Me: Thank you to all who reviewed last chapter! I know I've said it before but it really means the world to me when you take the time to comment on my story. These plot lines lived in my head for so long, and writing them out and having people enjoy them is just amazing.
Oh! And Happy New Year! I hope you are as well as you can be in the circumstances of this world.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine but what is
…
Chapter 29: The Choice Is Your's
Clary didn't know what the hell Aster had given her. All she knew was the pain. Icy, cold pain. Pain that made every nerve in her body jump. Pain that made her very bones shake and feel like they were about to crack. Pain so strong it kept her from screaming, from breathing.
Pain that made her unable to feel the baby moving inside of her.
'You killed it. You killed my baby.' Clary curled up on herself on the Cell floor, catching her breath enough for an involuntary sob to escape her. It made the pain worse. 'It's dead. Dead like me, dead like Jace.'
Her promise to herself to never show weakness in front of her captors was broken as tears fell from her eyes and onto her face. She could see Aster now, staring at her from the other side of the room. 'I hate you. I will kill you.'
Aster's face was as studious as ever, looking at her pathetic form on the floor as if she were an interesting specimen. ''It's funny,'' he remarked casually when Clary's sobs had lessened, ignorant to her silent threats. ''I got into this experiments for the child, but you know, Renage may be right.''
Clary watched through blurry vision as Aster knelt to catch her gaze. ''You're the real prize,'' he mused, low enough that Clary barely heard him. Darkness was replacing the pain. ''The perfect warrior…''
Unconsciousness was preferable to pain. Clary let her eyes fall shut. She almost didn't catch Aster's last comment, and certainly at the time did not understand it.
''The perfect monster.''
The demon roared, swiping at the little demons in it's path in anger. They scampered away, fleeing the room to get away from it. But the Demon was on a rampage, and it's anger called to be quenched by killing anything it could. The little demons, Simon- it would kill anything and everything.
And what about you?
Clary felt as though her mind was in two places at one. A part of her was standing in front of Simon, unable to feel his hand in her's from how numb she was, and seeing his look of horror and incomprehension. Another part of her was with the Demon, it's look and manner giving her a once in a lifetime offer.
Will you join me? Will you get revenge on all who wronged you? All who wronged your daughter?
Will you and Moriah come where you belong?
The worst part of being in two places at once was each part of Clary had it's own answer.
…
''Jace!'' Isabelle shouted. She sent her knife through a demon that charged her. She ran around the ones that eagerly took it's place. ''Jace!''
Jace and Renage were still locked in combat, and neither one broke their concentration to look at her. For all the chaos of the little demons around them, Jace and Renage were too engrossed in each other to give any notice to their surroundings. The looks on their faces, how each blow of their swords clashed…
They're fighting to the death.
This realization made Isabelle go cold. In any other scenario, she would not be surprised. In any other scenario, she would place her money on Jace killing Renage. But this was not just any scenario. With all these demons around them, Jace was just as likely to die by demons as he was by Renage. Even if he did triumph over her, the victory would be short lived. ''Jace!''
Not bothering to land killing blows on the demons that swarmed her, Isabelle ran to her brother. She would drag him out of here if she had to. They needed to leave, him and Clary both.
…
Valentine had been a good teacher in that he had instructed Jace to never, ever let his guard down. A warrior did not have the luxury of thinking he was safe. A warrior must always, always be aware of his surroundings. The trick was to constantly check, to constantly look and listen to what was going on around you, and never take for granted that you were safe.
Listen? Jace could hear the chaos of the chittering little demons.
Look? Out of the corner of his eyes he vaguely registered the black shapes and shadows. But all he cared about was the blue figure in front of him.
With each clash of metal, each scrapping sound of blades interlocking and whipping through the air, the hunger in Jace increased. The hunger to end this. The longing to get compensation for all those visits in the Cells, for all the taunting words, all the 'punishments', all the scars that covered Clary's and Moriah's bodies. He was longing for it, longing for the moment Renage's blue hair would be stained with red.
The moment she would regret touching a Herondale family.
He could hear Isabelle call to him. He knew she was fighting her way towards him. Jace recognized he was too close to see just how desperate the situation was. He also knew- with only a little horror at himself- that he didn't care.
He could die here in this warehouse with no qualms, as long as he took Renage down with him.
And by the Angel, I will.
…
Will you join me? Will you get revenge on all who wronged you? All who wronged your daughter?
Renage, dead. Geoffrey, dead. Suspicions would be raised, but who could prove anything? No doubt people would assume, and theories would be discussed. They would not be welcomed in Idris, but did she really care?
