She is taunting me, laughing while I run on the beach to chase her. We are still on the beach house in North Carolina and she is trying to run in nothing but my shirt. I laugh with her, telling her I'am going to catch her, lift her up and tuck her down with my body, fuck her on the beach.

And suddenly she disappears, only her shrieks to be heard from the far distance. I try to find her, but I cannot reach her.

"Damn it, Eva. Come back to me." I whisper desperately, looking for her, but she doesn't reply me. She is still shouting my name.

I look behind to find a big dark room. The sound of the waves are swallowed by her cries. She is naked, tied up with ropes, her voluptuous body quivering as she struggles to escape. I watch her but I cannot move my fucking limbs. I cannot move forward to loose the ropes.

Suddenly I hear a sharp laugh. "You were trying to take advantage of me, Cross. Now see how I will take advantage of her."

"Leave her! Dammit, just leave her! Take me!" but he doesn't listen to me.

He moves toward her, running his hands over her body. She shudders but is helpless, looking at me for help. I try to move, but I am captured by two strong hands. They are very strong, I cannot escape it's hold.

Nathan licks Eva's breast, biting her nipple that she cries with pain. It excites him. He feasts on her breast while her hand goes to her back, his fingers digging in her flesh, trying to open her from the behind. He turns her and pushes himself inside her. She cries, asking me to stop him.

I try to move again, but the strong hands stop my movements. I hear panting behind me. Whoever he is, he is aroused by the pain Nathan is inflecting on Eva. He grinds his hips against mine, shoving his cock inside me with a single push, his hand gripping my cock in his hands as he moves. His fingers dig in my flesh.

I am writhing in pain, trying to stop him from making me come. Trying to stop him. But he is too strong. I looked at Eva and she is sick of me, her sobbing stops as she bears the pain.

"Don't!" I plead but it doesn't matter. She doesn't want someone who cannot protect her. She is sick of me. She hates me.

I woke up with a cry, my cheeks wet with the tears. I was too stiff by sleeping in the chair. My breathing too harsh.

I crawled to the toilet, emptying my guts as the horrifying dreams still lingered behind my eyes.

I was too desperate to call Eva, check on her. I had even dialled her number but it was her safety that kept me from calling her.

I showered, washing away the dream with hot water. But it was not possible. Just a few days ago we had showered together in my bathroom, enjoying each other, fucking each other.

Outside, the sky was glowing with colours of dawn, the city coming back to life.

I made myself some coffee, hating very second I spend alone in the penthouse without Eva. Just like me, she filled the emptiness in the penthouse with her presence.

Angus called me at seven. "She is leaving the hospital now. She hauled a cab, but I am right behind her."

"Okay. Pick her up at quarter to nine for Crossfire. She wouldn't want to be late today for work."

He agreed and again assured me that I shouldn't worry about her.

I worked quickly, shifting through some emails when my phone again rang.

I saw the name and answered, appreciating the security that they notified me when Eva reached the building.

I worked swiftly then, eager to reach Crossfire to see myself her entering the building. Just to get a glimpse of her.

I was early at office, but wasn't alone. A few employees had come early, too, to start their day early just like me. I appreciated that and moved in my office. Scott wasn't there yet but I knew what was for me at the schedule so I prepared myself for the day.

It was just half past eight when my office phone rang. It was the security again.

I hoped it wasn't any bad news. "Yes?"

"Miss Tramell just left the enterprises."

"What?" It wasn't even half past eight, then why so early.

The shrieks I heard in my dream echoed in my ears this time.

I called Angus with the office phone, meanwhile talking with the security. "Did she take a cab or walked?" when he told me he didn't know, I thanked him and waited for Angus to pick up.

He picked the phone in two rings. "Where are you? Why aren't you with Eva?"

"I am two blocks away. I thought I saw Nathan, so I wanted to make sure, and if he saw me following her..."

"She just left." I called Eva with my phone while I filled him with what I knew.

"I'll find her."

"I'm calling her, till then you try and if you spot her, tell me."

She picked up my phone in four rings. "Hey stranger."

I wanted to savour her voice, but the situation wasn't in my favour.

"Where the hell are you?" I snapped, too impatient.

"I'm on my way to work." She whispered. Sharp sounds of horns and vehicles and people were buzzing in the background.

"Why?" Why couldn't she wait for me or Angus or any fucking thing.

