"Lex, I really don't care what shady shenanigans you get up to. I'm not asking and I don't intend to." Harry assured the bald headed millionaire as they entered the somewhat derelict remains of the Talon, the town's former movie theatre. After last nights thwarted blackmail and extortion attempt, Lex wanted to make sure he wasn't going to get an official visit from Death.
"And I appreciate that, but I just wanted to assure you it isn't as bad as it seems."
"Is everything ok? We could do this later." Lana offered as she greeted the two men she had been waiting for.
"No, we're done. Right Lex?"
Lex just sighed. "I'm sorry Lana, please begin."
This was it. This was what she had spent the better part of two days working on. Chloe and Pete had contributed and even Lorna had offered a suggestion.
She extolled the merits of the old town theatre and it's potential in today's world. How live bands would appeal to the younger generation and the right colours and layout would bring in the rest. She waxed lyrical on how her parents were a prime example of how teenagers hooked up in a place like this.
She then laid out the business side of the plan. She offered to work and run the place and take full responsibility.
And then she had the hard part.
Waiting for a response.
"Harry, what do you think?" Lex asked, his face and voice neutral.
"With a little training and experience I think she'd make a good sales-person."
"Agreed, but I meant about the proposal itself."
"It's a good proposal with one fatal flaw."
Lana sucked in a breath of fear.
"A second coffee shop will be a novelty but will ultimately split the consumers into two groups, the younger generation and the rest. It will fail as a result because it won't be able to pull a solid majority."
"So you think the project is a lost cause?" Lex asked.
"As it stands, yes. It has a chance of surviving but not a good chance. For it to really survive it requires something more. Something that will force the Beanery to concede defeat."
"ESPN?" Lex offered.
"What? Oh, no. That will just turn this into a sports bar and Lana will be stuck in a dead end job she hates. No, it needs to be able to fulfil its original purpose. You need to renovate and reopen the theatre."
Lana's heart dropped to her stomach as despair filled her. There was no way she could squeeze that into her budget.
"That's a lot of money, Harry."
"Which when you take into account the advertising revenues and boom in Hollywood, it will pay for itself."
Lex looked around the stripped room.
"Ok, it's a deal. I'll sell you the building in return for rental agreements to run the coffee shop."
Lana was confused.
"Congratulations Miss Lang, you just secured your first business." Harry smiled as he held out his hand.
Lana, still confused, took Harry's hand. "I don't understand."
"Lana, I was reluctant to go ahead with your plan." Lex admitted. "I had my own experts check for feasibility and they said it was a money pit. Harry suggested the idea that a movie theatre would draw the crowds back, I couldn't justify throwing that much money at the project so Harry offered to buy the building and rebuild the theatre whilst I pay for the coffee shop."
"What will I be doing?" Lana asked.
"Considering your disastrous career as a waitress we decided you would handle the paperwork and staffing side of things. Your position will be as Assistant Manager. You will answer to the Manager and us." Harry grinned.
"Who will the Manager be?" She asked hesitantly.
"Coach Summers. It's good to have an intimidating face around the place. We might have some of the other castle residents pick up the job of Manager now and then. You will be responsible for closing the place down at the end of the day, you will work one day of the weekend and four days during the week. You will be part time only and it is not to interfere with your other activities such as your position at the school newspaper or your studies." Harry explained.
"Sounds daunting, doesn't it." Lex said with a sympathetic smile.
Lana could only nod with wide and slightly fearful eyes.
Whitney Fordman was gone. He had been expelled from the school and arrested for being part of the extortion and blackmail attempts on Lex. His father had decided his son needed to learn responsibility so he had taken him and enlisted him in the Marines with Lex's aid. It was the biggest news since the gorgeous Emma Frost arrived as Principal.
Chloe was out of the Luthor Mansion after having spent a suitable amount of time 'recovering'. Lorna had spent a fair amount of time talking with her and answering questions. Part of the test was that she couldn't talk to Lex or even acknowledge they knew about the same things.
She had been fairly insulted when Lex tried to bribe her. He had just laughed and told her she did a good job.
She had kept up on the gossip and even managed to write a story or two for the Torch that Lana assigned her. Lana seemed intent on getting Chloe back as Editor so she gave her the juiciest assignments.
Today was her first day back and the biggest class assignment was to write a six-page biography on a fellow classmate. She had been assigned Clark Kent. Mr. Super Secretive.
Clark was assigned Lana Lang and that seemed to have sent him over the moon. Clark was her best friend and Lana was growing on her but jealousy still ate at her, she managed to hide her feelings well though.
