Part Twenty-Three
After the Fourth, Blake and her friends were at the mall, walking and talking more than any real shopping. Weiss had offered to get them anything they needed, hearing that Mr. Qrow had lost his job and that money would be tight for a while. Ruby and Yang refused, and Blake was in no financial straits, but the weight of it kept them from making purchases. Instead, Weiss informed them of the latest details of the custody battle and the general suing of her father. There hadn't been as many protests with her parents - now that things were being handled legally there was less for them to do, but all the adults agreed the best thing possible would be for Jacques Schnee to be arrested for… something. Anything.
"Can't we just make something up?" Yang asked.
"Not and have it stick with the litany of lawyers my father has at his disposal," Weiss said. "Besides, we shouldn't need to make anything up."
"Then can't we use the real stuff?" Ruby asked. "Isn't it against the law to abuse your kids or something?"
"I asked Winter about that, of course, but parental neglect would be the most easily proven charge and Father has seen to my physical needs quite well. It would be easier to declare him incompetent-"
"Which he is."
"-which he is," Weiss repeated, giving a flat glare to Yang, "but again, he has more than seen to my physical needs."
"But what about the company?" Blake asked. "The class action lawsuit had hundreds of signatures."
"That he can settle out of court provided there's a nondisclosure agreement," Weiss said, sighing. "We're even looking into tax evasion - right now that might be the best strategy, but subpoenaing tax returns is - Winter had a word for it, but I got the impression it was difficult."
"Don't worry," Ruby said brightly, leaning into Weiss as they walked. "We'll think of something."
"Thank you for the kind words," Weiss said, her voice gentle.
The two walked further ahead, as they usually did, and Yang hung back with Blake. She looked at her friend's arm, the faint scarring from the… assault… She pulled at her cat ear headband, looking away. She wondered if the guilt would ever go away.
But… then… there was that day at the professor's house, when the air had gotten so… intense. She was confused, uncertain what had happened. She shook the memory off (again), trying to stay in the moment, like her counselor told her.
They made a few extra circuits around the mall before stopping at the play area, a dozen toddlers screaming in delight as they climbed playground logs and baby animals, hopscotching over a painted river while the parents rested. The four of them crowded into one corner, Weiss disappearing briefly before coming back with four ice cream cones. Ruby was ecstatic, she always was for desert, and Yang laughed as they dug in. Weiss pulled out her phone and handed one of her bluetooth ear pieces to Ruby. Blake smiled at the scene: the epitome of best friends, and she leaned against Yang and curled her feet up, sandals on the floor.
"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention," Yang said, quickly pulling out her phone. "You'd wanted to come over the week after school ended, but I wanted to show you." She opened up her photos. "June is Pride month, did you know?"
"No," Blake said. "Is that why my feed was full of rainbows?"
"Yeah, Uncle Qrow, he always drags us to the big parade they do in Boston. "They've been doing it since college since both Uncle Qrow and my mom are bi. Dad comes, too, proud to be the A in the spectrum, being an ally and all. But Professor Ozpin said that A actually stood for something else, and then Uncle Qrow invited them. Look."
Yang pulled her thumb away from her phone, and Blake saw a sunny blue sky with equally blue skyscrapers as the backdrop of Mr. Qrow, shirtless and with blue, pink, and purple painted on his chest, smiling and giving a gesture to the camera. One arm was wrapped around the professor, white hair standing out in the crowd, in one of his summer suits, smiling gently.
"Cute couple," Blake said, eyes tracing over the pair. Yang swiped and the next picture was Ruby and Mr. Tai, each holding flags of different color combinations and waving them fiercely. Next to them was Mr. Qrow, pointing and making some kind of face - probably teasing. The next picture was Oscar holding up one flag: purple, grey, black and white; frowning like he wasn't sure he was doing it right.
"He's cute," Yang said. "He's not used to the whole LGBT thing, I guess Professor Ozpin was in the closet for a long time. Here, look. There's me!"
And the next picture was Yang, face bright and smiling, stripes painted on her cheeks: shades of orange and purple.
"Do the flags mean anything?" Blake asked. "Everyone has different colors."
"Yeah, the rainbow is the umbrella for all of us, but actually it's just for the gays - the men who like men. Each letter gets their own flag. Figured I'd rep the girls with their colors. Here, here, there's the parade!"
