TAGS: OMC, Blaine, Kurt, BDSM club, kissing, anxiety
Blaine wasn't planning on going out tonight. He had had a really long morning in class, and then, he had student-taught in the afternoon; all he really wanted to do was relax with some popcorn, a glass-or bottle-of wine, and Netflix. His roommate, Mark, had insisted on taking him out, though.
"You need to find a place to let go and let someone worry about things for a night," Mark said. He wasn't shy about being in the scene and had noticed some tendencies in Blaine that, he thought, with the right partner, could help Blaine thrive. Unfortunately, his roommate had never accepted his request to go to the club with him, but something felt different about tonight. "You'd be able to get into Ruby as my personal guest tonight, and if you like it and have a clean bill of health, you can apply for membership."
Of all of the times Blaine had wished he could have gone back to Ohio for Thanksgiving, this one was definitely up there. He also wasn't going home this year for Thanksgiving since neither his mom nor him could afford the plane ticket, or the time off from work. And he wished, now more than ever, that he had going back to his mother's as an excuse. He knew what his roommate thought of his behaviors, and it wasn't that he didn't agree. No, Blaine fully believed that he was a submissive. He was just terrified of giving anyone that much control over his body. He had been extremely hurt by his high school boyfriend, and it wasn't until they had broken up and he had gone to therapy that he had learned that his consent was never really given and that he was coerced into sex each and every time they had it.
However, he was also tired of giving him that control. It's been years, and that bastard is still dictating how I'm living my life. Isn't that what Jenny helped me to understand, that I have control over my life and my body? I get to decide.
Blaine then recalled Mark's words. "A clean bill of health." Just yesterday, he'd received his latest test results in the mail. Even though he hadn't had sex in years, it was habit for him to get tested every few months. Surely this isn't a coincidence. Maybe I'm meant to go to this club with him tonight.
"Is it really true that the sub really does hold a lot of the power in the relationship?" Blaine asked by way of answering Mark. This was the first time he had really talked to his roommate about the lifestyle and not just brushed the topic aside.
"The submissive is always allowed to stop anything at any time," Mark explained, surprised that Blaine was asking questions and trying his hardest to not let it show. "One of the things that I like most about Ruby is that everyone-Doms, switches, and subs-all have to have a safe word to even enter the play area. You can get in as my guest as I said, but you'll still have to fill out a limit sheet and have safe words to go in. That way, if you did decide to play with anyone, he would know what you are and are not okay with." If he decides to go, I really hope Kurt is there. They'd be perfect for each other, Mark thought as he watched Blaine take in the information he had just been told.
"And, you wouldn't leave me there by myself?" Blaine asked, feeling both small and confident all at the same time. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he really wanted to go now. Almost like something was pulling him to go with his friend.
"I won't leave your side without your consent," Mark promised.
"Won't you be looking for your own sub to play with?" Blaine asked. "I don't want to be the reason you don't meet anyone."
"You will be my sole responsibility, Blaine," Mark explained. "I won't leave unless you find someone you want to talk to or play with. Sometimes, I just like to go and hang out. If there is someone who strikes my fancy, I will see if they are available to play on another date, and that will be perfectly okay with me. I just think this would be a really good thing for you to check out, and I'd rather not be distracted if you have any questions."
"I won't have to, like, wear a collar or assless chaps or anything like that, will I?" Blaine hesitantly asked. He didn't want to seem like he was making fun of anything, but he wasn't sure he would be comfortable in anything like that.
"No, you won't have to do anything like that," Mark chuckled. "They will give you a bracelet; you will get a purple one because you are an unattached submissive. Each color has meaning. For example, I will get an orange one because I'm an unattached Dominant. Unattached switches wear green. Attached Doms, subs, and switches wear red, blue, and yellow respectively. You can wear whatever clothes you like."
Blaine thought for a few more minutes before he finally spoke again. "I think I'd like to go."
"If you want to leave at any time, you just tell me, and we'll go, okay?" Mark said.
"Okay," Blaine agreed. "I'm going to go get ready. What time do you want to leave?"
"There's no school or work tomorrow for you, right?" Mark asked.
"Nope," Blaine replied. "I'm all done with everything until next Monday."
