A New Chapter! Believe it or not I've had this chapter mostly completed what seems like years ago, and I thought it's where I left off. But recently got a flood of reviews and favorites (and challenged by the GF that I would never update this again), so I decided to take a look at it. Sorry for that forever cliffhanger.

I make no promises about my next update...we all know I can't be responsible.

ENJOY.


JJ scrubs her hands roughly under the warm running water. Again. She's lost count of how many times she's stepped into the bathroom to do this.

She knows her best friend's blood was washed down the drain on the first wash. It had taken her twenty minutes of scrubbing to be sure she was rid of every red blemish. Those twenty minutes had felt like hours as she inspected her hands and forearms a dozen times to make sure she was free of any trace of blood.

She's restless. How could she not be? She's been running on adrenaline since meeting back up with the team, and that adrenaline only increased as they closed in on Doyle's location and went after Emily. And skyrocketed when she saw the brunette.

Now, they're all just waiting. For Emily to make it out of surgery.

JJ's phone pings with a message.

Turning off the tap and drying her hands, JJ pulls her phone from her pocket. She sighs as she reads the text.

With a new purpose, JJ exits the bathroom and makes her way to the packed waiting room.

"Hotch. A word?"

Hotch immediately follows JJ out of the room.

"They're close," JJ informs him.

"Do you want me to go?" Hotch asks.

"No, no, you should stay here. And I- ," JJ falters. "I think I should be there for her."

"If you're sure."

"Yeah," JJ agrees. "Yeah. Just let me know if anything changes."

"Of course."


JJ clenches and unclenches her fists around the steering wheel as she waits. With an exhausted sigh, she gets out of the SUV. She leans against the front of the car as she recognizes the droning sound that gets closer and closer.

She spots the nose of the plane as it moves toward the hangar.

As the plane stations in the hangar and the stairs descend, JJ realizes she has no idea how she's going to explain these last hours.

It was good to see Rachel with her own eyes, though. Safe and no longer in danger.

JJ smiles and pulls the author into a hug as soon as she clears the plane's last step.

"It's so good to see you," JJ says.

"You too," Rachel remarks. She pulls away. "How is she?"

JJ pulls away and looks between her friend's wife and mother, who had made her way off the plane. Matt stands not too far away - giving the women space, but within earshot.

"She was still in surgery when I left."

"And Doyle?" The ambassador asks.

"I'll fill you in at the hospital. Meg and the Montgomery's are there also."

"Already? Oh god, it's bad, isn't it?" Rachel panics.

JJ takes her by the shoulders. "Listen to me: she's in surgery and getting the best care. I'm gonna take you there for now and then we'll head to the hotel."

"What? No. I need to be at the hospital. With Emily," Rachel's words rush out.

"You need to rest. You've been through a trying experience, Rach."

"So has she. I need to be there."

"She's still in surgery. There's nothing we can do for her there. But what I can do for her is keep you safe and comfortable. Which you won't be at the hospital."

"I don't care about that, JJ!" Rachel's left hand runs over her face as her right rests on her abdomen. "My wife just - she -," she takes a shuddering breath as her mother-in-law rubs her shoulder. "I know it was bad, JJ. You tried to downplay it before, but I could tell. And I could just feel it. She could die," Rachel chokes on the last word.

JJ pulls the author into another hug. "Emily didn't quit fighting when she was with Doyle and she won't quit now."

"She'd never give up on getting back to you or any of us," the older Prentiss adds.

"I know," Rachel acknowledges quietly as she pulls away from the hug. "But if she doesn't have a choice, I just want us all to be together."

"Emily would want me to make sure you're okay," JJ starts. "And I know none of this is okay, but I really think she wouldn't want you in the hospital overnight," JJ says softly. "If anything happens, I'll bring you back."

"That sounds like a good compromise," the ambassador interjects before a new protest from the author. "Rachel, you're still running on a bit of adrenaline. You need to rest. For the baby and Emily." Elizabeth cups her daughter-in-law's face between her hands. "Everything will feel better after you sleep. And I'm sure Emily will be out of surgery when you wake up. But Emily would not want you and the baby folded up and sleeping in some waiting room chair.

"Fine," Rachel concedes. "But we're back as soon as anything happens?"

"As soon as anything happens," JJ promises.

"Alright." Rachel gets into the car and the ambassador follows.

"Is your team coming, Matt?" JJ asks.

"No, it's okay. I'll rotate out and send a few your way just to be safe, but I don't want to crowd you guys. Just let me know what happens?"

