"He was so mad at himself." Fili continued. "He thought that Kili wouldn't speak to him."

The kids giggled at this as Kili smirked. "I thought he wouldn't tell anyone." From out of nowhere Balin stood behind them, a cheery grin on his face. "Tried to tell ya that there was no shame in asking for help. I got that wrong, laddie."

Kili smiled at him. "Its fine."

Gloin strolled after his friend and stood beside the toymaker, frowning at the scene. "What is this, a meeting?"

"I wonder how many times you're gonna have to explain this today." Kili muttered as Fili breathed a laugh.

"It's just a story."

"Ok." Gloin crossed his arms, an amused spark of acceptance floating through his eye. "I want to hear."


Walking side by side with his nephews down the Carrok made Thorin Oakenshield for once in his life feel like he had found peace. His mind was overflowing with thoughts - he had just been saved by his nephew whom he had spent his life despising, when he was more sure than he had ever been that he was going to die. Guilt started to overwhelm him as he thought...truly thought in great detail about Kili, and a large level of culpability crept further into the picture the more and more that he thought about it. When he had been lying there, accepting his fate as he closed his eyes, all he could think about was his nephew.

"Come on Fee!" A seven year old Kili laughed. "You are supposed to be chasing me!"

"I'm tired Kee!" Fili whined as he chased after his brother with a head shake. The duo ran wildly across the green carpet which their uncle had taught them was called a meadow, and they frowned at the sight that they spotted at the edge of the field by the rushing river as they stopped dead in their tracks, Fili finally being able to stagger over to the bundle of energy that he called his little brother. A small child, whom they recognized as one of Bofur's regular toy shop visitors, stood a ways off from them right by the river edge and the brothers wondered what in mahal's name she was doing.

"Luna?" Fili called. The girl in question turned around and giggled. She looked about two years of age.

"The rapids are hwuge in the middwe!" She exclaimed, before jumping in the water, completely unaware that the current would take her. Kili didn't even think about what he was doing as he was already in the water. Fili gasped and went to dive in after him when a hand held him back.

"Uncle let me go!" Fili cried, wriggling in his grip.

"Hush. You are not going in there too!" Thorin hissed. Kili grasped the wrist of the young screaming child and dragged her to the edge as he wildly kicked, trying to avoid the fall of the large waterfall in front of them. The mother scooped her child out from the edge and cradled her close, whilst Kili grasped onto a broken log and swung himself up, panting as he stood up and walked over to the reunited family.

"Are you ok?" He asked the little girl, who nodded shyly.

"I cannot thank you enough." the mother said earnestly. Thorin and Fili joined the merry fray.

"Kili you idiot!" Fili scolded. "You could have died!"

"Well I didn't." Kili said stubbornly, making Fili roll his eyes, and looked to Thorin who offered a smile and gave him a nod of approval.

Having come back to reality on the Carrok, Thorin thought about many things. Kili saved a two year old little girl from drowning when he was only five years old himself, and Thorin had given him a nod of approval?! He cursed himself, guilt swirling in his gut like a constant reminder of the fact that he was the worst uncle a child could ask for. Kili was so selfless, once so full of life and Thorin Oakenshield himself had destroyed that, and a frown formed on his countenance. No wonder Kili didn't want to speak to him. His mind drifted back to the night of that hectic event.

Kili smiled happily as he watched Fili attempt to make spaghetti. He had been determined to learn to cook, and Thorin was upstairs so Fili thought he would surprise his uncle. He filtered the sloppy yellow string in a sift before putting it extremely unevenly on three plates. Kili snickered but didn't say anything, for he would have spilt it within the first minute of his attempt. Fili walked over to the sauce and the pan was surprisingly hot, so he dropped it with a yelp, sauce caking the working top in crimson.

"Kee, go and get uncle!" Fili exclaimed as he grabbed a dishcloth and attempted to clean up the mess. Kili did his task, entering his uncle's room to see him looking fixedly at something.

"Uncle? There's been a spillage." Kili declared, and Thorin didn't answer. Kili walked over to him. "Hellooo?" he asked. "Uncle, Fili may have b..."

"Kili! Can you not be quiet for one minute?!" Thorin spat in irritation.

