Mako's Message: Okay, break's over. Not sure how much good it did me as I got maybe...a tenth of the wrtting I wanted to get done done. But I did get to do some serious thinking and planning done. Not all for this fic I assure you. in fact, my "big LMI fic" finally has a title so hopefully I can get that to you soon.
As for this chapter, it's not that long, but it's definitely longer than the last...ten or so, and I like it. Hopefully you all will as well.
Oh, and to all the new readers I seem to have picked up these past two weeks, ten more chapters until the next bonus.
So.
Dave hasn't spent the night with Riley again, as far as I know. But he has been going out with her after work every night we don't go out. Which has been more often than I'd like considering cheerleading is taking up more of my time and energy than I expected. It's not all that intense, it's just seriously cutting into my afternoon naps so we've had to cut back on patrols.
It has done wonders for clearing up Dave's rep though. Even if I hadn't broken that douche's nose I'm pretty sure a lot of the guys would be easing up on him since I've caught a few of them checking me out. It's funny because you can tell they're trying to remind myself that I'm only 12 while they're ogling my legs.
Doesn't do me any good though, since the only guy I really want is the one guy that's not looking. And not only is he not looking, I think I caught him about to go all "over protective big brother" on a couple of them. Which is totally NOT the way I want him thinking about me. I wish I could convince myself it was because he's jealous, but that's kind of hard when Riley is with him and looks like she's ready to smack the kid for whatever he said to his friends as well.
Angela is getting a fair bit of attention too, but she's eating it up. She flirts so shamelessly it's almost disgusting, but at the same time she's hasn't said anything that might make someone think she'll actually DO anything with them, Not that I know of at least. And I don't think anyone will be stupid enough to push the issue since the whole school knows we're best friends.
But all that, cheerleading, school, patrol, still isn't enough to keep my mind off of the fact that Dave was single, and now he's not. Especially when I'm sitting at home and he's out with her. And the worst part is that I actually like her! She's so much cooler than Katie was and I can't imagine why he'd break up with her and she's actually been after him for so long I can't see her breaking up with him either. So that just leaves me sitting at home pulling my hair out trying to figure out what I'm going to do.
Dave isn't interested in me like that. I can tell. I'm just not his type. He likes the stereotypical leggy, busty, blond. If it wasn't so depressing it'd be disgusting. The only thing I have going for me is that my hair is similar to Riley's. So, how is 12-year-old me supposed to compete with 20-something Riley?
No. Fucking. Idea.
It's seriously driving me nuts. I don't have a Mom to talk to about this stuff, my friends wouldn't be any help even if I could talk to them, and Marcus isn't even an option. Uncle John would probably be willing to talk to me, but that'd just be too fucking weird even if he could help. If this was about any other boy I could talk to Riley, but that's not going to happen. I don't care how much "encouragement" she gave me ( the mistletoe, telling me to step my game up and snag him before she started "playing for real",) she's not going to give me advice on how to steal her boyfriend. This isn't bizarro world.
I did have one option though.
White Mage.
It seemed like a good idea at least. Hang back after a Justice Forever meeting, tell her I wanted to speak with her privately. She'd do it. Why wouldn't she? I'm fucking Hit Girl!
So I did.
And she did.
And Dave and Uncle John left us alone to talk without any problems.
And that's when things got awkward.
She was standing there, obviously expecting me to talk to her about something to do with "work" and I'm suddenly being struck by what a stupid idea it was to try and confide in someone who is effectively a stranger (When Uncle John reformed Justice Forever he was careful to make sure we don't let too much of our personal lives be known to each other since it's so much more dangerous than it was. He's the only one who knows how to contact all of us.).
So finally I tell her I need her advice. On boys.
She was shocked, I could tell, but she agreed to help me out, so I told her how I wanted Kick-Ass, and how he and his last girlfriend had broken up, and about his new girlfriend. When I finished she said, "Oh, sweetie," and I think she was going to try to hug me before she thought better of it. Then she asked me if she could look at my face. I told her I wasn't going to take my mask off, but she said that was fine as long as she could get a good look at me.
So she looked at me.
And then she smiled at me and said, "You're very pretty." I was expecting a "but you're still young" or something, instead I got, "And I'm sure you'll be even more beautiful when you get older." She sat down on the table and said, "You've certainly got the odds stacked against you though, but then, you're no stranger to that are you?"
I couldn't help grinning when she said that.
Then she sighed and said, "I don't know what to tell you though. You are young and that'd probably be enough to put him off dating you even if he hadn't gone through all that 'pedo' crap. His girlfriend sounds pretty hot too," she smirked at me, "Assuming you're not just looking at her with jealousy tinted glasses." Ha. Ha. "And the truth of it is, he may like you, maybe even love you if you're as close as you say...but he may just not be attracted to you. Not see you as someone he can have a romantic, let alone physical, relationship with. I think you're just going to have to wait a few years and try to snatch him up when he and this other girl break up." then she shrugged and added, "Maybe if you're lucky he'll discover that you're the only girl for him and you're destined to be together no matter the odds!" She finished in such a ridiculously sappy, over the top, and dramatic pose I wasn't surprised at all when she burst out laughing and saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist, don't hurt me."
Then she was all business again, "Maybe you could try dating someone your own age. Seeing you with a boyfriend might help him see you as a potential girlfriend. Or you might discover that what you're feeling for Kick-Ass is just hormones and you'll make some 13-year-old boy exceptionally lucky."
I told her I didn't think that was going to happen. What Dave and I have is special. I can't even imagine having the same interest in just some boy.
Still, she did have a point. If Dave isn't into me like that all it could take to change that is a few months, a couple inches, and another cup size.
I don't know about dating another boy just to try and make Dave jealous though. It seems kind of cruel. I mean, I can be cruel, sadistic even, and creative about it too(The car crusher was my idea. And one of my better ones if I do say so myself.), but those guys deserved it. This'd be a whole different thing. I'd be hurting someone for my own personal benefit. I'd be acting like one of them.
And that made me think of Dillon.
I said I was going to spend more time with him, since he didn't seem to have many friends if he had any at all, and then we were hanging out all summer and then as soon as school started we'd just kind of abandoned him, but aside from texting him more often I haven't done anything with him. We even forgot to invite him along for our Dave and Buster's celebration.
Which is how I ended up going out with Dillon, alone, on a seriously-this-isn't-a-date to Central Park. He seemed kind of impressed that I was allowed to go all the way out there by myself. If he only knew.
He brought his camera with him and, after making it clear that these photos would be for his private use only or he'd never hold a camera again, I posed for some photos for him. We walked all around the park, and he had me pose in all sort of places; by the lakes, on the bridges, the fountains, with statues, under the trees, on the playground, the rocks. He ended up taking a few dozen pictures of me, but I didn't mind. I'm pretty sure I can trust him to keep his word. And it made me feel...I don't know, pretty, I guess. I've been called "cute" and "adorable" before, and with Dave I've been trying for "hot" or "sexy", but until White Mage said it, I'd never been "pretty". I didn't believe her, I thought she was just trying to be encouraging, but that day it felt like Dillon was turning me into art. It was nice.
Of course, that just made me feel worse about even considering to date him just to try and get Dave's attention. He's nice, I like Dillon, but I just don't feel any interest in him beyond being a friend.
So I still don't know what I'm going to do about Dave. With everything he's been through pushing too hard might just freak him out and make him push me away, but if I just sit and wait for him to notice me and break up with Riley I could end up waiting forever(assuming I don't lose mind).
Fuck fucking fuckity fucking fucker fuck.
Fuck.
