AUTHOR'S NOTE: Watching the episode "Stressed to Kill" made me headcanon that Darkwing Duck is nervous around doctors. It would seem some of my friends in the fandom on Tumblr agreee. So for those that share this headcanon, this one's for you.
The door to the clinic was flown wide and a duck whizzed inside, coming to crash against the wall below the front counter.
"Call us when you're done," a girl's voice called out with doting sarcasm, and the two figures on the outside responsible for the duck's less-than-grand entrance made their hasty exit. The duck shook the hurt away from his head and picked himself up from the floor, straightening his clothes in a huff.
The duck was Drake Mallard. And he had been dragged kicking and screaming for a physical by his daughter, Gosalyn, and his faithful companion, Launchpad McQuack.
He sighed and turned his attention to the lady at the desk. She was trying to hide a smile, having seen the ridiculous way he was tossed inside like a bag of mulch. She wasn't doing the best job of it, though, and this goofy look on her face only served to fuel Drake's manageable, but growing anxiety.
"Appointment for Drake Mallard," Drake said, exasperation evident in his voice.
The lady gave a nervous chuckle and began typing at her keyboard. "Sorry, sir," she replied, "I didn't mean to offend."
"Oh, don't worry about it," Drake said, then grumbled to himself, "You're not the one who was dragged in here against his will…"
He turned away from the front desk and took a seat as far away from the other patrons as possible. I'm going to have a long talk with that daughter of mine when I'm done here, he thought. His leg bounced up and down, and butterflies were starting to flutter in his stomach. Drake didn't know why he felt this way. He'd always known he didn't like doctors, but he didn't expect to be this uneasy. Looking around at a coughing dog in one corner and a noisy toddler in another did not help matters.
"Darkwing Duck wouldn't show these signs of weakness to a mere servant of society," Drake grumbled to himself.
"Drake Mallard?" a nurse called out, and Drake yelped in surprise.
Who was he kidding? Of course Darkwing would. And had.
As he waddled slowly toward the waiting nurse, he recalled how nervous he'd been when visiting psychiatrist team Doctors Heebie and Jeebie. Their aura was of pure malice. They didn't care for their patient. They just wanted to see him squirm as they did what they willed to the lab rat in their chair. Granted, those two kooks were actually Quackerjack and Megavolt in disguise, but it didn't change the fact that doctors, and their domination complexes had a way of bringing cold fear to Drake, a duck who always desired absolute control. Bringing this memory up from his recesses only served to amplify his anxiety, and despite his attempts to look normal, the nurse couldn't help but notice his shirt darkening at the armpits.
"Is everything okay, sir?" she asked politely. Drake, startled, whipped his head around so quickly that the nurse jumped back, worried that she'd need to add "whiplash" to his symptom list.
His worry spilled over in the nervous chuckles he gave upon seeing the nurse's reaction. "Uhhhh, just p-peachy," he said, "fine, yes…" He scratched the back off his head and looked down, embarrassed, for a moment. He glanced to his right and, seeing the solace of an exam room, dove inside and shut the door. All the nurse could do was shake her head. This guy is a nut, she thought, and left to fetch the doctor.
Drake rode home in a taxi after his appointment. He hoped to avoid having to talk about the doctor's visit this way. Plus, not having to pay for potential property damage due to Launchpad's erratic driving was always a good thing. However, when he walked through the front door to see Launchpad and Gosalyn jogging enthusiastically to him, he realized his cab ride was only delaying the inevitable.
"So, how'd it go?" Gosalyn asked slyly.
Perhaps as revenge for his "grand entrance" into the clinic, Drake decided to play the ambiguous card. "Good," he said, and immediately retreated to his room.
"Daaaaad!" Gosalyn called after him, but her irritation was duly ignored.
He flopped on his bed and smiled. He wouldn't be admitting it, but he actually enjoyed himself. For once, the doc has a calming air about him, and after noting his nervousness, kept the random poking and prodding to a minimum. They even had some great conversations about Darkwing Duck; it turns out the doc was a huge fan.
"Well, perhaps you'll meet him, someday…" Drake mused, happy that for the first time in his life, he had a doctor that was a keeper.
