't bite, Lulu. I have you right where I want you and even though you thought I forgot your punishment, I promise you I haven't."
Lulu could only glare at him. She knew that it was useless to try and fight him when he clearly had the upper hand. He smirked at her before pressing a chaste kiss to her temple. Lulu squeezed her eyes shut at the contact. The twinge of regret she had felt before was washed away with the feeling of dread that replaced it.
"Now, I'm going to take my hand away so we can talk like civilized adults." Suzaku did and Lulu took a deep calming breath. He sighed before cupping her cheek and swiping his finger across her cheekbone.
"What exactly do you plan to punish me with, Suzaku? You've already taken so much from me. What could there possibly be left for you to take?"
"You," Suzaku answered softly. "All of you."
"What?"
Suzaku smirked. "I'll make you fall in love with me again. That should be punishment enough, don't you think? You hate me so much right now and I know how much it hurts, but just like you made me fall in love with you I'll make you fall in love with me."
"I didn't make you do anything!"
Lulu started to fight again. She couldn't let Suzaku go any further with this. It was too much and her mind supplied a few things that her husband could do to her in this moment. He had the upper hand and no one would be coming to her aid this time.
"Didn't you? You pulled me back from the edge after Euphie died. You told me you loved me and I know you did," Suzaku reminded. He pushed closer and Lulu stiffened at his proximity. "Only I know how deep your love goes. I know how much you still care for me even if you won't admit it to yourself."
"My feelings for you have long since disappeared," she hissed. "They died when I realized what you'd done. What you did to play me and keep me at your side."
"The feelings will come back, Lulu. I know they aren't completely dead. I'll help you fall in love with me again." He leaned forward and dragged his lips across her other cheek. Lulu inhaled sharply at the contact. "I know exactly how to make you sing."
"This isn't the way to make people love you, Suzaku. I can't love you again after what you've done. I can't forgive you for…."
"You will. Forgive me that is. I don't plan to treat you unkindly, Lulu. I'll have you in ecstasy just I did before all this. I'll have you writhing in pleasure and moaning my name so loud the guards will come to see what all the fuss is about."
"Never! Need I remind you that kidnapping someone is unkind. Not to mention that you took…."
Suzaku's grip tightened on her and Lulu hissed in pain. His lips moved to her ear as he whispered, "Making people fall in love with you and refusing to love or forgive them is unkind. Especially, when they have forgiven you more than once."
Suzaku bit down harshly on her lobe then. Lulu winced at the pain and scrunched her eyes shut again. Her hands were clenched tight above her head in Suzaku's tight grip. She only further tensed when Suzaku placed gentle kisses down the length of her neck as his free hand tilted her head up for better access.
"I can't leave too many marks where others can see. We can't have people asking too many questions, but there are more less conspicuous places to mark you, Lulu."
"Don't do this, Suzaku," Lulu begged. She knew it was a long shot, but she had to try. Lulu had to stop him before this whole thing went too far. "You don't have to do this."
Suzaku pulled back and just stared at her. She wasn't sure what he was looking for, but the look of disappointment in his eyes clearly told her that he hadn't found it. "I don't want to, Lulu. You are all I ever wanted. Then you gave me our daughter and I couldn't have loved you more, but then C.C. came and ruined it all. I need to show you exactly who you belong to and who holds your life in their hands."
"But this...Suzaku this wrong," Lulu tried. She ignored the possessive note in his voice in hopes that he would see this for the insanity that it was. "Can you really not see how wrong this all is? Everything you've done has taken so much from me and you don't even care."
"I did all of this to keep you alive. I wouldn't change it for the world. I have you, I have Rhiannon, and I have my place as a Knight of Round. There is nothing more I could ever want. Well, except to make it to the Knight of One and make Area 11 a protectorate, but that will come in time."
"Suzaku...please…."
"Besides, loving you can never be wrong, Lulu."
He smiled sweetly at her before kissing her cheek again. He pulled her hands down in front of her and dragged her towards the bed. Lulu tried to pull away, but the whole thing was futile. Whatever Suzaku had planned could only be going in one direction and Lulu didn't like it one bit. He had already used their connection once to make the deal in the first place and Lulu wasn't sure she could take any more of it.
"Suza-Suzaku...what are you planning?" Lulu demanded. She flinched at the sound of fear in her voice, but Suzaku paid her no mind as he pulled her in front of him and pushed her to sit on the bed. "Suzaku…."
"Don't run, Lulu. You know I can catch you. So, logically, running would be useless," he replied instead.
