Mako's Message: "Deep inside you everyday, you do not know I will not say, your underground makes me ill, if I don't do it no one will, I can see what you mean, it's always harder than I seems, don't blame yourself for breaking me, cause you just went and set me free, then I set you down, and shut your mouth, and show you what I always see, there is a small place for you, where all your hopes and dreams come true, You move around, my world at will, watch out cause I'm coming to kill!

So motherfucker come and play, come on then, motherfucker come and play, you're broken up, cause you're breaking down, and very soon you'll hit the ground, you pulled your stunt, your time has passed, the world you made has kicked your ass!" Sucked In - Jerk


You know that feeling you get when you do something that makes you feel like you're gonna die? It's awesome isn't it? I'm still floating on the rush from tonight. I can't really enjoy it though.

I mean, sure, it started out fine. We met up at headquarters, went over our plan one last time, and loaded ourselves into the van to head over. Felt pretty good, honestly. It felt like we were in a movie. Well, it always kinda feels like we're in a super hero, but this felt like an action film. The team of badasses heading off to final climactic battle.

It made me wish I could kick my feet up on dash a light up a cigar.

Not that I'd ever smoke before something like this even if I was a smoker, it just felt appropriate.

So we pull up just before the road to the Factory, and we wait. Maybe a minute later a beat up car pulls up coming from the other direction. The car flashes it's lights at us and we flash back, and then I get teased by being able to tell that Biker Knight waited until then to put his helmet on, but not being able to see his damn face.

So then we pull onto the road with Biker Knight behind us and roll right up to the front door. Col. Stars and I hop out just before the back doors open and Kick-Ass, Inssect-Guy, White Mage, Shield, The Gentleman, and Sting jump out. Biker Knight pulls up behind us steps out, but then leans back in and pulls out this kite shield and straps it to his arm before nodding at us.

I look over everybody, they all nod at me, and then I see a group of three kids, maybe a little older than me, that had frozen on their way up the road. When they see me looking at them they turn and run their asses off down the road.

It made me smile. After all, it seemed like a good omen at the time.

So Shield and Stars pulled open the doors, and I walked in. Barely anyone noticed me at first, which was fine since we didn't want chaos any sooner than was absolutely necessary. Kick-Ass came in right behind me, while the rest of the team came in and moved immediately to the sides. People where starting to take notice at that point, but it was more, "Wait, what the hell?" and less, "Omgrnforyurlife"

That came after I raised my gun and shot one of the enforcers in the head.

Now, I'm a naturally talented shot. Always have been. But even I had to be real careful here. I was only able to use one gun since I had to use two hands because after that first shot, trying to hit a target was like threading a needle. It was nothing like Times Square. Then, the good guys were outnumbered by at least three to one, so picking targets and not hitting friendlies was fucking cake compared to this. It was like a 30-to-1 kid to enforcer ratio.

So people are freaking out and Kick-Ass is yelling for everybody to get out and Mage, Gentleman, Sting, and Insect-Guy are trying to get people through the door without them trampling each other and I'm trying to nail as many hostiles as I can, both to keep the sense of urgency up and to make our lives easier once we start heading up.

It didn't take long before things calmed down, even if it was just because the only people left where the ones who were cowering under tables or between arcade cabinets or wherever they could find some sort of hole to crawl into. Of course, that's also when the Cunts decided to make their counter attack.

It wasn't anything special, just a few Cunts who took cover and waited until I stopped shooting to rush us. We waved for the rest of the group to head up the steps while Kick-Ass and I finished off the stragglers before catching up.

I didn't use my blades though, just because it would have been too easy otherwise. I mean, yeah, I could have taken the four that came for me in ten seconds flat, but it's not often I get to do this, and I didn't want it to be over so quickly. Besides, I need some real practice now and then and it wasn't like these guys were any threat.

They did keep me too busy to see what Kick-Ass was doing though, which sucked. All I know is that I heard bones breaking, bodies getting slammed into things, and a variety of cries of pain. None of which were Kick-Ass', so I guess he did pretty good.

