This chapter is dedicated in its entirety to the extremely kind and thoughtful words of mmauney12. Thank you so much for your review - it is comments like yours that motivate me to upload these chapters. I'm so glad you're enjoying this - your support means everything to me. And to everyone else reading, let me know what you think!
Previously on Above All Others: A visit to Hogsmeade sees Messalina reunited with the Prewett twins and recruited to find others for a fledgling anti-Death Eater group the boys are a part of. Messalina learns Remus is often ill and decides to get to the bottom of the mystery. For professional, Auror practice purposes only of course.
Remus Lupin was fairly certain he knew his best friends' answers to the question: what did you learn you envied from the Prewett twins during their at Hogwarts together. His own response was two parts, as one might expect. First, and perhaps most obviously, he was jealous of their connection with Messalina. The three were scarcely apart from one another when they were in not in class or at quidditch practice, often with their heads close together scheming about Merlin knew what. Fabian and Gideon were always at ease, perpetually relaxed in spite of the mounting pressures of their coursework, and, despite Messalina's protests that they drove her insane, he was certain a serious disagreement or fight had never occurred between them. There was never tension in their group, only the twins laughing and Messalina rolling her eyes until she eventually joined them in their laughter.
But their closeness was not the only thing Remus wished he had. The Prewetts had unquestionable morals and they stuck to them at every turn. They were a source of amusement to their fellow students without needing to do anything worth garnering a detention for. Even as second years, the Prewett twins were willing to be ostracized by their House if it meant making sure a fourth year didn't bully a frightened and alone first year who had just received the shock of a lifetime. They were worthy of Messalina's love and adoration. Never had he seen them demean another student that wasn't doing the same to a younger or otherwise more vulnerable student. And Remus wished he could say the same about himself. He had been raised by his parents, mostly his mother, to never bully others and to be as kindhearted and open-minded towards others as he could manage. She always said it would help him relieve any feelings of inadequacy he had compared to his peers considering his condition. And yet for the first six years of his Hogwarts career, he could scarcely say he followed her most adamant advice. His best friends were beloved in their own House and amongst students who mostly fit in with them; however, they could be a terror to anyone they perceived as annoying or irritating or different. And Remus was too afraid of losing their love and support to do much other than standby and watch it happen.
He had felt the most shame after their O.W.L.s when James had found Snape sitting by the lake and, bored and ready for some action, had decided it best to torment him one last time before summer break. Remus could do nothing but hang back as Snape was hoisted in the air and mocked in front of the majority of the school. He could not risk his friends looking down on him and so he stayed silent, watching passively as Lily tried to put a stop to it and was called a 'mudblood' by her own childhood best friend. Remus said nothing as Messalina appeared from somewhere by the lakeshore and took off running after Lily, but not before throwing a dirty look at both Snape and the Marauders. He didn't move when the Prewett twins ran over and demanded James stop using 'scourgify' on Snape. Shame had roiled in his stomach that night when Messalina and Lily returned, the latter's face puffy and red as she walked through the silent Common Room and up the stairs to her dorm, the eyes of half their House fixed on her. Messalina had joined Fabian and Gideon in front of the fire and it didn't take a genius to put together what they were whispering about.
And so, when James had been selected as Head Boy instead of Remus, Remus felt no anger. His parents were disappointed as they had hoped the status might help him with his eventually long and unsuccessful job search. Remus didn't feel the same way. He didn't deserve to put in charge of other students if he couldn't be brave enough to stand up to his own friends. He wasn't half the Gryffindor that the Prewett twins were and they had never even been appointed as prefects.
Now, Remus didn't expect his friends' answers to the Prewett experience question to be nearly as long winded as his own. Peter most likely envied their cleverness and the ease with which they became two of the most popular students in the school. Perhaps Peter wished he had their talents in the classroom as well, particularly when they both earned enough O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s to get into the Auror program without a single hitch. The twins might not have as much inherent talent for DADA as their adopted sister, but they had been a sight to behold at the ill-fated Dueling Club two years ago. After Messalina had sent Benjy Fenwick through the wall of the Great Hall, much to Remus' internal delight, professors had been forced to break up the dueling twins out of fear of another student getting in the way and injuring themselves. It had not come as a surprise when a Ministry owl appeared several days later inviting the boys to submit their Auror applications early.