I told Angus to get her, then to her, "Are you in a cab?"

"I'm walking. Jeez. Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or what?"

Of course I woke grumpy this morning. My nightmare and the fact that she wasn't with me made sure of that.

"You should have waited to be picked up." Even I couldn't recognise my voice.

"I didn't hear from you, and I didn't want to be late after missing work yesterday."

She doesn't hear from me and she walks without telling me. "You could've called me instead of just taking off." I told her, realising I sounded angry.

She turned angry, too, snapping at me, "The last time I called, you were too busy to give me more than a minute of your time."

How can she complain that? "I've got things to take care of, Eva. Give me a break."

"Sure thing. How about now?" the call ended.

I called her again. She didn't pick it up. "Dammit Eva, pick up the goddamn phone!"

After a couple minutes the office phone rang, Angus's voice coming from the speaker, "I see her."

"Make sure she sits with you."

"On it."

On the other hand, Eva still refused to pick up my phone.

I waited for one minute, calling her again and again. She shut it off.

Why was she so fucking stubborn?!

I called Angus. "Do you have her?"

"Yes, sir."

I killed, sighing heavily. I asked Raúl to pick up the few dresses I had ordered and take them directly to my new apartment, officially starting my day.

·

·

·

I received a call from the security of the building at noon. "Brett Kline has come to meet Miss Tramell."

When will he leave us behind. Eva had said it again and again that he was mistake, then and now. And now he wants to have her back. Wasn't one problem enough at a time? And what does he want to talk with her about. About getting back with her? About getting back at me?

"Thank you. Please do inform me if she goes with him." Because I knew she would agree to meet him. She would want to clear things out with him.

Wish I was with her when she talk with him.

Wish she wouldn't agree to go down.

I called Angus and filled him in. "Please Angus, don't let anything like morning happen again. I want her in front of you each fucking minute, no matter what. Follow her to the washroom if you must, but don't let her out of your sight."

"It won't happen again, Mr. Cross. I'll make sure of that."

"Okay."

As I had feared, she went down to meet him. But that wasn't enough for him. She agreed on lunch with him.

I got a text from Angus. I am outside the restaurant.

Text me when she is ready to go and when she reaches Crossfire. I texted back.

I was constantly looking at the camera for any sign of her that it wasn't necessary when the security called me to inform that Eva was there. I already knew that. I had already asked an employee of mine to go in the elevator and use the key, making sure Eva reaches the top floor first.

I was waiting by the elevator. My receptionist, Emma, was humouring me with privacy as I waited for the car to reach the top floor. When it did, the doors opened to show a dozen shock-faced people, and there was she, a scowl yet worry on her face. She knew I knew she went out with Brett. It was visible on her face.

I waited, as patient as I could be, that she'll get out of the car, but when she didn't, I took the step and rugged her out with her elbow.

The moment our skin touched, I was instantly aware of how hard I was, acutely aware of how I feel when she in in my arms, how we moved together. I missed those moments when I loved her, when I fucked her hard, when I jerked inside her.

But the moment was as easily ruined as it came as she struggled to escape, her scowl deepening. But I didn't let her go, not until the doors were closed and the car was descending.

"Your behaviour today has been appalling," I said in a growl.

"My behaviour? What about yours?"

She didn't wait. She turned and started tapping at the elevator button. It wouldn't stay lit, thanks to the courtesy of the key.

I inhaled angrily. Why was she making it too hard? "I'm talking to you, Eva."

"Really?" She finally turned around, her eyes very angry, turning me on. "Funny how that doesn't lead to me actually learning anything—like about you going out with Corinne last night."

I was waiting for her to pull on the Corinne card, waiting unwillingly to put distance between us. That was the only way I could ensure her safety.

"You shouldn't be snooping online about me," I countered. "You're deliberately trying to find something to get upset about."

"So your actions aren't the problem?" She snapped, her voice faltering. "Just my finding out about them is?"

How her anger was turning me on! How it hurt me that I couldn't fuck her. How worse it was that I couldn't soothe her, couldn't touch her.

I crossed my arms, trying to keep my impenetrable mask of indifference on, as it was never possible in her presence. "You need to trust me, Eva."

Her scowl grew, her jaw tight. "You're making that impossible! Why didn't you tell me that you were going out to dinner with Corinne?"

"Because I knew you wouldn't like it."

"But you did it anyway."

