Mako's Message: Here we are. Precocious Crush Ch123. We will never see that again.

This chapter is the much anticipated(I hope) Halloween chapter...well, technically it's the second part of the Halloween chapter since Angela's birthday is on Halloween and her birthday party was last chapter.

Anyway, this chapter will also be viewed by...at least one person as a very welcome return to form. But since I'm guessing most of the people reading this are actually fans of the comic/movie I predict a lot of people will like this chapter.

And finally, this chapter is dedicated to my dear friend DangerousBeauty84 who, upon hearing that this chapter weighed in at a whopping 3,252 words (-eyeroll-) blew her brains out. May her memory live on forever. :P

Enjoy!

P.S. I usually give teasers of some sort around now, do you all want any more?


We have been so negligent in our jobs as superheroes it's disgraceful. Seriously. I can't believe we got blindsided like that. It should have been obvious if we'd just thought about it, even if we did have our heads up our asses. We should just hang up our masks and live like normal people.

It started out small enough, Angela, Jessi, and I went out trick-or-treating(Angela was a zombi, Jessi was Catwoman, and I was a pirate. I know, ironic.) We were having fun, getting candy, and then just as it was starting to get really dark, this guy came running and screaming down the street wearing a glow-in-the-dark skeleton costume with a machete. Nobody really thought anything about it since it was Halloween. Until he slashed some poor kids arm open.

Kid went down screaming and everybody started panicking.

Some people ran, other people froze or just coward there on the sidewalk. Unfortunately Angela and Jessi were part of the "stand there clutching each other and screaming" crowd. It would have been so much easier if they'd just run off. Then I could have dealt with the guy and then found them later and said, "Thanks for ditching me bitches." Instead they just stood there and screamed while the guy ran toward us swinging away.

I tried to shove them into motion, but the stubborn bitches were totally frozen.

So I put myself between them and the psycho, held my cutlass up, and when he got close to us and pulled his arm back to attack us I just stepped in and slashed him first. It wasn't a good swing, since I was trying to not look like I was good at this and just reacting reflexively, but it did the job.

While he was busy bleeding on the sidewalk I managed to get Angela and Jessi moving, but they were still kind of in shock and not very helpful. I could hear screaming in the distance from pretty much every direction, and Angela had recovered enough to spout a steady steam of "oh my god oh my god oh my god"

I picked up my phone to call Angela's mom to come get them just as Dave called me. First words out of his mouth, "There are a bunch of fucking psychos running around attacking people!"

I said, "I noticed. What are we going to to about it?"

"It's not like the fourth, they aren't rioting in groups, they're just running around individually. I think the only thing we can do is divide and conquer. Did you hear from Marcus yet?"

I told him, "No." then whispered, "I'm trying to get Angela and Jessi home safe."

He was like, "Shit. You're out in this out of costume?"

I said, "Yeah. I already took one guy out though. But I can't do anything else until I get Angela and Jessi somewhere safe."

I could hear him swearing on the other end for awhile before he said, "Well, there's nothing we can do about it. Get them home and then suit up as soon as you can." then he paused and said, "Text me every ten minutes so I know you're okay."

I couldn't help smiling, "It's just few lone cunts, I think I can handle myself."

He laughed and said, "I know. Just be careful."

I said, "You too Ass." and hung up.

I'd stepped away from Angela and Jessi so they couldn't hear and when I came back Angela was just hanging up with her mom who was coming to get us. Then Marcus called me and the first thing he said was, "Are you out in this?"

I said, "I'm with Angela and Jessi."

There was a pause and I could hear phones going crazy and people yelling in the background, then he said, "You're going to be though, aren't you."

I said, "Of course."

I could hear him sigh and then he said, "Well, I couldn't really stop you even if we didn't need all the help we could get. These wack jobs are everywhere. Just be careful and call in as many locations as you can."

"I'll call 911, leave them an intersection and hang up. It's what we usually do. I'm not promising any survivors though."

Marcus was silent for a really long time and I know it hurt him to say what he did, "Just protect as many people as you can."

I said, "I will. I gotta go now though."

Then Marcus said, "Text me every five minutes so I know you're safe."

I laughed and said, "Ya know, Dave only asked for a text every ten minutes."

Then he said, "Dave isn't your fa—guardian."

It's not often that that comes up, but it's always fucking awkward when it does. I said, "I'll be careful"

Then he said, "No you wont. But I'll try to pretend you will."

That's when Angela's mom came to screeching halt in front of us. I said, "That's Angela's mom. I gotta go."

We got in and I told her that Marcus wanted me to go straight home because he'd be there to get me as soon as he could and take me to a police station. She didn't like the idea of leaving me somewhere alone, even if it was my home, but she eventually agreed.

As soon as she dropped me off I suited up and then threw a hoodie on over my costume. Even though it was dark I didn't want to risk Hit Girl being seen on my bike, let alone coming out of my house.