"Let's have supper first and then head there around 8:00," Mark offered.
"Sounds good," Blaine replied and got up from the couch.
Blaine was nervous and didn't eat a whole lot that night for supper. He knew he needed to eat something, though, and opted for a grilled chicken salad. While he was getting ready, he also Googled safe words to get an idea of what people used. The "color" system seemed to be pretty popular, and he knew just what he wanted his words to be. He took his time showering, making sure to clean every inch of his body thoroughly just in case his night ended with someone else, and then got dressed in dark skinny jeans and a light blue polo with a coordinating bowtie. He almost decided to not wear one, but for some reason, it felt off, wrong even.
Mark wanted to get to the club a little early since Blaine had to fill out the paperwork to be able to come in tonight, and he had to sign papers saying he would be responsible for Blaine since he wasn't a member yet. Blaine asked him if he would stay with him while he filled out the papers in case he had any questions, to which he agreed. The guest paperwork was minimal compared to the member paperwork. There were significantly less kinks to check off than there would have been if Blaine were applying for membership; so, it didn't take that long, and Blaine didn't have any questions about any of them.
"What do those mean?" Mark asked when Blaine wrote down his safewords. "I'll need to know in case you use one around me for whatever reason."
"They're red, yellow, and green in Tagalog," Blaine explained. "Red is pula, yellow is dilaw, and green is berde."
"Those are really cool, Blaine," Mark said. He loved that his friend had used his mother's native language, knowing how much her culture meant to him.
The two men went into the club and ordered a couple of drinks. Luckily, the club did not serve alcohol at all. They wanted their patrons to be 100% lucid and sober if they played there. The two of them talked about various aspects about the club, and a few guys came up to Mark to ask if he was there to play tonight. He politely turned each of them down and told them that he would either find them later or some other time.
Blaine was starting to feel bad for dragging his friend down and was about to say "pula" and bow out when he walked into the room. Holy hot damn! Blaine thought. Please have an orange bracelet. Please have an orange bracelet, he chanted in his head.
"He does," Mark said.
"Fuck," Blaine whispered. "I said that out loud?"
Mark chuckled, "Yup, you sure did. That's Kurt."
"No fucking way!" Blaine said a little too loudly, earning some looks from the people at the next table, but thankfully, the music was up loud enough that no more than that heard him. "That's Kurt?"
"Sure is," Mark said with a grin. He somehow knew that if Blaine had a type, Kurt would be it. Hell, if Kurt and he weren't both Doms, he'd want him. "Do you want me to call him over here?"
"Not yet," Blaine said shyly. "I mean, if he comes over here on his own, that's fine. I don't want to seem desperate, though. He just walked in."
"Okay," Mark agreed and they continued to talk about various things for about the next 10 minutes until someone interrupted them.
"Hey, Mark," Kurt said. "How have you been?"
"Hey, Kurt," Mark answered. "I've been pretty good. Ready for a few days off of life. How have you been?"
"I can't complain," Kurt replied with a smile, taking peeks at Blaine every so often. "Work has been crazy for me with everyone wanting gowns for swanky Christmas parties coming up."
"I can imagine you've been pretty busy, then," Mark said. "I haven't seen you here in a while and thought you might have gotten yourself a permanent sub."
"Nope," Kurt said wiggling his orange bracelet at Mark, making sure the very pretty sub sitting next to him knew he was free. "Are you playing tonight?" he asked.
"I don't have any plans to," Mark answered. "Kurt, this is my friend and roommate, Blaine. Blaine, this is Kurt."
Kurt stuck out his hand toward Blaine and said, "It's nice to meet you."
"It's nice to meet you, too," Blaine said, and as he grabbed his hand, a shiver rolled through his body.
"Would you care to join me for a drink?" Kurt asked.
Blaine looked at Mark to see if he minded.
"Color?" Mark asked, wanting to check with his friend.
"Berde," Blaine said.
"If you leave, please text me," Mark instructed. "I'll be here all night if you don't."
"Okay," Blaine said with a chuckle. "See you later, Mark."
"Have fun!" Mark said and started looking around the room for the pretty guy named Paul that had come up and introduced himself earlier.
