Next chapter! This is another one I've been really excited to write since the beginning! I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did in writing it!
(Edit: Doc Manager messed up my spacing so had to re-upload! Sorry about that.)
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Autophobia: The fear of being alone.
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Westley offered a pleased hum, snapping his notebook shut. Water ran down the bay window panes; haphazard piles of snow melting off the sill.
"I'm glad to see you willing to sit down and do the research I recommended, Adam."
Adam shrugged, shaking his head,
"Not like I have better options."
He offered an amused noise, resting his foot on his knee,
"Yes yes- Now how has your week been…"
--
"I swear I thought training or scouting was monotony." Adam rolled his eyes, shaking his head.
"Opal is quick to the draw. No time wasted, hm?"
"As soon as the damn snow was gone she had us rooting around in the mud."
A cool breeze fluttered the curtains, the windows letting in a soft afternoon light. As soon as the weather permitted, Opal had opened up the entire house, much to Adam's distaste.
"I believe it's good for you. To be doing something productive. Now, has anything else happened since last week?..."
--
Westley slipped on his shoes, reaching for his jacket,
"Thank you for having me again."
"You're always welcome, Westley. Maybe one day Adrien can come visit too!" Opal chirped, beaming.
The older man chuckled, offering a nod,
"I'm sure he'd love that. I'll pass it by him," he glanced to Adam, offering a slight dip to his head, "You're doing well, Adam. I look forward to seeing you next week."
Adam let out a hum, shrugging loosely. Over the past weeks, the faunus had gotten used to Westley's presence. Talking to the man became routine; sometimes about mundane things, others about things to improve his mental state. It was exhausting, but rewarding. Opal had done her fair share as well, doing her best to make him comfortable without babying him. She was still blunt and rough with him, but seemed to take more thought to her words and actions before acting out.
Westley headed out, being careful to not step on any of the new sprouts popping out from the ground around the walkway. He was sent off with a wave before the front door was promptly closed. Opal hummed happily, bumping Adam with her hip,
"So, what's the plan for dinner?"
He shrugged, watching the fluttering curtains as a gust of wind blew through the windows,
"Your choice."
Adam frowned, stuffing his hands in his pockets. A wave of exhaustion flooded through him, as per usual. He was never good at conversation. At feelings; his own most of all. It was a common theme after his sessions with Westley, and Opal knew that. Even through the past weeks, he'd still remained on guard. Not that Westley expected him to spill his guts then and there, but his rooted arrogance and skepticism still remained. Somethings he'd rather leave buried.
"Why don't you sit down for a bit? I can make dinner," she mused, cocking her head.
"I'm fine-" Adam muttered, his fingers traveling to his temples.
Unfortunately, Opal was having none of it.
"Adam; go sit down." Opal pointed to the couch, her cheeks puffed out.
He rubbed his eyes, a frustrated sigh escaping him. There was no point in arguing with her. It initially bothered him; being such a pushover for her orders. Though in time he came to realize maybe he did need someone to tell him to slow down once in a while- not that he'd ever admit it. Dragging himself to the couch, he slumped down, covering his face with his arm. Opal made her way to the kitchen, quietly rooting through the fridge.
While she was glad he seemed to be more open to cooperation, his temperament concerned her. After his sessions he just seemed so...exhausted. She didn't know his story. She didn't know what was going on in his head, but he was keeping whatever was bothering him to himself. As much as Opal wanted to tell him to just get it out of his system, the faunus had to work at his own pace. His life was full of doubt and misplaced trust; it was only natural for him to be guarded.
Adam had sunken down further into the cushions, staring tiredly at the wall. He just looked… drained. Regardless, he drug himself off the couch, deciding to lean against the island instead to watch Opal work. He needed something to take his mind off of today.
She moved quick around the kitchen, always knowing exactly what she needed and was looking for. He felt guilty not helping; though he knew he'd get an earful for trying.
"I was thinking a stir-fry; how's that sound?" Opal hummed, glancing over her shoulder at him.
"Don't care-" Adam paused as he was glared at, a frown on his face, "Sounds fine."
"Good, cause you're eating it anyways." She chirped, pulling a pan from the cupboard.
Adam offered an amused noise, rolling his eyes. He wondered why she even asked. Before long, dinner was on the table and Opal was chattering on about unimportant things; just as he liked it. She spoke with mindless talks and no worries in the world-
He envied that.
"Adam… are you sure you're alright?" She mused, standing at the second story stairs.
Adam could see the concern, but he brushed it off. His mood was nothing new, and she knew that. After every session he seemed to grow distant and tired, though that never stopped her from asking,
"For the last time I don't need you fawning over me like I'm some unruly child, Opal." He snapped, his tone lacking any true malice.
