Hey guys! It feels like forever since I published a story on here, but I'm back with a Final Fantasy VII ficlet! The 2020 Remake has really piqued my interest in the fandom again. I've fallen in love with all the characters and relationships all over again, especially the relationship between Cloud and Aerith. This does have spoilers for the original Final Fantasy VII, as this takes place post-FFVII. There is also some slight canon-divergence, as this is not how it all takes place within the canon of the game.

Thanks for sticking around and reading my work!
-KHC


It's always been the flowers. If there's anything she can remember, it's the flowers. They used to poke through the floorboards of the old church that had drifted apart in its years of desolation. They grew like weeds, hundreds blooming overnight. They blossomed wherever they could find the space to. She often felt like the flowers grew just for her. It's almost like they whispered secrets in her ear as the impossible afternoon sun lulled her to sleep. The church sat among piles of rubble and ruins, inconspicuous to those who happened across it. She took it upon herself to restore the church, provide a place of comfort, and tend to her flowers. Instead of gaining families of rodents within the walls of the old sanctuary and spiders in the high vaulted ceiling, it gained a friend.

That's how Aerith used to view it, at least. Used to… Aerith catches herself. It's strange to think of herself in the past tense. Everything about who she was is fading. She desperately grasps onto anything she can, because she doesn't want to forget. She doesn't know how long she has been a part of the Lifestream. Of course, she's been a part of the Lifestream her whole life, but this is an entirely different sensation. She can no longer feel herself breathe, her body no longer has sensation; she feels nothing and everything all at the same time. This is almost as impossible to her as the feeling of the warm mid-afternoon sun poking through the roof of the church.

She clings to the image of the kirk, pleading for clarity. Even this, so clear just moments ago, is fading. She doesn't blame anyone for her sudden coming back to the Lifestream, she just wishes she could keep a hold of who she was. She can hardly bear to let go of those who she loved. The church in the slums, whom she regarded as a friend for several years of her youth. Her mother, with her greying auburn hair and home-cooked meals that she used to love so much. She can't remember her face, but she remembers the feeling of warmth she exuded and the familiarity of home.

She remembers a boy with jet black hair, heart blossoming with light at the image in her mind's eye. She knows she loved him. She knows she misses him by the pang that cuts through her when she thinks too hard about him. She also knows that at some point, she let him go.

The final image is the one that she clings to most desperately. The blonde, lean man, with those mako blue eyes that were only gentle when he looked her way. Yes, she loved him too, but in a different way. It felt much more… complete. Warmth consumes her when she thinks about this man. If she could only remember his name.

She had always imagined that going back to the Lifestream would be peaceful. Perhaps it would be if she weren't so tethered to everything she left behind.

Suddenly, as if snapping back into reality, Aerith is overwhelmed by a complete sense of crystal clarity. She can all at once feel everything again, and images return clearer than she had ever seen them, even when she was alive. Names finally come back to her, too: Mother, Tifa, lilies, poppies, sunflowers, roses, Zack, andー

"Cloud!"

The name leaves her lips before she can stop herself.

Cloud's head snaps up. His eyes search for her. Aerith can see him so plainly, now. She's standing with him, there in the church. She can feel the give of the ground beneath her worn leather boots, she can smell the soil that stayed moist only because of her connection to the Lifestream. She watches as the flowers around her breathe in life and bloom a little wider at her presence.

Cloud looks confused, in pain. Aerith can see the lines on his face and the light freckles he always tried to insist he didn't have. He looks like he's aged since the last time she saw him. Grief does that, sometimes. He's not sleeping either. Aerith can feel his exhaustion radiating off of him like a fever.

Cloud treads carefully on the flowers, trying to find where he heard her voice. Aerith wants to yell and scream that she's right here in front of him, but she doesn't let herself. She bites her tongue to keep from saying his name again. She didn't realize how much she missed saying it until she wasn't able to anymore. It melts on her tongue like those hard candies her mother used to make with the leftover white sugar from baking.

Eventually, Cloud gives up looking and sits on the edge of the flowerbed. The old wooden floorboards creak as he lowers himself onto them. Aerith makes to move towards him, but something holds her back. Part of her just wants to soak him in until she's certain she'll never forget even the smallest detail of his face, but the other part of her wants to fling her arms around him and never let go. The Lifestream is giving her this one last opportunity to say goodbye, and she knows she can't take it for granted.

The dark clouds above the church part and the impossible sun dapples across Cloud's face. For a moment, he looks young again as he tips his face towards the sunspots. Aerith finally decides to take a seat next to him. Hearing the wood groan next to him, Cloud turns his head. Aerith can't help but smile because even if he doesn't know it, he's looking right into her eyes.

