Pawnshops and Carousels
AvalonReeseFanFics
A/N: Happy Sunday my wonderful readers! Here we have a new chapter, and we get to find out what's happening with both Sebastian and Sabrina. I'm really excited for the upcoming chapters because they're going to wrap everything up. Only three more chapters until we're done guys! As always don't forget to leave a review and I'll see you guys next week!
Chapter 37
Les: Seth has been amazing. In the last twenty-four hours he has lived at the hospital. He's bouncing back from the room they have Sabrina in, to the NICU where they've got Sebastian. He's getting all the updates he can and then he goes back to Sabrina to see if she's okay. Lili and I have taken Sierra until Seth and Sabrina figure out what's going on with Sebastian, and Ashley has stayed at the hospital with Seth. It was really great to see Ashley coming through for Seth seeing how much they argue at the shop. If only it hadn't happened because she wanted to be supportive and not because she was feeling guilty.
Despite being through something traumatic Sabrina wakes up in the morning. She must still be on adrenaline because her heart monitor beats wildly out of control and her eyes are wide and looking for not just for me but for Sebastian too.
"Where… where…" she keeps saying as I stand up to go to her.
"He's not here…"
Fear lights up in her eyes, fear and dread. "Is he alive?"
"He is," I say immediately and her heart monitor goes back to normal just as the nurse comes in. I move away just because the nurses want to check her over but once they give her a look over and she's okay I'm back by her side.
They leave us and she turns to me, a weepy sort of look on her face and I know that at some point I'm going to have to break her heart and I'm not looking forward to it.
"He's alive," I repeat and she smiles, though a worried tear escapes her eyes. "He's uhm… he's in the NICU, they've uh… they've been giving me updates…"
"The what?"
"Neonatal intensive care unit," I explain and that worry graces her face again. "Okay, calm down, I'm going to tell you what they've told me, and then… you know while you're resting, I'll bring more info until you're good to go see him, okay?"
She nodded and I sit back down and reach out for her hand. "So… he uh… he's too small to keep himself warm so they've got him in this incubator thing to moderate his temperature. He's uh… he's got mild respitory issues, they gave me a technical name, but uh… his lungs are under developed so he's on a ventilator, but they don't think he'll stay on it for long. Uhm… he's got an IV cause they can't breast or bottle feed yet. They think… they think that this will last for maybe a week to two weeks. Then we'll be able to take him home."
Sabrina took that all in. "So it's not… it not…"
"It's actually not that bad. He just needs to put on some weight, once he can keep himself warm we can take him home."
She nods, leaning back into her pillows with a sigh.
"There is something else though," I whisper. I don't really want to do this, but it might be better to get it out of her now, before bringing her to see our son.
"There is?"
"Yeah, not about Sebastian," I tell her quickly ad her eyebrows furrow in confusion. "It's uhm… it's about you. Something about you."
She blinks her eyes again, that confusion growing on her.
"So. Uhm… you had something called Placenta Previa, which is uhm… the placenta attached to the bottom of your uterus and while you were pushing it ruptured… uhm.. cause it was blocking Sebastian's exit."
"Oh… so that would have been the pain…"
"Yes uhm… anyway… so uhm… because you ruptured it you were essentially internally bleeding. So they got Sebastian out via a c-section…"
"Are you afraid that I'm going to be upset about a scar? Cause that's stupid."
I scowl at her. "Obviously. I'm not that stupid. I know you Reenie, I know you don't care about those sorts of things, and I hope you know that I don't care either."
She half smiles and I add: "That's not what I was trying to tell you, Reenie."
The smile drains out of her face and I reach out again and hold her hand tightly. "They… they had to give you a hysterectomy."
And there was that shock I was waiting for. Her mouth just dropped as the realization of what this meant dawned on her.
"They didn't have a choice Reenie, you were going to die it was the only thing they could do to save you."
"We'll never… I'll never…"
"I know, I know, but it's okay, because we have two and that's okay baby, that's enough," I say.
"You've always wanted a big family," she says tears starting to stream from her eyes.
