Mako's Message: Had two days off in a row. Decided to write this instead of waiting a couple days like I usually do. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it.


I just had this dream...

I'm back in Dave's room and we're sitting on the floor, and he has his arms wrapped around me, holding me to him. We don't say anything. We just sit there, nestled together. I feel safe. Dave is protecting me.

We're not happy though. It's tense. The longer we sit the tighter we hold each other. We know we have to leave.

I look up, I can't even really see him, my lips are pressed against his neck. I say, "I miss you."

He leans into me and says, "I miss you too."

It hurts. We're holding each other so tight it hurts, and we can't bare to let go.

I tell him, "I want to be with you."

He pulls me away just enough to kiss me. It's soft and gentle. Almost a ghost of a kiss.

Then he picks me up and carries me over to his bed.

He lays me down on top of the blanket and then crawls on top of me. He leans down and kisses me again.

And then Dave is laying on his side next to me. The blanket and sheets are a twisted mess around us, and his arm is resting on my jeans, his hand is on my stomach, just under my shirt. The slight contact is enough to bring fill me with a warm glow and we're slowly nuzzling each other.

Dave whispers, "I'm sorry." and then he's ripped away.

I run after him, but I run right into my room. I made a mistake so I try to turn back but the door slams shut. I go for the window and bars slam down across it. I try to rip them out but they don't budge at all. I throw myself at the door but it's made of iron and all I do is bounce off.

I scream, and scream, and scream.

Then I woke up.

I get up. It's dark out, but I can see there are no bar's on my window and my door is still made of wood.

I touch my computer, but don't turn it on. I decide to walk around the house. Shake it off. I go to the kitchen and open and close the fridge without getting anything. I turn the water on and then off. I wander into the living room and look around. I don't turn on the TV. I see my book sitting on the table. I pick it up, then put it back down. I go to the front door and put my hand on the knob, but I don't leave. I go down to the weight room, I look around, but I don't touch anything. I go back up stairs and into Marcus' room. He's sleeping and I stand over his bed, I think about waking him up but don't.

Finally, I went back to my room to try and sleep again. I can't though. I lay there just staring at the ceiling. I try counting sheep. Nothing. I check the clock and it's still way to early to be up. I pick up my phone. I think, "Dave might be up" but I don't send any messages.

I get up and wander through the house again. Not having anything better to do.

And then I do it again. And again. And again.

And finally I just can't take it anymore and I just scream.

And then I wake up.

I look around. No bars, no iron door. The sun is coming up. It's okay to be up. I reach for my phone on reflex, forgetting that Marcus' took it.

I go downstairs and eat breakfast, wondering if I should go wake up Marcus.

Instead I decided to tell you about my mindfuck of a dream.

Today is going to suck.