Lulu eyed him as he went over to his dresser and pulled a couple of things out. Logically, she knew he was right. He would catch her and whatever was coming would be worse than she could have already imagined. Lulu didn't want to cooperate, but her choices were limited no matter how much her body was urging her to run. If Suzaku had planned ahead, then the front door would be locked and guards would be out front waiting to catch her and bring her back. The rooms they were quartered in only had artificial windows as they were in the central part of the castle itself so there was no escape there. The heating and cooling ducts were thin slits in the upper and lower walls that did their job perfectly without being bulky, so that was out too.
Suzaku had her caged in and the only way out was through the front door where, effectively, the exit was sealed off as well and out of the question. It was clear that he couldn't be reasoned with either and Lulu should have been mentally preparing herself for the worst, but her brain was too focused on what Suzaku was grabbing out of the drawer. Suzaku didn't turn around so she could see what he chose as he shut the dresser drawer and Lulu wondered what he could possible need from his underwear drawer.
"Get on the bed and lay on your stomach, Lulu."
Lulu scoffed, "You don't actually think that I'm going to…."
"DO IT!" Suzaku yelled as he turned around. The items must have been placed on the top of the dresser out of her line of vision, but the liquid fire in Suzaku's eyes was enough to terrify her. He was furious and as much as Lulu liked to piss him off, right now didn't seem to be the best time. "Because the longer it takes the more I will make this punishment hurt, Lulu. It won't only be physical. I'll delve into your almost nonexistent emotions and keep you from your daughter and your sister permanently."
"What are you…?" Lulu was dumbfounded by his threat. She had never thought he had the guts to take Rhiannon from her mother, but apparently he did. "You wouldn't, Suzaku!"
"I don't want to, Lulu, but I will if I have to," he promised.
"What happened to you, Suzaku? You've completely lost your mind. You aren't the sweet boy I grew up with anymore. You aren't even the considerate man I fell in love with. I don't know who you are, but you aren't the same man that I loved all my life until now."
The fire in Suzaku's eyes died a little and Lulu remained hopeful. If she could get him to calm down, then maybe she could avoid whatever "punishment" Suzaku had in mind. It was all she could do with all effective escape routes closed off to her.
"You happened, Lulu. Everything you've done in the name of revenge has led us to this moment," Suzaku answered as he stalked forward. "I'm not the same because the person I love decided they could play chess with peoples live as if they were nothing. I changed because you did and now we both have to live with that."
Lulu rolled her eyes, "I should have known you would blame this all on me. Everything that has gone wrong is my fault and no one else's because no one else made choices that changed the course of the future. Really Suzaku, I thought you would have thought up something original."
"I won't ask again, Lulu, get on the bed and lay face down. My patience is thinning and the longer you stall the worse it will be."
Lulu sighed in the hopes that it made her look unfazed, but Suzaku would know better. It was a front because Lulu was terrified. Whatever was about to happen would not end well for her. That much was clear. If she didn't do what Suzaku asked of her then Lulu would lose her daughter and her sister. That would be too much for her to deal with no matter how much she wanted to fight against it all.
Lulu turned around and crawled up the bed to lay with her cheek braced against the pillow. Her hands rested on either side of her head while she waited for more of Suzaku's orders. She was about to ask what to do next when she felt Suzaku's hands on her wrists. He brought them together and wrapped something around them. Lulu's head snapped up when she saw the tie wrapped snugly around her thin wrists. Her mouth hung open as Suzaku tied them to the headboard.
"What the hell, Suzaku?" she yelled. "Release me this instant! I was willing to go along with this, but you are taking this too far!"
Suzaku seemed to ignore her order again as he spoke while moving out of her line of vision. "You should probably stop moving, Lulu. You'll rub your wrists raw if you keep it up and the last thing you want is for people to see into our private life."
"Suzaku, I swear…." Whatever Lulu was going to say got stuck in her throat when she saw a cloth brought in front of her eyes. She shook her head to keep the blindfold off, but Suzaku was quick to get it over her eyes and secured around her head without catching any of her long hair in the knot. "Suzaku!"
"You look beautiful, Lulu. I wish you could see how gorgeous you are tied up and at my mercy. It's a nice change."
"This is getting ridiculous, Suzaku," she hissed in reply. "Let me go before I scream for the guards."
"I wouldn't try it. I already told the guards that no matter what they hear to ignore it. They understood wanting some intimate time with my lovely wife," he revealed. "They told me to enjoy myself. Now don't move."
Lulu was about to yell him again when there was a sliver of cold metal sliding up her back from the base of her spine. She heard the tell-tale sign of a snip from behind her and realized that Suzaku was cutting her shirt in half to get her upper half naked. She stilled and waited. Suzaku moved her hair to the side as he reached the top and snipped the last of it.
"Was that really necessary?" Lulu grit out.
"Of course. I could have had you remove it from the start, but that would have ruined the illusion. You would have fought me more and that would have been unacceptable as this is a punishment," he answered. "I have to break your pride and the best way is to not give you a choice."
