AN: Hi everyone! This short specal was written for Tenzō's Cabin Affection Fest event ✨❤️✨ The prompts were AU and Friendship,; and I was given three characters to choose from to include in the fic: Shizune, Ibiki, and Hidan. As soon as I saw the last name, I got all fired up! I only ever briefly mentioned him in the main story, but always wanted to write at least one scene with him and Deidara. I finally got to do it here! Also...Hidan + Affection fest could only mean one thing...PDA xD I'm all here for it! Another exciting news is that I am introducing Tenzō and Gai to this universe! They are pre-relationship in this fic, but you know me – they'll get together in no time! Please enjoy this short fic


DAMN ELEVATOR


Another Damn Valentine's Day

"Let me get this straight—you are canceling, again?!" Iruka's voice in his headpiece couldn't be any louder, and Tenzō already set it to the lowest volume possible.

"It's Valentine's Day, Iruka, shouldn't you be spending it with your, well, Valentine—," he whispered in response, carefully removing a concrete slab from the top of the exterior wall of his target's warehouse "—and not your single friends?" He proceeded with removing a portion of the steel roof and sneaking inside.

"I will have you know that it's a day to show affection to everyone important in one's life and you are our friend! You are important!"

"It was yet another blind date trap, wasn't it?" the pause on the other end of the line followed by a huff of frustration was the answer good enough and Tenzō released a deep sigh. Regardless of how exasperating was the whole setting-up-with-a-stranger mission his friend was currently on, he was only doing this with good intentions at heart. "I really meant to come over this time, Iruka, but, seriously, you should stop. I am sure he is a nice guy and everything, but you know better than anyone how hectic my work schedule is. I mean, you live with my boss. I just don't have time for relationships right now" Tenzō checked his watch and, indeed, he didn't have much time left – he needed to move faster. Securing his harness on a conveniently located metal hoop in the wall, he proceeded to descend from the ceiling of the warehouse.

"You sure you can't make it?"

"Um—I'm—a bit tied up at the moment"

"Why do you keep whispering? It's annoying"

"I'm on a mission, Iruka. It requires a certain degree of—" about halfway to the floor, head down, Tenzō pointed his camera at a group of people hanging around the entrance to the warehouse and took a few pictures. "—stealth. You were right there when Kakashi gave it to me."

"Yes, so? He said that it was easy enough for a cat!"

"A certain type of cat..." Cat was a code name for high profile intel-gathering missions that usually utilized all of his black ops training and didn't require personal interaction with the target. Kakashi's code name was Hound.

"How difficult can it be to snap a photo of a cheater walking into a love hotel?" That's right, no matter how many times they tried to explain this to Iruka, he was still under the impression that Kakashi's job as a private eye was to expose cheating spouses, which, to be honest, they did. Sometimes. Most of the time, though, it was a bit more complicated than that. "You know what, don't answer that. Fine! I will call it off but you have to promise me to meet him next time!"

"Alright, alright..." he whispered back before Iruka hanged up and proceeded with taking a few more photos. Their client was going to be pleased to see the evidence of the prime minister's new protege's involvement in arms dealing. It was Tenzō's lucky day.


It was late evening when Tenzō finally walked into his building. With a bit more luck he would be home in no time. He could already envision going up to his apartment and submerging into the warm bath under tunes of relaxing music. Afterward, maybe, he would finally read that book he bought for his birthday, or watch a movie that everyone talked about two months ago. Tenzō wasn't lying to Iruka over the phone – how could he make time for a relationship when he couldn't even make time for himself?

Tenzō's luck for the evening seemed to have run out, though, as a big sign that greeted him in the lobby said that one of their elevators was still broken. Which meant taking stairs, again. The damned machine kept working on and off and the second elevator couldn't keep up with the tenants' demand. He had to call technicians several times just this week but the thing still kept breaking.