"But there's been a..." Kili stumbled back when he was cut off mid-sentence by the back of someone's rough hand connecting with his soft cheek. His eyes widened and tears formed in his wide, confused eyes and he found himself running out of the room, leaving no room for Thorin to say anything else. He ran down the stairs and out of the back door where he knew Fili wouldn't see.

Serves him right, Thorin thought bitterly. I couldn't save my brother that day, and Kili killed my the only sibling I had left when she gave birth to the thing, and now he wanders around, trying to replace my brother by looking the spitting image of him. Thorin felt a tang of guilt, but shook it away as he stared at the photo of him and his siblings. It's his fault, Thorin thought repeatedly. It's his fault. It's his fault. These three words implanted themselves in his brain, and he didn't realise that from that day on that his eyes were blind to any other characteristics in his youngest nephew.

"Wait, he did what?" Balin asked, cradling the small child who was sniffing on his knee, whilst Dwalin watched silently from the corner, a look of sadness evident on his face.

"He..he h...hit me." The child cried as Balin hugged him close, the two rocking back and forth slowly as pity took over the tutor's facial features.

"Kili, don't worry, we'll uh...talk to him." Dwalin stated. "I'm sure there was a reason." The hunky dwarf defended his friend, though he felt doubtful and would resent Thorin if he ever gave out at any child, even if they did something wrong.

That night, Dwalin and Balin returned the child who held his chin high and confidently as he walked through the door, his brother falling to his knees and hugging him. Thorin eyed him from the corner and shook his head in irritation. Fili can't love him. That brat just demands attention. This ends soon.

Fili observed the dull atmosphere in confusion as he ate with his silent family at the dinner table, oblivious to the fact that Thorin had lashed out at his brother, but he knew something had happened and he begged them to make up but they refused. This broke the blonde dwarfs heart and he didn't know it, but his brother's too. Balin and Dwalin had tried to speak to the exiled king, but he waved them off and said that he would never do such a thing, though neither brother could deny that they had seen the nasty red mark forming on Kili's cheek.

Thorin shook his head and silently ordered for his tears to stay where they were, something he had practised a lot as he always seemed to have to still his emotions, and he looked to the side at his nephew. "Kili?" He asked. No reply. "Kili?" He tried again. Kili looked at him to show he was listening. "Why won't you speak to me?"

"He won't speak to me either." Fili spoke up straight away, looking pointedly at his brother. "Kili...what is going on?" The young dwarf bit his bottom lip and tapped his throat, glancing to the sky in annoyance as if it would help him answer.

"You have a sore throat?" Thorin asked. Kili shook his head and slapped a hand to his forehead, whilst uncle and eldest nephew exchanged confused glances.

"He hasn't made a sound since goblin town, I don't think." Fili murmured, concern evident on his physiognomy.

Gandalf walked over, something that Kili was thankful for as the conversation was forced to come to a halt. "How are we all holding up?" he asked cheerily.

"Good." Fili mumbled.

"Fine." Thorin agreed.

Kili just nodded and offered a small smile. "Kili, I was hoping to catch a word?" The brunette in question uncertainly followed to avoid seeming rude. "Are you ok, laddie? Everyone is shaken from seeing those nasty scars of yours. We want to know where you got them from." He could see Kili avoiding his eyes. The archer merely shrugged and looked the other way. Balin sighed deeply. "If those things did something to yer you should tell Oin. There is no shame in asking for help; there is a difference between showing pain and weakness, you know."

Kili blew a lock of hair from his eye in irritation. Gandalf ambled behind the two, listening to the conversation in interest.

"One time, yer uncle got captured by orcs and they beat him. That day was a blur, but when we got him back he didn't tell anyone about the scars that he received. Then he collapsed because they got infected and he was severely ill after that. My point being, not telling people about injuries ends bad. They don't look like the type of scars that have had proper treatment."

Kili shrugged again and Balin rolled his eyes slightly. "It doesn't help if you don't talk about it either."

Kili opened his mouth to fire back a reply when he realised his situation and closed his lips, looking down at the floor sadly. "What's wrong?" Balin asked. Kili shook his head and tapped his throat. "You can't speak?" Kili confirmed this by a simple, upset nod. "Was it..." he began to ask before they crashed into the company in front of them who had come to an abrupt halt at a hand signal from Thorin who realised that they had made it to the foot of the Carrok.

