{-Sharena-}
The three of them ran through the halls of the palace, giggling as they chased the little butterfly. It kept fading, but she felt like the only one who wondered if it was more than just for a hide-and-seek aspect to the chase. Both Triandra and Peony were so caught up in it that they barely noticed when she slowly started to trail behind them, eventually continuing on without her.
Something didn't feel right; as if something was off-balance, close to what would send it into a very unstable position. She knew it was probably something that had absolutely nothing to do with her, but her curiosity was getting the better of her and she was starting to get worried. Freyr would know if anything was wrong, she'd go to him—assuming he told her if anything was, of course.
"I can't believe they'd go so far as something like this." Sharena stopped her wandering when she heard Freyr, then quietly started following his voice.
"It's not something new… They're capable of… of doing this whenever they want… usually I'm just… quick enough…" Then that was Mirabilis. She and Sharena had interacted a couple of times since their meeting about a year ago, though it would be hard to say that they really knew each other.
"Try to stay awake. I need you to tell me everything that happened."
When she got to where they were, she debated whether or not she wanted to actually ask the question. She wasn't really planning on eavesdropping; simply trying to talk to Freyr. It would be lying to say that she wasn't interested in what was going on, she just knew there was better things she could be doing than getting into something that wasn't any of her business to begin with.
"What are you doing?" Sharena poked her head around the corner, intending only to let them know it was her. She wondered if it was something she was supposed to be seeing, though, with how beaten up Mirabilis looked and for all the worry shown in Freyr's expression. While she originally didn't plan on it, she couldn't help but add, "Did something happen..?"
"Sharena…" It was like that was the only word of response Freyr could muster, a new kind of emotion getting mixed in with the rest of them. Did he even realize she was asleep at all, or was he just not expecting her to find him?
Mirabilis then took the responsibility of answering at least the last question—well, part of it. Her tone and expression changed into a more somber one, something that Sharena would eventually grow to hate; a look that showed that they were trying to find the easiest way to explain it, thinking she wouldn't be able to handle the truth of it. "In every world, there's things that we don't understand. Mortals are no exception to this… confusion. Because of the kind of place they live in, they treat new things as threats; they don't know any better. So when they have this fear… it leads them to do a lot of bad things. They hurt their surroundings, other people, and even themselves because they don't know what else to do. We can't fault them for doing what they thought was right… no matter who or what they hurt, we just have to hope that we can help them see that they don't need to be afraid of the unfamiliar."
…
She never did talk to Freyr about the imbalance she was feeling. Not the day Mirabilis was with him, and not today, since he wasn't alone. Triandra and Peony were both there, like they were waiting for her, and a woman stood next to Freyr.
Peony hopped up from her spot on the floor to greet Sharena. "You're just in time! Guess what we have the chance to do! Come on! Guess!"
"We haven't gotten that far yet," Freyr reminded her. He turned to Sharena and gestured to the woman beside him. "This is my younger sister, Freyja. I'm not sure if you'll remember anything I told you about her before, but she's the ruler of the dökkálfar."
Freyja gave her a warm smile. "If it isn't one of our little dreamers. Tell me, dear, how familiar are you with suffering?" When she got no answer, she tried another approach. "A smart girl like you must have noticed. Our world… it's fading. Do you know why? If there's no one who's dreaming, then there's no need for a land of dreams. But it isn't the time for sorrow—for it's not irreversible. All three of you can become álfar, and save this dying land… you won't have to ever suffer again, and keep other people from hurting through the dreams you give them. So, girls, would you like to become Heroes?"
"We've already made our decision," Triandra mumbled firmly. "With or without you, we're not going to live the rest of our lives pretending like everything is going to be okay. We're too old for those kinds of lies anymore."
"I don't want to be afraid to wake up." Peony's agreement was barely loud enough to be heard, and she said it like she was expecting some kind of negative response.
It was around then that the entirety of the situation kind of sunk in to Sharena. The truth of it was that the real world was awful—and that this was a chance that couldn't just be handed out to anyone who asked for it without good reason. She knew what she'd be giving up; everything that waited for her back in the real world wouldn't matter any more. Like every person, there were some things that she could do without, but it wasn't bad enough that she'd take whatever chance she could get at an escape. There were people who cared for her, and she couldn't simply abandon them.
But then… what if her decision here made an impact on something? She'd overheard stories from Freyr about what happened if the dream realm was left alone. There was a specific reason she was one of the kids being made this offer. It was an interesting idea before she realized the gravity of the situation; of course, the varying looks of the others threw her off too.
"You don't need to decide anything," Freyr quickly stated. "Freyja, we—"
"We'll give you a few days," Freyja decided. "You might just find the mortal realm to be dying in its own way…"
…
"Do you think she's not feeling well? I guess it would make sense since Alfonse is sick…" Henriette, in her motherly worry, might as well been talking to herself: the closest person to her was one of the guards, who never talks to begin with (let alone seem to show any sign of emotion).