I sent Dave my last real text before this was over, telling him I was suited up and hitting the streets. He sent back, "Good luck. Be safe. Kick ass."

So I went out on my bike, found a fucker, rode around, stashed the bike and came at him from the opposite direction.

This guy was on rollerblades, wearing a hockey jersey and mask, and had a hockey stick that had a blade attached to...the part you hit the puck with(It kind of looked like the bastard spawn of a scythe and a pole ax). He was also covered in blood, but I don't think that was part of the costume.

He chased some kids into a house and hammered on the door howling for a minute before he skated down the walk laughing. I yelled, "Hey shit bucket!" and that got his attention.

He looked at me and let out a whoop and pointed at me and said, "You're mine bitch!"

I almost laughed. I guess terrorizing kids and housewives gives you an overinflated sense of confidence.

He skated at me and took a swing at me that I just hopped out of the way of. He turned and came back and took a wider swing at my legs. I hoped over it and said, "You really suck at this," as he turned to try another pass at me.

Now, I keep a spare suit at home, but the bifurcated staff Dave gave me, the throwing knives I got from Col Stars, and even the butterfly sword were at the safe house, so I had to make due with my knucks, the cutlass, and a pair of handguns. Tragic, right?

Anyway, as he came at me again I ran forward, jumped up and hit him with a lariat. The result was kinda spectacular really. The guy had some good momentum built up, but since he was on wheels his feet just flew out from under him and he actually flipped over twice before he landed on the pavement.

While he was trying get some air back in his lungs I took his stick and axed him in the chest with it. Then I gave it a quick twirl and said, "Hey, I'm gonna hold on to this, you don't mind did you?"

He gurgled a little which I took as a "No", so I said "Thanks." and went looking for someone else to try my new toy out on.

Didn't take me long though. All I had to do was follow the smoke.

See, the next guy I ran into had a homemade flamethrower. He also, somehow, seemed to have found a way to look like he was on fire without hurting himself because he didn't seem to mind that there were flames on his arms, head, and back. And I guess this guy had also run off all his potential victims because he'd started setting property on fire.

He spotted me and tried to run into flame range, but I just pulled one of my guns and shot him in the face. It wasn't very satisfying, but I didn't want to risk setting myself on fire by getting close to the guy.

The next guy actually kind of amused me. He was dressed as the green goblin and was throwing molotov cocktails at people and into buildings. He didn't see me though, so I just walked up behind him and hit him in the spine with my hockey scythe.

I spotted another one not much later, with white body paint all over him and dressed up like an american indian, chasing a group of people down a cross street waving a couple of hatchets. I yelled, "Hey tonto!" ( I wish I could have been more creative, but I didn't really have any time to think and that was the first thing that came to mind.) and he showed the most intelligence of anyone that night. He turned and ran.

He had at least half a block on me and I couldn't let him get away so I just lined it up and shot him.

That's when Col. Stars called me to ask if things were settling down where I was, because as he put it, "This fucking insanity is spreading."

And, like the universe was trying to prove his point, this car came flying around the corner, with one guy hanging out the passenger window with a bat, whooping and hollering. They drove straight at me so I told Col. Stars I'd have to call him back.

When they tried to run me over I jumped up on the hood , rolled onto the roof and stabbed the hockey scythe into the roof to hold on with. The guy with the bat climbed half out the window and tried to knock me off, but I just swung my leg up and kicked him in the face, sending him sprawling across the pavement. It took me a minute to shift my grip so I could swing into the car, but I managed it and put a gun to the drivers head and said, "Stop the car or I blow your brains out and do it myself."

He did.

Then I said, "Thank you for your cooperation," and shot him anyway.

Then after making sure I still had everything after my little ride I was back on the hunt.

Unfortunately that was pretty much the end of anything interesting that night. From there on there weren't any more people in any real costumes or any real gimick. Just a bunch of fuckers with bats, or bottles, or broom handles, or pool cues, or whatever. Couple guys had guns but they were less interesting since those guys I just shot. But I did come across a group of guys kicking the shit out of another guy on the ground, while someone held a woman who I'm guessing was the girlfriend of the guy getting the beating because she was crying and screaming for them to stop.

There were five of them total, but I only had three bullets left, so I shot three of them as I walked up and used used my hockey scythe on the fourth. The fifth guy tried to use the woman as a hostage, but he didn't actually have a weapon, so she was more of a human shield. I took a moment to make sure the guy wasn't in immediate danger of dying before I went to deal with the fifth.

He kept backing away with the girl, telling me to stay away and calling me a crazy bitch.

I wanted to avoid hurting her if I could, so I dropped the guns(which were empty anyway) and the hockey scythe and held up empty hands and said, "Okay, I'm unarmed, now let her go."

He hesitated for a minute then practically threw her at me and ran for it.