It did make me miss my butterfly sword though. I like using a staff, but I don't think I'll ever get used to blunt weapons.

Once I was sure that my share of the dipshit brigade was good and concussed I looked over at Kick-Ass who was looking around the room and said, "I think that's the last of them."

I said, "Awesome," as I reloaded my gun, "Let's catch up before we miss all the fun."

We didn't need to worry though. The others had hit the first real resistance of the night and were brawling with about two dozen Cunts. It was interesting to see that some of them took the time to put a mask on. Kinda have to admire their dedication to the image.

So, we got to the second floor just in time to see Col. Stars nailing a guy in the face before throwing him over the railing. He turned and said, "Oh, don't mind us, we're just having a bit of fun. You go on ahead and we'll catch up in a minute,"

I wasn't so sure we should though, since they were outnumbered, not by much, but still out numbered and this one guy was giving Insect-Guy and The Gentleman some trouble. But then insect-Guy got him into a wrist luck and The Gentleman nailed him in the face with the butt of his cane so I decided they had things under control and nodded for Kick-Ass to follow me and I headed up the stairs.

And almost got my head split in half.

I wasn't so much surprised as pissed off that I was once again looking at six foot three inches and two-hundred twenty pounds(I read the police report) of aussie skin-head with a sword almost as big as he was. I kinda-but-not-really stumbled dodging his big ass sword, but I pulled my guns and unloaded on the motherfucker. I wasn't fast enough though and he was able to get that monstrosity in between me and him and use it as a shield.

As soon as he heard the guns click on empty chambers he leapt down the steps and kicked me right in the chest. It was my own fault. I shouldn't have tried to reload when he was that close

So he knocked me clear off the steps and I hit harder than I would have liked, but I was able to roll out of the way when he tried to jump down the steps and stomp me without any problem. Then he pointed at me as he stepped towards me and said, "You're not the cape I really wanna carve up, but you're the one who's here," and he brought the sword up over his head and swung it down at me. Dodging that wasn't a problem; it was big, slow, and telegraphed to hell and back. The problem was that it never hit the floor.

Instead of letting it hit the floor, he angled it off to the side and twisted around, keeping the momentum from the downswing going and bringing it around into a horizontal slash that I was just not ready for.

Luckily Shield was able to jump in. Yeah, I got smashed between Shield and the guard rail, but I wasn't going to complain cause if that blade had hit me... It would have been bad.

So Shield shoved him back, and sharkboy elbowed him in the face, and then Insect-Guy came running up and clubbed sharkboy over the head and got kicked in the gut for his trouble. But then Shield kicked sharky and Insect-Guy stabbed him in the shoulder with those spines on his gloves, then said, "We got this, keep going."

Kick-Ass and I ran for the other steps, passed Mage and Stars fighting with hammer time, Biker Knight fighting some ass hat I hadn't seen before who had a pair of curved knives, and Sting who was picking apart rainbow bright.

Next floor was a bit of a problem. It was full of good old-fashioned mafia types taking cover behind all the couches, chairs and pillars and everyone one of them had a gun pointing at the stairs.

A few of them opened fire as soon as they saw us, but I saw them first and was crouched down on the steps and out of site before they even pulled the trigger..

Kick-Ass crawled up next to me and asked, "So what's the plan here."

I just said, "Kill them." and popped up and returned fire. When they ducked back undercover I ran up and took cover beside the doorway. Since they were all shooting at me, Kick-Ass popped up and slung one of his baton sheaths at them and ran to take cover on the other side of the door. The sheath hit a guy right in the temple and he dropped like a pole-axed ox. I smirked over at Kick-Ass and said, "You've been practicing that haven't you?"

He half smiled and shrugged before flinching back as bullets started taking chunks out of his cover.

I peaked around the corner and barely had time to relocate my targets before bullets started flying again. When they stopped shooting I tried again and got the same result so I just pointed the gun around the corner and fired blind.

I heard one guy yelp, so I know I hit at least one of them, but I didn't make a noticeable difference in the amount of lead coming out way.