Sharena wasn't really paying attention to them, which probably didn't make it look any better. She was sitting as close to the stream as she could be without being in it, absently tearing apart a leaf. She wasn't making any noise, and honestly looked like she was just staring off into the woods.
The only thing she came up with, through the entire morning of thinking, was that she wasn't ready to go back there. She didn't want to fall asleep, because she'd see them there, and they'll give her the same look they did until she left the night before. In every story, there was the hero who didn't want or cared for a part of the responsibility that came with the ability they were given. And what made her on the verge of tears was that she was that person. She was afraid of not being able to come back, or staying only to live through the worst of nightmares, or make the wrong decision… because, either way, it seemed like someone would get hurt. It hurt her just knowing that, in this story, she was the one that wanted all the benefits of a hero without making any of the sacrifices needed to get that far.
"Mother." Having shredded the leaf as much as she could've, she moved on to nervously tugging the hem of her skirt. "When… when people don't understand something, they become afraid of it. And when they're afraid… they don't really make the best choices, and other people get hurt. That's true, isn't it?"
It was obvious Henriette took a whole minute just to process her daughter said something that philosophical, let alone think of an answer for the young girl. Carefully, she moved to where Sharena was and sat beside her. "There was once people who sowed the seeds of distrust, and it caused us to naturally be wary of strangers and anything else we didn't know. In the end, it keeps building up inside of us until we can no longer keep it under control… then we lose our temper, and without even realizing it, we hurt someone else. Then the cycle continues…"
"So is it bad..? That I'm afraid of what I don't know..?" Sharena leaned against her mother, no longer trying to will the tears away. "I don't want anyone to get hurt, but I think someone's going to no matter what. Because of me, someone else is going to suffer… I wish I didn't have to make a choice. I don't want to live knowing what I would do if I chose a side…"
"Where's all this coming from?" Henriette wasn't given an actual answer.
…
She wasn't surprised to see that a candle was still lit in Alfonse's room, and that he was using it to read. He believed more in "get it done as long as I'm physically able" than "let's rest like I'm supposed to be and deal with the consequences of taking care of myself later," after all. But he wasn't so engrossed in reading as to not notice her; in fact, when the door opened, it looked like he even moved to snuff out the candle before someone realized he was still awake.
"Did you have a bad dream?" Alfonse just watched her come in and quietly closing the door behind her.
Sharena shook her head. "Haven't gone to sleep yet." She wandered over to the side of the bed, dropping both her pillow and blanket on the floor. Then with a bit of adjusting, she made her own little bed by his and laid on it.
"It's late. You really should—"
"Remind me what you're doing right now? Maybe I would if my brother set a better example."
He must've realized that it wasn't worth fighting over. Sighing, he snuffed out the candle, closed the book, and tried his best to get some sleep too.
The reason she came in here was so then she knew she wasn't alone. It didn't make her any more willing to sleep, knowing who would be there waiting for an answer in her dreams. She still wasn't ready to make her decision.
It wasn't until after she knew Alfonse was asleep that she got up again. Maybe she'd find some place outside to sit and think. No better way to see if she'd accurately mapped out where the guards are when then by getting past them, right?
…
Finally, after a day and a half, she realized she wasn't going to be able to just not sleep until she found an answer. Henriette was probably relieved to know that she was asleep right now, though she didn't know if she was.
She took a moment before opening the doors to the throne room, and was surprised to see more than just Freyr there. Freyja, Mirabilis, Plumeria, Peony, and Triandra (the latter two fitting in with them in appearance; they must not have waited for her answer before taking up the offer themselves) were there as well, and all six looked up in greeting when she entered.
"Sharena," Freyr breathed, relief clear in his voice as he went over to her. "We were worried for you."
"He was worried about you," Plumeria corrected matter-of-factly from the corner. "I, personally, couldn't have cared less if you—" It was Freyja's glare that made her stop mid-sentence, choosing not to even try correcting the thought.
Freyr completely ignored her altogether. "It wasn't a decision you were meant to make." He only looked at Sharena, bending down to be at eye level with her. "Freyja stepped out of line with this one. I apologize for allowing her to make you think you had to pick a side."
((A/N: Probably one of the longest chapters in the entire series! I wanted to get this much done before starting on the next part… this memory thing in general is taking a lot longer than I thought it would.
Thought time! I can't tell who triggered baby Sharena's mental breakdown, Mirabilis or Freyja. On one had, Mirabilis was the one who decided she was ready for "unfamiliarity=fear=hurt" thing, but Freyja's the one who brought up the idea of Sharena having to chose in the first place…))
