Alcohol was an entirely new concept to Jasper.

She'd never seen a human get drunk, and she'd certainly never encountered such a notion on Homeworld. So, when Steven had (drunkenly) explained it to her, she had some difficulty in understanding it. Did the drink have healing properties? If not, why would they drink it if it tasted so bad? At least, Jasper assumed it tasted awful, judging by the faces Steven made while trying to down it. Curiously, it appeared no different from water, and Jasper wondered if maybe it was. Humans drank water all the time, they "needed" it, according to Steven.

But even she knew that water didn't produce… whatever this was.

For at least half an hour, Steven had paced along the clearing in front of her, ranting and storming on about how each and every one of the gems were to blame for his problems. Every once in a while, his anger would get the best of him, and Jasper could watch with exhilaration as he used his destructive abilities against nearby trees and boulders. His gait was a bit unsteady, but Jasper didn't notice. She was having too much fun goading him on.

"There is sero-… se-. Serisly not enough of this stuff to even… to even deal with this stuff." He slurred, bordering on incoherency. He took another sip. It sounded as if he kept forgetting what he was saying, sometimes several times a sentence, but she didn't mind. She just sat back and enjoyed the show, watching him work himself up over his repressed feelings and life-long resentment.

"But you were talking about the fuuu- Ehm, Garnet." She said. She felt some guilt at speaking to him in such a casual manner, but old habits die hard. He didn't seem to care, so she just assumed she'd already been given permission to speak freely. It wasn't an orthodox situation, and he wasn't an orthodox ruler. In all of her six-thousand years of existence, she'd never heard of a Diamond that didn't prefer the title 'My Diamond'. Given, she'd only met three others, but still. This was confusing. She didn't know what the rules were, if there even were any.

"I was- I was talking about herr. Yes I was." He glared at the air in front of his face. "She just. She was making us feel so- like she was so put together, y'know? Like she was. Some. Like an adult. ...I-I-I thought she, I thought she was my parents, Jasper, I did."

"Wh… what are parents, again?"

"Not Garnet, apparently."

"Ah." Jasper grinned. Truthfully, she didn't understand half of what he was saying, or why he was sharing so much with her, but she loved it all. The judgement, the anger, the spite. At last, he seemed sane, reasonable, like he finally understood the lawlessness and chaos of earth. A perma-fusion like Garnet could certainly never be parents! Whatever parents were.

"But she just. She 's kept telling me to grow up, and when I finally did, I realized how. Howww… " He made a frustrated chuff, digging his fingers in his hair, spilling alcohol on his jacket. "How self-absorbed she was! Always so proud, and, and certain of herself, and I- I trusted her! I thought she'd protect me from whatever was in the future, but she didn't… because, because..."

He stopped his pacing, staring at the ground, and- she saw his eyes get wet.

"I thought she loved me, but she only loves…"

Stifling a shiver of revulsion, Jasper tried to steer him back on track.

"And what about the Amethyst?"

The fire resumed in his eyes, and Jasper delighted in the hope that more things would be destroyed tonight.

"Amethyst! That's the- that one! Y'know, I noticed! I noticed what took them- took them thousands of years to notice! And- it was hard, y'know? 'Cause Pearl and Garnet didn't want me around, and she couldn't love anybody, 'cause she hated herself too much..." Jasper's brows raised. She had thought the Amethyst had been… well, unaware of her… shortcomings. It had disgusted Jasper, giving her the intense desire to remind her. She didn't feel guilty, not in the slightest, but. It was strange, hearing about the cracks in the Crystal Gems' armor from an inside source.

"But we made a pra- a promise, that we'd both be the worst together. But then she just decides to grow on up without me." He paused, thinking. "Hypo- hyponic- hype- hippothet-" he hit his forehead with the palm of his hand. "So to speak,"

Jasper chuckled. Growth in humans was such a strange concept to her, but it had been infinitely funny when he'd surpassed the Amethyst in height. The thought did bring up some memories of her and Steven's training session, and how she'd felt a strange mix of pride as well as unsettlement at being eye-level with the boy.

"And of course then she didn't need me to notice anymore, there wasn't anything to notice…" His voice tapered at the end, and he wobbled unsteadily on his feet for a moment before regaining his momentum. "And Pearl! Gh, she was always so, so… she was... "

The directionless rambling stopped for a moment, and Steven came to sit in the grass with a dramatic huff, taking another sip and crossing his arms petulantly.