"No. No. I want you. I don't care about a big family, I care about you. I would pick you over more kids a million times over. You know that?"
She nods but the tears don't stop falling.
"You're allowed to be sad, Reenie, you're allowed to be upset, but please, please don't think that I'm going to hold this against you," I tell her and she nods again. "Do you want me to just… do you want me to leave you alone to cry or…?"
She shakes her head and then lifts her arms to me. She doesn't have to say it, she doesn't have to use the words, I climb into her bed and hold her to me. And I just let her cry.
I wouldn't say I got over it, but I definitely came to terms with what happened relatively quickly.
True to his word, Seth had stayed with me, let me cry it all out. I could tell that he was sad too, and disappointed. We had always talked about having a big family, but he also had a point, if I had to pick between a big family or having him, I'd pick our two children and him over a big family any day.
I think what also helped me come to terms quicker was that I had a son that was sick. He took priority to me and as soon as I was done crying, I sent Seth to get me more information on my son's condition.
Seth did one better and came back with the doctor. The Doctor talked me through it and it was exactly what Seth said. Nothing had changed except that Sebastian was getting stronger and healthier by the hour. They honestly expected nothing to go wrong with him at all.
Except I was still worried and would continue to be until I could take hold him in my arms.
So I asked when I could go to see him. Sebastian's doctor didn't have an answer, so he went to get mine. I told Seth that I wanted him to spend his time with Sebastian, so he'd have one of his parents there but Seth wouldn't leave.
He wanted to hear what the doctor had to say about me and how I was faring. Which was fair, because I would have totally lied to Seth about how I was doing so he would take me to see Sebastian earlier then recommended.
I got in luck, though it didn't feel like it at the time. They wanted me in bed for a few more days, one at the very least. If I was doing better in the morning, they would think about letting me go down to the NICU to see my son.
It wasn't what I wanted to hear but it could have been so much worse.
I immediately sent Seth back to Sebastian and he went without a second thought. And he spent the rest of the day going back and forth between the two of us, regardless of me telling him to just stay with Sebastian.
By the time visiting hours were over, Les and Lily had come in to see me, and so had Karen. Karen hugged me right away, breaking out into tears and telling me how sorry she was that she caused this. I told her that was silly, of course it wasn't her fault. My placenta was in the wrong place, it was going to cause problems no matter what.
Though it took some convincing, eventually she agreed with me and was back to her happy perky self.
I did not, however, see Ashley, and I had a feeling that that was because she too was feeling guilty.
And the end of visiting hours, Seth came into my room telling me he had to leave. I already knew this, of course, so I wasn't surprised but he seemed to feel like he shouldn't have been leaving her or Sebastian even if the hospital was saying he had to.
I told him I'd see him in the morning and sure enough when I woke up, not only was Seth there but so was my doctor.
"We're checking you out," he had said to me. "To see if you're good to go."
God my husband knew me well.
My doctor gives me a good look over and then gives me the good news. I am finally good to move. I'm not good enough to go home, but he says I'm good enough to go see my son, and that's all I need right now.
Already the nurses are wheeling in a wheelchair, and Seth is moving to help me up and into it. They have a house coat I'm pretty sure Seth bought me just for this moment to put me in. It's a pink fuzzy house coat that probably looks terrible on me but I don't care.
Once in the wheelchair Seth is wheeling me down the hallway to the elevator which will take us to the floor my son is on.
When we get there the nurses all know Seth. They all wave and smile and ask how he's doing and he nods and smiles back telling them he's fine. They all seem excited to see me and gush about how excited they are to see that I've gotten well so quickly.
And then we're at his room.
I'm just in the doorway but I can see him. My son, in an incubation container. There are all these wires and tubes hooked up to him and he's just lying on his back in nothing but his nappies. He's not moving, so I assume he's sleeping.
This particular container has gloves attached to it, which means I can reach on in and hold him with those gloves. I won't be able to pick him up, but I could put my hands on him, sort of feel him under my palms and that was what I wanted.