He needed to handle this on his own. He couldn't rely on her or Westley for the rest of his pathetic existence.
"But-"
"Good night." Adam cut her off, waving his hand as he made his way up the stairs.
A small grumble came from behind him, but Opal didn't press, mumbling a soft 'good night' in response. The feeling of relief overcame him as the door shut with a soft 'click', his shoulders slouching. While he now appreciated the concern Opal carried for him, it didn't make it any less exhausting.
Adam wanted to change. Wanted to trust again; but the idea horrified him. What if he was betrayed again? What if she didn't really care?
What if she threw him away?
His hands fisted in his hair as he shook his head, eyes squeezing shut. He just needed some sleep. He always had a tendency to spiral when he didn't stop himself. It would pass, just as everything else did.
At least that's what Kali would say.
Adam was quick to discard his shirt, replacing it with a loose tank top. Ever since the temperatures had gotten past below freezing, he finally was beginning to feel comfortable again. Shrugging off his jeans, he slipped into some loose sweatpants before sliding under the covers. His eyes slipped closed as he settled under the blankets;
He just needed some sleep.
--
Adam covered his head, the frigid winds slicing through him. Night after night, the same thing; the same damned nightmare. He couldn't bring himself to look up, he'd given up on that weeks ago. After all, what was the point in screaming at ghosts?
"You never wanted what was right for the faunus! You just wanted what was best for yourself!" Blake looked down at him as his grip tightened over his neck.
She was right.
"You're nothing but a coward. You think you're so big? I guess with that cheap semblance and fake personality of yours you don't have to worry about much." The blonde jeered from his left, a mocking tone lacing her words.
He didn't want to be hurt again. Adam could feel the scars littering his fingers brushing against his skin, tracing the ones that peeked out from his thin shirt. He didn't want to feel that pain again.
"Why couldn't you just listen, Adam!" His mother cried, shaking her head, "Your father would still be here! I would still be here!"
I'm so sorry, mum. I just wanted to keep you safe. I thought I could- but I was too weak. I've always been too weak.
He just wanted it to stop. He knew already, he understood. It was his fault, everything was his fault. Just make them go away, just make them be quiet. The feeling of snow piling on his form felt like he was being encased in ice, his body beginning to shake from the cold. The yelling and jeering and guilting; he couldn't hear it anymore. He just felt cold.
Felt alone.
"Adam!"
That voice. He knew that voice. Adam looked up, ignoring the forms around him as he looked around. He could see it- that small light in the snow storm. He knew that house, he knew that door. Opal was standing in the doorway, her silhouette framed by the warm light coming from the living room.Please don't leave. Please don't shut the door on me. Don't hate me. Not from you- please not from you.
"Adam!"
She had that face- concern, sympathy. She wasn't going to talk down to him- gods help him if there truly is any. Get him out of here, get him out of his nightmare. The sudden loud clunking of boots was jarring. The sound echoed in the seemingly endless expanse, confusing him even further. Why did that sound so familiar? Why did it sound so real even though it didn't make sense?
Adam trudged through the snow, regardless of not actually moving. Every step he took, it felt as if what he had now began to view as his small safe haven, would retreat away. And every bit he pushed forward, the steps grew louder. Why?
Then it finally came into view. The owner of that sound came into view behind Opal, stopping him in his tracks. That silhouette. That face; that face that had been burned into his mind for as long as he'd been alive. He could feel himself screaming at Opal, his lungs burning; but no voice came out. His hands darted to his throat, his voice gone. The man who took away his voice, his freedom, his family.
It's my fault. Don't take her. Don't take her away. It's not her fault.
Adam saw his hand raise, landing on Opal's shoulder.
Stop- stop it. Please it's my fault it's my fault-
"I own you."
The light behind them went from it's soft yellow glow to a sharp, blinding white. He saw Opal reach out towards him, the look of fear in her eyes as the door slammed shut.
"No!"
Adam shot up, sweat drenching his body. His eyes were wide as he held his head, sharp breaths leaving him. He felt dizzy. Everything was spinning. Westley had told him that he needed to ground himself; to remind himself that he was safe, that he wasn't in danger. But only one thing repeated in his mind,
Opal. Opal. Opal!
He pulled himself from his bed, moving out of the room on shaky legs. The back of his mind was yelling at him; what was he doing? Where was he going? His feet carried him down the stairs and before he knew it, Adam found himself outside Opal's room. He had to know she was okay. He couldn't think straight, he just had to know she was okay. His fingers found their way around the door knob as he peeked into the room, eyes already adjusted to the dark.
