Rey couldn't help but wonder if she was still dreaming. But if this was a dream, it was one she didn't want to wake from.

She had been having the nightmare. It had changed again. Instead of Ren using the Force to torture her, she was forced to watch as Poe was tortured. As he was beaten and drugged and questioned. As he remained defiant. And then Ren started to drill into his head with the Force. Rey could feel it. She could feel his agony. She screamed for Ren to stop. So, he did. He turned back to her, and once again, she faced the realization that he intended to rape her.

She jerked awake only to find her husband sitting across from her, his eyes intent and angry as they watched her. "Poe?" It couldn't be him. She couldn't 'feel' him. She searched for him, finally finding his essence in the Force, only it was different. Darker. She didn't care. It was him. She launched herself out of the bed and onto his lap, tears of joy flowing freely. She felt his arms wrap around her, and his body relaxed. "Oh, Kriff," she swore. "You're really here."

"I'm really here."

For a long time, they just sat holding each other, Poe stroking her back softly. She breathed in his familiar scent, feeling her whole body relax in a way it hadn't in months. She never wanted to move. But Skyler had other ideas. She heard her baby give a weak, half-awake cry from his bed. She pulled back a bit and looked at her husband, who was looking over her shoulder at the crib. Then Shaina walked in the open door to the bedroom, rubbing her eyes. "Mama?" she said softly. Rey smiled at her, then at Poe. Poe was now staring at his daughter, his eyes suspiciously bright. Shaina suddenly realized he was there. A grin lit up her little face. "Papa?"

"Hey, Sweetpea," Poe said softly.

Shaina ran to him and tried to join her mother on his lap. Rey laughed and stood. "I need to feed the baby, anyway," she said with a smile as Shaina took her place. Poe hugged his daughter as Rey moved over to Skyler, who was getting louder by the second. "All right, little man," she said as she picked him up. "I'm here."

She sat on the bed facing Poe and Shaina and moved the wide neck of her night shirt down her shoulder to bare her breast. Skyler latched on almost immediately. She glanced up at her husband, only to find him staring at her breast with a hunger of a different kind in his gaze. She shivered. Poe had often teased her sexually when she had been breast feeding Shaina, but he had done it partly to help make her more comfortable in her role as a new mother. The look he was giving her now was not a teasing one. She took a deep breath. It only made sense, she thought. It had been literally months since either of them had had sex. "Don't get your hopes up, flyboy," she said softly. "I'm still not quite healed. Give me a week or two." She regretted her last statement as his eyes flashed to hers. He would be back on the battlefield in a week or two.

She stared at him a moment, wondering why she couldn't feel him without working at it. Was he intentionally blocking her? "Shaina," she told her little girl, who was contentedly leaning against her father's chest. "Why don't you take your father into your room and have him help you get dressed? Your grandfather should be here soon." Kes always arrived right after sunrise, which judging from the light coming in the window was now.

Shaina nodded exuberantly, sliding off her father's lap and grasping his hand, pulling him toward the door. He followed without hesitation, but he looked back at Rey, his eyes dark. Angry. Why was he angry? It must be her imagination. Rey continued nursing Skyler as she listened to her daughter's indecipherable chatter coming from next door. Occasionally, she could hear Poe respond, but he was having a hard time getting a word in edgewise. She got up to close the door when Skyler was finished, then she changed him and let him lay briefly so she could pull on some leggings and a tunic. She brushed her hair but left it down, and she didn't bother with her boots; more often than not she went around barefoot when she didn't have work to do.

"Rey, who belongs to that X-Wing in the landing field?" Kes Dameron's voice called from the front entrance to the house. Rey didn't need to answer, as she could tell Poe had exited Shaina's room. "Poe!" Rey smiled as she heard the sounds of father and son hugging, and Shaina giggling along with them. As most Force sensitive children did, she fed off of the emotions of those around her. As she heard the Dameron men talk and laugh together, Rey relaxed a bit. She picked up the baby and exited the room.

Poe was sitting at the table, Shaina once more in his lap, while Kes was already at work at the stove, preparing to fix breakfast. Poe's eyes immediately moved to watch her, and she walked over to him. He extended his free arm and Rey carefully helped him settle the baby in the crook of his arm and up against his chest. Skyler just stared up at his father. Poe just stared back. Shaina looked at them both, her head resting on Poe's opposite shoulder. Rey felt tears in her eyes again, and she wiped them away quickly as she glanced at Kes. He was smiling at her.

The rest of the day went by far too quickly. Kes, as usual, made a wonderful breakfast (Rey was convinced he was the reason she wasn't losing her baby weight as quickly as she would have liked). They talked about mundane things, never straying to the subject of war. Around mid-morning, Finn and Rose showed up. They had learned of Poe's arrival earlier, of course, but had waited to let the Dameron family have their time together first. Poe's response had been exactly what Rey was thinking. "You guys are a part of this family, too. You didn't need to wait!"

They all settled outside for lunch, and several people from the base stopped by to say hello to Poe and congratulate him on his victories so far in the war. His response was always the same. "It's not won, yet." He rarely let go of either of his children, even taking the time to change Skyler when he needed it. He let go of the baby only when Rey needed to feed him, and then he stayed close to Rey's side. She couldn't say she was sorry about that, as she rested her head on his shoulder at one point, exhausted but happy.

By late afternoon, talk had finally settled on the war.

"Do you still feel the Traagmol are getting information they shouldn't be?" Finn asked Poe.