Once they found a table, Kurt asked if he could pull the curtain to give them a little more privacy to get to know one another. Blaine agreed, knowing that he could leave at any time.
"Do you need anything else to drink?" Kurt asked once they had sat down. "Or anything to eat? The food here is actually phenomenal."
"I'm okay for now, I think," Blaine answered. His palms were sweating, and he could feel drops of sweat running down his back as well. He was so nervous, and he had no idea why. It wasn't like he'd never talked to very attractive men before. However, he had never talked to anyone in a BDSM club where he'd had to list out what kinks he'd be okay with someone doing to or with him, and holy hell, he was now thinking of Kurt doing those things to him. So hot...
"Blaine," Kurt said in an authoritative tone, "take a breath. All I want to do is talk. This doesn't have to lead anywhere you don't dictate it leading."
With that, Blaine breathed. He remembered the techniques his therapist had taught him for when he was having a panic attack and made sure to fill up his lungs with air, hold it there for a few moments, and then blow all of the unhelpful thoughts and feelings running around in his head out. After a couple of breaths, he opened his eyes and found Kurt staring at him in concern.
"I'm sorry," Blaine said as he looked down at the table.
"There's absolutely nothing for you to be sorry about," Kurt replied. "Before we go any further, even if it's only talking, can you tell me your safewords?"
"I'm good to go is 'berde,' slow down is 'dilaw,' and 'pula' means stop," Blaine repeated, the direct question helping him to calm down further.
"Those are beautiful," Kurt commented.
"My mom is from the Philippines," Blaine explained. "They're in Tagalog, which is the dialect she speaks."
"Would it be alright if I asked you a couple of questions before we go much further?" Kurt asked gently.
Blaine just nodded.
"I need a verbal answer, Blaine," Kurt replied firmly.
"You can ask, Kurt," Blaine said, hoping Kurt wasn't mad at him for not following some sort of rule he didn't know about.
"Thank you," he said. "The first question is...would you like another drink or anything to eat?"
"I'm not hungry, but another iced tea would be nice," Blaine responded.
Kurt grabbed the tablet on the table and put an order in for an iced tea, a lemonade, and an appetizer platter. "I haven't eaten much today, so I ordered some snacks along with our drinks. You don't have to eat any, but you're welcome to share if you change your mind."
"Thank you, Kurt," Blaine replied.
"The second question," Kurt began. "Have you ever played with anyone else before?"
"No, Kurt," Blaine said. He wasn't sure how much information he was supposed to give, so he only gave what he was asked to, hoping it was the right thing to do.
"Are you looking to play tonight?" Kurt asked, not at all deterred by the fact that Blaine was seemingly brand new to this.
"I'm not sure," Blaine answered honestly. "I'm open to it as long as you promise you'll stop if I say pula." He was firm with this answer. He was taking control of this aspect of his life.
"Of course I will," Kurt exclaimed. "I have never, nor will I ever, ignore a safeword. Has someone done that before?"
"Not exactly," Blaine replied. "The only guy I've ever been with wasn't very nice to me. And, it's taken me, shit...5 years to even get this far. I know I'm kind of a mess, and I will completely understand if you get up and leave now, but...I don't know, Kurt. Something…"
"Seems right between us?" Kurt offered when Blaine couldn't finish his sentence.
Blaine nodded; his eyes were watering slightly, and he whispered, "Yes."
"You're really brave," Kurt said. "It takes a lot of courage to come to a place like this after being hurt."
"Mark seemed to think it would be good for me," Blaine chuckled. "He's been trying to get me to come here for a couple of years, ever since he learned what happened with my ex. He also knows my tendencies lean toward a more submissive nature and thought that, with the right Dom, I might thrive."
"He's a smart guy," Kurt said. "Would you allow me to show you how good this could be? How good I think we could be?"
Blaine thought for a moment, not wanting to jump into anything he might regret later. After their drinks and food had been delivered, Blaine finally answered him.
"There's something about you that all of my instincts are telling me to trust. Actually, they're screaming at me to never let you go."
Kurt laughed a little around his pizza roll. "You felt it, too, then, huh?"
"The shiver?" Blaine clarified.