Suzaku pulled the pieces of her shirt aside before unclasping her bra and pulling the straps to the side. She felt his hands on her hips as he placed a kiss between you shoulder blades. Then he reached around her front to unbutton her pants before slowly pulling them off. He left her underwear on and Lulu wondered where this whole thing was going to go if he wasn't going to accost her.
After a long moment of Suzaku just looking at her she felt him grab a pillow from her side of the bed. He indicated for her to raise her hips and she did. He slid the pillow beneath her and kissed the small of her back in praise.
"This may be a punishment, but your comfort is important too."
"Small consolation," she hissed.
Suzaku ignored her, "Now, you are going to want to relax, Lulu, or this will only hurt more."
"And what, pray tell, is it that is going to….ah!"
The sharp sting of the leather against her shoulder blades caught her off guard, but made it perfectly clear what her punishment was. Suzaku was whipping her. Lulu had never thought Suzaku would ever resort to something like this before and she wasn't sure how she was going to make it through without losing her control.
"Suzaku…."
Another sting of leather hit along the middle of her back and Lulu couldn't help the hiss that escaped her lips once the leather slid away. Another hit along her lower back not a second later and it took every muscle in her body not to arch at the sting of pain. Instead, Lulu kept her body rigid and held her breath as another hit smacked against the swell of her ass.
"I'm not hitting too hard am I, Lulu?" Suzaku inquired. His hand smoothed across the fresh welts causing her to gasp at the warmth of his hand against the damaged skin. "I haven't broken skin so you should be okay. You might bruise a little though."
"I...I t-thought you said you didn't want to leave marks," she stated as the heat from Suzaku's hand pulled away. "You don't...don't want questions into our private life…."
"No, but you still need to learn your lesson, Lulu."
"And what lesson is that exactly?"
Lulu knew she was pushing the boundaries of his self-control. With all her eyesight removed from the equation Lulu could almost sense Suzaku's growing frustration. She knew he was tense by the way the room fell silent and Suzaku's hand gripped tighter around whatever he was using to hit her.
"That you are mine and mine alone," he answered before returning to his task. Suzaku grunted a few times as the whipping instrument hit her across the back in less controlled strokes. Lulu could only gasp at the pain that was blossoming through her body as Suzaku finally snapped.
If he had hoped that this was something he could turn into a sexual encounter, he was surely going to be disappointed. She had never wanted any type of BDSM play in the bedroom since she didn't trust him enough to give up control. She knew enough about this type of play to know that consent was the most important thing and Lulu hadn't given it. She had never consented to this.
After a moment, Lulu noticed that she was crying from the pain. The blindfold was soaked, but she hadn't noticed that until it was removed with a flick of Suzaku's fingers and the sopping fabric hit her bound arms. Lulu cried silently as Suzaku continued for a few minutes more, but it was enough for Lulu to feel the wetness on her back.
"St-stop...Suzaku…." she whispered. Lulu thought about begging, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. "Su-suzaku…." Suzaku himself was breathing hard, but he must have heard her because he did stop. Lulu turned her head slowly to look at him over her shoulder.
He must have taken his shirt off sometime while she fought through the pain. His hair was wet with perspiration and his face was red with exertion. He dropped the whip he had been punishing her with and moved out her line of vision. Lulu didn't care what type it was. It had caused too much pain for her to care. All she knew was that she would find it and dispose of it at the earliest opportunity.
"Where...wh-where are you go-going?"
"Quiet, Lulu," Suzaku snapped.
Lulu stopped talking long enough to take a deep breath and calm down when she felt something cold against her skin. Suzaku's hands were still warm, but they were coated in some kind of lotion or gel. It stung the welts on her back and she hissed at the contact the longer Suzaku kept at it.
As he moved farther down to her ass, Lulu tensed up again. She started to squirm and it took a steadying hand on her shoulder to keep her in place as he dipped his hand underneath the fabric to rub the lotion in. When he dipped his fingers closer to her sex Lulu felt tears returning to her eyes.
"You did well, Lulu," he praised as his fingers slid to her sex. Her body hadn't reacted to the stimulation, but as he rubbed his fingers against her body reacted against her will. "You were even quieter than I expected. I didn't expect, however, for a punishment to turn you on so much."
"IT DIDN'T!" she screamed. "Nothing was happening until you…stop, Suzaku...No!" His fingers slipped inside and Lulu felt her whole world fall apart.
"It's so warm inside, Lulu," he commented as he thrust his fingers in and out of her. His fingers curled along her walls and a whimper escaped past her lips. "It's been a long time since I've sheathed myself inside your heat. How bad do you want my cock inside you, Lulu?"
"I do-don't want...stop, Suzaku!"
"You deserve a reward for taking your punishment so well."
"No!"