James and Sirius, on the other hand, would certainly pick a rather different point of admiration: the twins' ability to throw what were possibly the best parties Gryffindor tower had ever seen. By their seventh year, the twins had the set up down to an exact science. First, ask the Marauders to head down to the kitchens to get as much food as they could get from the house elves. Then, ask Messalina's dorm mates to decorate the Common Room to fit whatever theme they were going for. Marlene's impeccable taste came in handy during these events as she always had just the right idea of how to decorate and Mary was an expert at yelling at younger students who dared to trample or destroy any decorations. After that, the twins would beg Lily Evans to attend the event, promising no fourth years or under would gain access to alcohol if she could just do a quick age line around the table, and telling her they loved her when she eventually caved in to their request. No one, not even the incredibly stubborn Lily Evans, could say no to the twins when they wanted something.
Once they were content with the Common Room situation, the twins and Messalina would disappear for an hour and return with more alcohol than the Three Broomsticks probably had behind the counter. While the hangover cure potion was the twins' worst kept secret, wherever they got the drinks from was their best kept. The Marauders themselves were quite adept at keeping secrets (hello Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs), but even they couldn't resist hinting at their monthly excursions. Remus had, after all, been forced to firmly reprimand Sirius for yelling 'Moony's back!' at the top of his lungs in the Common Room when Remus had returned from the Hospital Wing earlier than usual two weekends ago. Remus suspected Messalina knew something was going on, especially after learning Mary was still talking about werewolves constantly, and Messalina had looked up from her essay with a suspicious look on her face at Sirius' call. He had caught her looking thoughtfully at him several times since then, each time a panic gripping his heart especially she offered him a flustered smile. So yeah, the Marauders were pretty good at keeping secrets even if they felt the need to flaunt how clever they were in front of the rest of the school. But the Prewett twins never hinted at revealing anything about their own secret.
No one had a clue where the firewhisky came from, and the few times the Marauders had attempted to track them on the Map, they either milling about on the seventh floor or completely missing. The Marauders had inspected the seventh floor very carefully since then, but had never discovered anything that looked like it might be a firewhisky storage spot. There was no way it came from the kitchens as Remus knew from experience that 1) the house elves would moan with despair if you asked because they were not allowed to give students anything like that, not even a butterbeer, and 2) there was no bribing a house elf that had been ordered not to do something. The firewhisky couldn't be coming from Hogsmeade because although Madam Rosemerta might be tempted to sell Sirius a bottle of firewhisky if he really put on the charm, there was no way the woman was supplying over fifteen bottles at once. But there was no other reason why the Map would not show their location if they were on the grounds and no one knew Hogwarts and its secrets better than the Marauders. It was a mystery that had stumped them so much that once the previous year, James had attempted to follow them with the Cloak but the three had split up and according to the Map, had just wandered aimlessly around the castle in different directions before returning to the Common Room laden with bottles.
But, the twins were graduated and in the real world now. And the secret lay entirely with the girl laying in front of the fireplace taking what appeared to be an extended nap with her face buried in a hefty Potions textbook. She and Lily had ventured out of the warmth of the castle to reply to a letter from Lily's parents about her older sister Petunia getting married and returned shivering from the walk. They had laid down to do their Potions readings in front of the fire to warm up and after about ten minutes, Messalina was face down in the book snoring softly. Of course, Remus hadn't been stalking them or listening carefully to their conversation when they had walked past him because that would be weird. It was just the kind of things friends do when they have a massive crush on their friend. Perfectly normal behavior. At least it felt better than listening to Sirius complain endlessly.
It had been raining the whole week leading up to Sirius' birthday and the birthday boy was sulking moodily as they waited for nightfall to come so they could throw his party. There would be extremely limited alcohol (the cause of Sirius' bad mood) because the rain had prevented the boys from making their way to Hogsmeade. The tunnel they usually took to sneak into the village got damp and dripped rainwater when it rained enough and James was unsure what would happen if the cloak got wet. It didn't help that Messalina, who had initially said she would get it for them, was quite furious at Sirius and Peter at the moment.