"Wizard." he rounded on Gandalf, realising that they could continue no further because wargs had strong, practised noses and probably knew exactly where they were. "The orcs are still on our tails. We can't go until we know where they are."

"Why, then we'll send Bilbo."

"The hafling?" Thorin asked in disapproval as said burglar looked up at the mention of his name.

"That's what he's here for."

Thorin grumbled his doubts but rounded on Bilbo with hunched shoulders. "Go and scout ahead. Get back as quickly as possible. Do not be seen, hobbit, or I swear something bad might happen to you."

Bilbo gulped. "Got it." he squeaked before scurrying away to do his appointed task.

They waited impatiently for Bilbo to return from his little mission, and when he did he looked panicked, but Kili noted that everyone was completely oblivious to this. As they had waited Balin hadn't pressed on the matter, presumably trying to piece together in his mind what how in mahal's name what he had figured out was possible. Murmurings broke throughout them as they all praised the hobbit for being silent on his feet, including Gandalf who was proud of his choice to bring Bilbo on the quest. He told them that the pack was relatively close, and Kili yearned for someone to yell for them to get moving. He wasn't in the mood for another battle. The hobbit stuttered as he carried on trying to speak. "Shut up!" Fili exclaimed, reading his brothers mind and Kili thankfully flicked a smile in his direction.

"Thank you, Fili." The hobbit breathed in relief. "I am trying to tell you that there is something else out there."

"What form did it take? Like a bear?" Gandalf questioned worriedly.

"Y...yes but bigger. Much bigger!" He got louder as he spoke.

"I say we double back." Bofur suggested.

"And get run down by a pack of orcs?" Thorin debated.

Gandalf watched them converse, though he didn't appear to be listening as he looked around thoughtfully. "There is a house not far from here, where we may take refuge."

"Whose house?" Thorin inquired. "Are they friend or foe?"

"Neither." Gandalf stated bluntly. "He will help us, or he will kill us."

"What choice do we have?" Thorin asked. A terrifying roar rang through their ears from in the distance, and Kili tensed, knowing the answer to his uncle's query. Can't they let us rest for at least one minute?!

"None." The wizard answered and so they were off once again, darting hurriedly across fields, around streams, through a small forest and towards a house that nobody could actually see, though Gandalf assured them that it was there. Bombur seemed to refuel with energy and Kili was surprised how fast he could sprint, considering when Kili first met him he wondered how he even could walk, let alone outrun a bunch of twelve other sprinting dwarves. They made it to the outside of the house, the bear soundedly still close behind them.

"Get inside, all of you!" The wizard ordered, and they hastily obeyed. They door was stuck, two forces pushing it in two directions, as the bear had made it to them before they could completely slam the door shut. The peak of its snout was demanding a taste of their flesh as he fought against the door, and the dwarves were all yelling as they pushed against the force, determined not to let it win. Kili punched its snout forcefully, knocking it back and the door was able to shut. Sighs of relief and exhaustion broke out throughout the dwarves and Ori was the first to ask the question that everyone was wondering.

"What is that?!"

"That is our host." Gandalf replied calmly, though he looked very uncertain. The dwarves turned to look at him in confusion, and he explained the situation further. "His name is Beorn, he's a skin-changer. Sometimes he's a huge black bear, sometimes he's a great strong man. The bear is unpredictable, but the man can be reasoned with. However, he is not over fond of dwarves." Kili looked around, noting the fact that none of the dwarves seemed to have ever seen a skin-changer before, and this surprised Kili, for he had seen many and he was only seventy seven!

"He's leaving!" Ori exclaimed, who was standing closest to the door and could hear the muffled footsteps of the bear hesitantly backing away.

Dori stomped over and yanked him away from the door. "Come away from there! It's not natural, none of it. It's obvious, he's under some dark spell." He told the company. Over-protective brothers, Kili thought.

"Don't be a fool." Gandalf told him. "He's under no enchantment but his own." He removed his hat and looked around the room doubtfully. Fili took hold his brothers wrist and pulled him to a corner of the room. They both learned that on the duration of the quest that being against something, preferably a corner, was their favourite way of dozing. Especially when they could curl up cosily together. "Alright now, get some sleep all of you. You'll be safe here tonight." he ordered, before looking out. "I hope."