"And you went out with Brett Kline knowing I wouldn't like it." Of all the things she could do to me, she chose of using Brett Kline to get back at me.

"What did I tell you? You're setting the precedent for how I handle my exes."

"Tit for tat? What a remarkable show of maturity."

She took an unsteady step back, her scowl leaving from her face, her eyes becoming teary.

When she spoke again, he voice was very small. "You're making me hate you. Stop it."

My mask fell out of my face, her voice unnerving me. I had never tried more hard than ever to make her love me, to keep her. And it felt like a punch in my gut that she was starting to hate me. I was hoping for that only, since yesterday when I formulated the plan, yet it took my breath away that she wasn't feeling my love for her. I wanted to kiss her scowl away, touch my fingers to her cheeks, to make her feel connected, that I loved her...

Control yourself, Cross. You can't afford to make any mistake. The penalty for a mistake is far more greater than the reward itself.

I straightened my shoulders again, letting the scowl again takeover my mouth.

Her gaze dropped, her voice even low than a whisper. "I can't be around you right now. Let me go." She murmured very softly that my heart broke. My hand almost made it to list her chin, to press my lips against hers and turn her scowl into a smile. I barely controlled by hands.

I couldn't keep the anguish on my face. So I moved to the elevator, calling it, hiding my face from hers.

"Angus will pick you up every morning." It was magic my voice didn't betray me. "Wait for him. And I prefer that you eat lunch at your desk. It's best if you're not running around right now."

"Why not?"

I whispered softly yet hard enough for her to get my words in her brain. "I have a lot of things on my plate at the moment —"

"Like dinner with Corinne?"

"— and I can't be worrying about you. I don't think I'm asking too much."

Only if she could take me seriously.

"Gideon, why won't you talk to me?" I felt her move and her hand rested on my shoulder. Christ! What her touch did to me. It ignited all my senses. It was a struggle for me to not let her go, to press her against the wall right here and press myself into her.

But I couldn't be weak now.

I shrugged so harshly her hand fell down.

I heard her unsteady breath. "Tell me what's going on. If there's a problem —"

"The problem is that I don't know where the hell you are half the time!" I snapped, wearing my impeccable mask again to shield my vulnerability from her. I cannot show her that I am hurting. I turned around and scowled at her, the elevator door opening with a ding. "Your roommate is in the hospital. Your dad is coming to visit. Just... focus on that."

She didn't say anything. But she didn't have to. Her eyes turned glassy, showing me how much I had hurt her with my words and actions.

The doors started to close, and I couldn't hold my face together. I didn't have the energy anymore. Without my permission, the words "Trust me, Eva." fell out of my mouth.

I stared at the closed elevator door for one more moment, unable to move. The urge to go down to her and make her love me again was so powerful, I almost did it. Almost.

Instead I moved to my office, frosting my glass, and fell down on my chair. The photo of Eva blowing kisses seemed to mock me. I took the frame, running my fingers over her face, and my eyes watered.

You can't step back, Gideon! I ordered myself. I have to do this to be with her, to keep her safe. To keep her with me, I have to break her, break her trust in me, make her doubt if I care about her.

Scott's voice came through the phone, informing me about the meeting I had.

I restored my façade and resumed the day as if nothing happened.

·

·

·

I missed my appointment with Dr. Peterson along with my martial arts. But I couldn't talk with him right now, when I had only one day left for all the shifting. The hospital had contacted today to let me know that Cary was ready to be discharged tomorrow. I arranged for his shifting, also asking for the nurse whom I met in hospital to take care of Cary. This was the least I could do for Cary after what he had to suffer, due to Nathan torturing me. Raúl coordinated my every move, making sure I have whatever I need over there. I packed a few boxes of my and Eva's clothes, some things I may need there too, and he helped me move them.

The phone rang.

It was Eva. I was surprised to hear from her, but all the same delighted too. But it concerned me why did she call now. She should be in hospital. Angus had already reported me with her whereabouts. Unless it had something to do with Cary...

"Hang on." I told her and went in my home office where there was the least disturbance. "Is everything all right?"

"No." There was a brief pause, and then, "I miss you."

Jesus! She had the power to make me go week on my knees. Even after how I behaved with her this noon, she still missed me, still wanted to hear from me. How I missed her. I looked at the photos of us, focusing on the ones where we were together and happy. I realized I too wanted to hear from her. I wanted to be with her, hold her in my arms. Just like we were at the beach this weekend. I wanted that back.