It had started off innocently enough with the boys playing a rousing game of Exploding Snap to ring in Sirius' birthday the night before. It was a quarter to midnight when the boys seemed to recall Messalina had her lessons with Pucey and Vector on Friday nights and, anxious to see if they could see either of them being thrown across the room on the Map, gleefully pulled it out and sought out the DADA classroom. The Common Room was empty aside from the Marauders, everyone trying to study having been driven away by their loud antics, and they spread the Map out on the table to get a better look when they saw only Vector on the classroom. Remus' heart stopped as his stomach roiled when Peter pointed out two sets of footprints standing quite close outside the Great Hall. Messalina and Graham Pucey were standing beside the staircase that would lead up to the Gryffindor Common Room and down to the Slytherin dungeons, apparently almost on top of each other if the Map was to be believed. And, to Remus' dismay, the Map had never been wrong before. He wondered if it was possible to have a heart attack from shock as his chest constricted and his face grew increasingly hotter.
The Marauders must have decided to start spying just when whatever was going on there ended as the pair of footprints broke apart, Messalina heading up at a quick pace and Pucey leisurely heading downstairs. Remus could picture the contented look on Graham Pucey's handsome face and he fleetingly hoped the boy tripped on the steps going downstairs and broke something.
"Are you alright, Moony?" Peter had asked, staring at Remus with wide, concerned eyes. He had nodded in response, certain he would be unable to speak as his mouth had gone dry at the thought of Messalina snogging Graham. Pucey was, after all, a much better match for the girl than Remus was. Incredibly handsome (girls didn't gush about him and Sirius for no reason), capable of apparently charming anyone if this snogging was any indication, talented enough to have job prospects on the horizon, and most importantly not a 'half-breed' as the Ministry referred to his kind. You know, everything a girl like Messalina could want and deserve. And everything Remus did not have.
The other Marauders quickly folded the Map and James shoved it into his back pocket as Messalina's footprints drew closer and they were all huddled around the table still when she entered. Unlike the last time Remus had seen her return from an extra DADA lesson, she was without a visible mark on her skin and did not appear half as tired. Instead, there was an almost detectible bounce in her step and Remus realized his worst suspicions were likely confirmed. He wondered if she would figure out he liked her if he threw up all over the plush carpet. They might be about to find out if the churning of his stomach didn't stop soon.
"Oh, hello boys," she had called when her eyes fell on them and she approached their table, her hands firmly in her robe pockets. Up close, Remus noticed her hair was falling out of its braids and her lips looked swollen. It took everything in him to keep breathing. "What are you lot still doing up?"
"Didn't take you as the type to be in the corridors after hours, Lucien," Sirius said, ignoring her question and glaring at her. She blinked and Remus caught the genuine look of confusion of her face before she scowled right back at Sirius. "Thought you prided yourself on no detentions. You only say it once a day."
"Not that it is any of your business, Black, but I happen to have a note that says exactly this 'Messalina Lucien can go wherever the hell she wants whenever the hell she wants'. It's called a part of being a trustworthy student. You can be trusted with extracurriculars after hours."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know snogging Pucey was considered an extracurricular." Sirius spat at her, more vehemence in his voice than Remus had expected from him. In hindsight, they ought to have known Sirius was not over his dislike for Messalina's friendship with Pucey. Since he had first brought it up at breakfast before the Gryffindor-Hufflepuff match, Sirius had been mostly silent on the matter but had added little japes about it to her when the opportunity presented itself. And judging by Sirius and Messalina's tumultuous relationship, they ought to have known a bigger fight was to come. But, Remus had tried to hope his friend wouldn't be so stupid so as to bring it up again so soon but he realized how wrong he was when Sirius continued. "I bet half the school has partaken in that activity."
"What are you talking about?" Messalina's voice was tight and she did not look away from Sirius even as James cleared his throat loudly and gave Sirius a warning look. Had Remus been in his right mind rather than picturing Pucey snogging Messalina as Caradoc Dearborn had in Hogsmeade, he might have said something to Sirius. But that Gryffindor bravery and chivalry he so wanted to have had deserted him and he just stared.
"I wouldn't trust a Slytherin, Lina," Peter added unhelpfully and Remus wondered if the boy had forgotten everything he knew about Messalina Lucien. The pair had been friends for years since they had been paired together in Herbology, and Remus had always thought Peter understood Messalina better than to say something like that to her. Evidently, she had as well as she looked at him disbelievingly.
"Don't even pretend, you've got that 'just snogged' look all over your face, Lucien."
"What?" Her jaw clenched as she spoke and Remus knew he had to say something, but before he could gather the nerve, Sirius spoke again.
"I never thought you the type to get tangled up with a slippery snake that's all. Thought you'd want to hang around decent witches and wizards."
