Hermione knew she had a problem with hubris. She also knew she had a problem with people. Talking to people. Not knowing what hurt people, not thinking what hurt people at times. Going too far to prove she was correct to the degree that at the end of the day it didn't even matter. Of course, Krum was one of the people who came under that. It was her mother who first told her that sometimes telling white lies wouldn't end the world. Once, when she was eight, she'd been visiting the neighbours with the mum. The neighbours consisted of the Pumphreys. Mrs Pumphrey had prepared some oatmeal cookies but they were slightly burnt so Hermione instantly pointed it out. Since she was eight, Mrs Pumphrey just laughed and explained that she had rolled the cookie dough to be too thin and she didn't notice the burning earlier. Her mum had also laughed, "well that's just Hermione.". after that her mum explained to her about the need to be socially conscious. she'd also been having trouble making any friends in school at that time.
Before befriending Harry and Ron, she was convinced that she'd spend the next seven years very lonely. When people called her amazing or perfect, she'd always wince uncomfortably. Perfect and amazing people were perfect and amazing. she was sure she wasn't perfect and that practically no once could be.
Well…
Except for Ron Weasley.
If it weren't for him growing up with such a vast amount of siblings that he had to overshine (she didn't blame him for that, she loved outshining people.) he really wouldn't have any need to be insecure. However, between the Chosen One and the Brightest Witch of her Age how would he not feel insecure.
at least that's what she mistakenly read in his journal
It was potions period during fourth year and she'd run out of parchment. She turned to Ron who had, as usual, forgotten his potions parchment in his dormitory and was now using his rough journal.
Just as she would ask him to neatly tear off two pages, he excused himself to use the washroom. She was running out of time and had to note the reaction that happened when you reacted gillyweed with unicorn draught.
She asked Harry if it was okay to neatly tear off the last two pages of Ron's rough journal. Harry just shrugged.
She opened his journal and turned to the last page but the last page was filled with something. Harry was engrossed in writing down what was written on the chalkboard and Ron had a habit of being in the restroom for no less than five minutes every time he excused himself. Curiosity overtook her similar to how it did for Pandora when she opened the pithos despite Epimetheus telling her, nay, warning her not to. This time she wouldn't unleash grief, envy, anger, woe or anything subsequent to that, that was what Pandora had unleashed. No, she'd unleash the reason. the reason why Ron was sad.
This was not the right academic spirit by Merlin. There was only one way to burn that curiosity: reading the remaining part. She wasn't sure if she wanted to 'obliviate' herself. She was yet to have a stronger grip on memory charms. it was a dodgy subject and she wasn't convinced that she wouldn't screw it up.
"Ron! The Quidditch grounds are empty and the house heads are attending that summit!" Harry exclaimed at about five o'clock in the evening.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Ron replied, equally enthused and animated.
"Quidditch time!" they said in unision.
Hermione shook her head disapprovingly. "Mates, we have to turn this essay in one week! It's for potions and you know how Professor Snape is sometimes. He doesn't give us good marks to begin with so you guys will need to tr—"
"Oh come on, 'Mione, we'll be back in like half an hour" Ron said sheepishly.
"Fine. but don't expect me to tag along with you blokes. You really are setting yourself on the path of receiving an Exceeds Expectations."
"What's wrong with Exceeds Expectations?" Harry chuckled.
"It's not Outstanding!"
"Hermione, in case you didn't notice, everyone doesn't have the same standards about their OWLs as you do."
"Hmph, and what is the good thing about having low standards, may I ask?"
"You can enjoy life" Ron said brightly, removing the ribbon off of her pigtail.
"ROLAND WEASLEY, GIVE ME MY RIBBON BACK" she said turning red.
"It's Ron-ald, not Ro-land" Ron responded with his best Hermione first year Charms class impression.
Hermione started laughing, "I swear to Merlin, Ron, give it back. Or I won't help you with the Potions essay"
Ron turned pink. "Okay, here you go, my highness" he said solemnly.
"Be back in half an hour, mates, or else…" Hermione said, tauntingly.
"Or else what?" Harry asked amusedly.
"Or else, don't expect me to lend you notes for Hogwarts: A History after you fall asleep in Professor Binn's lesson." she clapped back.
"Sure thing, your Majesty, 30 minutes on the dot and we'll be back."
"It's 5:10 in the evening and you have to come back by 5:40 in the evening," she said.
"Okay, okay" both Harry and Ron muttered.
As it turned out, Ron forgot his rough journal.
Curiosity got the better of Hermione after a 5 minute staring contest. She snapped and just ended up opening the journal, knowing she would beat herself up for being a terrible friend and also knowing that there was no feasible way for her to bring this up without bringing up the fact that she breached Ron's trust.
