Updating on December 17th, but NOT including Ember feels amusing in a tragic way, even though it's not Dec 17th in-story.

So this A/N is literally just me pushing author guilt away: I am totally acknowledging your birthday.


As the day stretched into afternoon, the sky and weather had stopped being so cooperative. The clouds had expanded their reach, filling in the gaps and holes that had enabled sunlight to grace the ground below, making it look and feel even later in the day than it actually was.

However, neither Shadow nor Leaf really took much notice of the shift, aside from the occasional skywards glance to see if there was much chance of the clouds separating once more, or even if the weather was going to take a turn for the worse and add rain.

Weather was the least concerning thing on their minds at the moment.

On the walk back from his meeting with Cecilia, Shadow had taken the time to weigh over the pros and cons of sharing what he had learned with Leaf, and how much he should share. It was a difficult decision, but he found that the answer to this matter was extremely simple.

Despite his resolve, the Espeon had nearly broken down on seeing his brother's expression brighten on seeing him, and hearing the young Leafeon's excited squeal. It reminded him painfully of the things he had already grown to regret from the past few days. In Leaf's eyes, Shadow was everything to him. Even their parents had rarely received such enthusiastic reception from the younger sibling.

Even worse, it reminded him of just the other morning, when Leaf earnestly explained how much he enjoyed spending time with just Shadow. Just the two of them, and even simple joys like sitting together satisfied him.

And that was why Shadow couldn't bear the thought of withholding his new knowledge from Leaf. Why he couldn't keep the entire burden bottled up in his heart again. His brother deserved to know, so that they could work things out together, as a team. As family.

Shadow had clung to Leaf desperately for several minutes, even after Frost and Raze had left them as requested. He had basked in Leaf's presence and comfort the same way Leaf basked in sunlight. It was like sustenance, something he desperately needed and craved in order to lift the darkness surrounding his mood and thoughts. After what felt like an eternity, the Espeon broke the embrace and smiled weakly at Leaf, his brother happily looking up at him, his leafy tail swishing.

"I'm sorry, Leaf," Shadow said quietly. The Leafeon blinked and cocked his head to the side in an adorable expression of inquisitiveness. Shadow cast his gaze downwards for a moment and took a deep breath. He had to steel his nerves to broach this topic, otherwise he'd never be able to overcome this pain.

He raised his eyes again, dimly aware that he had the Leafeon's full attention. Leaf seemed to realize that whatever was on his brother's mind was of utmost importance, because he didn't try to interrupt or guess what Shadow was going to say. That made things a little easier, but only a little.

"Sorry for a lot of things, actually," Shadow continued. He had to swallow hard to keep a lump in his throat from forming. He already could feel his resolve weakening, but he nodded seriously, forcing himself to stay in the moment. "I haven't been...as fair to you as I should be."

Leaf's eyes faltered, and Shadow could see that he wasn't following Shadow's words. He legitimately seemed to have no idea what Shadow was talking about, and the Espeon could hardly blame him for that - he was struggling so much just to form the words that the meaning was becoming garbled.

"Look, just..." Shadow took another breath. His legs were starting to shake a little from the effort of not breaking down into tears, but his mind remained deadset on the task ahead of him. "I know I've been...distant lately. I've been irritable and distracted and probably ignoring you and...I'm s-sorry for...for all that."

The Espeon choked a bit at the end, but silently took solace in the fact he completed the sentence. His vision was becoming blurry through tears, yet he refused to wipe them away yet. If he looked away from Leaf, he might become too scared or ashamed to look back at him.

"Okay!" Leaf said, his tail flicking cheerfully. Shadow blinked at him. He wasn't sure how the Leafeon would react, but that...wasn't quite what he expected. There was an awkward pause, then understanding seemed to flash across Leaf's face. "Oops, I mean uh...apology ex...cepted?"

"Accepted," Shadow corrected gently, taking this moment to wipe his eyes.

"Yeah, that," Leaf said, nodding earnestly.

