"Yeah... You don't look ok." Said Garnet, taking a step forward.

"No, no! I mean it," He grinned nervously, taking a step back. Garnet's mouth flattened, and his breathing began to pick up. "I- there's no problem-"

"Steven, just tell us- uh, wha-? What happened to the door?!"

Pearl's shocked remark brought their full attention to the damage done to the glass sliding door and to the thick cracks traveling through it. It stood out against Steven's otherwise very clean room, only less noticeable than Steven himself. He held up his hands and backed up another step, as if expecting them to attack.

"Nothing!" He cried. "There's nothing wrong!"

Their gazes softened, and he wanted to throw up.

"Steven, look." Amethyst said gently. "There's obviously something wrong. You can't hide it, so like, share up, buddy. What happened?"

"Nothing happened!" He cried, voice high and cracked. The sound of it rattled the furniture and knocked their family picture from his bedside table, but he hardly noticed. His ears started to ring, and he clenched his fists.

"...Steven." Said Garnet, studying him. "You're lying to yourself."

"No I'm NOT!" He cried. He slid the door open so hard it shattered, and everything slowed down. The horrible sound of glass bursting into fragments echoed in his head as he leapt from the balcony, running away from it all, from that terrible, awful noise-

The gems stared at the spot where he'd been standing, eventually turning their attention to the lonely flip-flop laying abandoned on the sand.


She had been moping surveying around the edges of her territory when she saw him. How could she not? He was her size again, glowing pink and rambling to himself. He was virtually a beacon in the shaded forest, the bright noon sun unable to compete with him so long as he stayed under the canopy.

Jasper wasn't a naive gem, but the sight gave her hope. He'd come back to the woods, was he looking for her? Perhaps he'd changed his mind since they last spoke…

He didn't notice her approach, and maybe that was her fault. She'd subconsciously fallen into stealth mode, quietly getting closer until she was only about a dozen yards away. She opened her mouth, but hesitated. He didn't really seem to be in a talking mood much; he'd grabbed the trunk of a tree and was just, grinding his head into the bark, muttering a mantra she couldn't really hear.

She cleared her throat, and he jumped so hard out of his skin that he tripped and fell over backwards.

"My apologies, My Diamond, I... didn't mean to… alarm you."

His glassy eyes flitted across her face, and she had to fight not to look away in shame when he glanced at her horns. His breathing was fast and uneven, and... he was shaking. It couldn't be that cold out, could it? Although... perhaps securing some kind of warmth would win him over...

She searched his face, hoping for any slice of evidence that he had accepted his status as a Diamond, that he had embraced his power. Instead, his pupils shrunk, and the shock on his face turned to anger.

"I didn't shatter you!" He screamed.

Shockwaves rolled through the ground, and Jasper stood up straighter, stunned for a moment. He looked absolutely insane, terrified, like an animal near death. He had hollered loud enough to crumble mountains, but refused to make any sort of eye contact, staring at the unsettled ground and pulling at his hair.

"...I didn't." He whimpered.

"You… didn't." She said slowly.

"I didn't?"

"Of course not, My Diamond." She said, shaking her head respectfully.

"But… the s-scar. On y-your f-f-"

She crossed her hands behind her back, straightening her posture, trying to advertise her loyalty.

"A battle scar." It wasn't technically a lie, she'd never lie to Her Diamond. She'd just... made the truth more appealing to him.

After staring at it for a while, he smiled shakily and stood, a little shorter and less pink than before. Neither spoke for a few beats, and the silence became awkward.

"Uh… it's cold out." Said Jasper. "...You want this?"

She held up her tarp, and although she mainly just used it for camouflage and sometimes as a stylish cape (like in this instance), he took it gratefully, wrapping it around his shoulders and pulling it tight.

"Thanks." He said quietly. And then, "Hey, Jasper?"

"Mm?"

"Thank you." He said, playing with the edge of the tarp and looking at her in appreciation. "For, um. Being here."

Jasper looked at him.

"...Don't mention it."

"Yeah, well..."

Steven's name was called in the distance, and he jumped. The shout was echoed by two more voices, and he edged closer to Jasper.

"Umm. Also. I, uh. I need you to help me hide. I need to be hid."

"They looking for you?" Jasper asked, raising a brow.

"...They don't… they don't agree with my world view." Steven said, chuckling in a totally-not-unstable way. "They're like, convinced I'm going through an emotional crisis right now."

"And, um. And you're not." She tried not to phrase it like a question.

"No, I'm fine."

"Uh. Oh." Said Jasper. "Ok... Good."


