AN: I have no idea if the withdrawal symptoms I'm portraying in this chapter are accurate or not. I've done a bit of research, but I'm not close enough friends with any of the people I know who have actually gone through this directly so I'm largely spitballing it. Anything that isn't accurate, chalk up to 'this is because of tinker tech drugs and not real-life drugs'.
Flight 1-3
Another crash echoed through the morning and Nancy cringed back against the warm body behind her.
"Shh, it's just a car backfire. You're safe."
Nancy didn't remember moving from the air mattress to the bed. She had been here for some time though considering the state of the sheets under her. It was still a tossup on whether her initial move, her now near-constant shaking, or the soaked bedding was what had woken Taylor up.
Surrounding dampness and rate of sweating indicates approximately 1 hour 12 minutes in current location. Withdrawal symptoms are worsening.
Her mouth was so dry. She needed water. She needed -
something stronger
- coffee. She bit down on the hand in her mouth trying to stop the whimper from escaping. She knew she wasn't successful when Taylor quietly cursed.
"Goddamn Merchants and their fucking poison."
Nancy shook her head. Blaming the Merchants would have been easy. It was almost right in a way, considering the current problem. But it wasn't correct. And if she was going to suffer, then she was going to make sure that the right person was blamed for it.
"No? Not the Merchants? But…I mean aren't you…?"
She nodded. Biting into her finger as another convulsion wracked her body. Taylor threw another blanket over her shoulder and rubbed soothing circles.
"I really have no idea what the hell I'm doing here…" the taller girl muttered. "Okay, so you're going through withdrawal, but you weren't running from the Merchants. You don't have someone you can trust in the city so it's probably still one of the gangs that's responsible because otherwise you'd have family to turn to. You're basically the Aryan ideal so I find it hard to believe that the Empire would have kidnapped and tormented you."
Nancy scoffed. The idea that the Empire actually gave a shit about their vaunted ideology was laughable. Sure some of them probably were really Neo-Nazis, but Kaiser would just as soon murder a white person as he would a black person. All were just stepping stones to more power for him.
Just like Coil.
She pulled her hand from her mouth to avoid drawing blood as her teeth ground together. She couldn't think about him. As long as she didn't think about him, she would be fine. Everything was perfectly fine. She had had bad days before. Bad days were nothing. She'd had headaches, and she'd been sick. A little drug problem wasn't anything to worry about.
She. Was. Fine.
"Yeah, I suppose the Empire wouldn't really care if you were white if you pissed them off, huh. But since you didn't flinch away, I'm still going with: Not Empire. ABB? You were kinda close to their territory when I found you. They have a bit of a reputation for kidnapping girls and sending them to…bad places. It was part of the reason I was heading out that way."
Nancy shook her head once more.
Taylor hummed to herself for a moment. "That doesn't really leave many players, unless it was a random guy. There's Uber and Leet but they wouldn't do something like this. The worst they've ever done was beat people up and even then I think it turned out to just be actresses they'd hired. Circus is that new Independent but again, they're not really a person that would kidnap and drug someone. PHO is pretty consistent on Bitch staying by herself and only caring about dogs. Oh! Someone said something about there being a new guy in between the ABB and Merchant grounds. Snake or Circles or something. He used mainly mercenaries I think; was supposed to be someone we're watching out for now."
Nancy flopped onto her back, knocking the blankets that Taylor had piled over her to the side. She arched her eyebrows at the other girl.
Taylor pulled back, her eyes widening. "Snake? Seriously? Holy shit. Wow, okay. So he's…a bigger problem than I thought…"
Will patrol near Coil's territory. Will try to find information on Coil.
Nancy's eyes widened. She flailed under the remaining blanket for a moment and finally - finally - managed to get free, clasping Taylor's hand with her own. Taylor frowned as she looked at her. "I'm sorry, I don't -"
Nancy gestured with her free arm towards the rest of the room then pointed straight down. Then she jerked Taylor's hand down onto the bed and shut her eyes, letting out a shaky breath.