"Does he think we didn't hear that?!" Fili hissed to his brother, who shrugged and smiled slightly, nudging his brother playfully before he relaxed into the warmth that Fili provided. Nerissa's words played over and over in his head, like a nightmare that he couldn't ditch. I have so much to sleep on, he thought to himself as he closed his eyes, finding it annoyingly difficult to succumb to the darkness.


The next morning, the skin changer served them breakfast quite resentfully and he explained how he hated dwarves, but orcs much more. He also explained that Azog had killed most of his family, though some had been enslaved. Fili stared at the overly large mug of ale in front of him, not that he was complaining. He listened intently to the stories that Beorn told to nobody in particular of his enslavery, as he begrudgingly raised his left wrist to show them the remnants of manacles. "It wasn't just us." Beorn continued. "In the arena, I was forced to watch fighting from the outskirts, as I was thankfully never actually required to enter the arena and fight. Many died, of course, more so men and elves as there was much less dwarf. In my opinion, dwarves are greedy and blind, but I do make exceptions for only one, though most believe that he is just a legend. But not me." The skin-changer looked down sadly, and Kili bit his bottom lip. I'm pretty sure I saved this guy.

Thorin was rather intrigued, to be honest with himself. He felt pity for his back story, though he was curious about the slavery thing. "Of whom do you speak?" he asked, continuing the conversation. He looked right at Beorn's face and saw a stern mask but behind he could see grief. This he knew because he felt exactly the same, plus too much guilt for him to handle.

"Of Akim." Beorn replied. Fili's eyes snapped to his brother who looked down awkwardly.

"The legend?" Thorin questioned further as Beorn nodded.

"I saw him once. Well, I saw a flick of his hair - he was covered by a black hood, but he had raven coloured hair. He saved me from a barlog outside the arena that had escaped, and I will be forever grateful." Beorn explained.

Fili listened intently and remembered what Kili had told him before they entered the misty mountains.

Kili walked side by side with his brother behind the company. They had just left Rivendell and the archer felt brighter than he had in days - Fili and him had finally talked. Properly talked, restarting their friendship in a smooth way. He did notice the constant glances of disapproval that Thorin shot in their direction what seemed like every five seconds but he didn't care. Not one bit.

A howl in the distance put everyone immediately in high alert, as weapons were drawn and murmurings brewed. Nobody knew what the noise was, aside Kili who knew what he had to do. As Thorin lead everyone away, though they took precautions, Kili let himself linger in the back before darting away as fast as possible.

Fili turned around to check on Kili and began to panic when his searching eyes couldn't lay themselves on the familiar brown mop of hair. "Where is Kili?" he asked out loud. Thorin, who was leading, spun around and scoffed in annoyance.

"That reckless dwarf." he spat. "Can he do nothing else aside seek danger?"

"We have to go after him!" Fili exclaimed desperately.

"No. We did not come on this quest to save Kili from his recklessness. We move on."

"But..." Fili began but Thorin turned on his heels and stalked away. Fili sighed and hung back, turning around to move but a hand on his arm stopped him.

"I know what you are trying, but don't. He will die, and we don't need both of Oakenshields nephews dying to those creatures."

"He is my brother, Gandalf." Fili told him as he began to run in the direction of the sound, whilst Gandalf sighed and followed. They saw the giant creatures up ahead and crouched out of sight, or so they thought, behind the bushes.

"Barlogs." Gandalf murmured, still gripping Fili's arm to top him wriggling away and helping. "Ancient demons. Those who even I cannot fight."

Fili gasped as he stared at his brother who stood in front of three giant barlogs with no weapons in his hands at all. One slashed its fiery whip at Kili which he dodged, running behind its ankle and stabbing his sword into the back of it as another whip from another barlog slashed in his direction. He used his sword to hit the whip into the leg of the barlog that he was stood behind and it roared in pain, hopping backwards so Kili had to run out of the way to avoid the fate of being crushed. He yanked out a poison filled dagger from his boot and lobbed it in between the eyes of another which squealed. He dodged a whip from the uninjured one before grabbing it and swinging it to meet the neck of the okay one that fell into the one with the dagger in its eye and the two crashed to the ground. The one with the ankle stab growled threateningly and retrieved a whip from the ground, slashing it at him. He climbed the pile and yanked the dagger from in between its eyes, the tip laced with poison and he hopped off, running in between its ankles and grabbing its injured leg as he plunged his sword into the side of its hip once he had climbed high enough. As he knew it would, the poison rushed into its veins immediately and he jumped away before its falling could crush him and made his way with his chin held high in triumph to where he knew Fili and Gandalf were hiding in the bushes.