But the movements in the other room reminded me again why I can't have the luxury of her. "I... I can't talk now, Eva."

"Why not?" There was no anger in her voice. It was desperate. "I don't understand why you're acting so cold to me. Did I do something wrong?" Raúl came and asked me about the photos in this room. I quickly told him to get the same pictures like these ones, I'll arrange them in the apartment. "Gideon? Who's at your place with you?"

"I have to go." I murmured softly, not having it in me to be rude with her again.

"Tell me who's there with you!" She snapped, her breathing faltering. She was panicking.

But I cannot give her the answers to that now. Instead I told her, "Angus will be at the hospital at seven. Get some sleep, Eva."

I ended the call, once again looking at the pictures of us, hating that Nathan took that from us.

·

·

·

That night I slept in the apartment at Upper West Side. Raúl and I worked till two in the morning and finally we managed to set up the furniture.

The furniture here was almost the exact copy of hers at her place, but with a simple touch of my style. It was her coffee table and end table, which were accompanied by my sofa and side chairs. Her entertainment unit, holding my novelties and articles. Our photos decorating the unit and wall. The windows provided a lower view than of Fifth Avenue, but it was almost similar to mine. The drape that shut the works out were hers, but the lambs that glowed in the room were mine. The outlook was perfect: a perfect mixing of our houses, our lives, our styles.

The kitchen island and the breakfast bar and chairs were the same, but all the three rooms were furnished with contemporary yet elegant things. The bed, chairs, drapes, walk-in closets that were graced with our clothes, everything depicted the mixed style of our preferences. Here, everything was us.

Not only the furniture, but even the closet were us. I'd prepared her closet, too, filling it in with her everyday use products, footwear and clothes—gowns, shirts, skirts, robes, lingerie, stockings, every thing—that I thought she would love. Raúl had picked them up after I placed my order in the name of Raúl.

I wanted this place to be ours, a place which blended our personalities together—her modern traditional designs with my taste of old-world elegance, where her closet melded into mine. And so far it was, except that she wasn't with me to make this house home. She didn't even know about me living here.

I slept in the master bedroom, exhausted. All the tension of the day and the work that I did made my so tired that I was asleep the moment I went to bed.

·

·

·

Wednesday morning started with a dreamless night, but its tranquillity was disturbed when I got a voicemail from Corinne. She wanted to meet me. I left the offer in waiting, knowing that I would need the offer to run it in Eva's face, and she can be an alliance for tomorrow. I didn't reply her, wanting to think clearly before I make any decision.

Every action was to be precise. No loopholes, no mistakes.

Angus dropped Eva to Crossfire, never letting her out of the sight. And as of the part of me living at my apartment at Fifth Avenue rather than at Upper side, Angus was to drive in and out of the building, creating the impression I still lived here, while Raul was to pick me up from here in the Mercedes directly from the garage, generating the impression that the new occupant moved in and out for work.

From my office, I made a few calls to the bank to get out two million dollars. If Nathan was keeping an eye on me, he had to be known that I was making the arrangements. I had already withdrew two million yesterday and transferred it in my personal account.

I have to be thorough if I want to out run that insane bastard. He was having the upper card now but I wanted that card with me so I have to be very sure of my every move.

I wasn't surprised when the security called me to let me know that Eva had left, but I was disappointed. Why did she never listen to me? Was it so hard to not go out for an hour and enjoying lunch at the office itself?

I called Angus but he was already behind her, trying to be invisible but keeping an eye on her.

When the security called to let me know that Eva was back, I barely managed to stay put for two minutes before I called her.

"Mark Garrity's office, Eva —"

"Why is it so damn difficult for you to follow orders?" I snapped at her, my voice too angry.

There was no sound for a minute but I could here her shaky breath that I knew she was still present.

I couldn't handle the silence more. "Eva?" Please, for my goddamn sanity, say something!

"What do you want from me, Gideon?" She whispered, her voice too small.

I leaned my head against the cool desk, hating that I brought the unease in her voice.

Behind my closed eyes, I could see the torn face of Eva I had seen yesterday at noon. It had been one whole fucking day since I had seen her. Two goddamn days since I had touched her, three days since I had been with her.

But I swallowed my lump and said what needed to be said, reflecting none of my actual thoughts to her. "Cary will be moved to your apartment this afternoon under the supervision of his doctor and a private nurse. He should be there when you get home."

