April 29 ?

It's been about a week since I found out my father used to be a homicidal, power-mad robot who tried to kill my mom, and I'd say I'm adjusting pretty well. Come to think of it, this actually explains a lot of my parent's behavior…

"This place is huge! I bet we're only seeing the top layer! No? Just the one floor? OK. "

Sophie fought to keep from smiling. Their family had been invited to New Detroit to speak on the "Pluot radio scandal," and it was Wheatley's first time in a real supermarket. Sophie couldn't blame him, she had acted the same way during their tour of Kleiner Medical School.

"Hey, check this out!"

Wheatley's loud voice jolted Sophie out of her daydreams. So far, he had teased Chell as they passed the fruit aisle, snickered at the sack of potatoes, and stared incredulously at a star chart ("In what universe does that look like a bear? "), so Sophie could only guess what he had found now.

"We are not buying that. " Chell said, exasperated. Sophie followed her gaze to find (what else?) a Black Forest cake.

"Come on! " Wheatley begged. "It's part of your happy ending! And we are on vacation."

"No way. " Chell walked away from the display, Wheatley still arguing behind her.

"I'll pay for it."

"No. "

"We'll make it a date. "

"No. "

"I'm just gonna keep bugging you."

"No. "

"Please place your item in the bagging area. "

Five minutes of arguing and one cake purchase later, Wheatley was experiencing another one of the joys of supermarket shopping: the automatic checkout.

"I already did! " Wheatley said as the voice spoke again. "I didn't think anyone could be more annoying than Kevin, but I was so wrong!"

"Please place your item in the-" Bang! Wheatley slammed the loaf of bread onto the counter, and the machine finally stopped repeating itself. "Thank you for shopping at FreeMart. Would you be interested in a coupon for Bob's Bagels? "

"Finally you-Bagels..? Wheatley trailed off mid sentence, and tears welled up in his eyes. Soon Chell was dragging him out the door as he sobbed uncontrollably. "Bagels, bagels! "

"Yep," Sophie thought as they left, "my parents are insane."