"Of course." JJ hugs him before heading to the SUV.


Hospital

The waiting room is silent. Everyone in their own thoughts.

Meg looks around at all of her friend's family. She has to smile – a small one. Honestly, it shows up on her face whenever she's around both the Montgomerys and Emily's team at the same time. Because this is all Emily wanted when they were growing up. A true family. A loving one.

One that wore their love on every part of their body and wasn't afraid to show it - to say it. The Montgomerys.

Emily learned and was still learning how to speak the words 'I love you' and it was because of them. When they were younger, she remembers, Emily would narrow her eyes at mothers or fathers saying I love you to their kids. And then roll her eyes when the kids said it back.

They'd talked about it one day.

They'd slipped away from their detail - or so they thought at the time. And ended up at a park. Sitting at the park's picnic table, they watched a kids' soccer game in the distance. Once the whistle signaled the end of the game, their vicinity was full of parents, children, kisses on cheeks, praise, hair ruffling, and those dreaded three words. Fourteen-year-old Meg studied her friend on the bench from her perch on the table top.

"I like people watching," Meg starts.

"I know."

"I think I like watching kids the most."

"Should I warn the police?"

"Shut up." Meg nudges the brunette with her foot. "Do you think we were ever kids?"

"Do you seriously need me to explain to you how aging works?"

"I mean, were we ever normal kids?"

"You're not a normal anything," Emily says with a cheeky smile to her friend.

"Why do I ever try to talk to you?"

"I've been trying to figure that out since we met."

Meg nudges her again. "God, you're such a jerk."

Emily laughs. "Alright, alright, what's your point?"

"Watching their freedom is inspiring. They just go with the flow and do their own thing when they're playing. They don't push expectations and they don't judge."

"I remember you being judgey. You wouldn't let me play with dolls with you because you said I 'wasn't doing it right'."

"You literally always wanted Ken to die in some way related to what I had Barbie doing. If she was a lifeguard, he drowned in their pool while she was working. If she was a racer driver, he dies in a car accident going three miles an hour. Oh, and don't forget when I had her as a baker, and you said he tripped and fell into the oven and died."

Emily laughs. "I thought that was pretty good. Plus, all you had to do was let me bring Stacey over when Ken was out of the picture and she and Barbie could have gotten together."

"Stacey had her own life!"

"Yeah, waiting for Barbie to come to her senses. Ken was a loser, hanging onto Barbie's coattails."

"Oh my god." Meg rolls her eyes.

"See? Still judgey." Emily smirks.

"Anyway," Meg says pointedly. "My point is kids wear their hearts on their sleeves. I don't think we've ever been like that."

"Probably because it's not meant to be like that. Everyone shouldn't be able to tell what you're feeling just by looking at you. There's a reason our parents aren't like that."

"Maybe they should be. When's the last time one of your parents said they loved you?"

"Hmm," Emily thinks. "When I played that Chopin piece for the Ambassador of France a few weeks ago."

"Doesn't that seem a bit... conditional?"

"No. It's just how it is."

"I feel like I hope my parents love me," Meg states. "But when I come to the park and people watch I realize something: Love isn't something you should just hope another person has for you. You should know it. And kids - they let you know. I think love is a reciprocal thing. You can feel it all you want, but it works best when you say it. When you tell someone it. When you let them know. And they let you know back."

Emily is quiet as she stares out at the park. Meg lets her be. Two women walk past - holding hands and talking intimately with smiles.

"Seems like showing off to me."

Meg's grateful for what the Montgomerys have given her best friend.

She looks over to Emily's other family - the other kind of family she knew the brunette wanted when they were growing up. One where each member showed their love in their actions.

Her BAU Team. What more could you say about this team? Emily had a rough start on the team, but it was no secret that any person on this team would go to hell and back for her. And she would do the same for any of them. They had proven it time and time again.

Before she can dwell any further - and she knows where her thoughts would lead – she's pulled out of her thoughts by the appearance of JJ and Emily's wife and mother.

Meg and Rachel's mother are on their feet in an instance. Meg pulling the Ambassador in for a hug while Caroline does the same with her daughter.

"Where's Hotch?" JJ asks noticing he isn't there.

"The lead surgeon just pulled him away," Rossi answers.

"Do you know anything?" Rachel asks desperately, pulling away from her mother. Caroline pulls her daughter down to sit between her and her husband. Luke squeezes his daughter's hand in support.

"No, not yet."