"Shut up, Sirius." James' voice was an unexpected addition to the argument and Remus wondered briefly if he was dreaming. James Potter had only gone against Sirius Black once in their whole friendship and that had been an entirely different, life or death situation. Saving Snape from discovering Remus as a werewolf certainly did not merit the same response as Sirius mocking Messalina, but James had decided to stick up for her.
"I think we might have a very different definition of what makes someone a decent wizard, Black. I thought judging people based on their House and not their character was more of a Death Eater thing. And nothing is going on with me and Pucey other than extra DADA lessons and him healing a bruise for me tonight. The 'just snogged' look is from a stinging hex, you insufferable prat."
"I thought-"
"That's enough, Sirius," Remus interjected when he finally felt capable of speaking. Messalina's statement that nothing was going on between her and Pucey had been enough to break him from his stupor and realize this surreal moment was actually happening. "It's none of our business, you're being an arsehole."
"Thank you Remus, thank you James. I'm glad two of you are actually decent wizards. Oh, and by the way, I'm too busy to get that firewhisky tomorrow." She had stalked off to the staircase then, taking the steps two at a time up to her dorm. Remus was too relieved she didn't think less of him and wasn't involved with Pucey to care about Sirius' party falling apart and even James had seemed lost in thought when they had eventually gone to bed.
And now, half a day later, Messalina's decision on the matter was unchanged. James had pushed Sirius and Peter to apologize at breakfast, telling Sirius he ought to if he wanted to have a semi-decent party, but she had brushed them off completely. The other girls were also upset with Sirius and Peter and Remus could practically feel the seamless party planning system the Prewett twins had implemented falling apart. He had overheard the girls talking about a 'much needed girls night' at breakfast and judging by Messalina's stubbornness, general dislike of Sirius, and current state of sleeping in front of the fire, it seemed unlikely the seventh year girls would even appear at the party.
He wished he felt better about the outcome than he actually did. He had spent much of his 'friendship' with Messalina actively trying to avoid her, especially now that he thought she might know something about a certain furry little problem. It had been hard enough not to give into his feelings for her when they were acquaintances, but with their friendship had come studying together just the two of them at night sometimes when everyone else went to bed, trading amused looks when Lily was more than civil with James, and talking about anything and everything that came to mind when they were together. Her presence was intoxicating and Remus knew better than to continue this friendship for both of their sakes, but he was utterly unable to pull away and distance himself from her. He had been certain for years that there would be no other girl he would ever be interested in and had considered it to be a good thing. She had been entirely untouchable, unapproachable for so long that there was no risk to allowing himself to feel as he did. But now, there was rarely a day they didn't at least talk briefly and he felt his resolve to stay away crumbling.
"Lina!" Marlene's voice broke him from his thoughts and he looked up from his textbook to see the girl kicking Messalina in the leg. "Wake up!"
"What?" Messalina groaned, rolling over and glaring up at Marlene. From what Remus could tell without overtly staring at the pair, Marlene was gesturing at where James and Lily had just returned from the weekly prefect meeting and were chatting amicably beside the Portrait Hole. James looked beside himself, an enthusiastic smile on his face as Lily spoke.
Remus risked a glance over at Messalina was whispering back and forth with Marlene, who was gesturing wildly with her hands. The irritated look on Messalina's face told him Marlene was practicing the Prewett twins' convincing technique and was slowly winning her over judging by Messalina nodding imperceptibly.
"Think we'll get that firewhisky after all?" Peter's hopeful voice drew Remus' attention back to his own table and he shrugged. Had it been the twins telling Messalina to do something, his answer would have been a resounding yes. But it was Marlene and Merlin knew what the girl was trying to convince her of. Could be to put in a good word for Marlene to Fabian Prewett for all they knew. It was probably more likely than Marlene trying to get drinks for Sirius' party.
"I apologized, you can't put the blame on me for her choosing a snake over her own House's fun," Sirius grumbled, scowling out the window at the rain. He had been in an incredibly sour mood all day, punctuated only by his enjoyment of the gifts he had received from the other Marauders. Not even the extra attention from the girls of the school seemed to be cheering him up and Remus couldn't help but feel he deserved it.
"If she wants to be friends with Pucey, we should trust her judgement. Even James said he can't be that bad if she can stand to spend so much time with him," Remus pointed out carefully. "What you both said was uncalled for yesterday, I can't blame her for being upset."