"She was a lot like you, you know." He said, quieter.

Jasper felt her hackles rising. She'd never grow angry with Her Diamond, but if there was one thing she didn't appreciate, it was being compared to a Pearl.

"'Cept she knew. She knew all those years that I was a… a Diamond, and she. She hated me, I think. At least at first. 'Cause I was there and Rose wasn't."

Jasper swallowed.

"And she hadda have all this, all this control. 'Cuz she was. She was scared of me." His voice cracked at the end, and he looked up at Jasper with eyes full of tears.

Jasper felt the need to recoil, partly because emotions were disgusting, but also because Jasper had fought for control in a similar fashion.

She had learned that Steven was, effectively, a Diamond, Her Diamond, while the memory of corrupting in front of him was still fresh.

It was humiliating.

She'd decided he was different from the original Pink. He had to be. He was just a coffin for her corpse, a disgusting parody of what could have been.

But then she'd learned who Pink Diamond really was. She was no longer a martyr, no longer a symbol, a justification for harsh authority and the prevention of non-conformity. She had betrayed her entire species, all for Earth.

She'd wanted to tear her own gem out to stop the pain, settling on destroying trees and throwing rocks instead. But it didn't change a single thing that had happened.

She remembered the ache that set in afterward, the feeling that everything she thought she knew had been turned over and dumped out.

But Steven hadn't left. He returned to her, time and time again, no matter how hard she tried to chase him off. She didn't like the things he told her. He wanted her to join his stupid school, to choose a purpose. Didn't he understand why she couldn't?

She couldn't serve a Diamond like Steven, but she couldn't serve anyone else. Not anymore. And with no one to fight for, no one to protect, she was forced to live a meaningless existence. The cave became her prison, the trees were her bars, and the only thing that kept her sane was her 'training sessions'. But without a sparring partner, they were unfulfilling, pointless.

She had only one shred of hope left, which she clung to so tightly that it hurt. The hope that she could redeem herself in the eyes of Her Diamond, and help him see that he couldn't choose his purpose anymore than she could. The possibility that she could resurrect what lay dormant inside him was the only thing that kept her going some days.

When they fought in the woods that summer day, almost a year ago now, that hope had been rekindled, burning bright and long for months. She needed him to see that she was still a Quartz, still a proud soldier, to see that the corruption hadn't completely ruined her. She was salvageable. And she'd learned that he was, too.

When he had come to her days ago, she had seen her chance and taken it. Sure, it had gotten out of hand, but it'd proven to him once and for all that he was a Diamond, he couldn't choose to be anything else, and that Jasper was worthy of his governance. Why else would he have brought her back?

A pathetic sounding thump and a woosh of breath broke her from her thoughts, and she realized that while she'd been thinking (she'd been doing too much of that lately), he'd been trying to stumble over to her. The attempt turned into uncoordinated crawling, and how in the galaxy could one manage to sway so much on all fours?

He collapsed onto her lap, laying on his side, and draping his upper body across her thighs. She tried to feel disgusted, she really did, but this shameless display of neediness only brought familiar feelings back to her. Feelings from when she'd only been a few hundred years old, watching Pink Diamond pass by in her palanquin. She was taller than most Quartzes, but had still needed to stretch herself to see the top of her fluffy, pink hair, peeking out over the bobbing heads of cheering gems. She'd wondered endlessly what it'd be like to speak to her, to have her gaze, to stand in her presence.

She had always seen Her Diamond from far away, like a distant, beautiful star. And now she was- he was right here.

Cautiously, prepared to retract her hand at any moment, she touched him.

He leaned into it, humming and closing his eyes.

He was warm. And so soft. Gems were never this soft. Their bodies were solid, everywhere. Not a single place existed where you could find anything nonrigid. She'd fought an uncountable number of gems, and hadn't ever found a patch of skin that didn't at least try to resist impact.

She ran her fingers over his side, feeling the slow rise and fall of his chest. Rhythmic. Stable. Oddly… soothing.

And he just let her, laying placidly in her lap. His shirt had ridden up, leaving his gem bared and vulnerable, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. She suddenly felt so useless and so important at the same time.

"...and I don't know if she ever did."