Then Kick-Ass said, "Okay, so, River Tam you are not," whatever that means.

Kick-Ass tried throwing another baton sheath but the guy he was aiming at ducked it easily.

I was about ready to say fuck it and rush in guns blazing when Shield and Sting caught up with us. Shield was in the lead and for good reason; his armor is heavy and he's really not particularly agile but his armor takes bullets even better than Daddy's so he barely flinched when bullets started bouncing off him. Sting took cover behind him while he brought up his big ass shield and started shooting back with this wrist mounted crossbow. I need to remember to ask him what he coated the bolts with because he hit one guy in the shoulder and the other in the leg but they might as well have been shot in the heart because they dropped like rocks. Actually, I don't think they'd have gone down that fast if he had shot them in the heart.

So then shield drops down into a three-point, takes three quick breaths, and launches himself into the room.

It was fucking awesome. He charges in, bullets are bouncing off his armor, he lowers his shoulder and hits one of the couches they're using for cover and the without even breaking stride swings the arm with the shield on it forward and just knocks the thing aside like it was nothing and keeps on going

It was like seeing The Juggernaut in real life.

Okay, so he almost ran into a pillar, but it was still cool.

Anyway, since been nice enough to plowed an opening for us and most of them were still trying to shoot him, we took full advantage.

I gotta admit I don't think I've ever seen Kick-Ass move that fast before. It almost makes me think there's something to his theory about not wearing armor making him a better fighter. Almost.

So once we started cutting into these guys, and their attention was turned away from the steps, Biker Knight, Mage, The Gentleman, and Stars came rushing in and we started really fucking these guys up.

Except for this one guy.

This guy pissed me off so badly. He was probably the youngest guy there and he was a total fucking pussy and kept running away, but he made me feel like I was one of the nameless thugs in a Jackie Chan movie because I just could not catch this fucking son-of-a-bitch. He was always one step ahead of me and I was really starting to take this personally when he bailed out a window to get away from me. There was an 18-wheeler under the window so it was only a two story fall instead of three, but I was still surprised that not only did he not break anything in the landing, but he managed to hop off that and haul his pansy-ass outta there before I could shoot him.

All the other thugs was either dead, broken, or bleeding out when I looked back, but was standing in one of the stairwells looking over the railing and yelled that there were more coming up.

Stars yelled for me and Kick-Ass to get our asses up to the next floor while they kept them off our backs.

He ran with us to the steps, pulled a gun and started firing down the steps. I know Dave said that he'd used an unloaded gun to bluff people before, so I don't know if he was using blanks, rubber bullets, or the real thing this time, but it was making the guys on the steps stop and rethink their options so I guess it doesn't really matter.

Now, the two stairwells only went up to the third floor. A third set of steps started on that floor and were gated off. Fortunately there was no one there to give us shit except some people freaking out and crying behind the bar.

The gate was locked of course, but I've got a utility belt for a reason and I had it picked in about two minutes. I probably could have had it open faster but I haven't been practicing, I should just get a can of like, aerosol liquid nitrogen or something, so I could just freeze the lock and then break it.

When were were halfway to the next floor we heard people coming up the stairs, and then Biker Knight comes running over and slams the gate shut and locks it just before a half dozen guys come running over and slammed into Biker Knight. It looked really bad and Kick-Ass and I started back down the steps, but then he kicked one of them off him and shoved the rest of them back before turning his head and pointing for us to keep going then turning back just in time to block a punch from one and kick another in the gut.

Since he seemed to have everything under control we kept on moving.

The next floor started with a hallway going in both directions, with a bunch of doors. They were all either locker rooms or lounges though. Right in front of the steps was a big set of double doors though, and there was a short hall through them that lead into a gymnasium were another fucking ghost-of-motherfuckers-past was waiting for us.

I heard the whine of it revving up and if I'd stopped to think about it I'd have recognized it for what it was, but I just really wasn't expecting someone to have a minigun.

And I was expecting to see that bitch from the bar again even less.

