Mako's Message: Okay, so uh, SPOILERS! Seriously. Not joking. If you haven't read Kick-Ass 2 #2 then reading this will spoil one of the surprises from that book. Granted, it's presented as a surprise in THIS story as well, but eh. Just a heads up. There's probably some other stuff in here that might be considered a spoiler, but I think that was the only big one. Oh and I may have messed up on a characters name in an earlier chapter. It was supposed to be Colonel Stars, not Colonel Stripes. My bad.
That said, this is where I finally catch up to the comic(not counting the flash forward). I've been sort of using it as a guide post, but after these next few chapters I'm gonna have to come up with everyhing myself. Granted, 90% of the plot was original anyway so it shouldn't affect the quality.
Anyway, enjoy!
I have the stupidest grin on my face, and I really shouldn't, but today was such trip.
Marcus noticed the improvement in my mood today and asked what had me smiling all of a sudden. I told him, "My two weeks are up, duh. Now gimmie back my phone."
He smiled, pulled it out of his pocket, set it on the table, and walked away. I snatched it up and started writing a text to Angela and Jessi only to hear him say, "At least you do something like a normal 11-year-old."
I yelled after him, "Don't start that argument again I am I in a GOOD MOOD!"
Obviously Marcus was feeling daring because he responded with, "And we both know how rare THAT is."
So I threw a throw pillow at him. That's what they're for, right?
It actually made me feel even better. Yeah, I know I yelled at Marcus about how I'm not normal, and how I'll never BE normal, and that he needs to give up on trying to make me normal... but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to be. And things like that make feel like I'm just a normal girl with a normal family.
Don't get me wrong though, if somone said they could unscrew my head and pour out all the training and everything that makes me not normal, and let me live like I WAS just another 11-year-old, I wouldn't do it. You can't put a price on that kind of awesome.
So, I spent most the of the day...acting like an 11-year-old girl. I sat on my bed and texted my friends, including Marty and Todd, but not Dave since he had to work today. I listened to music and read my book. I killed time on the web.
Dave did text me that evening though, when he was going to meet the superhero team. He wanted to make sure I didn't want to try and sneak out and meet up with them. He said, "You could be our Wolverine." And I cannot say I wasn't tempted, but I had to remind him I was grounded and wanted to try and make this work out.
So, It was a pretty good day, if quiet and I went to bed at a reasonable hour.
So, you're probably wondering why I'm grinning like an idiot and said today was a trip.
Well, later that night my bed shook and I shot awake, saw a silhouette standing over me, grabbed the knife under my pillow and tried to stab them. My stab was blocked and I heard a cracking voice say, "Jesus Christ Mindy!" That's when my eyes adjusted to the light and I could see it was Dave standing over me, in costume, "You sleep with a knife unfder your pillow?"
At the time I was trying to slow my own heart down, because, god damn, you don't realize how creepy that is until you're on the other side of it. Now though, I think it's hilarious that he was so freaked out his voice cracked.
Anyway, I took a deep breath and said, "Of course I do," then after a moment added, "Nice block."
Dave just gave me that goofy grin of his and said, "Well, I had a really great teacher."
I smiled and said, "And don't you forget it." That's when realization hit me. "Dude! What the fuck are you doing here? What if Marcus catches you?"
"He wont. He works night shift tonight right? It's still pretty early in the night. He wont be back for awhile."
"You are really pushing your luck here."
"I can leave then," he said, gesturing towards the window.
Yeah, I wasn't going to let him out of here that easily, "No, you're here, sit, stay," I said, and patted the bed beside me, "But seriously, what are you doing here?"
He sat down next to me and said "I wanted to talk to you about meeting with Justive Forever."
"Justice Forever." That's what these guys call themselves. It's... well, it's not the worst name they could have had. And I guess it does kind of make a good battle cry, "JUSTICE FOREVER!" Heh. It works for Kick-Ass, but I can't imagine myself yelling that while in costume. I'd go for something like, "Death to Evil!" or, "Fuck Crime!", What did I say when I was at Rasul's? "Okay you cunt's, let's see what you can do." I think it was, and, "So you want to play?" I bet Dave remembers. I have a feeling that night is burned into his memory for all eternity. So, maybe, "Let's play you cunts!" Oh. I know. "Playtime's over Motherfuckers!" There we go, now that's a battle cry.
Anyway, Dave started telling me about their secret headquarters. I think he said it was under a bar... I know it was underground, but I can't remember what it's under... He said it was run by two ex-mafia (yeah, ex-MAFIA) born again christians, Colonol Stars and Lieutenant Stripes. Yeah... Colonol Stars is ex-mafia... I'm not sure how I feel about that. There was a married couple called Remembering Tommy, because their son was abducted right off the street. There was a cop, yeah, a COP whose name is Insect-Man. Apparently he got sick of all the red tape and does this so he can do what his day job doesn't allow. Which apparently means "Get shit done." No offense to marcus, but all that paper work just cushions the criminals. There was a girl in spiked leather called "Night-Bitch"(She tried reall hard with that one, I can tell.) who got into this because her sister was killed and stuffed in a dumpster and the police found nothing. And then, Dave drops this on me, "I kinda blew my idenity."
Before I could beat his ass for being an idiot, he explained that it was because he got over excited when he realised that the last guy, "Battle Guy," is, get this, MARTY EISENBERG! Yes, Marty as in "Todd and Marty."
My jaw hit the floor and I said, "You've got to be shitting me."
"I know, right! But I swear it's him. He even came up with this bullshit story about his parents being killed and eaten in front of him."
I'm sorry to say I laughed my ass off at that.
Dave got real serious by the time I pulled myself together, "What?" I asked him.
"Does Marty look like a super hero to you?"
"No, he looks like the pilbury dough boy."
"Yeah... he doesn't look any different than he did a year ago. I mean, when I started as Kick-Ass I tried to get in shape. I lifted weights, I jogged...nothing like what you've had me doing but still, I deffinetly shapped up. Marty on the other hand..."
"Looks like the pisbury dough boy."
"Yeah. It didn't really hit me until you started laughing but... he's really in no shape to be doing this."
"You're worried he could get hurt?"
"Yeah... maybe I should try and talk him out of it."
I gave him a look that said, "Did you seriously just say that."
"Okay, okay, I know that sounds bad, but I mean..."
"Dave, you got stabbed and run over and it didn't make you stop. Do you really think you can talk Marty out of this?"
"So what do you think I should do?"
I didn't know what else to say so I shrugged and said, "train him."
"Me?"
"Sure why not? You're competant now."
"Mindy, you've had like, six years of experience with this. I've only had a few months. I can't train him."
"Well those are your only options. Convince him to drop it, or get him in shape. I'm sure Erika will appriciate it."
He seemed really down then so I told him to tell me more about their headquarters and the other heroes. That at least got his mind off of Marty for awhile. When he was ready to leave and were saying our goodbyes I told him, "This was fun, but next time, call."
"Well sorry for wanting to actually talk to you. Phone only it is," and he started to hop out the window I ran over and took a swipe at him with my pillow, "That's not what I meant you ass!" and I laughed as I realised I couldn't even see him anymore. I guess he has gotten really good at staying out of sight.
I don't think I'm gonna be able to get back to sleep for awhile.
