A/N: The room featured in this chapter was included courtesy of Gs33022. His fic "What Could Have Been", a novelization of Roald Dahl's original envisioning of the 1971 film, included a fan-made segment where Mr. Wonka briefly takes Charlie and Grandpa Joe to this place. (I know that "fan-made" in a novelization's plot makes no sense at face value, but if you read the fic itself, you'll understand. There were a few lost spots that Gabe and a few other members of this fandom had to fill in.) Of course, credit goes posthumously to Roald Dahl, too, having come up with the initial concept of this factory room before it was cut from the 1971 movie.
The name "Loompaland Zoo" belongs to an anonymous guest who suggested it to Gs33022 for a room in an unrelated fic he has in progress. The descriptions of the animals themselves belong to Gs33022, most of which in turn were based off of a few of Quentin Blake's illustrations. The scenery, which was not included in the "What Could Have Been" chapter, is mine. I also included a different animal that featured in another part of "What Could Have Been" (a minor spoiler, I know, but unavoidable for crediting necessities).
Oh, and with Finals Week almost here, I should have a lot of time freed up soon to post the next chapters, as opposed to all of the busy campus things that took up the meat of this semester and limited my spare activities. In other words, this wait was an outlier, I promise.
Once inside the Wonkavator, Charlie could see that the interior had large panel windows for looking out. Astonished, he gazed out of them, even though there was nothing to see outside at the moment. This was definitely distinct from an ordinary elevator.
It seemed as if Mr. Wonka was reading Charlie's thoughts about this. Upon seeing Charlie gazing everywhere around the interior, Mr. Wonka informed him, "I named this device the Wonkavator. I know that it looks like an exotic elevator, but the Wonkavator can go in absolutely any direction."
Charlie turned to him. "Any?"
"That's right. It can go up and down like an elevator, but also forwards, backwards, side-to-side, and even inter-dimensionally, although I haven't tested out that last one."
Violet looked at the selection of rooms listed next to where she was standing. All of them, from the Testing Room to the Taffy-Pulling Room to the Inventing Room, definitely sounded like business areas that were verboten. She noticed Fizzy Lemonade Swimming Pools in the selection, and while that definitely sounded permitted, and she of course had a bathing suit available in her closet, she hoped that that room would be passed over. Who would want to get lemonade in their hair?
As if on cue, she overheard Mr. Wonka beginning to tell Charlie just the thing about the limitations. "I know that I have said it before, my dear Charlie, but I am limiting the available rooms on today's mini-tour so that I still will be able to keep—"
Violet groaned. "He's so ridiculously paranoid that anybody could be a spy that he's not going to let you in most of the factory. I'm speaking from personal experience!" she blurted out to Charlie.
Mr. Wonka leaned towards her slowly, keeping a straight, businesslike face. "You should enunciate your syllables more profoundly if you wish to be understood."
Violet closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She began to take a few steps towards Charlie and speak as slowly as she could. "I said, he's so ridiculously paranoid that—"
THWICK! Mr. Wonka stopped any further walking by flicking his cane diagonally in front of her, without actually making any physical contact. Seeing that this matched the dangerously close proximity to another type of cane that she had seen for the same attitude (although this was not Mr. Wonka's intention by any means), Violet finally shushed.
Mr. Wonka looked at Charlie again and retracted the walking cane. "As I was saying, a lot of my factory is unsuitable for guests for the time being. By all means, though, you may pick any approved room that you wish. All of them are accessible just by pressing one of these buttons along the side and near the ceiling. Please tell me which one you have in mind, though, as I'll need to approve it first."
Charlie peered by the handrail where he happened to be standing. He could read plenty of labels: Spotty Powder, Cotton Candy Floss, Golden Eggs for Easter, Warming Candies. One in particular caught his attention because it seemed so unusual to be featured in a chocolate factory. The button was on the far right-hand side of that particular panel and was labeled, Loompaland Zoo.
He pointed curiously. "Is this one okay?"
Mr. Wonka nodded and grinned. "Would you like to see it?"
"Sure!" Charlie smiled back.
"Then go ahead!"
Charlie pressed the button enthusiastically. The Wonkavator began to rattle.
By instinct, Violet grabbed onto the railing. Mr. Wonka did the same. He was just about to instruct Charlie to do so, when the contraption suddenly leapt sideways, knocking Charlie onto the floor. Quickly, he grabbed the railing, with both hands, while still sprawled on the ground.
"This is wild!" he called over the noise of the Wonkavator rushing. He was visibly struggling to hoist himself back up, never mind getting back on his feet.
Mr. Wonka looked down and grinned. "I said that the Wonkavator can go in any direction imaginable," he called back. "What did you expect?"
The Wonkavator switched to moving upwards after a few seconds, finally enabling Charlie to get back up. He grabbed onto the railing tightly to prevent any further knock-arounds and kept himself in position for the rest of the ride, which consisted of a moderate drop and a few zigzags.
Finally, with a DING, it was over. Mr. Wonka stepped to the door to open it and headed out. Charlie followed after him. Violet was looking around at a few other panel groups and needed a prompting from Mr. Wonka to get her attention again to leave. She noticed that the button for the Chocolate Room, which they had just left, was installed on a small panel by the ceiling. She saw also that there was an outlier button nearby that appeared to be surrounded by a red ring. The display stuck out like a sore thumb and was completely unmarked. She figured that it wasn't important, probably just to call an intercom system in case of an emergency or something.
A bunch of animal noises could be heard in this room; not enough to call them a cacophony, but still noticeable and hard to identify. Families of Oompa-Loompas in their native deerskin and leaves garb could be seen wandering about the gigantic room, merely visiting. The walls and ceiling were painted forest green, and fluorescent lighting could be seen here and there. The floor was brown carpet, and the main walking path had glowing leaf shapes scattered in its pattern, made more visible with the help of the fluorescent lights positioned near the animals' very much enclosed pens.