No one need know. Life could go to some semblance of normal, normal now in the security that no one could hurt them. Maybe her eyes would be stained black for ever, but did she care? She could take it. Take Isabelle bracing herself before touching her, take Max never quite meeting her eyes, take Alec flinching every time she entered a room. Moriah had to deal with it, why couldn't she?
She had no idea how Luke would react. Her mother might never be able to look at her again. She might not look at anyone again. Doing this might kill her.
She did not know what Jonathan's feelings would be. Would he be scared or proud? Smug or horrified?
And Jace…would this be the thing that would make her not pure? How could she stain his angel goodness with her black soul?
And Moriah…would her daughter even want this? Want her mommy with black eyes instead of green? Cold hugs instead of warm ones? Moriah, who flinched at the demons in Idris, who even when she saw the Demon was afraid, would she want this?
Could she give it all up- all her relationships and family- could she sacrifice everything for the promise of safety? If she did become a demon, the very thing a Shadowhunter was supposed to eliminate, she might be able to ensure her family was safe. Could she condemn herself to a life of being hunted and despised on that chance? That chance that Moriah and Jace would be able to live in safety?
She knew the answer immediately.
''Yes.''
…
Simon could recall the moment his heart had stopped beating when he became a vampire. It was very similar to the feeling he had now. ''Yes?'' He repeated in confusion. ''Yes what?''
Clary did not answer him. She was looking to the Demon. The chaos of the room was making Simon's head spin. Between the wind and the chittering noises and the roaring of the Demon, it was impossible to think. It was impossible to process that the cold, pale, black eyed girl in front of him was his best friend. ''Yes what?''
''I have to do it,'' Clary said. Simon only saw her mouth move, and the words took time to register in his ears. ''I have to accept.''
''Accept?'' He didn't understand what was happening. She took a step forward, her hand almost slipping out of his. His parabatai rune began to burn again.
''No!'' Simon followed her, gripping her hand tighter and yanking her toward him. Panic built in his chest. He didn't understand what was happening, but he was certain that if Clary walked away now, walked towards that howling Demon, she would be lost to him forever. ''Clary-''
''Let go!'' She screamed venomously. Panic flickered on her own face. ''I'm sorry. I have to go.''
''Like hell!'' Simon was having flashbacks to Naranth. Being on that town street and Clary wrenching away from him, fleeing to the apartment in hopes of getting there on time. Fleeing and hiding from him instead of letting him in. Instead of trusting him. That was not happening again. ''Clary, we have to go!''
''Don't you get it?'' Her voice was loud and shrill enough to be heard even over the wind. ''We can never go! This will never be over! I will always be broken!''
''Broken?'' Simon stared. ''You're Goddamn Clarissa Fray. You're not broken. You've never been broken. The only way we'll be broken is if that thing chops us up into little pieces and we die. That's how we'll be broken.''
''I can't-''
''God, shut up!'' He shook her shoulders. ''For once in your life, Fray, shut up. You controlled it before, do it again!''
''I don't know how!''
''We'll figure it out!'' He clasped her hand again. ''Together.''
…
Will you join me? Will you get revenge on all who wronged you? All who wronged your daughter?
How did one say no?
How did one say no to power? To sweet, unstoppable power? How after tasting such a dish, did one go back to the shadows? Back to fear and sleepless nights, crying and listening to cries? How did one go back to being alone?
The mark on her arm burned.
Could she trust that she wasn't alone? Could she trust she wasn't the thing everyone thought Moriah was? Could she trust that if it turned out she was, that everyone would still be there? Jace, Alec, Izzy, Max, Jonathan, Maryse, Robert, Luke, her mom?
Her parabatai?
Simon's hand gripped her's. He was here, right now. She wasn't alone. She could do this- no, they could do this.
She wanted safety. Maybe if she trusted, she would realize it was already there.
Clary tightened her grip on Simon. She raised her hand to the Demon again. It took all her courage to respond to it's question.
No.
…
Humans were far simpler than they would've liked to believe. They made such messes of everything, such complicated proofs for what they wanted and why they wanted it. They often fell short of their potential because their purposes required sacrifices and oh! They just couldn't make the right sacrifices.
Renage knew all about sacrifice. She had thought many times in her life long and hard about what she was willing to give up to accomplish what she wanted. She was fully prepared to go all in, knowing that failure would result in her death. She supposed she should be proud to have made an enemy who felt the same way.