They stepped out from their hiding spot. Fili's mouth was open in awe and Gandalf's eyes were wide. Neither knew what to say, but eventually Gandalf broke the silence.

"Kili? How on Middle-Earth did you do that?"

"It's a long story." The archer replied, racking his brain for an explanation. "Monale? Have you heard of him?" He asked the wizard who looked utterly lost at first until he began to realise what Kili meant.

"A...are you...?" Kili just smiled - that was enough for Gandalf.

Fili's mouth was still open, causing Kili to snicker. "Your mouth is open, Fee." He pointed out.

Fili clamped it shut and debated what he wanted to say. "The ba...you did...I...what?" Kili burst out laughing and Fili smiled, finally figuring out what he wanted to say. "I can't believe you just did that."

"We should get back to the company." Kili told them as he swivelled on his heels and marched back in that direction, Gandalf and Fili following close behind, both lost in thought.

They caught up to Thorin who immediately rounded on the youngest. "You. What were you thinking?! Running away like that so we don't have an archer to defend us! And for what? Were you trying to make a point?!"

Kili was taken aback. Yes, he expected Thorin to be mad, but not furious. He had been yelled at like this many a time but Thorin had never once been this mad because he didn't have Kili there. "What was I supposed to do? Leave them there to decease the lives of every single innocent pass by?"

"No! Someone else can deal with them - someone that can actually fight! You are reckless, Kili, reckless!"

"At least I'm not off my head." Kili fired back before he could stop himself. A hand made contact with his cheek. Thorin had aimed for the place where the bruise was still visible to get to maximum pain and it worked - the archer crumbled to the ground with a cry. He raised his hand to hit him again when his own arm was grabbed and he was dragged away. Kili was absolutely startled - never had he been struck with any chance of somebody lingering and now it had just been done in front of the entire company. Everyone was shocked as murmurings brewed and gasps were heard. Kili wanted to lie on the ground and never stand up.

Fili knelt by his side, trying to coax him into standing. He shot warning looks to the company that clearly urged them not to follow as he dragged Kili away to a nearby tree who followed numbly.

Dwalin threw a shocked Thorin against a tree and held him there. "How dare you do something like that! You lied to me and my brother when that poor innocent child came over years ago and claimed that you hit him. I care for Kili! You are lucky nobody that chose to see the kindness in that lads heart has not beaten you to death for failing to see what others choose to notice! He's right - you really are off your head!" Right after his outburst he let Thorin go who slid down the tree into a slumped position as Dwalin moved to rejoin the company. Great. His youngest nephew had turned everyone against him.

Sitting with your brother after he has been struck by your uncle, unknown to you that it has been happening for years, in front of a group of eleven other dwarves, a hobbit and a wizard was not something Fili thought would happen on this quest. He was unsure of what to say as they sat with their backs to a jagged tree, because everything he could think of somehow lead back to the events of less than ten minutes ago. He wanted to get to the bottom of his brothers past, but he wasn't certain that Kili would open up to him. Kili had spoken to Elrond in Rivendell, Fili and Ori having sneakily watched most of the encounter, and he had heard the mention of a familiar name, but wondered how in mahal's name that linked to Kili. When he said his question it sounded quiet to his ears, but Kili shifted uncomfortably, showing he definitely heard.

"Have you met Akim?" The blonde heir asked. Kili tipped his head back against the tree, as he pondered about his answer. Two voices were in his head. No, don't tell him! He shouldn't know! One of them screamed, but the other, calmer and more rational voice whispered. Just tell him - he wants to know, he deserves to know. He is your brother. Kili hesitated, but his lips and voice appeared to have listened to the latter for once.

"Kind of." He murmured.