But I was planning on that and grabbed the cutlass off my back and threw it at him in about half a second. Unfortunately I hit him with the pommel instead of the blade(it's not like I had practice doing that, though maybe I should) but it knocked him down anyway. So I ran over and jumped on his back before he could get back up, smashed his head into the pavement, then flicked out my balisong and stabbed him in the neck.

Then I checked on the couple to see if they needed anymore help, but they'd already called for an ambulance and they guy still didn't seem to be actively dying so I left them for the ambulance to pick up.

It was almost midnight by the time Marcus called me and said, "Calls have stopped coming in, are you okay by yourself or would you like me to come home?"

I said, "Oh, I'm okay. It's been pretty quiet around here for awhile and I've been talking with friends."

He said, "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then."

I said "Goodnight."

And he said, "Goodnight pumpkin."

I think he heard me roll my eyes because he laughed before he hung up.

Col. Stars called us all in for an emergency meeting not long after, and I'd been walking around for six hours at that point so I said "fuck it" and took a cab.

It took me awhile to get one to stop, and if I'd been with Dave I might have yelled, "It's because I'm purple isn't it!" but I didn't feel like entertaining random people on the street.

The driver of the cab that did stop though must have been a fan of mine though because he said there was no charge for the ride. I do keep some money on me though, just in case, so I tipped him the full fare.

And I got a huge surprise when I got there. Biker Knight was there. Which was awesome. I don't know how The Gentlman convinced him to come, but that was probably just his "natural" charm. He just kind of hung back against the wall and didn't talk though. Which sucked.

The Guardian was there too, and he's good but he doesn't like me because he's strictly "no kill" and always looks at me like he'd like to teach me a lesson whenever we bump into each other(which isn't often) so he can kiss my ass.

Anyway. Col. Stars had us talking about what happened tonight, and what we'd run into. Everybody had run into people in some sort of costume, usually with a gimmick, but those guys had dried up after an hour or two, and from then on it just seemed to be a bunch of freaks who decided to "get in on the fun"

Shield said he ran into a cowboy with about a dozen arrows sticking out of him who'd given him trouble because the guy had a LOT of ammo on him and he'd had to wait for about five minutes before he ran out and he could move in to take him down.

So I told him about "runs-with-dumbasses" and we all agreed it would have been fun to see what would've happened if they'd run into each other.

Dave had a fun encounter with a guy who was covered in black from head to toe, was wearing a light blue, tattered all to hell cloak, and carrying a real scythe. He said that the guy was good at keeping them at a distance so he'd just used his tazer on him. Which surprised me because I didn't know he was still carrying that pathetic little thing. If he's going to carry one I should get him a real tazer. The kind people don't just get back up from.

I was the only one who'd collected a trophy though.

I wanted to hold onto it, but when Col. Stars asked if I wouldn't mind making it the first entry in our trophy room I could say no.

I think we'll be filling it up pretty quick though, now that they're thinking about it. I know I'm wishing we'd grabbed "The Great White"s sword. Well, Biker Knight took down "Whitey" so it wasn't ours to take, but we could have grabbed Nathan Bush's coat or something. Not that I'm ever going to need a trophy to remember HIM.

I'm looking forward to the day we get to mount "The Motherfucker"'s mask on the wall. With his head still in it.

But after that it kind of turned into a lecture on not letting this sort of thing happened again. Twice now Chris has blindsided us with this crap, and we really should have known about it. So we'd all vowed to be more careful and to keep our eyes and ears open for anything like this. By the time we left we all created fake accounts to follow him on Twitter( Ifuckyourmom) and on Facebook(Iamthe Mothefucker). And let me tell you was THAT depressing. I can't believe how many friends he had. It's no wonder he never seems to run out of nut jobs who're willing to sign up for this shit. As if I didn't have too little respect for people as it was.

It was almost two by the time we got out and I was kind of hoping Dave would want to crash at the safehouse, but as soon as I brought it up he said, "Oh shit, I have to check on Riley."

Apparently he ran out of work after he called me, telling Riley to stay inside and barricade the door until it was safe, saying Marcus had asked him to go get me and take me home.

Riley hadn't stayed in the shop though. Dave was pissed at first, but I heard him say, "No, I guess I couldn't expect you to stay there all night." and then he apologized for taking so long to check in on her, and after that I couldn't hear anything because he made sure I couldn't hear what they were talking about.

So I sat there and took out my aggression on some power bars while he finished talking to her.

Then Col. Stars offered to give us a ride home since we were the last ones there, and I appreciated his offer as much much as it annoyed me since it meant I wouldn't get to sleep with Dave, but getting to sleep in my own bed would be great too. I mean, yeah, I love getting to cuddle with Dave, but that bed isn't exactly the most comfortable. It's also only a single so, again, while it forces cuddling...it forces cuddling so there's no room to stretch out.

So tonight was all kinds of fucked up and I still need to go get my bike and Marcus' hoodie tomorrow.

God I wish I didn't have to go to school tomorrow.