We ducked back just as the stream of bullets met the wall. I'm not even joking. I felt one of the bullets tear through my suit. It was literally a hair away from hitting me.

We stepped back as the bullets tore into the wall like a laser beam. The wall even started to fucking catch fire.

Then that bitch-whore of an amazon stopped firing and called out, "Come out little babies! Time to play!" He voice was all fucked up, but I guess that's what happens when you survive getting stabbed through the fucking throat.

I peaked around the corner again and just managed to see that she had the minigun on a tripod behind a wall of sandbags before she let loose again.

So I said, "Fuck this shit." and threw a frag grenade around the corner. And I threw that son-of-a-bitch hard because I wanted it right up against her little bunker or it wouldn't do shit. I heard her swear just before it blew.

When I checked to see how much damage I did, I managed to get a good look at the room, and it was a lot like the gym at highschool, even had fucking basketball hoops, but there was also a bunch of mats, weight lifting equipment, punching bags, and shit shoved up against the far wall. I also managed to blow a hole right in the middle of her little barricade.

I didn't see her though, or the gun, so I tossed a smoke grenade in.

She opened fire again, but not at us. I'm guessing she was trying to shoot the grenade before it got too close to her, and I think she hit it because it blew up before it should have. She started swearing and Kick-Ass and I ran out into the room. He went right, I went left and started shooting. She opened fire on me and I dropped onto my knees and slid across the floor as the bullets swept right over my head.

Kick-Ass threw one of his batons at her and she didn't really dodge it, she just sort of twisted her shoulder out of the way as she turned the gun on Kick-Ass. He dropped to the ground and curled into a ball as he slid across the floor, just sliding the stream of bullets.

But it did let me get two clean shots on her. She was wearing kevlar though, so it didn't do much more than make her stumble. But it was an opening and I took it.

I leapt what was left of the barricade and kicked the gun as hard as I could because I wanted that shit out of play as soon as possible. I didn't want her hitting me with that any more than I wanted her shooting me with it.

I followed up with my staff(didn't want to take the time to separate it), but she caught it and ripped it out of my hands, tossed it aside and said, "You rely on weapons too much."

So I said, "You're the one with a fucking minigun" and kicked her in her cunt. I tried to punch her while she was keeled over, but she blocked it and hit me in my stomach then followed that up with a kick to the head. After that it's all just a gigantic blur of pain.

The next thing I remember is picking myself up and seeing her choking Dave on the other side of the room, so I did the only thing there was to do.

I grabbed my swords and rammed them both right through her sides until they came out the other.

I twisted the blades a few times and just did whatever I could think of to make the holes bigger without pulling out while Kick-Ass staggered to his feet. When she was finally on the ground and not moving anymore Kick-Ass said, "Well...let's keep moving."

I told him I needed a minute, and when he asked if I was okay I said, "Yeah, I'm fine. I just want to make sure she stays dead this time." and started cutting her head off. Once I made sure the bitch wasn't coming back I followed Kick-Ass through another set of doors into another hall. There was nothing there but an elevator. Which was locked, of course, so we went back and searched the body.

Luckily she had the keys on her, on her because I don't know what we would have done if she hadn't.

So, up we go again, and I'm getting a little worried because I'm on my last clips and I don't remember how many shots I fired. But it's not like a lack of ammo was going to make me turn around and I still had a belt full of throwing knives anyway.

When the doors and we step out into this huge room that looked like they turned two floors into one. There was this huge fish tank with a catwalk over it on one side of the room and right in front of us there were steps leading up to another level, with a table on either side of them but no chairs, and then continuing up to another level that had this gaudy fucking throne on it.

And then we hear him say, "So is everything finally taken care of? Because I swear if-" and then he comes around the side of the pyramid platform, sees us and yells, "Fuck!" then runs back around and out of sight.

So we run after him but stop at the corner, and we hear, "I told you that bitch was a waste of money."

And then the motherfucker yells, "Just shut up and grab a gun!"