"What happened to Doyle?" Rachel can feel eyes laser focused on her talk with Rossi. In her peripheral vision, she sees Derek studying them.

In the briefest of moments, Rossi's eyes shift toward Derek. "Don't worry about him," Rossi answers. "He's gone for good."

"Is there a chance of retaliation?" The eldest Prentiss questions from the seat next to Meg.

"We don't believe so," this time Spencer answers.

Before anyone can respond, Hotch is back. All eyes are on him.

"She's out of surgery. There were some complications; she pulled through, but her condition is still critical. They're putting her in surgical ICU now."

Everyone breathes a sigh of relief seemingly in tandem.

"When can we see her?" the ambassador questions before anyone else.

"Not tonight. It is ICU, so they have their protocols, but some time tomorrow, after she's had a little time to recover, they are willing to reassess the situation."

This information is met with silence. No one knows how to respond or what to do. Their only option once again is waiting.

"I suggest you all head back to the hotel -" Hotch tries.

"I'm staying," Derek declares.

"Derek, there's nothing you can do here," Rossi comments.

"I know, but still."

"Alright, then," Hotch concedes. "But for everyone else some rest will do us all some good."

Everyone numbly starts to gather their belongings. Rossi organizes who will ride with whom back to the hotel while JJ, Derek, and Hotch whisper among themselves.

Rachel stares at Hotch as he talks. She can tell he knows she's watching him even as he continues his conversation. Her vision of him is blocked when Rylan approaches and pulls her into as tight a hug as they can manage with her baby bump between them.

"She'll be okay, Ray," he whispers into her ear.

"I hope so."

"Everything will be better tomorrow," he promises.

Ashley steps in to wrap her arms around her fiancé and best friend.

"Don't you ever lie to me like that again," Ashley says. "You, your wife, and I are going to have a serious talk when she wakes up."

"She was just -." Rachel starts.

"Nope, no. Don't you try to make me see reason. I'm going to be completely irrational for our talk and that's it."

Rachel chuckles despite herself. "Okay."

She pulls away from her brother and best friend and locks eyes with Hotch as he's watching the group comfort each other as they make their exit.

"I'll see you guys at the hotel." She makes her way over to the BAU's leader. "Hotch, can we talk?"

"Rachel, I'm not going to let you stay here overnight. You need a bed," Hotch explains gently.

"No, it's not about that. And I already tried with JJ, and no offense, but she scares me a tiny bit more than you," Rachel says with a tiny smile.

"Well, she's always been our secret weapon."

Rachel fidgets for a moment, playing with the rings on her left hand and not looking at Hotch.

"What would you like to talk about?" Hotch starts for her.

"Maybe we should - can we talk privately?"

Hotch studies the author for a moment before he calls out to JJ who's talking to Derek and waiting for Rachel. "JJ, I'll get Rachel back for you."

JJ looks between the two and nods. "Let me know when you're on your way." She squeezes Derek's arm in comfort before leaving the hospital waiting room.

"When did you last eat?" Hotch asks Rachel.

"I had some fruit on the plane."

"A meal," Hotch clarifies. At Rachel's thoughtful expression, Hotch continues, "Any cravings yet?"

"French fries. All the time," Rachel answers with a roll of her eyes and shake of her head.

"Alright," he says. He turns to Derek, who is already slumped down in a chair. "Vending machine's down the hall." He points to his right. Derek nods in acknowledgment and Hotch ushers Rachel out of the hospital waiting room.


Diner

The waitress leaves them with a quick, amused smile after delivering their order to their table. Rachel can tell Hotch is desperately trying to hide his mirth at the spread on the table. He doesn't show it on his face, of course, but Rachel knows. It's in his eyes.

Rachel's side of the table holds a spread of a cheeseburger with a mound of shoestring fries and four additional baskets of french fries - two of curly fries and two of steak fries. In front of Hotch, is only his burger and fry combination, which Rachel knows he only ordered to be polite and hasn't even given a real look. The bastard.

Hotch cuts his burger in half as he watches the author do the same as she munches on a few curly fries.

"How is it?" He asks after she takes a bite of her burger.

"So good," Rachel moans. Rachel looks at Hotch thoughtfully for a moment before going back to her food.

Hotch lets them eat in silence - giving Rachel time to decompress and gather her thoughts.

"I should probably get to it, huh?"

"Take your time," Hotch offers.

Rachel reaches for a steak fry and chews slowly, clearly in thought. She swallows and then sighs.