"That's because you're obsessed with her," Sirius hissed, his eyes flicking over to where Messalina was sitting. She did look rather nice today in what she always referred to as a 'Molly sweater' that had half a hundred MLs stitched into it and her hair falling loose around her shoulders. And yes, Remus had taken advantage of her napping by the fire to glance over at her every so often and yes he had expressed his anger with Sirius and Peter after she had stormed off the night before and yes he might talk about her more often than a friend would, but he wouldn't say he was obsessed.
"It's because-" Remus started, unsure of where he was going with that line, when he paused. Messalina and Marlene had gotten up from the spot in front of the fire and were making their way over to the Marauders' table. Marlene looked very pleased with herself, a smile on her face as she gestured to James and Lily still talking. Messalina, on the other hand, looked as though she was engaged in a 'who can look the picture of misery best' contest with Sirius and Remus thought she was winning. But he also might biased more towards her.
"Look, we're doing this because that," Marlene started (in a surprisingly low voice for her), jerking her head towards Lily. "Won't happen if we have girls night and you have stag night. And I want romance. And Lina has decided she can muster the strength to get the firewhisky for five galleons out of Sirius' own pockets."
"Deal." A silence fell on the group as Sirius rummaged about in his bag for the money and Remus noticed Messalina was refusing to even look at Sirius and Peter, instead she stared at the heavy tome on Roman witches and wizards in front of him. N.E.W.T History of Magic wasn't an easy subject after all and he wondered fleetingly why Messalina, who seemed to know a great deal about history from her time bedridden as a child, had not pursued a subject she seemed genuinely interested in. "Here, Lucien."
Sirius handed Messalina the coins and she pocketed them quickly, glaring at his outstretched hand. Just as she turned to walk away without a word, however, Marlene placed a hand on her forearm.
"I think you should take Remus with you, to help carry everything," Marlene said, a mischievous glint in her eyes that Remus did not like the look of at all. Messalina seemed oblivious to it thankfully as she just blinked in surprise. "Plus, Remus can keep a secret from those three, can't you Remus? For Lina?"
"Uh, yeah I can." Remus wanted to hit himself. He had meant to say 'oh I'd love to, but I need to stay with Sirius for his birthday' or some other inane excuse that would make no real sense but would at least keep him from wandering the castle with the girl of his dreams. But it seemed there was a disconnect between his brain and the rest of his body as he smiled at her.
"Can you? Keep a secret from them?" Messalina asked after a long moment made Remus wonder how awkward it would be if she refused his help. In the long run, he would be grateful but it might break his heart if it happened now. Remus nodded in response, unsure he could form a coherent sentence. "Okay, let's go then."
It felt like a dream as Remus packed his homework back into his bag and asked Peter to take it back to their dorm if they left. He made sure to grab the Map from Sirius, ignoring the smug look his friend shot him. It certainly didn't feel real when he crossed the Common Room following Messalina, trying hard to concentrate on something other than the fact that they were going to be alone for Merlin knows how long, traipsing the corridors in search of more firewhisky than they could drink in a night.
"Can you keep a secret from them?" Messalina's voice reached him as the clambered through the Portrait Hole, ignoring the protests from the Fat Lady at being awoken from her nap. Messalina was looking at him in a thoughtful manner that made him certain she had deciphered all of his disappearances and his furry little problem. His stomach churned painfully as he nodded at her. "It's not so much that I don't want Potter or Peter to know as it is I can't have Sirius here with a new girl every week, the whole school would know about it within the month."
"I can keep a secret," Remus promised, trying hard to ignore the way his heart soared when she smiled at him. "Where do you get it from anyways?"
"You'll see, you won't believe me if I tell you right now."
"Oh really?"
"Seeing is believing, Remus Lupin. Have some faith."
A silence fell over them as they walked and Remus wracked his brain to think of something, anything, to break the quiet. Bringing up the night before would doubtless just anger her again or even make her reflect on the fact that it had taken Remus a long time to stand up for her. Longer than even James, who she certainly wasn't friends with. He didn't want to ask about the twins either. According to his friends, she had seemed quite out of it during and after their Hogsmeade visit and Remus theorized it had something to do with being confronted by the realities of the War and being an Auror. He couldn't judge her for being wary about it and the last thing he wanted to do was make her remember how much danger her best friends were every day. But what was a safe subject? School seemed boring but safe and he supposed if he bored her, she might decide never to be alone with him for such a prolonged period again. And that be such a bad thing? His head said no but his heart ached at the thought.