So, I don't know what Kick-Ass heard, but I heard, "We're unarmed! Come kill us now!" so I leapt out and ran around the rest of the platform, to see the motherfucker and fat fuck taking cover behind a counter in a kitchen.

Yeah, a kitchen. The other side of the pyramid platform looked like...well, what any teenagers place would look like if they had enough money to buy whatever the fuck they wanted.

So fat fuck had a semi-automatic shotgun with a drum barrel and was aiming it just over the counter with just his head poking over it too and had us pinned down since he kept firing the thing like he had infinite ammo.

I was too close to the motherfucker to let that stop me though, so I ran out and dove behind the couch, which held up surprisingly well to the gunfire. It must have been reinforced just in case.

Kick-Ass ran out when the gunfire followed me, but that's when the motherfucker joined the fight dual-wielding uzis.

The problem with someone dual-wielding uzis, is that the fact it doesn't matter that they won't be able to aim properly, because they'll be spraying so many goddamn bullets they're gonna hit something anyway.

But fate favors the daring and shit so I popped out from cover long enough to fire off a couple rounds. I know I hit fat fuck in the shoulder, and I might have hit the motherfucker, but if I did he was wearing armor since he just got right back up. Fat fuck kept firing one handed, but he had to keep adjusting his grip after each shot so Kick-Ass took the opportunity to throw one of his baton blades at them. He missed, but it gave me an opening to move in.

The motherfucker also had to reload then, so Kick-Ass tried to rush in as well, but fat fuck managed to unload a few rounds in his general direction, so he dove for cover as well, which left both of us hiding on the other side of the kitchen island the fucker brothers were hiding behind.

That's when I heard the motherfucker say, "Fuck this shit. We're getting outta here." and the two of them started backing towards another door, fat fuck firing the shotgun over the motherfucker's shoulder while he kept spraying the room with those uzis. Then I heard him say, "fuck you you little psycho bitch cunt" which was kinda hilarious coming from him. I tried to get another shot or two off, but he slammed his fist on a button on the wall and a metal door slammed down between us.

And then a fuck-ton of grenades fell from the ceiling.

If we'd actually taken the time to think, we probably would have been blown to pieces because our reflexive reaction(dive for cover), shouldn't have worked. But we didn't think about it, we just dove for a chair and flipped it over us and lucked out to not have flipped it onto a grenade.

Not like we made it out unscathed though.

But whatever the motherfucker had done to his furniture to make it good cover managed to slow down the shrapnel to the point that it didn't get much more than skin deep.

Still hurt like a bitch though.

When we crawled out the first thing Dave said was, "So...about that armor..."

Which just made me laugh my ass off, since nothing that we went up against that would have made him wish he was wearing body armor would have been stopped by such light armor. I didn't tell him that though, since I do want him to wear it.

There wasn't much left of Chris' living quarters, we heard a helicopter fly off which had to have been him making his getaway, and we were kinda fucked up after running that gauntlet even before we had to pick shrapnel out of our asses anyway, so we started limping our way out.

When we got to the other side of the platform, Dave suddenly started limping over to the big fish tank. He leaned up against the glass and said, "Hey, I think there's something wrong with this shark."

And while sharks are cool, I was tired, bruised, bleeding and all I could think to say was, "Well what do you expect me to do about it? Do I look like a marine biologist?"

Dave looked at me then back to the shark.

I sighed and limped over to look, and he was right. I don't know much about sharks, but I'm pretty sure they're supposed to swim constantly, and this one was just laying there on the bottom. There wasn't anything we could do though, so I just said, "Leave it for the cops. They'll call the zoo or something and they'll take care of it."

Then he pounded on the tank and yelled, "Chris is such a fucking ASSHOLE! He probably got this thing just thinking it'd be cool to have a shark in his villain lair without even thinking about how to take care of it! What is wrong with him! If he keeps acting like this they're gonna bring the military in or some shit and they're just gonna bomb him! Does he even THINK? God, I just wanna wring his fucking neck!"