"Thank you." She spoke, her voice hoarse.

My head still pressed to the cool glass, I savoured the silence, knowing I couldn't hurt her now when I wasn't saying anything.

How I loathed myself to bring this hoarseness, this much desperation in her voice! How I hated myself to tear her heart into million pieces each day!

I hated myself that my father never thought about me before ending his life. I had always hated my eyes, my face, which were so similar to my mother's, hated that she never trusted me, never believed me. I hated myself that I was never enough for my parents. But Eva had loved me, believed and trusted me even when she has no clue what had happened to me. She didn't love my face or my body or my money, she loved me.

Being with her was my biggest price, my greatest achievement of my life. She was my life. She had been the one who had fallen on her ass when we first met, but I was the one whose whole life had been stirred. I wasn't just hurting her, I was hurting myself, cutting myself into million pieces as I deliberately sent Eva away from me.

She is the most worthy possession I ever had, but I have to give away her love now. I have to distance myself from her now.

The silence between us stretched.

I listened to her hitched breathing, saying the things I knew I would—could—never say her. I am very sorry, Angel. Very sorry. I don't want to push you, but I have to. For you. For us. In order to save you, I have to cut you apart from me. Please don't leave me. Please don't hate me.

"Are we done?"

My head snapped back at the abrupt question.

There was an edge to her voice. I didn't miss the double meaning behind the words, knowing how hard I was making it for her to love me now, to wait for me, to trust me.

My mind roared, " No!" but at the same time I wanted to say yes, end the hell for her. What was the point of hurting her again and again. I wanted this to be over, to prove Nathan that we weren't together anymore. This was the best time to say it.

But I couldn't say the word, couldn't get it past my throat.

Instead I said, "Angus will give you a ride home."

"Good-bye, Gideon." She ended the call.

Her words cut my heart into million pieces. She was giving me chance to end it, to end the whole fucking pain I was inflicting on her.

I tried to convince myself that I was not selfish. I didn't want to end it now because I wasn't a coward to end things on a phone call. And her father was coming—I don't want to miss a chance to meet him.

But in my heart I knew if I did end it now, I will never be able to get her again. And I was way more selfish than that. I wanted her to end the things. To let her choice be the final one. Now that I have created the rift between us, and the media was already getting suspicious why I am no more seen with Eva, instead with Corinne, they will get more suspicious and it will have the opposite effect.. If I got with her soon, it will create a frenzy and Nathan just wanted an excuse to get to me and her.

No! I cannot go to her

But I won't end things with her.

I fisted my right hand, securing the promise ring she had given me.

It has to be her choice. Only hers.

·

·

·

I stayed at my new apartment at Upper West Side that night. I wanted to be close to Eva, to reach her immediately in case there is an emergency.

The view from this side of Manhattan was so similar to mine yet so different. The buildings were not that sky touching as they were on my side of Manhattan. The Central Park provided the similar serenity like it always did, but the view was all so different. Near to the ground and more immediate than one I was used to. I could feel how Eva saw New York. Everything was new. The lights, the buildings, the park, every fucking thing. I can't wait to share this view with her. I thought as I moved away from the window.

I forced myself to eat the dinner I had brought at the island but I found myself nibbling at it, missing those times when we ate dinner together. Remembering those days. I never finished it now a days, not finding the appetite to do so. Even in this house where Eva had never been, I kept imagining what would it be like to have her here, sneaking around. Coming home to her...

Remembering the times in the last few weeks when I had gotten to know her, know myself, I started arranging her photos, our photos on the wall.

It was very hard thinking all those times, all those moments that I had spent with her, with her, inside her...

I looked at the photos of us on the wall—both of us on the street in gym clothes; at Bryant Park; at the charity events; at Tableau One; outside Crossfire; outside my penthouse; she looking insatiable even when she was sleeping, her skin lit only by the candle light.

Then I hung the large sized picture of her blowing kisses against the wall. This was the same picture that I had at my work desk at office, her first gift to me. She not only blew me kisses, she gave me strength to go along, to do the right thing.

I sat a while doing nothing, just looking at her. Savouring the warmth that I always felt when I thought about her. My fingers moved restlessly, wanting to touch her soft skin, my lips remembered hers, her body. My dick ached for her touch, for her tongue. I didn't jerk myself off, not wanting to waste any drop if it wasn't going inside her.

