Mako's Message: Okay, so, I know the only really redeeming quality this story has is that it's updates pretty quickly, usually twice a week. So I'm sorry to have kept you all waiting for this one for so long. On the bright side, it is over 3,000 words so it goes beyond a long chapter and becomes and Epic chapter. This is by Precocious Crush standards of course.

A scene in this chapter was originally planned for much later in the story, but as I mentioned, I received divine inspiration which resulted in a drastic rewrite and it be being moved way up on the time table. There's another scene in here that kind of made it in just because I decided that this was as good a time as any for it. Both I've been wanting to write for several months now, so I hope you like them. You also get ten bonus... actually, let's make it something a little more real. Anyone who can correctly identify the Ass Pull in this chapter gets credit for two reviews when it comes time for the bonus chapter.

Also, in response to my question regarding if you'd like more info on the other super heroes, I've decided at the end of each chapter, starting with the next one, there will be a short bio of my original characters. So, who do you want to see first?


Fuck have I had a day.

My phone is full of voicemails and text messages, I totally embarrassed myself in front Dave, my chest, head, and leg hurt like a bitch. Especially my chest. My suit stinks of alcohol. I really need to start carrying guns on a regular basis and... fuck I don't even know.

I'm just gonna try to do this in order.

Okay, so, today was the last day of school. It was pretty much a big party. Which was cool. The teachers just wanted to know if you were there, after that you were pretty much free to be where ever you wanted. Some of the teachers just let the class do whatever, one teacher turned his classes into a quiz game, and had real prizes for the students who remembered the most about what they'd learned in the year. And not even just in his class. He asked questions from every subject. Another put a TV in his room and played movies the whole day. I wanted to spend the day with Dave, but I was never able to find him. I think Katie grabbed him took him into some hidey hole.

Since I couldn't find him I ended up going to classes with Angela and Jessi. Like I said, the teachers weren't really doing anything important so as long as you were there for roll call then you were free to go. Which was good because it wasn't any of MY teachers that were doing the cool stuff.

After the final bell rang that boy who'd wanted to eat with me caught up with me. I totally forgot about him, but then he is kind of forgettable. Ran up and caught me by the arm, and his face was all red and he just kind of stared at me for a second before saying, "If I give you my number, will you call me?"

He caught me completely off guard and I just sort of froze up for a second and finally said, "Uh...I guess." Yeah. I'm real eloquent, aren't I? So he gave me this piece of paper with his name (Dillon) and phone number. Not sure when I'll call or what we'd talk about, but I said I would so I guess I will. Eventually.

I napped when I came home so I'd be rested for our night out. Though, I've gotten into the habit of napping after school so I probably would have anyway.

So, Dave came and got me and we took the bus (oh right, Dave's Dad has been working nights again, so he doesn't have the car at night anymore.) over to the safehouse where we suited up and went out.

The night started out pretty much as usual.

Then we heard the screams.

We ran rowards them and saw people running through the streets, some on cell phones, other's just running as hard as they could. They all seemed to be running from this bar so we burst into it to, ya know, save the day and shit.

Not our best move.

There had to be at least a dozen of the fuckers in there. All in some sort of costume. Though calling some of what they were wearing costumes is being generous. I swear there was this one guy who just had a mask tied over his eyes. He was kinda old an looked like he'd been at this for longer than the rest of them had been alive so he probably just didn't care. He moved pretty well for a fat ass though. I guess that's how he's lived this long.

The rest of them though... looked like they were trying way too hard to be scary motherfuckers(skull masks, spikes on the clothes and other bullshit). They were just lounging all over the fucking place. There were a few guys still at the bar harassing the bartender, some guys at a jukebox who'd just put on this kick as- er... fucking awesome song. Doubt I'll ever get to be in a fight with a soundtrack I couldn't have asked for a better one.

There were a few others playing pool, and there was this one black guy, who was thin but ripped with a rainbow bandana on who had his arm around this white guy who was almost pretty and looked absolutely fucking terrified. It would have been funny if I wasn't sure the guy was gonna get raped later.

I had about three seconds to take all this in before the room went dead silent and they all started getting to their feet. They started picking up their weapons; baseball bats with nails in them, machetes, broken pool cues, whatever. No guns though. We were lucky there. I probably could have handled it if it was just me and I had a gun, but Dave is a bigger target and nowhere near as agile as I am, and the only long range weapons between us were my throwing knives.

Dave and I both pulled our weapons and I drew my swords immediately. Dave looked at them out of the corner of his eye for a split second, and I know he wasn't questioning my going straight for them, he was wishing he had some. Hmm. That's an idea actually.

So they were all standing there, looking at us, and they looked excited. Like they'd been hoping we'd show up. The guy with the rainbow bandana spoke up, "Hey, before you kill him, I want to a piece of Kick-Ass."