"No, no, not 'that'. Say the words yourself. That's how you learn," Shadow insisted, managing a small smile. It was the type of argument they used to get into at home, since their parents were so firm on them learning how to properly apologize. Leaf almost never failed to remind Shadow he had to say 'why' he was sorry, and Shadow liked to prod at the fact that Leaf struggled to pronounce certain words, especially considering that Leaf liked to mispronounce his name.

"I did!" Leaf complained, his tail flicking.

"You did it wrong. Say it right!" Shadow urged, his tail flicking in spite of himself. Moments ago, he couldn't imagine derailing a serious talk to insist on something pointless, but at the same time, it was the type of thing he would do as Leaf's brother, and that's the role he needed to return to.

"You're being mean! Say sorry for being mean!" Leaf giggled.

"Say sorry for saying 'accept' wrong!" Shadow countered.

This went on for well over a minute, until they had accumulated about twenty owed apologies for variations of the same crime.

"I'll say words wrong if I want to!" Leaf insisted, puffing out his chest proudly. Shadow snorted with laughter, stifling the majority of the sound with his paw, unable to handle the sheer ridiculousness of the situation anymore.

When both of them finally settled down, Shadow took another deep breath and gave his brother a nuzzle. Leaf purred, but glanced up at Shadow mischievously.

"What ELSE are you sorry for?"

"What?"

"You said you were sorry for a lot of things," the Leafeon reminded him. "What else?"

It actually took Shadow a moment to realize that Leaf was referring not to their little war of apology debt, but rather the much more serious subjects Shadow had tried to address earlier. The playful arguing had actually been so amusing that Shadow had to practically force himself to keep a straight face, and considering the next thing Shadow was going to have to say was not remotely funny, it struck him as incredibly inappropriate to be on the verge of laughter.

"Right...this is...a bit more difficult for me," Shadow said, sitting up and doing his best to give Leaf a serious, meaningful look, but the adorable grin Leaf was wearing was making this painfully difficult. "...do you remember our conversation...uh...before we met Frost?"

"No," Leaf said promptly. Shadow blinked, and Leaf paused to actually consider the question. After a few moments, he shook his head apologetically.

"It was um...about my nightmares?" Shadow provided helpfully.

"Ooh, right!" Leaf said. "How's that been going?"

Shadow just stared at his brother for a few seconds, just long enough for Leaf to realize that it was inappropriate to respond so cheerfully. His expression sobered a little and he looked at the Espeon uncertainly.

"Are they getting worse?" he asked.

"No, not worse. But...last time we spoke, I said I didn't know what happened, and now I found out."

Leaf stiffened, his brown eyes widening slightly. It was at this moment that Shadow realized something about his brother that hadn't occurred to him, even back when they had their first talk regarding his dreams and the content of the events.

Leaf already knew.

Just like Shadow had come to his conclusion long ago, and had desperately been clinging to the hope that his fears were mistaken, Leaf had done the opposite. It suddenly seemed so obvious to Shadow. When they had their talk, Leaf had desperately asked what had happened, clearly seeking confirmation of their parents' loss, and became agitated when Shadow had been unable to provide the answer. Back then, Shadow assumed Leaf had felt the same way he did - emotionally overwhelmed and confused.

But Shadow was wrong, and he only realized it now. Leaf had never doubted that their parents had died. All the clinging he had been doing to Shadow lately was not just because they were extremely close siblings, but because he already KNEW that Shadow was all he had left.

Leaf had chosen not to cling to the empty promises that hope offered. He had already emotionally moved on from the loss, and Shadow reviving the subject was forcing him to react to a wound that was still fresh, but wasn't going to scar.

"I'm sorry," Shadow whispered finally, and turned his gaze back to the grass. "I just...didn't want to keep it from you."

"...thank you," Leaf said, even more quietly than Shadow had. The Espeon didn't even have to look to know that Leaf's ears had drooped. It was a rare and beautiful moment that both of them understood each other completely without voicing the thought aloud, but Shadow wished it could have been a happier thought, rather than confirming the death of their parents.

Discovering this fact had been excruciating for him yet, in an odd way, felt like a huge burden had been removed from him. The weight was still there, yet the size had diminished. It was more manageable, and not as daunting now.


"How do you know?" Shadow demanded. There was no anger in his tone, just confusion and something else that was difficult to identify.

