Mako's Message: ...I...just felt this chapter had to be done. I don't even know if it worksbut like I said, I felt I had to do it. ... I have lot's more I want to say, but nothing I should say. So, enjoy!
Dave looked like he was out cold when I finally went to bed. I was careful not to wake him when I crawled into the bed, or when I slipped myself into his arms. It was nice to just feel his arms around me, but then he wrapped them tighter around me, and it was like electricity coursing through me. He pulled me against him pressed his face into my hair, and I just couldn't breathe.
I thought he was asleep, and didn't know what he was doing, or maybe that he thought I was Katie. My heart started racing with excitement at the thought of what he might do if he was too tired to remember where he was or who he was with, but then he spoke.
His voice was slow, thick and raspy with exhaustion, and was barely a whisper. If he hadn't been speaking right next to my ear I don't think I'd have heard him at all He said, "Escalation. That's the problem. We go out there, knowing these guys are going to try and kill us, and that's our edge. It's what keeps us on our toes. We know that if we loose, we're dead. They don't have that. I don't want to give it to them. As long as they think that losing to us means jail, they wont fight as hard as we will.
"I know what you're going to say, that they're not afraid of jail. It doesn't stop them from committing crimes in the first place. That we can be the deterrent. That they'll fear us.
"But they can fear can us without us killing them. We can make them wish the cops had gotten them. But if we have to... If we have to. If it becomes us or them. Or if they've done something horrible. Then we can kill them. They'll be scared of us, and they'll be scared to to fight us, because we just might. It'll be safer for us.
"I don't want you to get hurt."
I rolled over in his arms so I was facing him. I said, "Dave, I" and I don't know what I was going to say after that, but Dave said, "Go to sleep." and kissed me on the forehead. Then his hold on me loosened, and I lay there, wanting to say something but completely at a loss for words.
Finally, I came out here.
I still don't know what to say to that.