"Yes," Kurt answered. "My mom always told me the story of how she and my dad met, that it was like electricity the first time they held hands. I always loved that story. Anyway, I think it means we should give this a shot and see how it goes."
"Okay," Blaine replied, ready to put his life in this beautiful man's hands.
"We have options, Blaine," Kurt said. "We can talk for the remainder of the evening, we can talk for a little bit and then go play, or we can leave right now and go play. What would you like to do? There's no right or wrong answer here."
Again, Blaine took a couple of moments to really think about his choices and what he'd like to do. "I would like to talk for a little bit and then go play."
"Would you like to play here or at one of our places?" Kurt asked, secretly pleased that Blaine wanted to play. He knew they wouldn't go very far tonight, but just being able to touch this man's body was getting Kurt so hard in his very fashionable pants, it was ridiculous.
"If it would be alright with you, can we stay here?" Blaine asked.
"That's fine with me," Kurt replied. "If it would make you feel more comfortable, you could tell Mark that we're going to play in Room 3. It's the one I always reserve when I'm here, that way I know where everything is."
Blaine hesitated for a moment before getting his phone out and texting Mark. He sat there, waiting for a response, thinking about something he wanted to ask but didn't know what the etiquette was or if it was okay for him to ask a question. A response came quickly; Mark let him know that he would wait at the club for him, and they could catch a cab home together unless he heard otherwise from Blaine.
"You can ask me questions, too, you know," Kurt said, sensing that Blaine might have something to say.
Blaine looked at him and said without thinking, "Can you read my mind? I was literally just thinking that I wanted to ask you something but didn't know if that was an okay thing for me to do or not."
"I can't read minds," Kurt replied with a smile. "I have gotten very good at reading people's body language, though, and you were acting like someone who had a question and either didn't know if they could ask it or didn't know how to ask it."
"Okay," Blaine started. "How...how many people have you played with? Is that question even appropriate for me to ask?"
"It's absolutely appropriate for you to ask that," Kurt told him. "I've played longterm with two guys and have had several that I play around with from time to time. I am always safe and fair. If you want, I can pull up my profile with the club, and you can see my history. It also shows what my hard and soft limits are."
"Since I've never done this before, what's the typical thing to do?" Blaine asked.
"It varies from person to person really," Kurt explained. "I like to make sure my subs know what they're getting into. I'm pretty transparent with my profile and answering questions like I've done with you. Mark is, too, I think, with those he plays with. There are some out there who don't do this, though. Some guys won't pick up when their subs are uneasy or are hesitant about things."
"You did, though," Blaine whispered. "You just knew, and we just met."
"Like I said, I've been reading people for a long time," Kurt replied. He pulled up his profile on the tablet and turned it toward Blaine.
The list was VERY comprehensive, and there were some things that Blaine honestly didn't know what they were. If he did this more than just for tonight, he'd definitely need to educate himself a little more. As it was, he strangely felt very safe with Kurt.
"Um," Blaine said after he was done looking at Kurt's profile. "Should I show you mine, too?"
"I'd like it if you would," Kurt replied. "I want to know your limits and make sure I don't come close to crossing any of them."
"How do I do that?" Blaine asked.
Kurt showed him how to access his profile on the tablet and saw the very scarce list of limits. He knew that since Blaine was a guest, anyone who played with him would stick to only the things listed on the checklist until they were a member, if they chose to become one.
"If we play more than just tonight, which will be up to you, I'd like to talk more about some of your limits," Kurt said. "It's not that there's anything wrong with them or that I want to change them; I just want to understand them better."
"That would be okay with me," Blaine replied. "For some reason, I have the feeling that I'll want to play again with you. There's just something about you that is so calming and makes me want to relinquish control, which to be honest, kind of terrifies me but also exhilarates me at the same time."
Kurt smiled. "I'm glad to hear that. Okay, so here's what we're going to do. I want you to go into Room 3 and get into whatever state of undress you want and position yourself wherever you feel most comfortable. This is not a test. There are no right or wrong answers. I honestly just want you to be comfortable. I will come in in 10 minutes."
"Yes, Kurt," Blaine said and stood up.