Regardless, she opened it and read:
"...so this is today's confession. I am more than pissed that Krum and Hermione went to the Yule Ball together. Now Krum used to be my hero, not anymore. That bloke is weird. What kind of 18 year old wanker asks a 14 year old girl out? And that too, Hermione? With that slime bucket? Did she not read all the controversy about Krum and his perverted behaviour. It was right there written in the Daily Prophet! And not by Rita Skeeter but by Natalie Perkins, she won the most reliable writer for any wizardly and witchly newspaper in the entire Northern Hemisphere.
Also like his eyes are very weird and he can't even TRY to pronounce her name correctly. What the fuck is Herm-own-ninny? How is it hard to TRY. It's H-E-R-M-I-O-N-E. HER- MAYAH-NEE. I bet if i did that to her, she'd just be royally pissed off and offended but with Krum she seems to have heaps of patience.
Also I had to go with her. I'd wanted to go since the beginning and now she thinks she's my last resort. Under no circumstances is she my last resort. I didn't ask her because I was afraid that she'd do that 'we're just friends crap' with me. She'd surely do it with Harry and just because I like her in a more-than-friends way doesn't mean she does too.
I don't know how not to feel insecure. With Ginny and her pretty face and quidditch skills, Charlie and his having been quidditch captain, Bill being a head boy, Percy having been everything except something in Quidditch, Fred and George having such a great following and amount of friends. My friends consist of The Chosen One and The Brightest witch of her Age. It's like i was born to be overshadowed by everyone and also should somehow automatically know how to put up with that?
I bet she felt really good rubbing it in my face. Gee, imagine having your dream girl go out with the bloke you want to be. Nothing can hurt a human psyche more than that, I say. And I say correctly, mind you. I'd been practicing some dancing and had even saved up to buy some special robes for Hermione even though I knew I would sooner die from turning as red as a beet than asking her out and being rejected. I knew it would hurt and I still know. All it would've taken for me to ask her out would've been knowing that she fancied me back. Then I'd ask her quicker than you could say Chudley Cannons.
I still wish I could have my first kiss with her though and she could have her first kiss with me. It would happen when we would be holding hands at Hogsmeade while sucking on some real nice taffy while walking in the nice, pretty green park. I would wish she'd initiate it because that would make it more than clear that she was comfortable. I really wouldn't want to kiss her without her telling me or showing me or her kissing me first. She is just such an angelic soul, what if i bombarded her and made her uncomfortable. God i wish we can just have that.
I don't know what I'd do with myself if that didn't happen. Please let me have something
Thanks for putting up with this
Ron."
A tear trickled down her cheek. Hermione didn't know many things about what would happen with a future she'd have with Ron. She knew one thing though, her first kiss wouldn't be with him. His idea of the first kiss and ensuring she was comfortable was so much better than Krum randomly kissing her. She didn't kiss Krum. Krum kissed her. And she didn't know what to do after that. She just knew she didn't want anything to do with a bloke like Krum.
Slowly she stopped meeting Krum, saying she had work to do even when she didn't. She'd sent him a letter to break it off. He wrote back saying it was okay and that they could remain friends and said they could still be pen pals. she didn't know what to say so she said yes.
Now she had wasted her first kiss on some person she didn't even fancy. and the one she loved wanted the same things as her.
At that moment, the moment Krum'd kiss her, she'd just shoved the memory deep inside.
Now she couldn't.
Unpleasant flashback.
And now she thought Ron was past her. Or maybe he wasn't. Maybe he thought she would be impressed with him but she just acted like it was impossible in front of him, for him to have become prefect. So she was a bumbling idiot, wasn't she.
The very next day
Hermione knocked on Ron's door. Harry was out practicing Quidditch with the twins and Ron was in his room. This was the perfect time.
"Yeah? Who's it?"
"It's me, Hermione."
"Oh" he said, sounding less upbeat (or maybe she was reading too deep into it.) "Come in"
"Hey" she said.
"Hi" he waved lightly, fidgeting around.
"So…" she started, "are you excited to be prefects with me?"
"Oh you finally believe i could've become a prefect?"
"I'm really sorry, really, i don't know what to say...except for the fact that I'm just supremely daft."
"Oh you aren't, i was just playing with ya…" he muttered wistfully,
"Honestly, I think you'd make a perfect prefect." She said.
"Wow, that's some Outstanding level alliteration right there" he snorted.
"Yeah it sure is, it's also the truth, interestingly enough."
"Yeah, thanks" Ron said.
"Yeah no problem, uh…" she again started to think about the journal
"I'll go" she said.
"are you sure you don't want to say anything else?"
"Uh huh" she mumbled uncertainly.
"Well okay then"
"Okay" Hermione said and walked out.
She didn't enjoy the remainder of the day.