·

·

·

I shifted through the voicemails after my shower. I had changed in my sweats only, going commando. I wasn't feeling sleepy so I decided to do some work to get my mind off Eva and what I was going to do tomorrow.

I was surprised when I saw messages from Chris, Cary, and my Mom.

Chris had said, "I heard about the fight you had with Brett Kline. Christopher just told me. I hope you aren't hurt. Call me. I have to discuss about the next tour of Six-Ninths with you."

Chris was my stepfather, but we both had a relationship of business more than a personal one. He never talked to me about what had happened to me. Even he didn't believe me. So I had asked him not to pretend to love me. It had been like than since that day. Even till date we mostly have conversations about the Vidal Records, and nothing more. He don't want to know about my personal life and I don't want to intrude in his. I was more comfortable that way.

I texted him, I'll schedule a meeting soon. How about Friday?

Next I went through Cary's call. His was simple, thanking me for arranging his stay at home. For the nurse and porn videos as well. I was glad he didn't ask me anything about Eva, as I didn't have any answers for him. And I knew how protective he was about her, just like a big brother.

I listened to my mother's message then. She'd said, " Corinne called me today. She was happy that you were spending time with her. I saw your pics with her. I'm glad you're thinking about her and accepting her again. How about we arrange for a lunch—you, me and Corinne. Call me."

She could be so blind-sighted sometimes. Always believing in what she thought was right. She had been ecstatic when I agreed to marry Corinne, and angry with me when Corinne had left me and I didn't go behind her to bring her back. She was never ready to accept that I wasn't happy with her. I was eager for the day when she would see me as me and not Geoffrey Cross's son, when she would love me enough again to believe me.

I didn't answer the voice message.

I busied myself in work then. It as the only escape where I had my complete control. I worked till my eyes burned with fatigue.

I shifted through the emails at eleven then, surprised to get one from Eva. It read:

My thoughts—uncensored.

First of all, thank you for planning the most perfect weekend. It was, by far, the most amazing weekend I ever had. Not only because you were with me, but because you have no idea what it meant to me. I had never seen you so happy, so relaxed, and I am glad I got to see you that way.

I had no idea what a weekend would, could do, to us. I feel more connected to you, more in love with you than ever. I feel like this weekend was the major turning point of our relationship. Like we had crossed a hurdle.

This is what made the rest of these days so hard. It feels like after a big turning point, we are backtracking. And that is what makes it so hard to bear—the backside after the most perfect weekend I spent with you.

After I had your full attention, I cannot go with not able to touch you, not seeing you for days. I cannot work with you ignoring me, sounding distant from me, being away from me. I hate that you haven't talked properly with me since then.

I'm not elaborating any more, because if I keep going, I'll beg. And if you don't know me well enough to know that you're hurting me, a letter isn't going to fix our problems.

I'm desperate for you. I'm miserable without you. I think about the weekend, and the hours we spent together, and I can't think of anything I wouldn't do to have you like that again. Instead, you're spending time with HER, while I'm alone on my fourth night without you.

Even knowing you've been with her, I want to crawl on my knees for you and beg for scraps. A touch. A kiss. One tender word. You've made me that weak.

I hate myself like this. I hate that I need you this much. I hate that I'm so obsessed with you.

I hate that I love you.

Eva.

My hands shook, my eyes watered as I read the email again and again.

She had cut her heart, poured all the words and emotions in this. I knew how hard this was for Eva. She never faced her problems, instead she ran away from them. The fact that she told me about her feelings was enough to show how much she wanted our relationship to work. How much she loved me. How much she wanted me.

I had told her once that I could live with whatever I had of her. Now she was asking me the same.

Did she really think that I wasn't miserable without her, that I wasn't desperate for her? That I wasn't obsessed with her?

How could she think that!

Ah, yes. I thought I had made it sure at every occasion that I was passionate about her, obsessed with her. Incomplete without her.

But what hurt more was that she still loved me. She still wanted me, even if in scraps.

I was on my feet and in front of her door, opening it with her key even before I had made the conscious decision.

I was done with being away from her. I wanted to be with her, look at her, run my fingers over her cheeks, kiss her, make love to her, fuck her.

I tip-toed to her room, opening the door. My breath caught when I looked at her, my dick instantly at attention, very much attuned to her. The whole room was dark except for the moonlight coming from the window, making her face glow.