"Why didn't you take N.E.W.T. History of Magic?" His question hung in the air for several seconds and she looked up at him in surprise.
"I only need the five N.E.W.T.s to get into the Auror program. So I stopped taking it when I didn't have to anymore, but I do still enjoy reading about the histories when I have the time. It's more enjoyable than the class. I'd hardly call Binns the best orator, would you?"
"I do kind of regret taking the class," Remus admitted, grateful he had been able to keep 'I only took it because I thought you'd be in it' to himself. "He bores me to sleep almost every lecture."
"Even with the Romans? I couldn't help but notice the book you were reading in the Common Room."
"To be honest, I've scarcely done more than memorized a few events for my essays. I'm expecting a T on the exam."
"Have you learned about my namesake yet? She's rather fascinating." Messalina asked, grabbing his arm absentmindedly to led him up a staircase. He tried to focus on the questioning look on her face and the intent look in her eyes rather than the residual warmth her hand had left on his forearm. She had only placed her hand there long enough to indicate they were changing directions but it felt as though it had been there for far longer. He could do nothing but shake his head, knowing he would stutter if he answered her actual question.
"Well, she was a witch that married the Emperor of the Roman Empire. They were second cousins, but he was a squib and the family worried what would happen if a muggle child gained power," she began, a small smile on her face as she recounted the story. "She kept him under her spell, if you want to use the muggle phrasing as Lily does, using Amortentia. She was rather ruthless, believing she could perpetuate pureblood supremacy across the empire. She was very powerful for a time, essentially running the entire empire and banishing and exiling all who went against her. Her beauty and cleverness got her very far, but in the end she gave her husband an inferior batch of Amortentia and he came to his senses and had her killed for her wickedness."
"A rather anticlimactic end for such a woman."
"She paved the way for years of pureblood supremacy in the empire, my family heralds her as a type of savior. There's a portrait of her in one of the hallways at the manor. They're rather attracted to her ambitious nature and beauty. They hoped a child named for such a powerful witch may have similar characteristics," Messalina explained, rolling her eyes and grinning at Remus. "Unfortunately for them, it didn't exactly work out that way."
"It's their loss." Remus was surprised by the confidence in his declaration but was pleased to see Messalina flush ever so slightly. "That was much more interesting than one of Binns' lectures. He just rambles on about nothing. If you get tired of being an Auror, you ought to replace Binns."
"I hope there is a day when Aurors leave of their own accord." Her response lacked the lightheartness the rest of their conversation had and Remus cursed himself internally for ruining the mood. Suddenly the idea of her not wanting to be alone with him wasn't so appealing. Before he could think of how to salvage the moment, she stopped walking and offered him a dazzling smile. "We're here."
Here turned out to be a corridor on the seventh floor across the way from a tapestry of some fellow trying to teach trolls how to ballet dance. There was no door, just smooth expanses of stone and torches. Remus had walked past this location multiple times when the Marauders had been trying to figure out where the firewhisky had come from but they had never been able to find it. And they had been in the right place all along it seemed.
"Uh, Lina, how exactly do you get the firewhisky?"
"We'll get to that. Come over here," she said, grabbing his arm and dragging him a bit further down the hallway. "Now, we're going to walk past the spot directly across from those ugly trolls three times. You need to think exactly this and only this: 'I need somewhere that will give me enough firewhisky for an eternity'."
"Lina-"
"Have some faith. Believe that room exists, okay?" Before he could answer, her hand moved from his forearm to hold his own hand and suddenly Remus' worry wasn't that the room wasn't real but that he would never be able to feel anything better than this. Of her fingers intertwined with his own and the soft look in her eyes as she gazed up at him. He nodded, swallowing hard and she squeezed his hand before pulling him through the corridor again.
Remus tried to think of what she had told him, he really did, but he wasn't sure his concentration had ever been so weak. She was determined for it to work, though, as she dragged him across the walkway three times before coming to a stop in front of a bright red door that Remus knew had not been there several moments ago. He gaped at her and she laughed aloud, pulling her hand from his to reach for the door handle.
"I told you it would work," she teased, yanking the door open and gesturing for Remus to step inside the room. Certain she had played some sort of trick on him and when he tried to enter he would discover it was an illusion and he would hit the wall, Remus still stepped inside. His fears were disconfirmed when he realized he was indeed inside a massive room and he stared at Messalina as she stepped in behind him and closed the door.