Or maybe the luck was still on his side because the next thing he saw was a shirtless fine man kneeling before the operating panel of the broken elevator. He was too focused on whatever wires were sticking out of there and didn't notice Tenzō approaching him, which gave the later freedom for his gaze to wander from taught abs to a broad chest, which was shaved clean from any hair mind you, and to defined muscular arms and shoulders. The man's face was all sharp lines framed by thick dark hair that almost sparkled in the ambient light. But what caught Tenzō's attention the most were full lips and a screwdriver between blindingly bright teeth.

Catching himself shamelessly staring at the man, Tenzō shook his head, cleared his throat awkwardly to attract the man's attention, and released the most elaborated greeting he could manage:

"Hi."

That barely carried a sound, and Tenzō for a moment thought that he failed to accomplish his goal of starting a conversation with this very well built stranger. However, startling black eyes locked gazes with him, and soon the man stood up, took the instrument out of his mouth and stretched a big hand out to him in greeting.

"Oh hello, Hello! How Are You Doing This Fine Evening?" The man's voice was loud and delightful, vibrating right through Tenzō, who was too used to spending days in quiet solitude. The smile and a vigorous handshake that followed made him feel like they were long-lost friends finally meeting each other after who knows how many years.

"I am good." Tenzō was seriously considering taking up on Iruka's offer of a blind date. If only as a practice, because—clearly—his socializing skills were much, much worse than he thought.

"Splendid! Is There Anything I Can Help You With?"

"Ah, I think you already are—" he cleared his throat again and dragged his eyes away from that shaved chest up to the man's eyes and willed them not to move down again. "—helping, I mean. Aren't you cold?" He had to ask because it was mid-February and the lobby wasn't heated well enough and those damn abs were plain distracting.

"Oh! Not At All!" Of course not. It was a silly question. It was a crime to hide this body under such ridiculous things as clothes, mid-winter or not.

"Do you think you'll get this fixed soon?"

"I Am Most Certain! The Main Things Machines Need Are Joyous Love and Human Care! Both of Which I Have Aplenty!"

"And knowledge of machinery, you mean, of course?"

"No-no, That Can't Be As Important!"

"Wait, are you our new technician? I don't think I have seen you here before."

"Oh, I Am Not An Elevator Mechanic, My Dear Fellow! I Am Just a Well-Meaning Passer-By With Sufficient Knowledge To Fix This Problem!"

"What?!" Tenzō was suddenly brought down to Earth. "Who are you and what exactly are you doing in this elevator, with this—this screwdriver?!"

"But it was broken! I Could Not Possibly Have Left It All Alone!"

"We have technicians for this stuff! You shouldn't be just poking around and playing with wires. Are you a kid?"

"We All Are Gentle Children In Our Hearts! This Is How We Preserve Our Youthful Spirit!"

"That's not—"

"You're dead to me! Go away, yeah?!" the loud voice from the entrance interrupted Tenzō mid-sentence and both him and the shirtless stranger turned their heads to see what was happening. Two men walked in and looked to be in the middle of a fight or lovers' quarrel.

"Baby, oh shit, I am sorry, ok?" The bigger man with grey hair stylishly slicked back carried a bunch of paper bags and flowers "It's chocolate! You fucking love chocolate! I took it only so you would eat it"

"You are an idiot, yeah!" the second man with long blond hair turned around swiftly and pointed a finger at the other "It's Valentine's Day! You accepted her fucking Valentines'!"

"But I wanted to give it to you?"

"Imbecile!"

"Damnit, love. Can't we just fucking talk about this?!" The grey-haired man, like a giant dog rejected by its master, tagged along after his partner, who walked right past Tenzō huffing in acute displeasure. Suddenly the bags and flowers were shoved at the shirtless guy beside him. "Fuck, take this, take all of it"

That seemed to only make things worse because—

"Now you're giving valentines to other men?! Shirtless men?! Are you fucking kidding me, Hidan?!"

"Fuck babe, that's enough" to Tenzō's absolute surprise the man, Hidan, swiftly swept the other guy into a deep kiss, who didn't seem to mind because he buried both hands in grey hair almost immediately and moaned. Shellshocked, Tenzō and the non-technician just stood there and gaped at the shameless public display of affection. "I only have eyes on you"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah"

"You better, 'cause I finished that rocket fuel and would have hated testing it on you"

"Fuck, you are so hot when you're angry"

"Take me home quickly, yeah?"