Blake watched the pictures in interest, but she also saw how quickly Yang went pink and changed the pictures: the swell of people, the flags, the colors, the kissing. "It looks really exciting," she said.
"It always is. You should come with us next year. The more allies the better."
Blake shifted slightly, intrigued by… something going on inside her. She shifted her weight, put her arm around Yang to see the pictures better, but also so she could be closer to her. Her eyes drifted after a while, people watching. She saw two teens, maybe a couple years older than her, walking by hand in hand. Boy and girl, exactly like it was supposed to be. Blake studied, and realized she thought both of them were a little hot. That confused her, because she thought she was only supposed to notice the boy. Actually, the girl was hotter, fuller lips, darker skin… Blake blushed, realizing her thoughts and wondering what was wrong with her.
Yang was hot, too. Blake had always thought that even back when they met in middle school. She was tall, athletic, hair for miles and so soft. She had thought it was just appreciating a friend's beauty. Adam was hot, too - strong and fiery and so dark. Her heart was conflicted, and she couldn't understand how she could like both.
The professor had pointed out that things like this took time, and things like this didn't need to be rushed. But Blake had questions, and she didn't dare talk to her parents, she was afraid of what they'd say. She had thought about talking to the professor, but he was private, in a way. Even the pictures: he was in a summer suit, not "out and proud." He was safer to talk to, but she wasn't sure he could - not without embarrassing himself. Mr. Qrow… she pursed her lips. He was different - out and proud - but a self-admitted disaster, and she wasn't sure…
"Oh," she said, straightening. "I forgot, I needed to tell Mr. Qrow about some of the resources my dad has access to." She turned to Yang. "I'm gonna disappear for a second."
"Sure," Yang said, still red in the face. "Take your time."
Blake put her sandals back on and backtracked to the eatery. Sure enough, Professor Ozpin and Mr. Qrow were there, side by side, talking quietly.
"Don't tell me you lost them," Mr. Qrow said brightly as she walked up. "They're easy to spot, just put those cat ears of yours out for the loudest squeal. That'd be Ruby walking by the comic shop."
"No, that's not it," Blake said, running her fingers through her hair. "Uhm, is it okay if I talk to you? Alone?" The words came out in a rush, Blake was afraid she would chicken out.
The two looked at each other, but Mr. Qrow shrugged his shoulders and stood. Blake led him to the far side of the eatery, sitting at an empty table in the corner of the space. Mr. Qrow looked suspicious, but he sat across from her, and Blake took a breath… and immediately couldn't decide on a word. She bit her lip, looking down, pressed her hands together under the table, and tried again. All she could manage was an uncertain, "Uh…" Anxiety was starting to build in her - not the fear she had at school for someone knowing what happened to her and judging her, but the worry that she wouldn't be able to word it right, that Mr. Qrow would get the wrong impression. She shook her head, trying to fight it off, knowing it would make it worse.
"W-what…" she said. She growled, frustrated with herself, but Mr. Qrow just sat and looked, didn't say anything, with his arms crossed and his face neutral. "What…" Blake huffed, mad at herself. "Wh-what does it mean to be… be… be bisexual?"
The words came out in an ugly rush, and her face turned instantly red and her eyes moved immediately down to the table. The silence started to pile up, and Blake shifted in her chair. "Y-you always call yourself a bisexual disaster. What does it mean to… How did you know you were…"
Mr. Qrow swore, a curse bad enough that she looked up, saw him rubbing his stubble and leaning back in his chair. "You know I'm probably the worst person to ask about this kind of stuff, right?" he asked. "You're dad's some kind of community organizer, isn't he? You gotta know some kind of group or something to help you with this kind of shit."
Blake shook her head. She'd been afraid to ask, afraid it would get back to her dad, afraid of what he'd say.
Mr. Qrow took a long breath through his nose. "You tell anyone yet?"
Blake shook her head. "I don't know if it's really me or not," she said.
"Questioning, then?"
"I guess…"
Mr. Qrow nodded. "I'm still the worst guy for this, but okay. How much they teach you in sex ed?"
"Just that LGBT exists," Blake said. "We got into it in middle school, I think, but I didn't think that was me, because I was dating…" She shook her head again. "But since last year I've noticed… and I don't know what to think. I mean… my counselor says Adam was… it was all traumatizing. Is this because I'm damaged?"