Jasper blinked. Had he been talking? She admonished herself for getting distracted. He was frowning deeply now, supposedly having said his piece about… well. One of the Crystal Gems, probably. But then his chest twitched, rocking once, and she heard him sniffle. He rolled over onto his stomach, and Jasper felt energy radiating from his gem where it was touching her.

She placed a hand on his back, rubbing up and down a few times unthinkingly.

Sure, his hideous displays of vulnerability were a tad disgusting. But where she had once thought him weak for his human emotions, she now saw them as a strength.

Diamonds were notorious for being cold-hearted and logical, impassive and apathetic. Humans, she'd realized, were passionate, desperate for survival and willing to do whatever they could to ensure it. The strength and viciousness Steven had shown during their last battle had not come from his Diamond side, but from his humanity. He wasn't half of anything, he was all of both.

"Jasper," She perked up at hearing her name.

"Do you… like me?" He asked.

Jasper blinked. What sort of a question was that?

"Your radiance outshines the sun, My Di- uh, Steven."

He giggled below her, and she cocked her head, wondering what it was he found funny.

"Am I… Do you seriously, honestly want me here?" His slurring had gotten worse, and his voice was small and quiet, muffled against her leg, but she heard those words like they were louder than a thunderclap.

"Of course, My Steven."

He whimpered into her leg, a wetness forming where his eyes rested. She would have found it completely pitiful if not for the way he unknowingly clutched at her leg, a brutal, monstrous strength putting some bite into the hold. He'd grown much stronger in the past few days, and though his form had reverted back to its natural state, his strength hadn't.

He seemed to have forgotten this completely. A lesser gem might've squealed in pain, but Jasper reveled in it. Pain was good. Pain was familiar. It was grounding, and it assured her of who, and what, she was present with.

"And. A-And you'll never leave me?" He asked.

"Never, My Diamond." She paused, realizing she'd erred in addressing him. She looked at him, waiting for admonishment, for a correction. For him to hiss his name at her in frustration, like he had every other time she'd made the mistake.

"...Promise?" He asked instead, and she paused.

"I promise."

They sat like that for a bit, and Jasper thought about previous conversations they'd had. Her Diamond hadn't been in much of a mood for her suggestions earlier, but he seemed… different now. More willing to hear her out.

"...If I might ask, My... Diamond, what is your plan now?"

She felt him frown deeply into her leg.

"I… I don't know." He answered. He had become tense under her hand, and for a second, she almost thought he would try to get up and leave. She'd admit it to no one, but she wanted the moment to last. Just a little longer. She ran a huge finger over his spine, watching him for any reaction. He shivered, but otherwise seemed to melt again, and she continued petting his back.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do." His voice was breaking. "Connie says- Connie says you need something like, like a high school di-plo-ma to get into college, or a GED, whatever that is. And like, I don't even have an ID! Or a- or a Social Studies Number, I don't even have an address anymore! I can't get a job, and I can't go to school, and I can't even get married to somebody who can do both of those things because I'm… because..."

The grip on her legs became tighter as Steven began to cry.

She watched him for a bit, not moving to mock or comfort. Instead, she thought about her next words, choosing carefully. He was vulnerable and hopeless, maybe it was possible to get through to him.

"I'm assuming these are all… human things, My Diamond. Am I correct?"

He mumbled an unintelligible response, but nodded sloppily. It seemed difficult for him given how hard he was pressing his face into her leg. She stroked a hand down his back again, and some of the quaking subsided.

"My Diamond… You've proven yourself to be an excellent leader, more powerful than even your predecessor."

The sobbing quieted slightly, and she could tell he was listening. Good.

"I've heard of the terrors that plague the Earth. It's in rough shape, could use someone like you."

She stared down at him, waiting for a response. He was breathing heavily, but had stopped sobbing for the most part. The grip on her leg lessened, but the spots where he'd held onto her still ached deeply. He didn't roll over, or show his face, but she could tell he was seriously contemplating her point.

"You really think so?" He asked.

"You could col- fix it. Just like you… fixed," She tried to hide the bitterness in her voice, "Homeworld. You could establish fair rules, secure world peace, and abolish the need of the, the um. The Psycho Social Number. ...If you wanted."

He sniffled again, and she studied him, waiting for any kind of reaction.

"...Yeah, ok."

Her eyes lit up.

"Really?"

"Yep. But first, could you like, carry me to that bush over there? I'm about 30 seconds from throwing up."

"Of course, My Diamond."