"Stay here. Oh. Oh yeah, I can see why you'd be worried. Nancy, it would only be for a short time and -"
She hissed and jerked her head quickly scowling as she glared at Taylor. Taylor frowned, then her eyes widened. "Not just 'stay'. You don't want me to go after him in particular. Because he hurt you and you think he can get me too?"
She nodded.
"I get it. But you didn't really get to see my powers yet. They are, I mean I can…I have a really good range with my bugs. I don't have to risk myself at all really. I can just camp out in a building and send out my critters and…" She trailed off as Nancy violently shook her head, teeth clenched tight enough to hurt her jaw.
"…He hurt you." Nancy squeezed Taylor's hand harder. "I can find him." She shook her head. "I can get the PRT to go after him." She pulled Taylor's hand to her chest, shaking her head again. "I don't have to get into the line of fire. He'd never even know I'm there. Neither would the PRT. I can call in an anonymous tip." She just curled herself around Taylor's hand. "…Please let me help you."
Nancy lifted her head just enough to catch Taylor's eyes. She slowly, deliberately, lifted one hand and jabbed it down into the bed. Then she curled herself back around Taylor's hand, as another convulsion hit her and she hissed through her clenched teeth, her brow breaking out in sweat again.
"…Okay."
Nancy huddled in a blanket swaddle fort on the couch, the fork in her hand shaking as she tried to eat the eggs in front of her. Her stomach kept flipping and rebelling with almost every bite, but she needed the food. She needed to eat.
Nausea, symptom of withdrawal. Omelet is a good source of required nutrients. Taylor is working hard to ensure nutrient intake to required levels. Taylor is trying to be helpful. Taylor is desperate to be helpful.
Nancy forced another bite down, trying to avoid wincing as it hit her stomach.
Taylor still caught her expression. "Our computer sucks, but I've been looking up your symptoms since Dad left. I um…do you know what sort of drugs Snake had you on? Some of these things seem to last for…a really long time. And the problems can get…bad."
Is unwilling to let things worsen. Taylor is protecting you. Photos of young friend glimpsed in her closet were hidden. Photos stopped at adolescence. Friendship stopped at adolescence. Taylor is unwilling to allow for things with you to deteriorate. Taylor is desperate to not lose another relationship.
Nancy grimaced as she forced another helping of eggs down. It really did taste wonderful. The ketchup and rosemary were amazing. She held a hand up outside of her shaking fort and waved it back and forth in the air.
"Damn. That makes things a bit more complicated. If we knew what you had been on, we might be able to - oh wait, you do what you were hooked on?"
Nancy scowled. This whole 'not talking' thing was getting annoying. If she could just whisper then maybe…
Her throat seized up and her vision swam.
NO. She clenched her hands, her mouth snapping shut fast enough to catch her cheek between her teeth. Tears welled in her eyes from the pain and she tasted copper.
If she said anything at all, Taylor would figure out she was a parahuman in minutes. She would figure out she was a Thinker. She would figure out how she could be useful.
The blood in her mouth was almost sweet. That should have been disturbing, instead, it helped center her. She hissed out a sharp breath and unclenched her hand forcing the shaking to subside.
"It's okay. It's okay. Just breathe. In, and out. In, and out. Don't force yourself. It's okay. You're safe. It's all okay."
She couldn't talk. She couldn't be useful.
Nancy didn't know how long it was before Taylor's hand stopped rubbing circles on her back, but eventually she was able to open her eyes and let out a shaky sigh. She reached out to try and finish her omelet, but her hand shook too much to grab the fork.
"Let me help." Taylor reached past her and picked up the utensil, making sure to cut the last portion into smaller bits before spearing one. Nancy glared at Taylor for a long moment before opening her mouth and letting the girl feed her. Thankfully she didn't have to suffer that indignity for long since she had at least finished almost everything before her body and nerves failed her.
Catching sight of the clock on the wall as she collapsed back onto the couch, her eyes narrowed and she jerked her head towards the backpack near the bottom of the stairs. Taylor followed her movement and grunted.
"I can afford to skip the day. You need my help far more than I need to go to school." She sighed. "It's not like I'd get anything accomplished there. Losing more homework, getting ignored, probably skipping the last two or three classes anyway…easier to just skip the whole day. More productive. I've already missed the only class I enjoy anyway."