"...I asked him," Cecilia replied quietly.

"What? Asked who?"

"Diablos," the Quilava whispered. "After seeing your memories, I went straight there and demanded answers. It wasn't just you that was affected, but me, and Force, too. And he told me."

The Quilava began to shake, whether from sorrow or anger, Shadow couldn't tell. The flames that were burning on her back intensified, and her blue eyes seemed to burn as she looked into the Espeon's eyes.

"He told me without a moment's hesitation. Not a drop of remorse in his words. It was the most nonchalant confession I'd ever heard," she growled. "And to add insult to injury, he THANKED me for the advice."


Shadow bristled. Even on reflection of the memory, his reaction was the same as when he first heard it from Cecilia. It was the purest form of anger he had ever experienced. Nothing but raw contempt for the being of which the Quilava had spoken. After meeting Diablos within the Ruins, it had become easy to imagine the tone he must have used when Cecilia had confronted him. Dismissive amusement, and nonchalant taunting.

Words alone could not express his gratitude about her coming clean to him. Her pain and guilt had been palpable, and he couldn't imagine how difficult it must have been for her to reveal not only the information she had known that affected him, but also her role, unintentional or otherwise, in the events that had transpired.

Unfortunately, she didn't have all the answers he had wanted. There were some details she had never been told, or details in conversation she hadn't remembered, but Shadow suspected that if she had known more, she would have told him everything without any hesitation, if that was what was needed to make amends to him.

"Leaf?" Shadow said, breaking the extended silence between him and his brother, the abruptness of him speaking startling the Leafeon. "We're going to need to travel again."

"Where?" Leaf didn't seem too surprised by this statement, but then again, he knew they had only come this far to get tutoring for Shadow's psychic abilities. He didn't seem too thrilled, either.

"Where would you like us to go?" Shadow asked. He had been mulling over how to approach the traveling issue with Leaf for a while. He had been too firm with Leaf since the incident with their parents. He had practically forced the little guy to obey his every command without allowing him to have any real input. He had taken the matter of Leaf's safety too far, and had been terrible at the job. Leaf didn't need Shadow to be his parent, just his brother, albeit a brother looking out for his younger sibling.

"Me?" Leaf blinked, startled by the suggestion. Shadow nodded seriously.

"It hasn't been fair of me to drag you along without talking about what you'd like to do," Shadow explained, allowing a small smile. "I can't promise you'll always get to do what you want, but I want to try to be more...accommodating."

Leaf smiled a little, and considered. "I want to go see Bee-Bee again," he said after only a short pause. "I never got to say good-bye before we left," he added, frowning a little. Shadow raised an eyebrow at the promptness of the reply. Clearly, this had been something that had been weighing on the little guy's mind for a while. He knew that Leaf had mentioned the issue a few days ago, but he evidently underestimated how important the Beedrill friend was to his brother.

Shadow frowned thoughtfully, and his hesitation prompted the Leafeon to pout, probably assuming that Shadow was backing out of his suggestion of letting Leaf have some input into the matter.

That was the problem, though. The reason they had left the Eterna area so quickly was because of how unsafe the area was in Shadow's mind. The forest was viciously dangerous, there were Pokemon trainers passing through regularly, and Shadow hadn't known whether he had to be worried about Diablos coming after them to finish the job he had started.

Those seemed like trivial concerns now, though. The forest was still dangerous, but Shadow had since encountered the exact same Pokemon trainer AND Diablos again. There probably was no absolutely safe place in Sinnoh for them to go and not have some manner of a threat lurking. If that was the case, then it didn't really matter too much if they returned.

Shadow finally nodded. "That should be okay," he said, and Leaf's expression brightened.

"Really?"

"Probably, yeah," Shadow said, biting his lip. "There's one or two things I need to do in that area anyway...but we're not leaving yet. And I want to talk to Frost and Raze about it first, okay?"

"Okay! Thanks, Shadow!" the Leafeon chirped, and practically tackled the Espeon in an affectionate embrace. He then glanced up at the cloudy sky and frowned a bit. "Can we go inside now? I think it's going to rain..."