Be okay. Please be okay. Please be there.
Adam navigated his way around the couch, his steps carefully placed as he traversed the room. He'd only been in it a few times, but he was quick to remember the layout; paranoid habits die hard. He brought himself to the edge of her bed, fingers hesitating for a moment before pulling the canopy slightly open.
Opal was there, clinging to her pillow as she was curled up in the middle of the bed; her mouth was slightly agape, unruly hair spread across her pillow. He was quick to collapse next to the floor, resting his forehead against the side of the mattress.
She was safe. It was just a nightmare. Just a nightmare.
Weak breaths escaped him as tears prickled at the corners of his eyes, the feeling of exhaustion washing over him. Opal stirred next to him, eyes slightly cracking open. She shifted onto her elbow sleepily, her gaze tiredly traveling over to Adam's form before her eyes shot open. She couldn't stop the scream that escaped her as she scrambled backwards, her body going rigid,
"Adam!? What are you doing in my bedroom!?" She yelped, pulling her blanket up over her.
It wasn't as if she had been wearing anything revealing, but being seen in a rather unkempt state was still embarrassing. She watched him hesitantly look up before looking away, tucking his chin between his shoulders.
"Adam?" She mused, her brows knit with concern.
His body was drenched in sweat, his hair and clothes askew. The bags under his eyes were prominent even in the dark, the look of exhaustion dripping off of him. She wordlessly slid closer, slipping off the side of the bed onto the floor next to him. The faunus kept his eyes trained on the floor, legs sprawled out in front of him.
"Are you okay?" She murmured, placing her hand on his thigh.
Adam twitched a bit, letting out a shaky breath. His hand rested over hers, squeezing gently. He didn't trust himself to speak. He couldn't.
"Do you want me to call Westley?"
"No." He bit out quickly, his sharp tone coming out as more of a whisper than a demand.
"Okay okay," Opal hummed, rubbing his shoulder with her other hand, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Adam shook his head, glancing to her hesitantly. She offered a soft smile, giving his arm a light squeeze,
"It's gonna be okay."
They sat together for a good while, the dark room being filled with Opal's soft words of encouragement. She muffled a yawn that escaped her, one of her hands leaving him to rub her eyes.
"You should...sleep. I'll be fine." Adam murmured, rubbing his own eyes.
Opal offered a hum before getting up, setting on the edge of the bed,
"Do...You want to sleep in here?" She offered sheepishly, scratching the back of her neck.
Adam blinked slowly, before tensing. Opal jumped at his non-response, waving her hands in front of her,
"B-but if that makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to! I just thought I'd offer- if you didn't want to be alone you know-"
"Yes."
"Yes?" She chirped, blinking.
"I… would like that." Adam murmured, looking to the side.
Opal smiled, patting the spot next to her,
"Alright well, come on."
She slid to the other side of the bed, watching the faunus hesitantly sinking down onto the mattress. Adam laid on his back, being cautious of his horns in the process; the last thing he needed to do was poke her or tear the pillow open. Opal leaned over him to pull the canopy closed before not so gracefully flopping back to her original spot. A yawn escaped her, her hair sprawling out over the pillow. She offered a tired smile before pulling a blanket over herself,
"And Adam?"
"Hn."
"Don't be afraid to wake me up, okay?" Opal frowned, resting her hand on her cheek.
"I'm not a child. I can usually deal with it myself I just-" He paused, brows furrowing.
"Adam!"
Adam glanced away, shrugging loosely. He really didn't have an excuse. It… scared him. The jeering, the guilt, the hatred, he could take; but the thought of losing someone- losing someone to him. He felt her hand brush against his, his fingers twitching at the contact.
"I never said you were; but you don't have to do it alone."
His gaze shifted back to her, her eyes drooped with tiredness yet still having a small smile on her face. He carefully shifted to his side, pressing half his face into the pillow,
"I… know. It's just… difficult to adjust."
He felt as if he'd said that week after week. Why was it so hard? Why couldn't he just get over it? A small yawn escaped her as she rubbed her eyes, poking his cheek haphazardly. He'd let it slide; this time.
"Changing takes time… Don't feel bad that s' hard for you…" She mumbled out, giving him a last pat on the cheek, "You're stubborn as a bull after all…"
"Tch."
"Okaaaay… G'night Adam…" Opal mused tiredly, stretching out as she rolled onto her side.
Adam glanced at her back, his eyes softening. He could feel his body relaxing into the overly soft mattress. His eyes slipped closed, a breath of relief escaping him. Just the knowledge that someone else was there, the slight warmth that occupied the space;
"Good night, Opal..."
It, for once, made him feel safe.