Dave flinched, just a little, in shock. Then somebody else from the back said, "Don't kill Hit Girl either, not before I get a turn with her."

I didn't show any sort of reaction, I just settled deeper into my stance, but my heart started racing.

And that's when HE walked in.

Chris D'A-fucking-mico came walking out of a hall in the back, fastening his pants up while a girl crawled away crying. He looked at us and said, "Ah, I was wondering why it got so quiet all of a sudden." He looked at me and said "Glad to see you, I missed you back at Times Square," and then he made a little "shooting a gun" motion with his hand. "But seriously, thanks for coming by," he walked over to two of his goonies and put his arms around their shoulders, "My boys here just got out of school so I wanted to throw them a party, and it just wouldn't be a party without you two." Then the little bitch walked back to a table that had a bottle of something on it, sat down, poured a glass, put his feet on the table, leaned back and said, "Well? What're you waiting for? KILL `EM!"

And that's when they all jumped on us.

We were able to hold them off for a few seconds, but with that many of them it really was inevitable. I mean, we didn't even really have a range advantage when they were coming at us with baseball bats, pool cues and machetes.

Dave was handling himself pretty well at first, but all his moves where defensive. He couldn't get any counterattacks in. I was able to slash a few of them, but I only put one of them down before someone rushed in and tackled me from the side and I kinda lost track of Dave after that. I dropped one of my swords, but I was able to use the other one to stab the guy who tackkled me and push myself out from under him at the same time.

That was when I got kicked in the head. I rolled with it and it STILL fucking hurt like hell. But I was back on my feet and I started pulling knives from my belt and whipping them into people. I got a couple guys in the neck and chest, even got one guy right between the eyes, but most of them weren't fatal. A few of them weren't even slowed down by them.

But I had some room now and was able to take more evasive maneuvers. One of the fuckers came at me with my own sword. I side-stepped his swipe and slashed his stomach open. Almost all the way to the spine. It felt really good.

Fat fuck took up a position behind the bar throwing bottles at us. That made things a little more difficult, but it wasn't something we couldn't handle. My favorite part of the night was when I heard Chris yell, "Oh COME ON! There's like, a DOZEN of you!"And for a minute there, I was pretty sure we had this in the bag.

That's when they flipped a pool table onto me.

Nobody immediately jumped on me, so I was able to see that Rainbow Bright had grabbed Dave and, I think, three guys were pounding on him. I was almost out from under it when Chris stepped in front of me and put a gun in my face.

I was absolutely sure that I was about to die and then "BANG!" he yells.

I swear to god my heart stopped for a second. And then he does it again, " BANG! Bang bang bang bang fucking bang!" and then he crouches down in front of me and says, "That was just to make sure you know I could've. But no, that'd be too easy wouldn't it?" and he started pushing the gun into my temple. "No. I don't want you to die thinking, 'Oh, if only I could move! If only I was armed!' uh-uh. You're going to die completely and utterly defeated, with no hope left, you little bitch." and then he stood up and walked away, "Get that off her," he says, "And give her back her swords."

I really couldn't believe he was doing this. But there he was, standing on the other side of the room from me with a katana in his hand and someone kicked my swords over to me.

Everyone that was still able to stand had moved against the walls, the guy holding onto Dave kept a hold on him but they'd stopped beating him, Fat Fuck pulled out a bottle of jack and poured himself a glass, and I picked up my swords and faced down the last, suicidally over confident, D'Amico.

Only it turns out he wasn't really that over confident.

I don't know who he found to teach him, but he honestly wasn't that bad. And if I'd just taken him seriously from the beginning, things might have turned out differently, but no. I started by toying with him.

It wasn't even five seconds into the fight before I realized that I might have underestimated him a little, and another five seconds later he had me on the defensive. Once I realized he was actually a threat, I was able to treat him like one and things started to turn in my favor, but he was still on the offensive and he managed to push me back and forced me to block and put me into a blade lock.

He kept pushing me back and my footing was all wrong and I had no leverage so I tried to slide my foot out to really brace myself so I could push back and then...

My fucking leg gave out on me.

When it was just my own weight on my leg, I'd been able to catch myself with barely a hitch, but with him pushing on me I went straight to the floor and got a boot to the head again. "HA!" he yelled as he stood over me, "Ya see that? I'm not some push over anymore!" And he raised his sword up and says, "And you're about to die."

I'll only admit it here, but started to close my eyes and look away when suddenly there were people yelling and I heard Chris grunt and looked up to see Dave had gotten free and body checked him to the floor.