She was sleeping in a fatal position, the blanket covering herself till her chin, her hands tucked beneath her cheek, her hair spread over the pillow, framing her face, a few strands falling on her cheek.

She looked like an Angel. My personal angel.

"Angel!" I whispered, kneeling by the bed, admiring her face.

God, it hurt looking at her. I had seen her properly on Monday. And then yesterday, but that time I had a role to play so I couldn't admire her the way I wanted to.

I looked at her face lovingly, loving the freckles that shadowed her nose, making her look younger than her twenty-four years. But I hated the trail her tears had left behind. She must have cried herself to sleep.

I moved the few strands of hair from her face, feeling her soft skin against mine. I ran my finger over her cheek, the way she loved, removing the evidence of her tears. She had no idea how her tears tore my heart, pierced my soul.

Her forehead creased, her serene face now shifting to panic. I kissed her cheek, hoping it would be enough to wash away her nightmare.

She stirred, her face twisting.

"Don't be afraid." I murmured, soothing her. She opened her eyes, trying to see clearly.

I sat on the mattress, leaning over her to press myself to her, placing my arms on her side, bracketing her. The only thing separating us was her blanket. She didn't hesitate, her body calm as I settled over her,

"Angel." I whispered, feeling rather than seeing her eyes over me, my lips sealing over her in an awkward manner. But it didn't matter. The moment our lips touched, I was alive. Highly aware of her, of us. I knew it was going to be a big slip on my side. I cannot make snap decisions when everything was on stake, but I wasn't able to stop myself.

She touched my bare chest with her fingers, her touch spreading wonderful sensations all over my body.

It was too much. I wanted to be inside her, to feel her, to have her, to be with her.

A groan left my mouth, showing my weakness in letting my body get better of me. I stood, not removing my lips from her, still sealing her lips with mine, I pulled off the blanket off her, drawing the string of my sweats as well that it dropped on the floor.

I laid down on Eva, settling between her legs, my lips moving desperately against hers. The friction of my naked body to her clothed one did wonders, her warm body igniting my already aware senses. I moved my lips to her throat, sucking on her skin there, while my hands worked on her top, moving it up so I could take hold of her breast, turned on as she gave herself to me.

My hand supported my body as my mouth found her nipple, sucking the tip with a hunger, with vengeance, with raw need, with anger that she doubted me, that she thought I don't feel about her the way she feels for me.

My other hand moved south to between her legs, my hand covering her clothed cleft, sliding past the satin to the seam of her inner lips, my tongue darting our to taste her nipple. The tip hardened in my mouth, my teeth biting it, running my tongue over it then to ease the pain.

"Gideon!" She whispered. Her voice was hoarse, showing all the emotions that she was trying to hide.

In the darkness we both were as naked to each other as we could ever be. Our souls bared to each other, just the other.

Nothing was right when we weren't with each other. Everything seemed off—wrong. Now that I had her, everything was again back at its place. My whole world again found its equilibrium which was always missing when I wasn't with her.

Now that I have her, I couldn't stop. Not if I wanted to. I wanted her in every way possible, no matter how, no matter what. She had no idea how much I loved her! How much she means to me!

I moved from her one breast to other, licking her cleavage, breathing in her scent over there, nuzzling my face in the valley of her breasts. I found her other nipple. Licking it, I sucked it hard in deep pulls, hungry for her, feasting on her. My fingers teased her eager sex, enjoying the way it quivered when I played with her girls—as she called them.

I moved down, licking and nibbling her skin, my tongue leaving a wet trail over her stomach, her abdomen. She opened herself completely to me as I moved down to her sex, breathing in her heavy scent, breathing on her cleft. I rubbed my nose again the satin, stroking her, loving the feel of her.

I inhaled. A groan escaped my throat. "Eva. I've been starved for you."

I removed the barrier her panty was, shoving it aside impatiently with my fingers. I spread her sex with my thumbs, stroking her clit with my tongue. I feasted on her clit, licking it and stroking it. I teased her, claimed her.

She arched her back, moaning, grinding into me.

Without the benefit of light, I was more aware of her, of her reactions. Of her soft voices and her hoarse cries. My dick was being impatient, painfully aroused, throbbing for attention, wanting nothing more than to be inside her.

I drove my tongue inside her, letting my body speak for me. I was incomplete without her. I wanted to think nothing for the whole night, just fuck her senseless.