The person assigned to do her biography was Celeste Cuckoo. She was not looking forward to that encounter as she was not a fan of Clark's groupies.
Chloe decided to go straight to the source for her biography, Jonathan and Martha Kent.
Clark arrived home to find his worst nightmare waiting for him. Chloe Sullivan interviewing his parents.
"Clark, how did your interview with Lana go?" Martha asked as she grasped onto the first distraction she found. The senior Kents had just discovered that Chloe's middle name was 'Tenacious'.
"It went ok… Chloe, why are you here?"
"Your biography Clark. Who better to get the scoop from than your parents?" She smiled.
"Yeah… thanks for asking." Clark said sarcastically, but Chloe either missed it or ignored it.
"So, what can you tell me about Clark's adoption?"
"His adoption?" Martha did not want to go down this route.
"Yes, did you meet his biological parents or-"
"Chloe!" Clark snapped.
"What?" Chloe asked clearly not understanding what the problem was.
"Tell me Chloe, how will you react when Celeste asks your father about your mother?" Amara asked quietly from the kitchen counter where she was drinking some tea.
"Why would she do that?" Chloe asked with narrowed eyes.
"Why would you ask about Clark's adoption?"
"It's part of his biography, where he came from and who he is."
"Just as your mother is a part of yours." Martha said, continuing Amara's point.
"No she is not." Chloe said angrily. "She had better leave my mother out of it."
"Maybe you should offer the same consideration to the Kents." Amara chided gently.
Chloe didn't seem to be listening as she was hastily clearing up. "I'll be back later!" She called out as she rushed out the door.
"Maybe I should-"
"Leave her be Clark." Amara warned. "Sometimes it isn't your job to help and save others."
Lana Lang had given Clark Kent a brief summary of her life. She wasn't as surprised as she thought she should be to find out he already knew most of it. Clark knew and watched her; she knew that, had for years. The difference between Clark and stalkers like Tina and Greg was that he never imposed himself. He went out of his way to help her; even at the cost of what he wanted… his own happiness.
That was what attracted her to him.
Which made the subject of her assignment fairly… awkward. Phoebe Cuckoo was one of the triplets. She and her sisters may as well have dropped their knickers and pissed all over him with their displays. They tried to make it quite clear he was theirs.
She found it hard to believe Lorna's contrary statements.
"Come on Lana, I don't bite!" Phoebe smiled as she bared all her teeth teasingly as they sat in the empty remains of the Talon, the repairman had retired for the day and they were alone.
"I've seen you with Clark, I'm fairly certain you do." She said with nervous laugh.
"Clark is fun to tease, hopefully we will be able to break him out of that shy farm boy shell of his." She shrugged. "Of course we also need to break you out of your shy small town princess shell." She added with a smirk.
"I'm fine as I am." She smiled, but she was a little tense. The triplets were very forward but they were clearly good people at heart.
"Sure, if you're not interested in truly capturing Clark's heart."
"I don't know what you mean, maybe we should begin." The smile fell as she opened her notebook.
"Lana, we want to help you get Clark, but there is a test you need to pass first." Phoebe said seriously.
Lana became a little worried when Mindee and Celeste suddenly appeared behind their sister out of thin air.
"How did you get in here?" She asked as she backed away.
"We aren't going to hurt you." Celeste assured her.
"We really just want to help you get Clark." Mindee continued.
"All we ask is a little patience and to accept our test." Phoebe finished as her sisters conjured seats out of thin air causing Lana to start reaching for the door handle, when she couldn't find it she turned around and was horrified to find the door had vanished.
"What did you do?!"
"Lana, please sit down, we just want to talk. We promise we have no intention of harming you or anyone else. We really do just want to talk." Phoebe said calmly.
"How are you doing this?" The fear was evident in her voice.
"We are witches."
"Witches?"
"Not those kinds of witches." Mindee sighed as images from The Wizard of Oz rushed to Lana's mind.
"Nor those!" Celeste scoffed as Lana thought of Wicca's.
"Ok… technically we aren't those either, but we'd be more than willing to give it a shot." Mindee grinned salaciously as scenes from a late night adult movie she had 'accidentally' stumbled across flew through Lana's mind.
"Lana Lang! Sit!" Phoebe commanded as she stood up with a stern look on her face.
Not thinking she had much of a choice she took a seat, but she was very much on the edge of it.
"As we were saying…"
"We are witches…"
"And-"
"Stop!" Lana closed her eyes to calm herself, fear and frustration getting to her. "Just one of you speak."