Seth wheels me closer and then carefully helps me stand. He stands right next to me, using his hip to hold me up as I just look at our son.
He stirs, his little hands balled up by his face begin to move, his eyes, still not open, were crinkling as if he were trying to open them.
"He knows you're here," Seth whispers and I almost burst into tears right there.
I put my hands into the gloves and reach out for my son, letting his little hand take a hold of my gloved finger I swear I see a smile light up on his little lips.
The tears are free falling now, because I'm happy. I'm happy our son is alive, I'm happy that he made it. I'm happy I have the husband that I have who hadn't left either of our sides.
I have everything I could ever need. Who cares if I can't have anymore kids? I already have two very beautiful children, one that was already very healthy and one that would be soon. I had a family that loved me, which included my cat who was probably freaking out about where I was AND my husband and I can have all the unprotected sex we could want and not worry about any more surprises.
What more could we need?
Seth: Sabrina was released before Sebastian was. It may sound crazy but I think Sebastian being born early saved Sabrina's life in more than one way. Not only did we find out about the placenta in time to save her from it, but him being born sick was what kept her from being depressed when she figured out she wouldn't be able to have more kids. In no way am I saying that I was happy for this, I'm just saying, I'm grateful that he was alive, that he helped my wife feel better.
All I want to do when we get home is hold my daughter in my arms and then go down for a nap.
Right away, the second we come home Escobar is on us. He wants to see into the baby carrier, he wants to rub against his mom's legs. He wants to see Sierra. And with him comes my mom and dad.
I'm really regretting giving these guys keys.
"We just wanted to make sure that you settled in okay," my mom says.
Sierra is already toddling towards my mother, calling for nana. She picks her up right away and then gestures to Sabrina to follow.
"Come on, let's get the kids down for a nap."
She nods and follows, with Escobar hot on her heels. I watch her go filled with longing, because what I want is to be doing that with her, so that when we're done, we can collapse to our bed, and hold her tight in my arms.
"We're going to be out of your hair very soon," my dad says. "Your mom made you some meals, they're in the fridge for you to heat up whenever. And there's a casserole in the oven, tuna, your favourite."
I nod. It is a relief that they've been helping us so much, between everything, without them, I wouldn't be standing. I could not have worried about my wife and my son while taking care of my daughter and our cat on my own, let alone think about things like laundry and groceries and feeding myself. I barely remembered to sleep.
"And uh… there's one last thing," he says going to his jacket and pulling out a sheaf of papers. They're tri folded and he hands them to me.
"Your mom and I… and Ashley and Karen actually, all pitched in for it," he says avoiding my eyes so I know right away that he thinks I'm going to be upset about whatever this is.
I'm left to wonder what the hell my dad bought me that has him worried I'm going to freak out.
I look at the papers, my eyes scanning them through and then they bug out. Because holy shit… No, he didn't.
Sabrina is back in the living room. She takes in my look of utter shock and comes to stand beside me.
"What is it?" Sabrina asks. She's angling to read the same papers I've been looking over.
She must have gotten the kids to bed quicker than I expected. I had told her, before we came up here, that once we had gotten the kids to go to bed, that she was to go to bed too. The doctor still wanted her on bed rest, she wasn't supposed to be straining herself. But it's just like her to not listen to me, to want to be with me over being in our bed alone, even if she was dead tired, even if she was supposed to be resting.
"He… he bought us a house."
"What?"
"A house, he bought us a house," I repeat and Sabrina snatches the paper out of my hands.
I turned wide eyes to my dad not even sure how I could even come close to showing or telling him grateful I am. Or how he so did not need to do this.
"I know you guys were thinking about getting a bigger place and with all of this… well… we thought we'd chip in and help out. We can go the bank when you're ready to put the mortgage in your name."
I have no words. I just look at my dad and I can tell by his smile that my speechless look is enough of an explanation. He knows. He knows how grateful I am.
I pull my dad in for a hug and he hugs me back without a second thought. We're only in that hug for a second before my dad reaches out and pulls Sabrina too us so she can get in the hug too.
I really would be nothing without my family.