It totally caught me off guard and I just stood there for a minute before finally saying, "Dave. Let's just go home. We'll get him eventually."

Dave wiped at his eyes and pulled himself together and he was Kick-Ass again. He said, "Right. Let's get the fuck out of here. The smell is starting to get to me."

So we headed on back down to regroup and see how everyone else fared.

Biker Knight was laying on one of the couches and not moving. We couldn't tell if the blood on him was his or not, but when we walked up to him he gave us this feeble little wave and a thumbs up. Then he tried to stand and ended up just falling back onto the couch, so he just waved his hand for us to move on.

The next floor down was were the rest of the team was waiting, with Sting and Alice doing what they could to tend to our injuries.

Insect-Guy looked up us as we came down and said, "Jesus Christ, are you okay? We heard explosions."

"A LOT of explosions," Alice said as she finished wrapping Insect-Guy's leg. She turned to look at us and summed our situation up pretty well, "You two look like fucking hell. Come over here and let me see what I can do."

She spent a lot of time poking at my face going, "Does this hurt?" and "How much?" before finally decided she didn't think any bones in my head were broken. Then she started moving my arms and legs around like I was a doll trying to find anything broken in them(Which was a much shorter process.), and then practically felt me up looking for cracked ribs.

And then she did the same to Dave.

Finally she said, "Well, you two manage to not break anything as far as I can tell, but you should go to a hospital, if you can, just in case." Then she reached into her bag and said, "You're both cut the fuck up though, so you're gonna have to bear with me on this," and then she grabbed my arm and started pouring disinfectant all over me.

Burned. Like. Fuck.

Dave didn't even flinch though. Lucky bastard.

Finally she said, "So, have either of you seen Shred Ranger?"

Dave yelled, "Ha! I told you it'd catch on!"

I said, "Shut up. No one else calls him that."

She looked at me and said, "What to do you call him then?"

I said, "Biker Knight."

Sheild said, "Me too."

The Gentleman said, "I've simply been calling him, 'Our Silent Friend'" and moved his through the air above his head.

Then Alice snapped at him, "I told you to stop moving that arm."

He stuffed his arm back in his sling and said, "Yes Ma'am."

Then Biker Knight came limping down the steps and Alice went over to him but he waved her off.

That's when John said, "So everyone is in one piece then?" and after every one agreed that was the case he said, "Good. Let's get the hell out of here then. I've spent enough time around dead bodies."

I looked around then, since I was pretty sure everybody else had been at least trying to go non-lethal, and I was right. Sure, there were a few people that were still breathing laying around, but it seemed that everyone that wasn't dead or unconscious had dragged themselves away so while there weren't a lot of them, it was pretty much just us and the dead.

And they were all mine. (Probably.) I had to resist the urge to drag them all into a pile, and top it off with the amazon's head.

Anyway, everyone was pretty happy with the idea of going home so everyone got up and started walking.

John asked me if we got Chris, and I told him about the death trap and the helicopter and he wasn't happy about that at all, but he said, "At least it should be near impossible for him to get anyone to follow him after this."

Dave and I asked to be dropped off near the safe house, since we'd changed there and walked to headquarters, and going straight home wasn't an option anyway with the condition we're in.

Dave pretty much just pulled his mask off and fell on the couch, staring at the ceiling, until he fell asleep.

And now the last of the adrenalin had worn off long ago, my hand is cramping, we didn't nail Chris to a wall, and I hurt everywhere. I think I'm gonna crawl into the bed and sleep until noon.

...

After I shower. I've still got blood on me.

...

Well, at least I got a minigun out of it.


More Message: So, at 5,329 words, this is by far my longest chapter to date. That said, I'd like to apologize to everyone who dislikes long chapters or just likes the general brevity of my chapters. I also want to apologize to ALL my subscribers for taking so long to get this out. Between family visits, depressing life crap, and the story not wanting to do what I needed it to do, it just took awhile. Hopefully you all found it worth it.

...

Ya know, i thought i was going to have a lot to say about this chapter...but right now...i don't. Hope you enjoyed and leave a review!