"That is part of what we want to talk to you about, Lana." Phoebe was always seen as the most prominent of the trio, which was the way they chose to be. "There is only one of us."
Lana looked at them carefully. "I can clearly see three of you."
"Three bodies but we have one mind. One mind shared by three bodies."
"You mean like Twin Telepathy?"
"No, we literally have one mind, a hive mind if you will."
"So… one of you controls three bodies?"
"It's hard to explain, but each body has a mind and personality but those are part of a single mind and personality. We all hear, feel and experience what the others do."
Lana sat there trying to run the logistics of the concept through her mind. "That… can I just pretend you have permanent shared telepathy?"
The girls giggled. "Sure, but if you think that's bad, remember that there used to be five of us." Celeste laughed.
Lana felt a headache as she tried to imagine that.
"You weren't far off with the telepathy though." Phoebe took up the conversation again. "We are telepathic. We hear everyone's thoughts, we can't not hear them. We have learnt to ignore them to a degree."
The fear and guilt was clear to see in Lana's eyes.
"Relax, we don't go looking." Phoebe assured her.
"But you can hear what I am thinking now?"
"Yes, but I don't think you need to worry about us hearing you think 'oh god oh god oh god' over and over again." Celeste commented dryly.
That did not ease Lana's panic.
"Ok… ok…" She said as she took calming breaths. "You three are telepathic witches with one mind."
All three nodded.
"You don't want to hurt me?"
Three head shakes.
"Kidnap me?"
Three head shakes.
"Eat me?"
"Could you define: 'eat'?" Mindee grinned with a suggestive eyebrow waggle.
This earned her a slap from Phoebe. "Ignore her, we don't want to eat you."
"Why are you telling me this then?"
"It's a bit of a test." Phoebe explained. "Our secrets are fairly insignificant compared to other secrets we know. We want to trust you with those secrets but we need to see how you will react to our personal secrets."
"Why me?"
"Everybody needs a friend." Celeste shrugged. "Even us."
Pete was exhausted. That wasn't so bad, he had just been run through all the drills by Coach Summers.
What made it bad… or more accurately: annoying, was the fact that his best friend the starting Quarterback wasn't even sweating. His breathing was good and he definitely didn't seem to be aching.
It made him want to kick him in the balls just to see if he was human.
"I think I hate you Clark."
"Don't blame me for my impressive stamina!" Clark laughed. "Coach says you've improved, he's thinking of putting you on the starting line-up."
"Really?" The excitement in his voice was almost palpable.
"Ross! Hurry up and get changed then meet me in my office." Coach Summers called into the steamy locker room.
Pete and looked at Clark. "You don't think…?"
"I think a lot of things Pete, but Harry once told me to avoid speculation and just get the answers from the source." Clark told him.
"Pete, good, take a seat." Scott said, his face neutral along with everything else about him. He was in full professor mode.
"What's up Coach?"
"Well, the good news is, you've made the starting line-up."
Pete smiled happily.
"You worked hard for it and you deserve it. But you need to be mindful of the fact that you still don't have the same stamina as the other players, you are working on it but I will need to switch you out at times when I see you flagging."
"Sure Coach, I understand." That grin would likely need to be sand blasted off.
"Now comes for the… other news." Scott said.
"That doesn't sound good." That smile nearly slipped.
"It's not bad news, it's not even news really. Pete, for reasons I can't explain I am going to let you in on a personal secret.
Pete's smile was frozen… his mouth was still smiling but there was fear in his eyes. "I don't know what you've heard Coach but I really don't swing that way." Pete laughed nervously.
Scott was gobsmacked.
"Coach?"
"Pete, first off you are underage and I am your Coach, second I'm as straight as you are." Scott assured him.
"Oh… then forget I said anything." Pete said nervously. Apparently embarrassment was able to remove that smile.
Scott rolled his eyes. "Pete, I'm going to be blunt. Try not to go running off in fear, ok?"
Now Pete was confused. "Sure Coach, whatever."
Scott wasn't sure why he agreed to this. Dani came up with some weird ideas at times. Oh that's right, she had his wives double-team him into submission along with the Cuckoos and Laura. Those last four always played to his parental feelings for them. Some things never changed no matter how old you got.
"I'm a Wizard, Pete. I can do magic." Scott stated as he began transfiguring the pencils on his desk into kittens and puppies.
"Whoa!" Pete fell over backwards in his chair as he tried to back away.
"Pete, didn't we just agree that you wouldn't go running in fear?"
Pete picked himself up off the floor. "Fear? That's not fear that's mind-blowing awe! You could make so much money!"
Scott rubbed his temples; those girls were going to pay for this.