The room was huge, likely the size of the Great Hall if not even larger. There were rows and rows of shelves, each adorned with a half a hundred bottles of firewhisky and from where Remus was standing, he could see over ten different labels marking a new brand. It felt as though all firewhisky drank in the world had to come from this room as there was no other explanation for why it would exist. He knew his mouth was open right around the time he realized Messalina was laughing at him and he tore his gaze from the room to look down at her.
"How did you even find this place? What is this place?"
"Molly found it when she was a seventh year trying to avoid detention. Her and Arthur were running away from the old caretaker and when Arthur got caught, she'd gotten lost in the corridor and went by this spot three times before a broom closet door appeared and she hid in it. Naturally, the twins found out about it somehow and when they came to Hogwarts, they set out to figure out how a broom closet can appear from nowhere," she explained, walking forward to examine the first row of firewhisky. "By the time I got here in their second year, they had already learned the room's secrets."
"How can it be both a broom closet and whatever this is?"
"That's what the twins wanted to know. See, when they were first investigating it, they got the broom closet because that's what they were thinking about. The next time they tried, they got a place to hide things because they wanted to stash a Playwitch magazine they'd stolen from Archie Wood. By the time they trusted me with the secret, they had found over fifty different rooms here. Do you see what the trick to it is yet?"
"It turns into whatever you're thinking about when you walk by?" Remus answered, hoping he didn't sound a fool. His fear was quickly quashed, though, as Messalina gave him a delighted smile and nodded her head.
"You're very clever, Remus Lupin."
"What do you call this place?" He asked, pulling his eyes away from hers and clearing his throat. Had it suddenly become very hot and stifling in the room or had it always been this warm? Messalina's face looked flushed and he contented himself to think the room was just warm. Because you store firewhisky in a warm room, a little voice in the back of his head whispered and he shook his head to clear any of those types of thoughts from his head.
"We call it the Come and Go Room, which is why I'd prefer Sirius not find out about it, he'd take that name rather literally," she replied, pulling a second bottle of firewhisky off the shelf and muttering a quick spell to shrink it to a fifth of its size. She shoved it into the pocket of her jacket, gesturing for him to follow her as she made her way to a new row and a new brand. "We asked the house elves about it once, they call it the Room of Requirement for the most part though a few preferred our name to that one."
"What else do you use it for?" Please say you never brought Dearborn here, please say you never brought Dearborn here, he thought to himself. He could scarcely handle seeing them snogging or hearing Dearborn announce to the school that they'd been doing much more than that, he would not be able to breathe if she said some of those activities had taken place in this strange room.
"To get away for an afternoon of just the three of us. To study sometimes if the Common Room or library were too busy. Not much else, really. It was a rule, you see, to never bring another person here. Only a member of our trio could come here, no other friends or boyfriends or girlfriends allowed. Lily's never even been here before, she thinks we steal the firewhisky from the professors. This is the first time I've even been here this year."
"Then how come I'm here?"
"They've graduated and I needed a hand carrying all this stuff back, like Marlene said," Messalina said and Remus wondered if it was his imagination or if she was refusing to look at him. She put another shrunken bottle of firewhisky in her pocket and something told Remus she was lying. "Do you mind shrinking some bottles too? I'd rather like to see Black get drunk enough to try something on Marlene as always. It does wonders for my anger to see him embarrassed."
"What were the galleons for if all this is free?"
"I'm rather partial to spoiling my nephews," she said with a laugh. "And it adds to the mystery of it all."
When Messalina was contented that they had enough bottles for the party and then some, she began to make her way back towards the door, much to Remus' disappointment. He tried hard to think of something he could do that would show her he was just as 'cool' as she was. That he had a secret that would draw amazement from her just as hers had for him. His furry little problem was just about as far from that as possible and the only real secret he could think of aside from that were the animagi but that wasn't his secret to share and there was no way he could explain it without mentioning the furry little problem. Just as he was able to head off after her, he remembered the Map shoved into the back of his jeans. He pulled it out, jogging over to her as she made to open the door.
"Lina! I have something to show you," he declared, waving the Map at her. She furrowed her brow but seemed determined to flatter him by acting like a blank bit of old parchment was as fascinating as a room that takes a different shape depending on a person's needs. His friends would kill him if they found out he showed her this, but he was driven by a desire to seem just as interesting as she was and he would face the consequences later. "Can you keep a secret?"