Suzaku pulled his fingers out and Lulu let out a sigh of relief at the loss of contact. She closed her eyes as she felt him move away from her and Lulu took a minute to take a deep breath. Then she felt her underwear being removed and she panicked. Lulu tried to scramble away, but Suzaku held her in place as he pulled her free of the fabric.
"Suza...no...I don't...please…don't…."
Suzaku shushed her which did nothing to calm the terror in her chest. He situated her onto her knees with her elbows supporting the rest of her weight. She tried to beg him again to just leave it be, her pride be damned, but he ignored her.
She felt him situate himself beneath her. She felt Suzaku's hands on the inside of her thighs before he guided her to spread her legs a bit. When he had her where he wanted her, Suzaku inserted his fingers back inside and used his free hand to guide her hips down. Lulu bit her lip to keep from making a sound as Suzaku continued to violate her.
The first swipe of his tongue along her clit made her shudder. He hummed at the taste of her juices just as he always had before, but it was different this time. She wasn't a willing participant in the intercourse. Lulu was pretty much a doll to be used at this point. No matter how much she didn't want it there wasn't anything she could do as he forced pleasure from her.
"I'll make you feel good, Lulu. You took your punishment well and you deserve a reward for all your hard work."
"I don't...ne-ed a re-ward…I just want...want to…."
"What, Lulu?"
Lulu took a deep breath to calm her stammering before answering. "I just want to be done."
"You want me to leave you like this? That isn't like you, Lulu."
It wasn't. Normally, she would have demanded sexual gratification, but not tonight. Nothing about tonight had been normal and Lulu couldn't handle anymore. She wanted to put on her pajamas and crawl under the covers. She wanted to sleep the pain away and then wake up in the morning to clean away the remnants of her misery. Not necessarily in that order.
"Please, Suzaku. I just want to sleep."
Suzaku was quiet for a moment. His breath was warm against her sex and his fingers were still buried inside her. It felt nice to be touched, but it wasn't something that she wanted to ever do with Suzaku ever again. Besides, Lulu was doing her best to keep herself still so as not to push the situation any further in the direction of intercourse.
"Alright," he agreed. "Another time."
She tensed at his words because she didn't want there to be another time. She wanted this to be the only time and it would be if she could get away from him. Lulu would escape if it was the last thing she did.
He pulled his fingers out slowly before removing himself from below her. He came around and untied the fabric around her wrists. Lulu was shaking and her body was tired. Her back ached and burned. She turned her body away from him and sat up slowly. Her legs were trembling from lack of use as she stood up with the help of the end table next to the bed.
"Lulu, let me help you," Suzaku offered.
"I think," Lulu hissed, "you have done enough."
"You are going to need help, Lulu. Don't be so stubborn and let me assist you."
"The last thing I want is your help, Suzaku. The trust between us was broken before, but it's completely gone now. I can't trust you to not take advantage of the situation and accost me in the shower."
Once Lulu's legs were stable she made her way over to her dresser to pull out some pajamas that wouldn't aggravate her wounds and a new pair of underwear. Then she made her way to the bathroom and locked herself inside.
Lulu hadn't expected Suzaku to take things this far. Under normal circumstances he would have ran everything by her first before doing anything, but he had made it perfectly clear that he wasn't doing that anymore. Then trying to convince her that she was feeling pleasure was a clear manipulation tactic that he wasn't good at. The only thing that confused her was that he had finally stopped when she asked. Lulu wasn't sure what to make of it except that maybe he finally realized how wrong it all was, but that possibility was unlikely. Whatever the reason, Lulu knew for a fact that she had to get out of the palace and away from Suzaku as soon as possible.
Lulu nodded to herself at her reaffirmed conviction before she promptly dropped all her clothes on the counter and turned on the shower before going to the mirror to look at the welts on her back. Lulu bit her lip to keep the sounds at bay as she traced one of the marks. The tears welled in her eyes and it took everything she had not to scream. The last thing she wanted was for Suzaku to come running to her rescue.
That's a wrap for this chapter! The next one, I'm thinking will be from Suzaku's pov, but I guess we will see where the story takes us!
Note: 1. I do not condone abuse of any kind! Abuse is wrong no matter what form it comes in! (Physical, Emotional, Mental, Sexual, etc…)
2. BDSM is about consent and trust as well as thorough research! (Obviously, Suzaku did none of these things as was the point.)
3. Aftercare IS VERY IMPORTANT. It should never be forgotten or not done.
Before I wrote the "punishment" scene, I made sure that I had hopefully a good/decent understanding of what it means to participate in a BDSM scene with a partner you trust, which ultimately took me out of my comfort zone. It isn't perfect in any way or any form, but I took a shot.
As always, thank you for reading, your support, and your comments! All are greatly appreciated!
~BlainexKurtxLovex