"Get that thought out of your head right now," Mr. Qrow said, his voice a little loud. "That was me the first four years before I figured out I really was bi, and then I had to screw up the courage to tell my sister. You are what you are now. The before and the after doesn't count worth shit."
She winced at the swear but took the meaning to heart. "Is it something that changes, then?" she asked.
"Hell no," Mr. Qrow said, giving a gusty sigh. "Look, it's like this… Jesus, how do I explain this…?"
Blake wanted to sink into the floor, embarrassed she was causing someone this much discomfort. She squirmed, looking down again.
"Okay you're not just straight, gay, or bi - you can be somewhere in between. I'm bi, but I lean pretty gay. When I was younger I wanted just about anything that moved if they were hot, and I did just about anything that moved, too. I was young and stupid and did a lot of stupid stuff to hide how screwed up I was. I did a lot of growing up the hard way, you can't look to me for all that much good advice."
"That's what I don't understand," Blake said. "How do I know if it's good or bad advice? I thought Adam… I thought I was getting good advice, and it turned out to be anything but good."
"That's different," Mr. Qrow said, "and has nothing to do with you being bi or questioning or somewhere in the middle. You had the hots for the bastard, fine. Have you had the hots for a girl?"
Yang, sitting on Professor Ozpin's front porch, a few weeks before school ended. "... yes," she admitted.
"Then for now you're bi. If you find out later you're a lesbian, then that's fine too. If you decide later you're still bi, but lean straight, then who the hell cares? The labels aren't there to define you, they're there to describe you. I went through a lot of labels before I figured out which ones were me. Oz over there uses a metric ton of labels to describe himself if you ask him - and he uses like three different scales; it's insane, but he likes it because he feels it's right. That's the biggest thing: it has to be right for you. You can't let anyone tell you 'you gotta be this' or 'you gotta be that' or 'you can't be this.' That's outside noise for now and isn't worth the breath it's wasted on. It's gotta come from the inside."
"Okay, but… when will I know for sure?"
"The hell if I know," Mr. Qrow said, leaning forward onto the table. "You'll know when you know. Don't expect to wake up one morning and say, 'yep, I figured it all out.' I got grey in my hair and sometimes I still wonder if I'm gay and not bi. Then a hot waitress walks by and I remember that I never changed."
"So you still notice? Even with Professor Ozpin?"
"Notice? Yeah, but care? No. Not when you're with someone special."
That was sweet, and Blake smiled in spite of herself. She felt more comfortable. "How does… what does the physical stuff… how does that work?"
Mr. Qrow swore again, scratching at the back of his head and leaning back. "I figure we save that for when you're older. You're still a freshman."
"Sophomore, technically."
"School hasn't started up again yet. Nice try." He paused, frowning. "Look, feel what you gotta feel, explore when you feel strong enough you think you're gonna go nuts - but do it with someone who's safe, keep protection on you all the time and just… let the rest work itself out. I'm really not the best guy to tell you how to do this."
"... then… when did you know you were in love?"
"Jesus… ask your parents that one. Or one of the professor's philosophy books. They write freakin's songs about it, and you forget I'm a disaster."
"... You never seem like much of a disaster," Blake said softly. "I always thought you were pretty put together."
"Yeah? Well, it's easy to look put together in front of kids - you guys expect us to be and we can fake it pretty easily. You're not old enough yet for some of my real disaster stories - even Yang and Ruby don't know all of it - but don't think my cool-rough-and-tumble-uncle act was something I always was able to do. That Yang can tell you about; she's old enough to remember. Anything else?"
"... can I talk to you when… when I need to?"
Mr. Qrow winced. "I'm not gonna say no, but look for somebody better in the meantime. Your parents are your best bet."
"Absolutely not," Blake said, shaking her head and vehement. "I've put them through too much. I can't… I already have a counselor and they…"
"Then talk to the counselor. Tai will tell anyone who'll listen: you learn a lot in therapy, and that includes stuff about yourself. My sponsor Clover did more for me in six months than two years of me being drunk could throw together. And those aren't stories I'll ever share." He stood, and Blake followed suit.
"Thank you, Mr. Qrow," she said.