My tongue moved inside her rhythmically, already knowing everything about her.

"Oh, god!" she writhed and shuddered. Then her whole body shook as she came with a violent rush.

I didn't stop even then. I lapped on her juices, on her trembling core, sucking her dry. She was swollen and wet, sensitive and vulnerable as I continued stroking her, sucking her. Her whole body shook again as she came once more.

My breathing quickened as I was near an explosive orgasm.

I ripped her underwear with force, moved up, covering her sweaty body with mine, our quick breathing mingling with each other.

I wanted to be soft with her, love her, caress her. But it wasn't in me. I was impatient for her, the need to be inside her, to connect with her was excruciatingly hard.

I placed the head of my cock against her sex, feeling her wetness, letting her wet me. And with one single push I was inside her with a growl. She moaned and I swallowed her sounds by my mouth, fucking her mouth with my tongue.

I wanted to be deep in her, to not let any distance be in between us.

I moved back on my heels, adjusting her to the angle I wanted with her hips, out thighs splaying on each other as I drive inside her with one push. I was very deep inside her, the head of my cock touching the sensitive places inside her. She gasped in pleasured pain, and I groaned, too, as I was very deep inside her.

I had been deprived of her for days that I wasn't able to content myself. I was coming inside her, jerking my load deep in her in a powerful spurt, growling and groaning as I emptied myself in her.

"For you, Eva." I groaned in pleasured pain, "Every drop."

I want to be with you, I want you to feel me even when I am not with you.

I want to be inside you in every way.

I pulled myself out, flipping her body over that she laid on her belly. I lifted her hips up, gripping her butt-cheeks in my hands, kneading them. I spread her cheeks wide, licking her rear, thrusting my tongue inside her from her real hole.

I had told her I never do anal play, but today I wanted to fill her from everywhere. To make her remind of me everytime she looked at herself, to tell her that no matter what, I was forever hers.

I licked her hole. She flower-opened herself to me so I could thrust myself inside her.

She groaned, "Oh!" and then she was coming with another violent force, grinding her ass to my mouth, enjoying the fluttering strokes.

And then she started sobbing while she moved against me, her whole body shaking, this time not only by her orgasm but also with her sobs.

Did she still think I was distant from her? Did she still think I could ever be away from her?

I moved my one hand in front of her, touching her already swollen clit with the pad of my thumb, running it rhythmically along with my tongue. I wanted to drive the message inside her that there was nothing that could keep me away from her. Nothing.

She came with a scream, her legs giving out and she fell on the mattress, her body still shuddering with her orgasm and her harsh breathing.

My dick was again crying for attention. The pre-cum already leaking. I covered her body with mine again, leaning on her, shielding her from the whole world. My sweaty body mated with hers without friction, both of us becoming one. I spread her already boneless legs apart, pushing myself inside her, sliding in and out of her without any difficulty.

I fucked her softly and slowly, savouring the moments I was inside her.

"I'm desperate for you, I'm miserable without you." Why can't she get that?

"Don't mock me." She whispered, her voice too hoarse. She was crying.

Why can't she get one goddamn single simple thing, one truth.

"I need you as much." I whispered in her hair, "I'm just as obsessed. Why can't you trust me?"

"I don't understand you. You're tearing me apart."

The pain that she didn't believe me made me come that instant. I bit her shoulder hard, groaning against her skin, spurting my load inside her with a rush to fill her with me.

I was still panting when I released her. "Your letter gutted me."

"You won't talk to me... you won't listen..."

Wish I could tell her every fucking thing to let us both out of he misery. But, "I can't."

I have to shield her against Nathan, and for that I have to keep myself away from her.

I tightened my arms around her, covering her, dominating the way she likes. "I just... It has to be this way."

"I can't live like this, Gideon."

Neither do I. "I'm hurting, too, Eva. It's killing me, too. Can't you see that?"

"No." She cried.

Ah! "Then stop overthinking and feel it! Feel me."

I shoved myself inside her with anger, bringing her to her orgasm once again, and emptied myself in her, our orgasms mingling with each others.

I made her sit on the bed, standing in front of her, thrusting my dick in her mouth, fucking her. She accepted me easily, punishing me with her tongue, with her hands and nails on my ass. "I need you, Eva." I cried as she brought me to my orgasm, thrusting myself throat deep. "I need your love."