"I don't… Aaron, I don't… -." Rachel stops. "Did you -"

"If this is about Doyle, you don't need to worry -"

"No, it's not." Rachel pushes her food to the side of the table. She leans forward. "If I'm out of bounds here, please tell me and I'll drop it, but I think you're the only one I can talk to about this. On the plane, I just - it's about Foyet."

"Oh," Hotch says in lieu of having nothing else to say. He was not expecting this.

"Emily told me what happened. She didn't go into much detail, just that Foyet, became obsessed with you and killed Haley while you and the team listened."

"He did."

"Am I out of bounds here?" Rachel questions cautiously.

"What would you like to know?" Hotch asks and Rachel can see Agent Hotchner appear beside the man's eyes.

"When you got that call, did you…did you know that that would be the last –"

"Yes," He says simply.

Rachel exhales sharply with a strangled noise. Her chest burns with a tightness. "How?" She squeezes out.

Hotch pushes his own plate to the side and leans forward, placing his hand on her own. He shakes his head slowly. "It's not the same."

"Both of our wives were taken by killers."

"Foyet was obsessed with me. Obsessed with causing me pain, with breaking me. Haley was a means to that end. As soon as I heard his voice, I knew. Emily was Doyle's stressor. He was going to keep her alive as long as possible to get what he wanted. Emily knew that. And she knew we were coming. She had the ability to fight back. Haley didn't."

"I was terrified when Elizabeth and I were locked down at the hotel, but before JJ called saying you guys found her, I had this feeling. I-I don't really even know how to explain it. It was just something. Something Emily. Like I was losing her. Does that make sense?"

"Yes."

"Did you feel that way?"

"Yes, I didn't realize it in the moment, but when I think back on it, yes. An emptiness," Hotch tries to explain.

"That spreads and takes you over," Rachel adds. "I still feel it. And I haven't said goodbye. I'm not ready."

Hotch squeezes her hand. "Emily made it out of surgery. That's good. Focus on that."

"I'm terrified," Rachel says with a rueful scoff as she looks away from him.

"That's okay. The only thing we can do is take it one day at a time. Just do that, for both you and that fry-obsessed baby," Hotch says with the corners of his lips turned up slightly.

A laugh bubbles out of Rachel. "Right." She pops a steak fry into her mouth.


Hotel

Hotch drops Rachel at the hotel just as planned. Walking through the lobby, Rachel swings her to-go bag with her fries and another burger. Her sense of dread and creeping emptiness is not gone completely, but knowing Hotch understands is a help.

Rachel glances around as she makes her way to the elevator. She does not expect to find a redhead she knows sitting on a stool at the quiet bar with a glass tumbler in front of her. She makes her way over and sits on a free stool.

"Meg," Rachel calls.

"Hey," Meg acknowledges.

Meg lifts the tumbler of whiskey to her lips. With this movement, Rachel notices an envelope on the bar with Meg's name in the center. In Emily's handwriting.

"Have you read it?" Rachel asks.

"No. I can't decide if I want to open it and read it or keep it sealed and throw it in Emily's face when I see her." Meg looks at Rachel. "How are you?"

"I'm a mess," the author chuckles dryly. "I just want this to be over."

"Yeah."

"I was in Argentina. I had no idea what was happening when she called me. But I knew she was scared, so what could I do but what she told me to. I had no idea where we were going," Rachel explains. "I wonder if I should have put up more of a fight."

Meg scoffs. "She would have carried you to the plane kicking and screaming."

A corner of Rachel's lips quirks upward at that.

Meg lifts her glass for another sip and then stops. "Oh, sorry." She moves to set the alcohol down, away from her.

"No, no. Please. This situation definitely warrants it. I'll live vicariously through you on this one."

Meg nods and takes a sip. And the two are quiet for a moment.

"I feel so guilty," Rachel confesses quietly.

"Why?" Meg questions with shock.

"Argentina was great. It's one of the places I've always wanted to visit, but I had to lie to everyone, both here and there. I lied to Ash and my family about where I was every time I spoke to them. And in Argentina, Mark and I pretended to be a couple." Rachel takes a moment and sighs. "But I think what I'm most guilty about is that despite all that, I enjoyed being there. And there were times where I actually forgot that I was there because Emily sent me away while she faced a killer."

Meg regards her friend's wife for a moment.

"She's been going back and forth on a destination trip for you two," Meg reveals. "She wanted you guys to go somewhere together before the baby came. Argentina or Paris. She drove me crazy with it." Meg shakes her head to get back on track. "What I'm trying to say is, don't feel guilty about enjoying Argentina. It wasn't a coincidence. It's what Emily wanted."