"A spy?" Rose gasped.

Poe nodded. "I'm sure of it."

"Someone on the Organa?" Rey asked.

Poe shrugged. "It has to be," he told her. "I don't transmit my battle plans to anyone. They're all given verbally before I send everyone out. I trust everyone there that is from this base," he said firmly. "But there are plenty of New Republic personnel on board right now, even some civilians."

Rey suddenly realized why she had been feeling something was missing. "Where's BB-8?"

Poe looked crestfallen as he shrugged. "I don't know what happened to him. He died on me almost two months ago. I've been told his memory chip is done for, but I just can't believe it. I've got him in storage in the droid lab, hoping to find someone who can fix him." He shook his head. "I can't even begin to explain how lost I am without him following me around."

Rey knew he didn't need to explain anything. That droid meant so much to him. To them all. "Have someone bring him here," she said. "I'll look at him. I'm not an expert, obviously, but maybe I can do something, if only keep him safe until we can get a droidsmith in."

Poe looked at her, and once more she saw a flash of anger in his eyes. She wasn't imagining it, she thought. But he nodded. "I'll see if I can do that." He sat up a bit straighter, shifting the sleeping baby to his lap; Shaina was sitting next to him, leaning on him. She reached over to pet her brother's head. "But I don't know when that might be. Things are going to be heating up even more if I have anything to say about it."

"What do you mean?" Finn asked.

"I want this war over with," Poe said firmly. "I'm starting to send out small parties of fighters to do hit-and-runs on known Traagmol bases in the Mid Rim."

"What are small hit-and-runs going to do?" Kes asked.

"Piss them off," Finn responded with a wry smile.

"Yep," Poe nodded. "I want them to come at us. All of 'em."

Rey stared at him. "You're that sure they don't know how large your fleet really is?"

"Positive," Poe told her. "My fleet doesn't even know how big it is," he said with a sly grin. "I've made sure of that. Only a handful of my bridge crew knows where they are all at, and most of them don't know about each other."

"Exegol," Rey whispered. "You've drafted craft and fighters that came to Exegol."

He shook his head. "Didn't have to draft," he corrected. "They volunteered."

Dinner was a somber affair, as everyone knew Poe would be leaving right afterward. He hugged and kissed a very sleepy Shaina, then let Kes carry her in the house as he brought in the baby. He helped put both of them to bed, then hugged his father for a long time. Kes nodded to Rey, letting her know he would stay with the children so Rey could see him off, and Poe exited the house to say farewell to Rose and Finn. "I still wish I had you at my right hand," he told Finn as they hugged.

"I think you're doing just fine on your own," Finn grinned.

Poe glanced at Rey and started walking into the dark toward the landing field. Rey followed quietly.

They were almost to the X-Wing when Rey could keep silent no longer. "I could come to BB-8," she said softly.

"No!" Poe said firmly. "I don't want you anywhere near the Front!"

"I wouldn't be there long," she argued.

Poe shook his head angrily. "You stay here with the kids. I don't want you there."

"You don't really have a say, do you?" she picked. More than once she had reminded him that she wasn't a part of the Resistance. Not really.

"Are you saying you would disobey me?" Poe demanded.

"Disobey you?" Rey exclaimed. "When have I ever obeyed you?"

They were almost to the X-Wing. Hedges and March, the two on duty at the field, were watching them warily.

Poe snorted. "Good point. You've never obeyed me. You've always been the lone Jedi, a law unto herself."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you've never taken anything I say or do seriously, unless it was already something you wanted me to do." They had reached the ship and he turned on her, the anger in his eyes unhidden.

"That's not true!" she argued back. "I've always let you do your thing, supporting you through all of it."

"My thing? How do I even know if it was 'my' thing?" He stepped in close to her. "You were always in my head. How do I even know my thoughts were really mine?"

Rey was appalled. "You really think that I..?" Was he really accusing her of controlling him? Using the Force to make him do what she wanted? "Poe, I would never do that to you! Or anybody."

"I've seen you do it before," he growled.

"On stormtroopers!" Rey asserted. "Poe, your mind is far too complex for me to even think about manipulating. And trust me, I've never thought about it!"

"Trust you?" He stepped back. "Well, that about sums this up, doesn't it?" He moved back more and grabbed the service ladder. "It all comes down to trust." He paused. "Take care of my kids, Rey." He turned and climbed up into the cockpit.

Rey felt her heart break. She had heard that expression her whole life, but had never thought she'd experience it. She had come close, that day on the Supremacy, when Ben had tried to talk her into joining him and the First Order. But even that had felt nothing like this. This was worse than betrayal. This was absolute heartbreak.

"Poe?" she whispered as she watched him settle into the cockpit and put his helmet on. She felt Hedges slide past her to grab the ladder, trying her best to be unobtrusive. Then she and March left the vicinity as quickly as they could. Rey didn't blame them. She stared up at the cockpit, watching as the canopy lowered while Poe put on his gloves. He glanced at her. Or glared at her, more like it. So, she did the only thing she could do. "I love you," she cried over the engine noise.

He stared at her for a long time, but then turned his attention back to the controls, and the X-Wing began to lift off. Rey moved back to a safe distance, but her eyes never left her husband. What was happening? How was this happening? She felt her chest squeeze and her throat became tight. A sob threatened, but she pushed it down. She stared up, watching the night sky long after the X-Wing disappeared from view.

It was a very long time before she finally headed home.

XXXXXX