Warnings: mentions of character death, very brief violence.

Contains a couple of MCU references as well, because I couldn't think up any of my own names for things.


And They Were (Space) Pirates

"Are you sure about this?" Will asked Jack as the pair crept towards the pair of guards.

He'd let Jack talk him into this heist in the midst of a drunken stupor. Driven to grief by the loss of his wife, he had stupidly agreed to the older pirate's schemes without question.

Now, as he snuck closer to the aliens that protected the Tortugan reserves, he was starting to have second thoughts. The Tortugans were a race of one-eyed, one-horned creatures. They looked like a cross between a Cyclops and a unicorn, but with heavy resemblance to the Cyclops.

Jack looked over at him and grinned. "When am I ever sure about anything?"

Will's heart sank. He really should have known better than to follow Jack Sparrow onto a heavily-guarded alien planet. The man never thought anything through. Still, they had made it this far...

Pushing all doubt from his mind, Will wrapped his fingers around the hilt of his sword and prepared to strike. If he made it out of this alive, he would spend his share of the riches on booze. If he didn't...well, he would join his beloved Elizabeth in the afterlife.

...

"Jack, let's go!" Will bellowed, running towards their spaceship. Jack slashed his sword at the nearest Tortugan, beheading him, before sprinting after Will.

Will climbed aboard and began to power up the ship, pressing buttons and pulling switches. Jack hopped in beside him moments later, shouting, "Good riddance, you ugly bastards! Today is the day you shall always remember as the day that you—"

"Shut it, Jack," Will snapped. It had been a close call. He and Jack had barely made it out with a chest of riches. His arm was bleeding from a nasty cut, and his leg muscles were screaming in pain.

Jack slammed the door shut and looked over at him. "What's gotten into you, mate?"

"What's gotten into me?" Will repeated. He kept his gaze straight ahead, trying to focus on steering the ship as far from Tortuga as possible. "We could have died!" He glanced into the rearview mirror and swore at the sight of several Tortugans giving chase. "They can fly? You never mentioned that they could fly!"

"I didn't?" Jack asked innocently. "Must've slipped my mind."

"Damn it, Jack!" Will smashed his foot down on the gas pedal. "It's as though you're trying to get us killed!"

"Now, I take great offense to that accusation." Jack peered out the bubbled window and let out a huff. "You call this getting away? Well, it's no wonder they don't call you Captain Will!"

Will rolled his eyes and sat back in his seat. "Fine, then. You take the wheel, Captain."

"Thank you." Jack stood and sidled in front of Will, who suddenly found himself with an eyeful of Jack's arse.

"Uh...I think I'll just take a nap, then," he said. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Jack's off-key humming threatened to drive him mad, however. "Is the humming really necessary?"

"Yes. It relaxes me."

"Well, it doesn't relax me." Will sighed, wondering if the Tortugans were still on their tail. "Have you lost them?"

"Aye!" Jack sounded pleased with himself. "We'll head to Contraxia, maybe have a drink or two at the Iron Lotus, whaddya say?"

Will knew what Jack really hoped to do at the bar—visit the bordello. Almost as if he had read Will's mind, Jack continued, "Maybe you can find a nice little robot to spend the night with, eh?"

Will slammed his hand down onto the armrest. "I'm not going to do that, Jack. I loved Elizabeth, and I don't want to be with anyone else."

"Look, mate, you've got to move on sometime, is all I'm saying. 'Tis unfortunate that your bonny lass was killed by the Sovereign, but one day you'll realize that you only loved how good she looked in those tight dresses..."

"That's enough," Will said loudly, getting to his feet. He pushed Jack out of the way and took control of the steering wheel. "We'll go to Contraxia, but just for the drinks, you hear? The Tortugans will be after us and we need to find somewhere to lie low."

Jack smirked at him. "I think I know just the place."


WC: 715