"I don't know if that makes it better or worse."

"I think things are going to be like that for a while." Meg downs the rest of her drink. "Come on, we should get some sleep, need to be well-rested for our yell at Emily tomorrow." Meg pats the envelope twice before she slides off the stool with it and guides Rachel off her own.

"Don't be too hard on her. She made it back and she's recovering," Rachel reminds gently.

"I'll give her what she deserves," Meg says as they make their way out of the bar.

"That doesn't exactly instill my faith in you."

"We'll see what happens." Meg shrugs as she presses the elevator call button.

Rachel laughs. She regards Meg for moment. And then pulls her in for a hug.

The ding of the elevator arriving breaks their hug. But Rachel is sure they both could have held on for much longer.

The ride up to the floor was silent.

Meg leads Rachel down the hall. "You're in with JJ," she informs. She stops at a door.

"Who are you with?"

"Well, I wanted to be alone -,"

"You shouldn't be alone, Meg," Rachel interrupts.

"That's what everyone says. So, I'm with Penelope."

"Good."

Meg shrugs.

"You and Emily are too alike sometimes," Rachel comments.

"Yeah, maybe." Meg falls silent and fidgets, stuffing her hands in her pockets.

"She's still here. We haven't lost her," Rachel says strongly.

"She gave me her rings," Meg mumbles. She pulls a necklace from under her shirt with two rings hanging from it. "To give to you."

Rachel's breath hitches.

"She came to the diner," Meg continues. She scoffs and shakes her head as tears well in her eyes. "I feel so stupid because I knew she was worried before and the situation had somehow escalated. But it didn't really hit me until she left that this -," Meg touches the rings on her necklace, "- was her goodbye. That it could have been the last time I saw her. And I didn't get to say goodbye. And then this letter was at my place." A few tears escape and track down Meg's cheeks.

Rachel pulls Meg into a hug. "She's here," Rachel whispers reassuringly in the waitress' ear. "And when you throw that letter in her face, you can throw her rings at her too."

Meg chuckles. "They're a bit too valuable for that, but I wish." Meg looks at Rachel. "You don't want to give them to her yourself?"

"She trusted you with them, so I trust you with them."

With a sniff, Meg looks down and steps back from Rachel. "I'll let you get in there. JJ's been waiting on you."

"What?"

"I saw her come down to the bar and she looked relieved when she saw us talking." Meg leaned in. "I'm pretty sure she thought you'd commandeer a vehicle and head back to the hospital."

Rachel rolls her eyes.

"I'm not sure if I'm not gonna do that," Meg smirks. "Should I put you down as my plus one if I do?"

"Of course. You'll be in charge of getting past JJ."

"Deal. Alright, I'm gonna go. You okay?"

"I'll be okay. You?"

"I'm fine." Meg pulls away and gives a small smile as she rubs Rachel's arm. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Rachel watches the redhead walk down the hall, past two doors and then open one. Once Meg has disappeared, she turns to the door behind her and knocks. The door opens almost immediately.

"Hey," JJ says as she lets the author into the room. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Matt brought your bags over. So all your things are here." JJ gestures to the familiar luggage that Rachel is tired of living out of.

"Okay," Rachel acknowledges with a small smile. "I'll just change and get into bed."

"You don't want to shower? It might help," JJ suggests.

"Yeah, maybe." Rachel wheels her bag into the bathroom.

As soon as she closes the bathroom door behind her, Rachel lets out a breath as she leans against it.

She moves to stand at the double sink vanity. She splays her hands along the granite as she looks at herself in the mirror.

She inhaled sharply. She exhales the same way. Her chest feels tight. She tries to take another breath. It doesn't feel right.

One hand goes to her stomach as she tries to breathe again. Her throat feels like it's closing. Her eyes burn.

She tries to look at her reflection in the mirror. Maybe that would give her a clue to what's going on.

She can't make out her reflection. It's hazy and out of focus.

Her hand, not on her baby, feels weird. But she can't tell if it's painful or just numb.

Did she turn on the water? She hears the rush of water moving forcefully in her ears.

It's too loud. She needs to sit. She scrambles for the toilet. And use it to ease herself down onto the floor.

She still holds her and Emily's baby safe inside her. But the pain in her other hand disappears. Replaced with softness.

And she can at least recognize that she's being held.

That's the last thing she knows.


That's the end of this chapter. Hope you guys liked it.

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TVCrazed :D