"It's okay, Cloud." Aerith finally allows herself to speak. Cloud startles and scrambles away from her, but she leans out and wraps a hand around his wrist. He falls still for a moment, squinting against the sunlight from the roof. If he looks hard enough, he almost feels like he can make out the shape of…

"Aerith?" He says. He crawls back over to where he was sitting, heart in his throat. He reaches out to touch her, but his hand falls right through her image. She releases his wrist, and the chill on his skin disappears. "But how…"

She shakes her head. "I don't know. But I'm glad I am. I didn't think I'd get to see you again."

Cloud suddenly can't make eye contact with her. Aerith knows it's because he's suffocating in his own guilt over her return to the Lifestream. "Cloud…" she urges, gently. Cloud won't ever be able to forget the way her voice tinkled in his ears like silver bells, and hearing it again after all this time sends chills racing down his spine. When he doesn't look back at her, she reaches over to cradle his cheek in her palm.

Aerith watches as he tenses up for a moment at her touch, before completely relaxing into her hand. She wonders how long it's been since he's been touched like this. Quite a while, she suspects, by how greedily his heart laps up the contact. "Oh, Cloud, I missed you."

Cloud lifts his hand to hold Aerith's against his cheek, but he remembers that he can't touch her. So there he sits, feeling her icy touch against his cheek and his palm. They sit for a long while, far longer than either of them care to count.

Finally, Cloud speaks. His voice is thick with barely suppressed tears. "I could have saved you." Aerith hasn't seen him so vulnerable since the day he returned her to the Lifestream. "I could have, and I didn't."

Aerith shakes her head, tilting his head up with her hand to force eye contact. "No. My fate was sealed that day, but yours isn't." She says firmly, but with undeniable love. "You need to recognize that you still have so much more life to live." She leans in further so she can make sure that he's really listening to her. "Do you hear me? You have so many other people to save. You can't spend the rest of your life torturing yourself for something you never could have changed."

Cloud looks like he wants to say something, but decides against it. Aerith lifts his chin, leans in, and presses a kiss at the very corner of his mouth. It's so cold that Cloud feels her lips burn against his skin before it folds into a warmth that he hasn't felt since the first day he met her in the Sector 7 slums. She pulls away but doesn't take her hand from his palm. She can't seem to, not when he's there and he's real and she can feel his jaw tightening, biting back the words he's afraid to let spill from his lips.

"Do you understand me, Cloud?"

His eyes are closed for a few long moments after she pulls away. Finally, just barely, he nods. His mako blue eyes lock back onto hers. "I understand." He hesitates, "I just wish you didn't have to go."

Aerith smiles knowingly, sadly. "But I'm not really going, am I?" She says. "I'm literally a part of the Lifestream. I'm everywhere, all at once and all the time." She passes her free hand along a row of closed lilies, which bloom at her touch. "I'm in these flowers, that you've been taking such good care of, by the way."

Cloud allows a small smile at this. They were so rare, but Aerith loved when she could ease them out of him. "I'm in the soil beneath your feet when you go to visit my mother, in the water that you drink at Seventh Heaven. I'll never leave you, Cloud Strife."

Cloud is silent for a long moment, and they go back to soaking in each other's touch. Finally, softly, hesitantly, "I love you. I'm sorry that I never got to tell you that."

Aerith presses another soft, almost desperate kiss to his lips. "I know. I love you too. I always have. And I know I told you not to fall in love with me, but I'm glad you did." It takes more effort than she anticipated to unhand his face. She sees his jaw tighten. They both know what's coming, after all.

Aerith stands up, and Cloud follows suit. She always loved that he wasn't a great deal taller than her. That way it was always easier for her to look right in those eyes that she found so beautiful, even if they reminded him of his past life.

"I'll come for you." She says, taking a tentative step out of the sunlight. "When it's your time, I'll come to get you. But you're not allowed to come too early, okay? I'm going to be making sure of that."

She waits for a nod before taking him in one last time. Her image slowly dissolves into a green light that drifts upward and carries away on the warm summer breeze.

Cloud isn't sure how long he stands there staring at the spot where Aerith stood moments before. The only thing that brings him out of his thoughts is the sun that suddenly beats down warm and strong on his skin. He knew, somehow, that it was Aerith trying to get him moving.

Cloud takes a deep breath, one last look at the flowers, and steps out into the impossible mid-afternoon sun.


Thanks for reading! You can also find me at AO3 under the pen name Amaranthinne! I've posted this there as well, so take a look if you feel so inclined! Reviews are appreciated if you liked what you read!