When Rei entered her marriage, she never expected to find love. She had hoped that real feelings would bloom from the transaction, but money rarely creates anything genuine. In the beginning, Enji treated her kindly enough, if somewhat distantly, more of a prized object than a partner. However, Touya's birth changed everything.
Touya came into the world silently, nearly a month early, small and fragile. The Doctors feared for his survival, and once the shock of being a father wore off, Enji had made his disappointment known. But to Rei, Touya was perfection, tiny tuffs of red and her nose. She could see her mother in the bow of Touya's lips and Enji in the turquoise blue of Touya's eyes. Sweaty and exhausted, she held his tiny body to her chest, holding her baby for the first time Rei felt as if she captured all the stars in the sky and formed them into her son.
Slowly but surely, Touya grew healthy enough to go home with them. With Touya, Rei had been terrified of becoming a mother. Scared that her naturally cool temperature would bring discomfort to her baby. But during the day, Touya was all gummy smiles, clinging and desperate to be near her at all times. As long as Touya was safe in her arms, he seldom found a reason to shed tears. However, the nights were a different story. Making his presence known for all the world to hear, Touya cried throughout the night. Not wanting to risk keeping Enji awake, when Touya refused to settle, Rei took him out back to a garden she secretly planted with Rindou flowers. Touya's cries quieted as she twirled underneath the light of the moon. Wide blue eyes watched her with wonder as she spilled her heart's love into soft hums. As Touya grew, the garden became a place for the two of them to escape the day's trials, and Touya would take her hands to lead her into a dance filled with smiles.
There was no question that Rei loved all her children, and the amazing people they have become. But out of all her children, Touya was the only one Rei felt was truly hers. She missed Fuyumi's first steps for a doctor's appointment, never got to hear Natsuo's first words because Enji wanted to show her off at a hero party. And Shouto, she hardly knew him having spent most of his life locked in the hospital. But Touya, all of his firsts were shared between the two of them, Rei knew Touya, every like and dislike, all his dreams and nightmares.
Touya had entirely been her son.
And out of all of the Todoroki family, Rei had been the first to recognize Touya in Dabi.
Black dye might have overshadowed the white, and the deep scars snatched the eye's focus, but what mother wouldn't recognize her son. No matter the changes, Rei saw Touya in the shape of his hands, the pain screaming in blue eyes, heard her own words in his desperate cries to be heard.
Seeing him there on the TV stirred life in her. Gave her the strength to face Enji and to return to that house where nightmares hid in the dark shadows of Endeavour's ambitions.
Both Fuyumi and Natsuo had been shocked at her request to go back to the Todoroki estate, drawing attention from a passing nurse. Rei acknowledged that request seemed to defeat the purpose of going through all the effort to prepare a house free from memories, and the car ride back to the estate held an uneasy silence. None of them knew of any words that could ease the pain from Touya's reveal. And Rei could tell that neither Natsuo nor Fuyumi wanted to speak and risk ruining her newfound confidence.
"I'm going for a walk."
Fuyumi turned to her, grey eyes rimmed in red from crying, "I don't think that's a good idea right now, Mom."
"Please, I just need some time to myself right now" Rei placed a kiss on her daughter's forehead. "I promise I will be alright."
Fuyumi hesitated, but Natsuo placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Of course, Mom, just yell if you need us."
Leaving her two children, Rei made her way to the garden. Walking down the path, she moved the thick brush that hid the garden away from the world. In her and Touya's absence, the Rindou grew wild. Deeper in a hunched figure sat on the small bench they together built as a weekend project. A small shuddering sigh announced that the person knew of her presence.
Quietly without words or faltering, Rei sat next to him.
"Hey Mom."
"Hello Touya."
Rei felt tears forming on the edges of her eyes, but she feared if she started to cry, Touya would flee, and she would lose her chance of speaking with him ever again. Now was not the time for her to be weak. For once in her life, she needed to be strong for her eldest child. With their family on the cusp of shattering into a million unrepairable pieces, Rei felt a determination she hadn't since they buried Touya's empty coffin.
"My Little Star, I've missed you."
Touya made the same raw, guttural sound of a child lost in darkness. The pure agony in the noise threatened to break Rei's soul. How much had Touya suffered since they last saw each other?