The following day Clark arrived at the school having made it to the bus stop on time, this was mainly because the Cuckoos would have arrived at the farm to escort him. Clark was a yellow-bellied chicken but he didn't care.
"Hey Pete." He greeted his friend and took a seat on the wall next to him as they waited for the bell.
"Clark." Pete said simply, but he was grinning like a loon.
"I take it from your smile you made the starting line-up?" Clark asked.
Pete wasn't sure what he was on about. "Huh?"
"Yesterday, Coach called you to his office, did he say if you made the first string team?"
"Oh… oh yeah!" Pete said as his smile got wider. "I forgot about that, yeah I made it."
"How could you forget about it? You've been aiming for it since you joined the team."
"I guess I was so happy I forgot why I was happy." Pete lied lamely.
"That makes no sense."
Pete was saved by an angry Chloe storming across the courtyard.
"YOU! Cuckoo!"
The newly arrived triplets turned.
Chloe stormed up to them and faltered. They all looked alike and she had no idea which one was Celeste.
"Celeste Cuckoo?" She asked.
Celeste stepped forward. "Is there a problem Chloe?"
"Did you ask my dad about my mom?" The anger was back.
"No, it seemed fairly obvious from your house that your mother was a taboo subject. There were no photos and he never mentioned her. It seemed cruel to bring it up, I can't imagine anyone would be so insensitive." She said with disgust at the thought.
"Oh… well… good." Chloe tried to regain her momentum but she couldn't manage it. She had just laid into the girl after all.
"If there is nothing else, we have to get to our lockers." Celeste said, she didn't wait for a response as she and her sisters walked past Chloe sending Clark a sly wink on the way.
"Your welcome handsome."
Clark jumped a little, he still wasn't used to hearing voices in his head. He wasn't sure what he was welcome for either.
"Chloe, what was that about?" Pete asked.
"Nothing… it was nothing." Chloe said firmly. She was not going to talk about her mother.
That afternoon Clark and Lana met Lex at the Talon to go over more designs with the contractor. Clark was there to support his friends. What they found was an unconscious contractor and a gift-wrapped severed hand.
Lex immediately called Harry.
Then he called the Sheriff.
"Ok, I have good news and bad news." Harry announced after he performed his examination. "The bad news is that the owner of the hand is dead. The good news is that this was cut off after he died."
"How is that a good thing?" Lana demanded.
"Trust me… it's a good thing." Harry said with a slight shudder as memories of his graveyard torture came back.
"Harry?" Clark asked with concern.
"I'm fine Clark. I'm fine." Harry assured him.
"Harry!"
They all turned to see Laura, Dani and Amara rush in.
"This is a crime scene ladies." The Sheriff warned.
"I'm ok girls, I'll be out in a minute." Harry told them. "Sheriff, you are looking for a corpse with a missing hand."
Outside Harry was enveloped in a hug by the three women. They garnered many jealous and envious looks from passers by.
"What happened, you haven't given off a shock wave like that in centuries." Dani asked.
"Someone had their hand cut off, it was done post-mortem but Lana asked why it was a good thing, I had a slight flashback to when Crouch cut off my hand when I was fourteen."
"Let's go home and spend the evening relaxing then." Amara said soothingly.
When Lex and Clark called at the castle later Jean explained the situation with Harry, it was a distressing thought to think of a young boy going through that. They were assured that Harry and his soul mates were comforting each other.
"When you say comforting you mean…"
"Yes Lex, lot's of passionate love making."
"Even the Cuckoos?" Lex asked worriedly.
"They may look fifteen but they really aren't." Scott assured them.
"Wait, does this mean they don't want to be my girlfriends anymore?" Clark asked. He was hopeful but also a little hurt.
"You wish." Scott snorted.
The following afternoon brought tragic news to the Kent Farm as the wards tripped on the herd and Jonathan, Martha, Amara and Dani came running out only to find every single cow was dead.
The Centre for Environmental Protection was quickly called out to remove the barrels of LuthorCorp toxic waste that had been dumped on the land.
"This is wrong." Dani frowned.
"No, this is just what I expected." The anger and despair was clear in Jonathan's voice. "You told me to trust him and-"
"Jonathan, use your brain." Dani snapped. "That toxic waste stinks and it wasn't here this morning. The cows would never have gone near it and there wasn't enough time to for it to saturate the soil, somebody purposely poisoned the herd and is framing Lex or LuthorCorp. I never expected something as malicious and sneaky as this so I didn't put wards on the feed." She added forlornly
"So we suffer because Lex and his father have enemies?" Jonathan demanded.