"Just Qrow is fine," Mr.-Qrow said, waving a hand. "You guys are getting old enough where it's almost okay."
Blake followed Qrow back to Professor Ozpin, watching him lean down to kiss his boyfriend before leaving the eatery and finding Yang and the others. They were still with the kids, Ruby and Weiss arguing over something, and Blake took her spot next to Yang, yet again pulling off her sandals and curling into her close friend.
"You tell Uncle Qrow everything you needed?"
"Yeah," Blake said, smiling. "And he told me a few things, too."
Oscar wiped the sweat from his brow and let out a breath. He was in the garage with Qrow in an attempt to stay out of the searing August heat. Before Qrow had lost his job, once Oscar's dad was off to teach the summer classes, Qrow had come to him about repairing his dad's cane. The one he was currently using was four inches too short and it showed, with how his dad hunched. Initially the idea had been to simply find a good hard wood, paint it and apply the decorative ornaments. But Oscar had suggested a retractable cane like the vision impaired would use. After all, Oscar knew people who weren't as aware could trip over the cane, if his dad leaned it against something because he'd be sitting for a while. His dad even made a habit of holding the cane when not sitting to avoid such accidents.
Qrow had latched onto the idea and while Oscar's dad was at work, they looked up designs and all kinds of math for durability and how to test if a design could hold weight when it needed to be hollow. They had first experimented with the materials around and Qrow had eventually dragged him over to the Xiao Long house where the garage had all kinds of tools. Qrow had taken the metal ornaments and cleaned and polished them to a silvery shine. Once they had found a design that worked, it was about finding a good material. The home improvement store had a wide array of metal cylinders, but finding the right circumference and thickness was difficult. Aluminum was light, but dented too easily. Copper wouldn't come wide enough, steel was too heavy, pvc piping didn't cut easily, and everything came in standard sizes that didn't match with the diameter of the cane or that it tapered ever so slightly. It wasn't like they had access to a complete shop to machine what they needed.
They had spent the better part of the summer at the home improvement store, going through the plumbing section first, buying small samples to play with before going back the next day to try some more.
"It's too customized," Qrow growled, "because that handle has to be, what, a hundred years old?"
Oscar shrugged. "Don't know," he said. "Dad inherited a lot of things from the family when Grandpa died. Mom loved having all the antiques everywhere in the house. She said it made everything look rich. We had a Steinway piano that was about a hundred years old. I kinda remember Dad playing when I was a toddler. He left it all behind when we came here. All he took were some photo albums and books and his cane. In the pictures you can see all kinds of old things. An Ansonia clock from the 1890s, a hope chest with a sulfur inlay that Dad said was two hundred years old... Dad had a lot of history that he inherited and he knew all the stories." Oscar looked down another aisle. "Can we work with wood?"
Qrow scowled. "I was hoping not to. I don't work with wood very often. Come on, let's look at the lumber. Pressure treated might be best in case your dad gets caught in a storm, but a good coat of polyurethane would probably be better on a hardwood. A good hardwood can take a lot of scuffing and abuse and not show any real damage."
So they'd bought a four by four and cut it to chunks to work with and spent another three days going through all those chunks to get the pattern and fitting they were doing right.
"Measure twice, cut once, Oscar."
Covered in sawdust and sneezing, Oscar could only nod.
By the end of July, they had all the pieces and they could interlock easily to both lock straight and lock collapsed. They had fixed a temporary pommel and were whacking it around to test durability when Qrow swore.
"What?" Oscar asked, taking their design and examining it. "Did something break?"
"No, but we aren't thinking."
"What?" Oscar gave a flat look.
"You're dad once said he had a bad arm as well as a bad leg?"
"Yeah. It's not that noticeable so why...oh." Oscar looked at the design and scowled at it. It was designed to be a tight fit so that it locked into place easily, but that meant it took effort to twist and extend it or twist and collapse it. Yeah, his dad would could do it now, but Oscar wanted this cane to last. As his dad got older, would he be able to? When he was in his seventies or eighties?
"What about a click pen?" Oscar asked.
"A what?"
Oscar grabbed the pen they'd been using to mark the wood for cutting down and clicked it so that the ballpoint was out then in then out then in. "Like this?"
Qrow stared at it, then smiled. "Wanna break it apart and see how it works?"