Jace Herondale didn't care what happened after this battle. He didn't care about the demons around them or even his sister trying to protect him from behind. He only cared about Renage, only cared if she died. Renage herself only cared about getting out alive, and that meant she had room for different options. Fleeing, fighting, dodging- there were variables. But not in Jace Herondale's world, oh no.
He was all in or all out. Either he would kill her or not. He had decided on killing. And it was because of this uncaring attitude about anything else that he got the upper hand.
Renage knew when she fell to the floor that this was it. As he stood over her, she figured she had about ten seconds to live. She took a trembling breath. ''Well played.''
10. He glared down at her.
9. Renage laid back on the floor. Pain in her side made her realize she was already bleeding out. ''Better hurry before the demons beat you to it,'' she hissed weakly.
8. ''Don't rush me.''
7. ''Jace!''
6. ''Little sister's looking for you.''
5. ''God, that I could torture you like you tortured me.''
4. ''You couldn't. No one posses my ability.''
3. ''Thank god for that.''
2. ''I don't believe in god.''
1. ''Good. Enjoy Hell, regardless.''
The sword came down.
…
Simon had been told the strength of a parapatai rune was stronger than anything else. He just didn't think it had ever been used like this before.
He didn't know what Clary was doing, and honestly as sick as he was of not knowing what she was doing, he was embracing his ignorance at this point. All he knew was the contrast of clinging to her cold hand and the burning on his arm was really, really irritating.
Not as irritating, he suspected, as the Demon, roaring in front of them.
He didn't really hear so much as glean from some strange source- maybe through the rune that connected them- snippets and feelings between Clary and the Demon.
'You will serve me. You are mine. I am not your's. I control you. I own you.'
'But who owns you?'
'I. Own. You. Serve me.'
The wind grew stronger, if that were even possibly. Simon clung to Clary and she clung to him. The Demon roared. Boxes fell and crashed around them. Simon sent up a fleeting prayer that the building would withstand this, and that Jace and Isabelle were still alive.
'Succumb to me.'
More crashing and wind. The Demon let out another enraged howl. And then a sound rang out, so loud and quick, like a roll of thunder that was over as quickly as a clap. It made Simon's heart lodge in his throat.
And then everything was still.
…
Isabelle had managed to grab Jace and knock him to the floor just as the wind picked up. And by wind she meant something akin to the tornado that Dorothy character and her dog had been in because though like them they survived, she was pretty sure they shouldn't have.
When the noise had died down, both she and Jace raised their heads slowly. Isabelle rubbed her ears. They were ringing with silence. ''What the hell?''
''I don't know.'' Jace's tone was bland. ''Maybe-''
He cut himself off as he glanced around. Isabelle noticed his gaze linger on the sight of Renage, her body still stabbed through on the floor. He took a breath. ''Clary.''
They got to their feet quickly. It was only as they started in the direction he had sent Simon off in that Isabelle noticed. ''Jace.''
He paused to look at her. ''What?''
The silence in her ears was more deafening than ever now that she realized what it meant. She cast a glance over the railing to confirm. ''No demons.''
The lack of adrenaline from his fight made Jace take a moment to understand. He followed her gaze. ''No demons…''
They hurried on.
…
It was several minutes before Clary dared to open her eyes. She kept them shut tight, listening as wood and glass from the windows clinked on the floor and settled as the wind died down. She could feel Simon's hand still in her's, and she wasn't sure who was responsible for cutting off whose circulation.
When she could no longer heard the various noises, nor the pounding of her own heart, she risked making to sit up. Simon followed suit. They were silent as they looked around the silent- and empty- room.
Simon swallowed hard. ''So,'' he began, but his voice was a croak. ''What the hell?''
Clary shook her head numbly. That cold feeling was still wrapped around her heart. ''I don't know.''
He looked at her curiously, and it wasn't until he spoke that she realized why. ''Your eyes are green.''
Another feeling rose up in Clary's chest, and she wasn't sure if it was relief or disappointment. ''Cool.''
A stupid thing to say, but nothing else really came to her mind. Silence lapsed over them, and it wasn't until they heard footsteps running towards them that they hurried to their feet.
Jace and Isabelle entered. Relief spread on both their faces when they saw them. ''You're okay?'' Isabelle asked.
''Yeah.'' They all came closer, and Clary threw her arms around Jace. Goosebumps broke out on her skin from his warmth. ''You-''
''Done,'' he whispered back.
''Good.'' That cold feeling grew inside of her. She was pleased.
Rot in hell with Aster, Renage.
Me: Hope you enjoyed! Coming to the end soon! 1 to 2 more chapters, I think. If you have a moment, I would love it if you could review!
Happy Writing!