A rustle in the bushes broke the trance. "Who's there?" Rei called into the shadows and, for a moment, feared that either Natsuo or Fuyumi had followed her out.
To her surprise, Touya gave an airy huff of amusement "apparently, I'm not allowed to be unsupervised." Despite the annoyance in his tone, the look in his eyes spoke of a fondness Touya tried to keep hidden.
"Can you blame us? Every time you manage to do something stupid."
From her hurried research, she made on their way to the hospital, Rei recognized Spinner from the articles she read about the League of Villians. Spinner's eyes glanced between the two of them, clearly conflicted, ready to defend Touya but also hesitant of getting involved.
Rei placed a hand to her mouth as she tried to keep a laugh from escaping her lips "I'm glad you've made such thoughtful friends, Touya." Rei beckoned Spinner to come closer and reached to grab a scaly hand that was nearly double her own. "Thank you for taking such good care of my son." She tried to pour every ounce of sincerity she felt into her words. At least Touya had friends that stood by him when his family had so devastatingly failed him.
Spinner blushed, placing the hand not held by her behind his neck, "ya no problem," he turned to Touya. "I'll give you two some time, but Dabi, we've got to go soon."
Touya waved a hand lazily. "Ya ya."
The silence continued until Spinner disappeared back into the bushes, and Rei truly looked at her son. He had grown; standing up, Touya would likely be the same height as Shouto. As a child, Rei knew that her son would share his mother's small stature, slender and lightweight, Touya never hoped to match Natsuo in height or muscle. Free from the black dye, Touya looked like a carbon of Rei. How did she not realize before?
"Touya, I'm —"
"Stop," Touya interrupted her, "it's not your fault."
Touya curled in on himself, hiding his face in his hands. Ten years ago, Rei would have listened. But in the past, Rei hadn't learnt the lesson she had after she lost her son: words needed to be spoken before its too late.
"Touya, please let me speak," desperately, he needed to hear her words " I never got the chance before. I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you. I should have taken you away from that house. Especially after I found out, I was pregnant with Shouto, and the training got worse."
Her greatest regret, spoken out loud, hung in the air between them. Touya's eyes refused to meet hers, locked on the Rindou flowers in front of them. During her meeting with Enji, Rei had learnt that Endeavour didn't start sending her flowers until recently. Nevertheless, blue flowers turned up without fail every Sunday for as long as Rei stayed in the hospital. At least now she knew who had really sent them.
Touya sighed, looking so incredibly young and somehow ancient all at once. "It doesn't matter."
"It does, Touya, it does. Because you matter." Rei turned to her son, her hands reaching to bring his face out from hiding.
Touya's eyes widened as her fingers rested against his scorching skin. "Stop, mom, you'll burn your hands."
Rei released her quirk, letting cold wash over them. "It won't. You are my son Touya. You could never hurt me." And with every fibre of her being Rei believed that.
Rei's thumb wiped away the blood that leaked from the scars underneath Touya's eyes. Her poor baby, she wanted nothing more than to create a wall of ice and keep Touya safe from anything that might cause him any more pain. But as Spinner returned, Rei knew that she would have to once again let her son go.
"I'm sorry, Dabi, but we really have to go." Spinner gave Rei an apologetic glance as he helped to lift Touya.
Touya gave a painful gasp at the movement, and as his shirt lifted, Rei caught sight of angry new burns stapled harshly against the little healthy skin that her son had left. His suffering tore at her heart, making a hole in her chest.
"You should be more careful about what you say in public. You never know who might be listening," Touya warned, blue eyes finally meeting hers "the next person may not be so friendly."
Touya must have given Spinner a signal to start moving, and as they turned, Rei got the sinking impression that this would be the last time she would see Touya. Desperately her voice rose in panic at the realization that this would be goodbye.
"Touya, I look forward to the day where I welcome you home." Tears finally allowed to emerge, droplets falling freely, "and we can dance under the stars again."
The look Touya gave her reminded Rei of the days were Touya pretended to be ok.
"That sounds nice, mom."
Touya left in the light of the rising sun, and in the garden on Rindou flowers, Rei mourned the loss of the stars.