"I'd thought that would be obvious by now."
"Well yeah I suppose," he said sheepishly, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck nervously as she gave him an appraising look.
"I'll keep whatever you show me a secret if you do the same with this room," she promised, stepping away from the door and towards him. She trailed after him as he searched the room for a flat surface and he wondered fleetingly if she thought he had gone mad. At least if she had, she was determined to see it through to the end.
He finally found a flat table after several moments of combing the shelves and he led her over to it. Handing her the Map, he tried to ignore how close they were standing and just how hot the room felt. She looked up at him expectantly, likely thinking she might as well pitch the parchment and return to her friends in the Common Room. Just as she opened her mouth, Remus pulled his wand out and pressed it into the parchment. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
The look of genuine shock and awe on Messalina's face was worth whatever fight would break out if the other Marauders found out he had shared their most sacred artifact with a girl Sirius openly disliked and did not trust.
"Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present The Marauder's Map," she whispered, amazement evident in her tone. Remus wondered if this was how surprised he had looked when she had opened the door to the room and he smiled widely.
"Here, I'll show you the whole Map," he said, taking it from her hands and spreading the whole parchment across the table. Messalina's eyes were wide as she took in the detailed layout of the grounds, her hands reaching forward to trace their friends' footprints in the Common Room.
"You lot made this? How is that even possible?"
"As I'm sure you know, Lily Evans is very good at Charms. And you may recall James spent a lot of time in the library at the beginning of fourth year trying to get better at the subject to impress her. He found this charm in a book that lets whoever holds a document track everyone who enters a plotted area. It took a long time to figure out how to get the charm to work so we took all of fourth and fifth year plotting everything we knew about the castle and just after O.W.L.s, James was able to Charm the Map to show everyone," Remus explained, watching as Messalina took in the Map. She truly was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and the idea that he could bring such a look of wonderment to her face made his heart soar.
"So this is how you get away with all the pranks? Well, some of the pranks I should say."
"It comes in very handy for all those who wish to cause mischief."
"How come the other boys aren't on here?" She asked, her brows furrowed as she gazed at the Common Room.
"We made it so our names would only show up to the other Marauders, so if the Map fell into the wrong hands, they couldn't see what were doing."
"Fascinating," she breathed, turning to face Remus. He had not realized just how close they were and just as he went to take a step back, her hand grabbed his and kept him place. Her dark eyes were gazing up at him, the amazement still evident and Remus swallowed hard. His mouth felt like sandpaper and he felt powerless to move as her eyes flicked to his lips. He had never wanted something so much in his life and yet as the moment he had spent years dreaming about seemed about to come to fruition, he knew it could not happen. It took Messalina moving ever so slightly towards him for whatever shock had come over him to wear off.
Here, standing so close he could almost feel her breath on his face, was a girl that was going places. One of the best young women he had ever had the opportunity to meet. Selfless, brave, wicked smart, and beautiful. He could scarcely believe she was interested in being friends with him, yet she was willing to go even further with him if what he thought was happening way happening. She was interested in him. A werewolf that would never hold a steady job, would never be accepted within polite wizarding society, and would spend his adult life as an outcast. He was scarred and would be even more so after each full moon. She deserved so much more and just because she didn't know it, he wouldn't take advantage of her. He respected who she was more than he wanted the fantasy of her.
He jerked away from her at the realization, wrenching his hand from hers and taking several steps back. He was breathing hard, looking everywhere but at her as he fought to keep himself steady. Despite blatantly trying to avoid looking at her, he could tell she was mortified as she stammered an apology followed quickly by an urgent need to get back to the Common Room. Remus could do nothing but stand there, the sound of his heart beating the only thing he could hear, and watch as the girl of his dreams walked away as quickly as she could without running. His eyes fell to the Map when she made it to the corridor and he watched as her footsteps took off rapidly in the direction of the Common Room.
How long he stood there, he wasn't sure. It was long enough to see her footprints make it to the Common Room and pause at the spots in front of the fireplace where the other seventh years were lounging. He watched as she moved away from them and moved quickly up the stairs to her dorm, Lily following closely after. He had to look away when they made it to the dorm, certain no one had ever felt such heart ache as he did in that moment.
But despite the ache in his chest, he knew he had done the right thing. She deserved better than a dangerous werewolf who could provide nothing to her, the girl who deserved everything. Not getting involved was the right thing to do. Right?