Miraculously, that same second the elevator arrived and the couple slid inside, still very much in their own world. Tenzō continued staring after them not quite certain what to think about it until the loud crinkling of bags and bouquets made him turn his head to the not-technician. The man had rivers flowing down his face.

"Oh, The Springtime Of Youth! What a Marvellous Demonstration of Manly Affection!"

Who was this guy?

"Anyway," Tenzō cleared his throat again. "You shouldn't be fixing something you're not qualified to fix."

"But it is broken!"

"Just leave it alone! Anyways, bye" he said and immediately headed towards the stairwell.

"Have The Most Wonderful Night, Handsome Stranger!"

After a short pause, Tenzō returned to the guy and snatched the screwdriver from the big hand.

"You shouldn't be trusted with this."


"It took you 15 whole minutes to get here from the second floor" Sasuke wasn't in the best of moods when Naruto walked into the penthouse and discarded his shoes. They were planning to spend their first Valentine's Day right there, at Sasuke's, with a bit of wine and music. Just chilling. Naruto looked forward to it so much but—

"I swear, these damn elevators are too slow! They—" he didn't get to finish the sentence as his partner's mouth firmly pressed to his. He welcomed the strong embrace that followed and relaxed into its warmth. Sasuke has missed him, just as much as Naruto missed him.

"Move in with me" Sasuke breathed out, eyes serious and excited. So much that the excitement spread to Naruto and sent his heartbeat to flutter at light speeds.

"Aren't you moving a little too fast?"

"Hn, I am not a damn elevator." The man answered and swept him into yet another kiss.


Neji—a tangled bundle of nerves—has been pacing around his apartment for hours, making sure that everything was perfect. He checked the food, wine, rearranged the cutlery on the dining table, twice, took the chocolate cake from the fridge, then put it back in thinking that it would be best to keep it there until after dinner.

Dinner.

It was his first time celebrating Valentine's Day properly with Kiba.

His lover.

Their relationship was still so new and exciting that he could hardly believe it to be true. A mere thought of their first night at the lab sent his cheeks aflame, and now they were having dinner at his place. He wanted everything to be perfect, but that one spoon didn't look quite right—

The doorbell rang and Neji opened it in a heartbeat to the sight of a huge bouquet of fresh white roses.

"Hi" Kiba greeted him with a lopsided grin and Neji's nerves finally settled down. The night was already perfect.


"What is this, Uchiha?" Gaara looked at the little red box that was carefully placed on his desk by the intruder to his office. Seriously, security in this law firm was lacking, to say the least.

"Open it, you will like it" Itachi made himself at home on one of the chairs and smiled at him.

"I doubt it"

"Oh, but you will"

"Your ego has no bounds"

"Why thank you"

"That wasn't a compliment"

"That's for me to decide"

With a huff, Gaara picked up the box and opened it, fully intending to throw away the contents the very next second but stopped. Eyes widening in surprise he looked back at the intruder.

"Is that—?"

"Yes"

He wanted to ask how but knew better than to ask an Uchiha such a question, so instead, he murmured Thank you, eyes transfixed at the gentle miracle in his hands – one of the smallest flowering cacti in the world.

"I believe I have a date with you on March 14th," with a smug satisfaction Itachi stood up from the chair and headed for the door, "so, don't make any other plans"

"I didn't agree to any dates with you, Uchina"

"Oh, but you just accepted my Valentine's gift, didn't you?"

"I—"

"Shall I take it back?"

"You don't play fair, do you?"

"All is fair in war and love"


AN: Thank you for reading! Comments are always welcome ;) ✨❤️✨

P.S.: a huge, huge thank you to my friend menecio for this line (I can't possibly take credit for this brilliance XD):
Oh, I Am Not An Elevator Mechanic, My Dear Fellow! I Am Just a Well-Meaning Passer-By With Sufficient Knowledge To Fix This Problem!

P.P.S.: Just in case, March 14s is called White Day. It is when you give a return present to someone, from whom you accepted a valentine's gift.