"What does that mean?" Fili pressed. "Hmm?"

"Remember that time I was gone for like, maybe...three years?" Kili asked, and Fili nodded.

"Aye. When you went to stay in Rivendell?"

Kili smiled slightly, preparing himself for some form of outburst. "That was a lie."

"What?!" Fili demanded in shock, standing up and turning around to face his brother.

Kili shook his head and began to explain confidently, and by the end of his short story he was surprised that he felt no tang of regret in telling Fili. I did the right thing. "I got caught by goblins and orcs, and got taken into an arena, where I had to fight barlogs and wargs and all sorts of darkness. I even got thrown into war with a couple of skin-changers and I won. Then they gave me that name because they were surprised that I was capable of defeat, especially at sch a young age, and always said I was a formidable fighter." Fili smiled, proud of his little brother. The words 'formidable fighter' echoed in his ears and he turned back around.

"You are Akim?" He asked. Kili nodded, and Fili looked up to the crystal sky in wonder. "Mahal." he breathed. "My brother is famous!" He exclaimed, and Kili offered a laugh before grunting as he pushed himself up.

"We should get back to the others." He declared, and Fili debated whether or not to press for more of the story, and no matter how much he wanted to, he decided against it - he wondered if anybody actually knew what Kili had just told him.

"Kee?" Kili swivelled around on his heels. "Thank you...for sharing that with me." Kili nodded, and gestured for Fili to follow who obeyed, thoughts swirling through his mind as he processed the new information that he had just been given, and wondered if he would ever be able to finish the rest of the puzzle.

Fili came back to reality and looked around, before slowly finishing his meal, though he didn't feel the slightest bit hungry anymore. My brother, the one who I swore to protect the moment he was born, suffered five years in the hands on filthy orcs and goblins?! It hit him like a bombshell, and he scraped his chair as he got up and marched out of the room. The company watched him leave in wonder.

"Is he alright?" Beorn asked.

"I think he just needed some air." Thorin replied, locking eyes with Kili who smiled his thanks at the skin-changer before swiftly leaving the room. He entered the bathroom, to see Fili sat with his face in his hands, and he put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Fili looked up in surprise.

"Sorry." He said. "I just really needed some air." Kili slumped down on the wall next to him. "Kili, are those scars on your back from the many years that you were trapped?" Kili gave him a look that clearly asked 'well what do you think?' Fili laughed slightly and stood up. "You should have them checked out by Oin." Kili forcefully shook his head no. He had never wanted anybody to see his back close up, his only exception being Elrond, as it was the prettiest mix of red, black and purple that you will ever see. Fili just huffed. "Why aren't you speaking?"

The black haired arched blew some hair out of his face and stared at his brother and tapped his throat. "I can't!" He mouthed exasperated. Fili just looked lost.

"Why?!"

Wizard, Kili signed. Ask the wizard. Fili understood and nodded, making a mental note to discuss this with Gandalf, whom he realized he hadn't really ever had a proper conversation with. Kili stood up and looked in the large mirror, wiping some muck of of his face with the water that he got from the tap. Fili watched him closely. He ran a finger through his moustache and frowned at how knotted it was, and began to undo it as he brushed his fingers through the coarse hair to make sure it was smooth and even, and once he was satisfied he began braiding his 'do'.

When they went back down for dinner they felt calmer and the atmosphere around them seemed to have died down. Fili had realised that Kili wasn't choosing to be a mute and vowed to ask the wizard for further details. He wasn't sure if he knew what had happened to Kili and that's why the archer told him to speak to the wizard or if he might have an idea, but he was going to anyway.

Kili looked up from picking at some food when Gandalf suddenly stood beside him and whispered something in his ear.

"Meet me in the stables in ten minutes." He murmured, before standing up to his full height and stretched as he exited through the door. Why? Kili thought of the possible reasons and pondered on whether or not to go, but planned on obeying. Don't want to risk 'upsetting the wizard.' In the remainder of the ten minutes that he was able to sit and think, he tried to get his head around the fact that this had all really happened to him.

It was real magic.


It's been ages because I was self isolating and my laptop was at the house that I don't live in so sorry about that! I'm back now though and will try to get back to where we were (when they were about to charge into battle) as soon as possible!