AUTHOR'S NOTE: Inspired by the countless hours I've played Poker Night at the Inventory and Poker Night 2. RIP Telltale Games. You bit the dust but good.
"Good luck to you all, and may the best hero or sidekick win," said One, nodding across the table to Fenton Crackshell, Donald Duck, Drake Mallard and finally, Launchpad McQuack.
"Hope you're all ready for me to become $100 richer," said Drake, puffing his chest out and wiping his knuckles on his sweater vest.
"We'll see about that, Drake," sneered Donald.
"I hope I do good, though I'm not the best at this kind of numbers game," said Launchpad with a shrug.
"Don't worry, Launchpad," smiled Fenton. "There's not much to it. I know you'll be playing like a pro in no time!"
One's nimble android fingers quickly dispensed two cards to each duck. They all studied them carefully before setting them beside their 10,000 point chip piles. Fenton was dealer first, and Donald and Drake had already paid their blinds.
"Your call, Mr. McQuack," said One.
Launchpad tossed in 200 points. "Sure."
"Me too!" said Fenton, following suit.
Donald looked at his hand once more, before shaking his head and shoving it towards One. "Nah."
"Come, come, Donny, you're never going to win like that," said Drake, tapping two fingers on the table to check.
"The game's just begun, Drake."
The flop was dealt to the middle of the table. Five of Hearts, King of Spades, Seven of Clubs.
Fenton looked pleased. Drake was deep in thought. Launchpad just looked puzzled.
"Over to you, Mr, Mallard," said One.
"Let's seeā¦" Drake looked at his hand then back at the flop. His eyes narrowed and his fingers tapped on the table edge.
"You okay, Drake-a-roo?" asked Fenton.
Drake seemed to snap out of his stupor. "Huh? Just fine, Fentonino," he said, moving his hand toward his chips. "In fact, I feel about this fine." He shoved a pile of chips toward the center.
Fenton gulped.
"2,200 point bet," said One, having counted the pile with just a glance.
"The purple purveyor of protection makes his move! How will his opponents react?"
Launchpad took a moment to count his chips but decided to call his hero.
Fenton's shoulders slumped, and he gave his hand to One.
Drake chuckled deviously as Donald shook his head. "You know, LP, it's perfectly alright if you want to fold."
"Thanks, DW, but I think I feel pretty good about this," said Launchpad, putting up his call.
Drake cleared his throat as One made change from the large pile. When he finished, the turn card was revealed to be a Two of Clubs.
"...Check," said Drake.
"Wha? What's that mean again?"
"It's when you don't bet anything and pass your turn, Launchpad," Fenton replied.
"Okay, then. I'll do that."
One flipped over one more card and placed it with the others. The river was a Five of Diamonds.
Drake gave Launchpad a smug look. "I'll take it easy on you, LP. How about just 800?"
"I guess that's not too bad." Launchpad called.
"Very well. Let's see your hands, you two."
With a knowing smile, Drake flipped over his hand. Ten of Spades and Seven of Diamonds. "Yehp yehp yehp," Drake sighed, stretching. "That pot's as good as mine."
Launchpad turned his hand over. Five of Spades and Four of Hearts.
"Launchpad wins with a Three of a Kind!"
Drake looked at his sidekick, eyes wide. It took him a moment to gather his words. "How'd you get that?"
Launchpad shrugged. "Beginner's luck, I guess."
Drake was mildly dumbfounded.
Donald started sniggering, failing at keeping it to himself.
"Oh, don't start, Donald! You folded!"
The game continued on from there. Fenton folded often and always bet conservatively, but seemed to hold his own well. Donald and Drake were the two big betters at the table, either winning big or losing big. Launchpad seemed to always win with amazing hands and nobody could believe it.
Either he was an amazing bluffer, he was winning by accident, or the luck of Donald's cousin, Gladstone, had it in for everyone else. Or so Donald said.
It was much later in the night. Donald was in the lead, and everyone else was not far behind. The flop was a Six of Hearts, a King of Spades and a Ten of Spades. The room had been silent as everyone stared at those cards.
"Alright," Drake declared, standing up from his chair. "Time to make the final move." He wagged his tail and shoved his entire pile of chips into the center. "All in!"
Fenton yelped like he'd seen a ghost. Drake crossed his arms and shot a confident gaze in the accountant's direction.
Launchpad clapped. "Swell move, DW! I think I'm gonna do that too." He too shoved his pile into Drake's, and all watched the chips cascade amongst themselves until the table was a mess.
"Well, how is the great Gizmoduck going to stack up against the odds?" said Drake.
Fenton wiped sweat from his brow and swallowed. "Like this: I'm all in too!"
Drake started to tap his foot. "Um, Donny?"
"Oh boy, I've been waiting for this," said Donald. He also added his pile to the mix.
Thus, the final showdown was set. All revealed their hands. A pair of Aces for Fenton, a Four and Seven of Spades for Donald, a pair of Tens for Drake and a Queen and Jack of Hearts for Launchpad.
One dealt the turn: a Three of Diamonds.
Fenton shielded his eyes. Donald started hopping up and down. Drake whacked the table edge in anticipation. Launchpad twiddled his thumbs.
One looked at each duck, recognizing the tension in the air, then slowly reached for the deck, picked up one card and turned it over.
Ace of Spades.
"WAK!" Donald screeched.
"What in the world?!" Drake exclaimed.
"Great googly moogly!" shouted Fenton.
"...what?" asked Launchpad, confused.
"ROYAL FLUSH?!" all three exclaimed, pointing at Launchpad's cards.
Now that was a hand Launchpad was familiar with. "Well, whaddaya know? Does that mean I won?"
All the other ducks fainted.
Launchpad looked at One. "Gee, that didn't answer my question."
One could only shake his head and simulate a laugh.