That brought another two days at the store, looking at springs and gears.
"We can't have the button for this so low," Oscar said. "It's below the handle."
Qrow looked at him seriously. "We'd have to modify the handle. That's a hundred years old, right?"
Oscar froze as he realized what Qrow was essentially asking. He was asking for Oscar's permission to modify something that his dad held dear. He hesitated, but thinking of his dad hunching with that cane that was four inches too short was enough for Oscar. "We'll do it."
Qrow nodded solemnly.
More designs and fails later, they ended with adding more to the handle, both a sort of knuckle guard that was actually the lever for extending or retracting, and at the base of the pommel the necessary gears to embed the mechanism. Qrow welded and polished it all back to the silvery shine and Oscar screwed on the metal base they'd made to avoid the ground wearing away at the wood. The spring was threaded, the expanded handle screwed on, and Qrow handed it to Oscar. "You try it out first."
Smiling, Oscar clicked the knuckle guard and watched the cane extend out to the proper length. Clicking the knuckle guard again had it retracting. It had some heft but it wasn't impossibly heavy and it worked perfectly. "It's perfect."
Qrow smiled, and rubbed sweaty sawdust from his face. "We're heading home, taking a goddamn shower, and then you have to tell me how we're going to give it to your Dad."
In the end, Oscar didn't really have a set plan on how to deliver it. He'd been so focused all summer on just making it that the delivery hadn't really occurred to him. He kept it upstairs in his room for the moment and was setting up to make dinner when Qrow finally came out of the shower, in jeans and shirtless, running a towel through his hair.
"Qrow…" Oscar admonished. "Do you have to be half naked?"
Qrow shrugged. "I tend to be shirtless at home in the summer. I've moved in. It's another thing for you to get used to. Besides, the house is too stuffy. Did the air conditioner break again?"
Oscar shook his head. "No. It just takes a while to cool off. We were at Mr. Tai's all day."
Qrow nodded. He was about to say something when they heard the garage door.
"Dad's home!"
"You want to give him the cane tonight?"
Oscar nodded and raced up to his room to get it. His dad was sitting in his usual chair and Qrow was massaging the bad leg. The too-short cane was, Oscar noted, out of his dad's reach and he buried his smirk.
"Thank you, Qrow," his dad said softly, eyes closed as he let the massage relax him.
"Rough day, Oz?"
His dad let out a low hum. "Just one student. Stubbornly said that I didn't grade his paper fairly. I told him to take it up with the department head, but he made a scene."
Oscar came over, the cane hidden in the small of his back. "Hey, Dad."
As always, his dad gave a bright smile at seeing him. "Oscar," he grinned. "You and Qrow have both showered. I take it the two of you had a busy day again?"
"Yup!" Oscar moved behind his dad to the kitchen to finish getting dinner going. He silently placed the new cane on his dad's plate. Qrow saw from where he was still massaging and gave a grin and a wink. Qrow kept getting his dad to talk about his day while Oscar cooked and then Oscar brought the plates over.
"Ah, we're eating around the coffee table?" his dad asked. "That's a rare treat. Is there an occasion I missed?"
And Oscar set down his dad's plate with the new retracted cane.
Silence. Open shock. "What?"
"It was Oscar's idea," Qrow said.
But Oscar took the cane and clicked the knuckle guard, letting the cane extend. His dad's mouth dropped and Oscar, smiling brightly, clicked again to let it retract.
"Oh," his dad said softly, then reached out and Oscar obediently came over for the hug. He was crushed into the embrace and Oscar may have been smiling like and idiot, and his father may have been euphoric, and there may have been a lot of hugs and kisses passed around. Oscar may have felt really proud. A few tears of joy may have been shed.
But all around…
Oscar considered everything a success.
Two weeks at school was all it took to drive Yang nuts: it was like every girl on the planet decided to get hot over the summer - she remembered Pyrrha as this tiny little redhead in middle school but now that she was a freshman she was tall and lean and the first time Yang saw her in gym class she was so red she thought she'd suffer heat stroke. Nora suddenly had a chest and hips, and Blake must have gone up two cup sizes or something - and she was with her for half the summer! Shiny lip gloss made her blush and thick hair made her fingers twitch. She tried to play it off, but the only guy who was kind of hot was Ren, and that was because he looked like a girl with his long tresses of black hair and the stylish pink streak.