"Yes, you do. But that doesn't mean I won't pay for this and try to make it right." Lex said. What he saw upset him. Aside from the fact that this one event had completely undermined the work he had done to be a friend to the Kents, Lex knew what animals meant to a real farmer like Jonathan. When the animal was in pain and suffering the farmer would empathise and worry. When they successfully birthed a youngling, they would celebrate.
This was a true attack on a family.
The bastard who did it probably didn't even know exactly what they had done.
"You really think money will make this better?" Jonathan spat.
"No, I know it won't. But it is the very least I can do to make up for my part in this."
They were interrupted by the Sheriff telling Lex that a CEP agent needed to speak with him.
"Go back to the house, Jonathan. We can handle this." Dani instructed as she indicated for Martha to take him.
The CEP agent that wanted to speak to Lex turned out to be a doppelganger of a man named Jude Royce who had been in town making efforts to terrorise Lex. He had quickly stunned Lex with a tazer before throwing him in the back of his van and driving off with him.
When Lex awoke he found himself trussed up and hanging from the rafters of Club Zero, the place where the real Jude Royce died many years ago.
This was it for Lex, he was about to die. He idly wondered if his soul would stick around long enough for Harry to put him back. He didn't have much hope, but he held onto it as tightly as he could. Jude Royce, or the imposter at least, had been shot by another man who now had another gun pointed at him. Everybody seemed to want Lex dead.
*Thud*
The man fell to the floor unconscious.
"Lex, are you ok?"
"Clark? How did you get here? Did Harry find me?" Everything was a little disorientating being hung upside down.
"Harry? No, Chloe found some information about Jude Royce, he had a home under a false name. The cops found your friends body there and I figured that it would all lead back here, Club Zero." Clark explained as he lifted Lex down and ripped his bonds.
"Not that I'm not grateful but you do realise that Harry is going to lay into you about not taking backup?" Lex asked as he tried to rub feeling back into his legs.
"I didn't think there was time."
"I suppose there wasn't, but I thought Harry could have teleported straight to me."
The embarrassed look on Clark's face told Lex all he needed to know. "Harry doesn't even know I was kidnapped, does he?" Lex laughed.
"I guess I forgot in all the excitement."
"Try and find a phone Clark, get Harry here."
So it turned out that Roy Rothman, the brother of Amanda Rothman, blamed Lex for her death. Lex had taken Amanda Rothman to Club Zero under the pretext of a night out, but the truth was he wanted to reveal her fiancé's philandering ways. In the scuffle that followed the confrontation Jude was shot dead. She committed suicide after the events of Club Zero and Roy believed there was a cover up and wanted the truth.
It was his sister who shot and killed Jude Royce whilst defending Lex, but Roy was not exactly in a mind to listen. He was quickly carted away and charged with murder and kidnapping.
Clark found himself the unfortunate ball in a game of Human Ping-Pong as punishment for not using his head and calling Harry or any of the Castle residents. Brunhilde got in on the action making it a three way game, which was worse for Clark as she possessed the strength to hit him to Harry and Scott where as those two used banishing curses.
The following days at school were a nightmare as the Cuckoos upped their displays of affection as part of their punishment for him.
Emma joined in by forcing him to dance with her whilst she wore nothing but her bikini briefs and top. Clark couldn't figure out why his mother wasn't stopping this. She just sat there with a smirk.
Lex tried to hide his smirk as he entered the castle and Emma walked by in her usual regal manner, she was dressed in her costume and nothing else. Behind her Clark trailed along unhappily as they went for another session of dancing.
"Stop laughing!" Clark hissed.
Lex started to giggle.
"I should have left you to die!" Clark called back.
Lex couldn't help the laughter, he kept chuckling to himself as he made his way to where the rest of the residents spent their evenings in would have been the common room of the Gryffindor dormitories back in Harry's home world.
"Mrs. Kent, why do you let Emma torture Clark like that?" Lex asked as he sat down in an empty armchair.
"Do you really imagine Clark's hands will 'accidentally slip' when he is dancing with Emma?"
"Not unless he really wants to spend his evenings walking through town in a dress." Lex scoffed.
"Exactly. I believe it is safe to say that Emma is instilling in my son a healthy respect for the female form."
"That's not respect! That's fear!" Lex laughed.
"To-ma-to, to-mah-to." Martha sang.
"So you are letting her train him when it comes to women?"
"Absolutely."
"I had such high hopes of taking him out for nights on the town, Mrs. Kent. You've absolutely ruined that." Lex mock pouted.
Martha had a decidedly smug look on her face.