Dave stood over him, doing that awesome, "I'm beat the fuck up but does it look like it's stopping me?" thing only he can pull off since he can't feel most of it and says, "Neither am I!" and Chris slashes at him as he gets back up and Dave blocks it with his baton and swings at him with his other. Chris ducks under it and tried to punch Dave in the face but he's to far away and Dave avoids it easily and comes at him again. Chris jumps back and swipes at him and Dave raises a baton to stop it, but it slices through it, but it was deflected enough to not hit him. Chris tries to take another swing at him, but I was back on my feet and ran in and gave him a double boot kick to the chest.

He hit the floor hard and his sword slid across the floor. We moved in for the kill and he back pedaled like mad and yelled, "Mother!"

At the time I thought it was funny, and pathetic, that he was crying for his mommy, but thinking back on it didn't have the sort of high pitched, shrill, panic you'd expect it to have. He was yelling an order.

So, this fucking amazon comes out of this back room, and some guy tries to run past her but she just shoved him back inside and then shut the door. She says, "Can't you take care of anything yourself?" and pulls out a gun, points it right at me and opens fire.

Fucking EVERYBODY dove for cover.

She stayed focused on me and when I tried to throw a knife at her, she hit me three times in the chest. Without a doubt it was worse than getting the table flipped onto me... might have been worse than getting shot out of that window( Not sure. Falling twelve feet flat onto your back fucking hurts.), but it knocked the wind out of me completely. She walked up and pointed the gun straight at my head and just before she pulled the trigger Dave hit her in the back with a bar stool. She stumbled forward and the bullet took a chunk out of the floor about a foot from my head but she didn't go down. Hell, she managed to grab another bar stool, turn and hurl it back at Dave.

He dodged it and I kicked her in the back of the knee. She didn't go down much, but it was enough for me to boot her in the face. She rolled on to her back and emptied her gun at me but missed every shot. Dave threw another bar stool at her, but she put her arm up just kinda brushed it off. She was a tough bitch, I'll give her that, but thanks to Dave's chair attack I was able to get my sword, flip back, and stab her through the throat.

Thankfully, everyone else seemed to take the opportunity to leave. Not sure why, but I'm glad they did. After all that I don't know if I had enough in me to finish the rest of them. I mean I was limping as it was.

I managed to find all my knives before we heard the first police sirens. The song they'd just put on when we burst in was just wrapping up so the whole thing couldn't have taken much more than three minutes so I guess their response time was actually pretty good. Funny how things can seem to go on forever but it's really only a few seconds.

On our way back to the safe house Dave asked how Chris had managed to get the better of me. I told him and I would have been fine but my leg gave out on me. He stopped and looked at me and said, "You're leg? You mean like, THAT leg?" he asked pointing at the one that'd been giving me trouble. I knew exactly what he was about to say, but before I could explain anything he he flipped out on me. "You mean you've been going out like this and your leg is still hurting? How could you do that? Are you trying to get yourself killed?" I insisted it was nothing, that my leg hasn't given me any problems in months. And it doesn't hurt. It just... pinches a little. Occasionally. It's not worth mentioning. Really.

Dave finally just told me not to hide stuff like that since he couldn't stand to see me get hurt again.

When we finally got back to the safe house Dave pulled off his mask and sat on the couch as soon as we were through the door, and he just sat there staring at his batons. One had huge chunks taken out of it and the other was sliced completely in half.

He looked at me and I just shrugged and told him he needed an upgrade anyway.

I went into the bathroom to check on my own injuries. I had some scratches on my face from shrapnel from broken bottles but otherwise I got away with just some bruises. Some pretty wicked ones on my chest, but still just bruises.

Though, when I pulled my t-shirt back down I noticed I was kind of... uhm... poking through. I smoothed it down and looked at myself from the side and I definitely had something going there. I wasn't really thinking, I was...too fascinated. I don't know what made me do it, but I called Dave over while I was looking at myself in the mirror and asked, "Do you think I should start wearing a bra?"

It wasn't until I saw Dave's face just turn completely mortified that I realized that I had just asked him to look at my barely there boobs. My face turned completely and utterly red. I had never been so embarrassed in my life.

Dave stammered out, "I'm just gonna change in the other room," while I pulled my suit top back on and said "You do that."

I couldn't believe that'd just happened. I mean, I've been wanting him to look at me for months, and then, I just fucking ask him to look at me without even thinking about it, and the first thing I do is freak out and put my jacket back on. And Dave looked just as freaked out as I did.

Ugh that is not how I wanted it to go. I want him to WANT to look at me. I don't want him to be fucking horrified at the idea. When we'd gotten there I was actually hoping Dave would want to crash there so we could spend the night together, but after that even I was too embarrassed to spend the night with him.

I couldn't even face him to get my change of clothes so I pulled some old sweat pants on over my suit, and wore the top like a normal jacket to go home.

This is not how I wanted to start the summer.