"The rooms are through that door," Kurt instructed, pointing to a black door after he'd opened the curtain. "You'll need my code to get in. It's 1130."
Blaine nodded and then headed toward the black door in the back. He pressed in the code, found Room 3, put the code in again, and then breathed. Sure, he was nervous, but something felt so incredibly right about the whole night at the same time. It wasn't anything he could describe, and right now, he was okay with that. He wanted to get out of his head, and it seemed like letting Kurt take control was the way to do that.
Without thinking at all, Blaine took off his shirt, shoes, socks, and pants and folded them neatly, putting them on the table, leaving himself in his tight, blue boxer briefs. The next thing he needed to do was position himself somewhere comfortable. He saw a chair, bed, and a pad on the floor. The chair didn't look appealing at all, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to kneel for anybody yet. So, he sat on the bed, hands in his lap and eyes closed. He was trying to calm his mind and be in that place where he was free from all of the outside crap he had to deal with.
Blaine must have been able to get himself there, because the next thing he knew, Kurt was in front of him, touching his face gently to get his attention. He opened his eyes and looked into the pools of blue that were staring, it seemed, into his innermost soul.
"Hi," Blaine breathed out.
"Hi," Kurt replied with a smile. "Are you already floaty?"
"A little," Blaine said. "Jenny, that's my old therapist, taught me how to really calm my mind. Maybe it got too calm?"
"No," Kurt responded as he stroked Blaine's cheek and jawline. "Calm is good. Would you like to float some more?"
"Please, Kurt," Blaine borderline begged.
"I will always give you what you need," Kurt said. "Can you lay back on the bed, on your back?"
"Yes, Kurt," Blaine said and complied with what he was asked to do. He really wanted to close his eyes again. Just as he was about to, Kurt started unbuttoning his shirt. Wow, he thought. He's so beautiful and muscular, and fuck, I'm getting hard now just from his bare chest.
Blaine closed his eyes and tried to get himself under control. He heard, in his periphery, Kurt taking off his pants, too, and he assumed his socks and shoes as well. On his checklist, he did say that he was okay with nudity, so this wasn't anything unexpected. The next thing he knew, there was a dip in the bed next to him, and he opened his eyes again. Kurt was sitting next to him and was reaching out to simply touch Blaine's skin with his fingertips.
"You're stunning, Blaine," Kurt whispered. "I can honestly say you are the most beautiful man I've ever laid eyes on, and I knew the moment I saw the purple bracelet on your wrist that I had to at least talk to you. It was almost like I was being drawn to you somehow. Like there was a magnet behind you, pulling me inch by inch toward your table." As he talked, he continued to run his fingertips over Blaine's chest, arms, face, and down his legs, never touching where he was clothed though.
"I felt it, too," Blaine whispered back, feeling if he spoke any louder he would break some sort of bubble around them.
"Tonight, I want to get to know your body," Kurt said.
"Please, Kurt," Blaine begged. "Do with me what you wish."
"What are your safewords?"
"Berde, dilaw, pula," Blaine answered as if it were already second nature to use them.
"I want you to promise me that you will use them anytime you feel uncomfortable," Kurt commanded.
"I promise, Kurt," Blaine replied.
With that, Kurt leaned down and kissed Blaine on the mouth. The shiver that they both felt when they shook hands was nothing compared to the sparks that they felt when their lips touched. Blaine shamelessly moaned into Kurt's mouth and dropped it open when Kurt licked his bottom lip, asking for entrance.
They kissed for several minutes until both were panting for air. As they pulled away, Blaine caught a glimpse of Kurt's eyes, and he had an immediate reaction. There was something there, something hidden in those beautiful, deep blues that just screamed dominance. Blaine knew, from just one look, that Kurt could do things to him he'd never imagined, take him apart and put him together again in so many ways. Something like that with any other person might have frightened him, sent him careening back to thoughts of his last relationship. But with Kurt? Those thoughts just made him feel safe and protected. They made him want to tear down any walls he'd built around himself and let Kurt in to walk freely.
And just like that, the man that he'd been kissing moments ago became the most dangerous person in the world.
As Blaine accepted the next kiss, he knew that regardless of whether he ended up broken or built anew, he would take the chance.