When she saw Velvet, one of the upperclassmen, walking by during lunch and jiggling, she had to admit the truth.
When she got home she asked Dad to call a family meeting, that there was something she needed to say. Dad looked at her, confused, but Ruby was smiling. Yang hid in their room, waiting for Uncle Qrow to show up, but Ruby came in and sat next to her.
"Can I guess?" she said, "Can I guess?"
"Uh, sure?"
"You're about to come out."
"Wha…?" Yang stared at her sister, surprised. "You know?"
"Well, yeah."
Yang shook her head. "Are you bothered by it?" she asked.
"Why?" Ruby countered, leaning in with a smile. "Uncle Qrow is a Bi-Disaster, remember? He's talked about dating all kinds of people, so this is nothing new."
And… Yang smiled, reaching out to rub her knuckles into Ruby's hair. "That's my favorite sister!" she said, giggling.
"Ow! Hey! No fair!"
They laughed, and it wasn't long before Uncle Qrow came with Professor Ozpin and Oscar in tow.
"Wait, them, too?" Yang asked.
Qrow leveled a flat look. "Yeah," he said. "You said a family meeting. They're family. Don't tell me you suddenly stopped shipping us?"
Yang made a face. "It hurts to hear you say stuff like that," she said. "You're too old."
"I suppose by that logic I must have one foot in the grave," Professor Ozpin said lightly as he sat down and put his leg up.
"I'm still confused on what a family meeting is," Oscar said. "I've never had one before."
"Yes you have; when we get ice cream."
Oscar's eyes widened, and he sat much straighter. "How bad?" he asked, suddenly so serious.
Dad sat on his side of the couch, Uncle Qrow next to the professor. Ruby stood behind the couch, and behind the adults she gave a pair of encouraging thumbs up.
Nerves suddenly overtook Yang, and she found herself shifting on her feet, trying to find the right words. "It's just…" She took a breath, and dove in with both feet. "I'm a lesbian," she said, putting her hands on her hips.
Oscar was the only one who looked shocked, eyes doubling in size and looking to his dad for some kind of response. Ruby hopped on her feet and Qrow just crossed a leg. "Is that all?" he asked, bored. "I coulda told you that back in sixth grade," he said.
"Shut up, this is big for her," Dad said. He got up and smiled, warm and pulling her to a hug. "We love you so much! My sunny dragon!"
"Wait… that's it?" Yang asked. "You're not…"
"Not what?" Uncle Qrow asked. "Did you seriously think we were gonna disapprove or something? You forget I'm a Bi-Disaster? Or the annual Pride Parade?"
"No!" Yang said, still being squeezed by her dad. "But this isn't exactly easy you know! Do you have any idea how long I've been struggling with this?"
"Not half as long as we've been waiting," Uncle Qrow said smoothly.
"Ugh, you are so frustrating!"
"I think you mean to say, 'so welcoming,'" Uncle Qrow prompted.
"Shh, Qrow, let her have her moment," Professor Ozpin said. He turned and smiled. "We're very proud you felt comfortable to come out so soon and to so many at once. It's not an easy task, and we respect the courage you've just demonstrated."
"Yeah," Dad said, finally pulling back, wide smile on his face. "You have a lot ahead of you, but you'll always be safe here, and all we want is for you to be happy." He hugged her again, lifting her slightly off the ground. "We gotta celebrate! We'll throw a party this weekend - hey we can invite all the girls!"
"Dad," Yang hissed, horrified. "Don't to that!"
"Oh," he said, finally letting her go. "You already got a girlfriend?"
"Oh my god what's wrong with both of you!" Yang said, hands flying to her face. "I only just came out to you!"
"I suspect this implies that we are the only ones she is out to," Professor Ozpin suggested, "and isn't yet comfortable announcing it to the world."
"Oh, sweetie! You chose us first! I'm so happy!"
"Wait, I'm confused," Oscar said, raising his hand like they were in class. "Why is this even a big deal? I mean, I'm surprised and all, but, but why was Yang so stressed?"
The adults stared at Oscar for a second, and Yang squirmed a little bit, because she knew the stories. Ruby seemed to understand, too, but then the professor wrapped an arm around his son.
"You're absolutely right," he said, "It shouldn't be a big deal; you are wise beyond your years, Oscar."