Trigger from school based trauma is certain. Friendship failed prior to adolescence - prior to high school. Prior friend, [̷̠͊T̸̝̅r̴̦͛ă̸̹i̶̺͛ṫ̸̬ò̵̲r̶̦̄]̸͉̕ is cause of school trauma. Prolonged trauma. Prolonged isolation. Taylor has imprinted on you out of desperation for support/validation/emotional health/attachment. Taylor is loyal. Taylor is an ally. Taylor is a friend.
Nancy swallowed hard. The last thing she wanted was to be manipulating someone simply by existing. The best thing she could do for Taylor was to leave. She could find an abandoned house or something and she could…she could…
She had lived on her own before. She'd be fine.
Taylor needs a friend. [H̸̫̋o̸̦̎s̶̼̀t̶̯̿] needs a friend.
Why was her power so…weird these days?
Nancy bit off a choked laugh that sounded more like a sob. She burrowed deeper into the blankets, sweat beading on her head again. Who was she kidding. Even if she wanted to leave, she'd never be able to get to a new hiding place before she collapsed.
"Nancy, I really need to try and figure out what drugs Snake had you on. Do you think you'd be up to charades? Just long enough to help me get onto the right path. Then I can help you take a shower and you can lie back down and I can…try to figure out how to do…something."
She just nodded.
Taylor breathed out and stood moving to the middle of the room. "Okay. So let's do this the easy way first. I'm going to run through some common things. Thumbs up if I hit the right one." She paused to let Nancy acknowledge it then she started ticking through her list. "Heroin. Cocaine. Meth. Speed. Wait, never mind, those are the same aren't they…Moving on, um, morphine. Do people use that for, oh not that, okay. Um, wow I never thought not being a delinquent would be a bad thing…Why are pointing at the TV?"
Nancy groaned and rubbed at her temple with her free hand and jabbed at the TV again. Then she pointed towards the DVD player, a passing car and the microwave in the kitchen. Taylor frowned following her wandering finger. "Now I really do feel like I'm playing charades," the curly-haired girl muttered. "Wait…technology? Tech drugs?" She gasped, her eyes widening. "Tinker tech drugs?!"
Nancy gave a small clap. Taylor was impressive. Nancy's parents probably would've hired her for a legitimate job if they had met her.
And wasn't that a terrifying thought?
"Oh this is bad. Nancy, tinker tech drugs are really, really addictive, shit…The only tinker drugs I've heard of that are common in Brockton right now is Crystal Sand. Someone knocked over a big shipment of it and it's basically everywhere now, and the news is all over school that you do not touch that stuff. If you survive the withdrawal then you're supposed to be more or less fine since it stops messing with you sure, but otherwise…It kills half the people who take it if they miss more than two or three doses! And that's if they can stop themselves from going for another hit! One of the guys in the ABB held up his own mother to get money for another dose. That stuff is bad!"
Nancy gestured to herself with a scowl. A shudder racked her at near perfect timing for extra emphasis.
"I…Okay. You're going to be okay. We're going to figure this out. I promise. You're going to be fine. I'm - I'm going to…You're going to shower and sleep. And I'm going to figure this out. Okay?"
Taylor is desperate to ensure [̶̟͘Ḧ̶̨o̷̪̊s̴̬͂ṭ̵̈́]̶͍̇'̸͉̈s̸̡̊ survival. Taylor is willing to take drastic action.
Nancy tried to get to her feet. She tried to push herself up. She needed to convince Taylor to stay here. To stay here and just tie her to the bed. She was strong. She could make it through a few days of torture. Then she'd be fine. That was all that they had to do. Taylor didn't have to take any unnecessary risks.
But then, as she got her feet under her, she fell forward, her legs unable to support her weight with the shaking running up them. Taylor caught her before she could fall to the floor. She clung to the taller girl, burying her head in the crook of her neck.
"It's okay. It's okay, I got you. You're going to be fine. I'm going to figure this out, Nancy. I promise. I'm going to figure this out."
Nancy just clung tighter to Taylor. Maybe she did need the help after all.