Steven opened the door to the Dondai and suppressed a groan when he saw Jasper mirror the action on the passenger side. The sun had set an hour ago, marking the end of what was possibly the longest day in his entire life. The one good thing about it was that it'd given him time to calm down, and he felt a little more like himself again. More importantly, he looked like himself again.

Unfortunately though, he now found himself at an impasse. A big, orange impasse with anger issues and an authority complex.

While he was thankful that she'd helped him stay hidden all day, it had been a long walk back (embarrassingly, he'd needed her assistance navigating through the dark woods), and being around her felt weird for a reason he couldn't name. His head felt like it was full of cotton, and his thoughts were slow moving and viscous, but every time he saw her… her... battle scars, they were battle scars he reminded himself, it dredged up a strange feeling, like his brain was trying to remember something.

It made him feel an even stronger need to leave, to get away from her, from everything, to run.

Although… he didn't really want to be alone right now.

But he certainly wasn't going to come crawling back to the gems, not with them trying to get him to admit to feeling… not fine.

He was fine. He was totally fine. They just couldn't see it.

That's why he had made the mature and rational decision to run away forever.

"Jasper, I. Thank you, really, for everything you've done, but you can go home now."

"But, My Di-

"Steven." He corrected. He knew he was being harsh, but they'd honestly talked about this several times throughout the day and he was getting sick of it.

"But I- I exist to serve you, My Steven."

"Yeah, and you have. But- Jasper, what did I tell you? Back at the warp?"

He said the words unthinkingly, and stopped. What… what had he said…? His memories of the past week were so fuzzy…

"...I admit, I was… confused by your last command, My D-Steven." Steven closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, resting a hand on his hip. He huffed dramatically, trying to hide the fact that he was relying on her to recall it for him.

"How so?"

"...I can find nothing better to do with my life than serve you."

He looked at her a moment, eyes wide with surprise, before shame took its place. Jasper shifted her weight, trying to keep the hopeful expression off her face. She was deeply worried he'd reject her again, but the shame he wore eventually dropped off into resignation.

"Alright. You can come, but we have to go now." He got into the Dondai, and Jasper hastily followed, finding the tiny car a tight fit but unable to keep a relieved grin off of her face. Curiosity tugged at her though, and she looked up at the beach house.

"Will they come after you?"

His hands stopped rigidly where they were, one on the wheel and the other holding the key.

"...Yes," He replied, unfreezing and turning the ignition.

"I'll beat them into the ground if you wish, My Steven." She said. She knew with almost complete certainty he'd turn it down, but she had to ask. Just in case.

"Just get in the car."

They drove until they passed city limits, and then a few hours after that. Jasper couldn't help but marvel at how ridiculously slow Earth transports were, but it didn't bother her. She felt more alive than she had in over five thousand years. He took her with him, and her alone. Not that demented, wild Pearl, not that disgusting fusion. Not even that defective, squashed Amethyst that he always seemed to be attached to. He took her.

She was so caught up in the feeling of renewed purpose, of victory, that she didn't even mind when he stopped the car by the side of the road to cry into the wheel for half an hour. Ok, maybe forty five minutes. But it was a blink compared to the rest of eternity, the rest of her new life.

She didn't really care how strange her first mission was, either. He'd stopped the car near a small, brightly lit shop in the third town they'd entered. He handed her some paper, told her to trade it for something in there, a bottle with a little insignia he'd drawn out for her. He said they wouldn't ask her for an ID, whatever that was. Apparently, he didn't have one either.

Despite her doubts, the human behind the counter accepted her trade readily, handed her a few pieces of paper back (apparently, she'd given him too much), and watched her leave. Her Diamond didn't seem that excited when she successfully completed her mission, but he did wear a look of exhausted, nervous gratitude that satisfied her deeply.

They stopped again, this time in a remote pullout in the woods, a couple hundred yards off the road. He mumbled something about camping for the night. It wasn't until he got out of the car, taking the bottle with him, that she realized the gravity of the situation.

He was no longer a Crystal Gem. She didn't know what he was now, she didn't even know what she was anymore. But there'd be time to find out. Whatever they were, they'd be it together. From now until the end of time.


You can also find me on Ao3 and tumblr. I'm gonna give you a couple urls, but this hellsite eats those up like candy, so i had to space them out into chunks:

fic address (ao3):

archiveofourown (dot org) /works/26508163/chapters/64605121

ao3 account:

archiveofourown (dot org) /users/DoctorLizard/pseuds/DoctorLizard

tumblr account:

doctor-lizard . tumblr (dot com)