"Okay, I got the delivery numbers, who wants Thai?"
"Tai ordering Thai? Didn't know you were that into yourself."
"Qrow, I'm still the token straight guy here, be nice."
"Wait, why just Mr. Tai - what does that mean about Ruby? Wait, what does that mean about me? Do you guys know something I don't?"
Uncle Qrow burst out laughing, the professor hiding his grin, but Dad was dialing and Yang felt so much better. "Okay," she explained, "Kids are off limits because we're not actually aware of what we are on the spectrum yet. As far as anyone knows, you and Ruby are still Qs, Questioning."
"Huh? I thought the Q meant queer…?"
"We took you to a Pride Parade, how do you not know any of this?"
"Look, I'm still pretty new to this…"
"Imagine being a new lesbian, then," Yang said, ruffling his hair. "Everyone around me is so hot I don't know what to do."
"On the up side we won't have to pay for birth control," Dad said brightly, making Yang turn bright red, "But we should still make sure you start carrying protection." Then he paused, a thought occurring to him. "Yang Xiao Long! You're still fifteen! You're not dating anyone for another year!"
"Dad, seriously, what the hell! I finally decide to come out and you're already patrolling my nonexistent love life?"
"I'm your father," he said sternly. "I only want what's best for you, and that means no dating until you're sixteen. Some hussy might take advantage of my beautiful little girl."
"That's assuming she doesn't hook up with Blake first," Uncle Qrow said, making Yang turn even redder. "See that face? I want all of you to know I predicted it, and I am going to rub your face in it."
"Uncle Qrow!" Ruby protested. "We didn't rub your face when we told you about Professor Ozpin!"
"That's 'cause you're kids. Adults have executive privilege - especially family - to tease teenagers."
"Wait, do they really?"
"It's news to me, Oscar," the professor said lightly, "but it would appear that I have several years of backlog to make up for. I wonder, where should I start with teasing? You've presented so many opportunities…"
"Dad…"
"Yang, you don't know you have a crush on Blake?"
"Ruby!"
"Okay, delivery will be here in forty minutes," Dad said, getting off the phone. "Now that that's settled, we get to embarrass you. Do you have a type yet?"
"What is wrong with this family?"
"I've been asking that ever since I confessed my interest to Qrow, Miss Xiao Long; I've yet to find an answer."
"You are no help."
"I fear that in these circumstances, I'm not supposed to be. Instead I shall refrain from comment."
Uncle Qrow turned to the professor. "You don't want in on the action, Oz?"
"No, no, please, do continue. I believe being a spectator will be sufficiently entertaining. Oscar, too."
"I still don't get why this is such a big deal," Oscar said, turning to his dad, "You coming out, I understood."
"Move over, Oscar, I'm sitting next to you to watch the show. Hey, maybe we should get popcorn!"
"Ruby, you too?"
"Don't worry Yang," her traitorous sister said brightly. "Once I know what I am I give you permission to tease me just as badly."
"You're all evil!"
"Still haven't told us your type, firecracker."
Yang covered her face and admitted defeat.
Author's Notes: Aaaaaaa the fluff! We're actually spinning up some arcs, Blake and Yang's respective second halves of their arcs interact with each other and so their plates tend to spin together. Qrow gets to interact with someone who isn't Oz or family, and we pretend we know anything about being bi - we don't, but we tried to be as accurate as wikipedia would allow us. Like with Oz when we talked about him being demi, if anyone out there is bi and finds a mistake in Qrow's advice, let us know so we can improve as authors in future fics.
We also find an activity Qrow and Oscar can do together to bond: fix Oz's cane so it looks like it does in the show. Now that Oscar's accepted Qrow this kind of project comes more readily, and we get to touch on Oz's age by referencing that he had a lot of heirlooms and antiques that were left behind after his and Oscar's escape.
And we made Yang's coming out story as fluffy and funny as possible. Several students have told us that coming out is really stressful, and since this fic is self-indulgence first we wanted a moment of stress to instead be as happy and positive as we could. God knows we're doing enough to all these poor characters that they deserve all the fluff we can give them.
Hope everyone had a happy and most importantly SAFE Thanksgiving!
Next chapter: Blake and the Phantom Drama. It's a heavy hitter, guys...