Speaking of the pens, they held no ordinary creatures. The first enclosure on display contained a miniature watering hole with bushes; overall about the size of a school gymnasium. A small herd of what could best be described as three ankylosaur-like beasts with crocodile snouts were inside. All three were covered in spikes and had a horn growing out of them like a rhinoceros. Of course, as is mandatory for any comparison to an ankylosaur, the animals had clubbed tails as well. Two of the enclosure's residents were sleeping by the bushes, while the third was wading in the watering hole.
Charlie pointed to the enclosure. "What are those, Mr. Wonka?"
"Oh! Do you remember when I told you that there were such dangerous creatures as hornswogglers, snozzwangers, whangdoodles, and vermicious knids that would prey on Oompa-Loompas by the dozens back in Loompaland?"
Charlie nodded nervously.
Mr. Wonka cocked his head to the enclosure. "These are hornswogglers."
At that moment, the wading hornswoggler looked up and saw the three humans standing within view. Thinking that it was about to fetch some lunch, it lunged towards them but slammed into the bars instead, just a dozen or so centimeters away. Charlie and Violet flinched in scared surprise.
"Sheesh!" Charlie exclaimed. "I can see why they were a threat to the Oompa-Loompas!"
Violet was chewing her gum at the fastest pace she ever had.
"Indeed," Mr. Wonka answered. "Their teeth are sharp enough to crush an adult Oompa-Loompa into a pulpy mess in one bite, or so a poor Oompa-Loompa who had to witness it happening to a family friend years ago in Loompaland told me!"
Charlie noticed another enclosure just catty-corner to this one, at a bit of a distance. He prompted Mr. Wonka if they could head over there, and so the trio did.
This one was slightly smaller than the place where the hornswogglers were kept and was also barred for security purposes. There was no mock watering hole here, instead a few tall palm trees and some boulders covered in moss. A giant water dish carved out of a flat boulder could be seen off to the right-hand side. As for the creatures themselves, there were four of them. They all had lean bodies covered in long, hideous, curly hairs. Small, pointed ears, like a bat's, protruded beside the herd's eyes. The animals' mouths were most unusual; they consisted of a bottom lip that more resembled an elephant's trunk and a top lip that had extremely sharp, yellow teeth coming out of it.
"These are snozzwangers," Mr. Wonka introduced. "They're slightly less dangerous than hornswogglers, but that is hardly saying much."
All four of the snozzwangers were facing away from the guests, one of the closest snozzwangers at a sideways angle. One was drinking from the flattened boulder, while the rest were just pacing.
Suddenly, a soft, whirring noise could be heard, and a very long, medium-width, black tube could be seen descending from the open roof of the enclosure. Charlie and Violet looked up. They could see an Oompa-Loompa dressed in a hazmat suit, perched on a large ledge atop the enclosure, safely out of reach of the snozzwangers. He was clutching the end of the tube, which was connected to a canister vacuum, and moved it about very slowly.
Mr. Wonka saw Charlie in particular glancing at the Oompa-Loompa and saw fit to explain. "It must be time for maintenance," said Mr. Wonka. "Nobody ever goes into the enclosures to clean them—it's far too dangerous—so we have to utilize other tactics."
"What's with the hazmat suit?" asked Charlie.
"A snozzwanger's breath is disgusting enough for him to need to wear one," said Mr. Wonka.
The tube maneuvered the floor of part of the enclosure for a moment before stumbling across a small pile of what appeared to be little purple-and-black striped pyramid shapes, about the size of bottle caps. The Oompa-Loompa then proceeded to suck them up. This was a zoo with unusual animals, so could that possibly be…no, both children felt it better not to ask.
The mini group moved on to yet another enclosure, which was about ten meters away. Violet had an unsettling thought as they paced. "Hey, Mr. Wonka," she asked smartly, "you said that these creatures were predators of those little guys. How do you feed the animals in this zoo? Do you just sample your workers at random and toss them in?"
Normally, Mr. Wonka was not one to give horrified looks, but he gave Violet a very brief one as he heard her smarmy question. Would he actually do that to the beloved Oompa-Loompas?! Of course not; how utterly barbaric! He straightened his face and gave his answer in a calm demeanor, though.
"Violet, I presume that you have seen crocodiles at regular zoos?"
"Yes," Violet answered, as if she thought that this was a stupid question. "They're in every zoo I've heard of! There are even regional sections that feature them!"
"A few crocodile species eat humans. Nile crocodiles are most prominent for that. Do zoo staff ever throw guests into the applicable crocodile enclosures when feeding time is nigh?"
"No, of course not."
"Correct. They have other food sources, and the same is true of Loompaland's man-eating predators. Several times a day, processed food from native wildlife, some of it herbivorous, is tossed in from the same high ledge where you saw the cleaning occur."
Violet frowned, utterly embarrassed. She, Mr. Wonka, and Charlie continued their steps to the enclosure where they had been heading.
This next enclosure, despite being about as big as the other two, contained only one animal. It was much larger than a hornswoggler or a snozzwanger, easily about twice as tall as Mr. Wonka when measured quadrupedally. Its tail, which was swaying a bit, was shaped like a cartoon version of a lightning bolt. The creature had three eyes, bony limbs, and sharp claws. There wasn't a lot of fur on its body, but the few visible clumps, all scattered around its back, looked like large masses of mold.
"This is a whangdoodle," Mr. Wonka explained. "They are in fact the most dangerous animal in the entire country, far more than hornswogglers and snozzwangers combined. As you can see, there is barely any habitat beyond grass recreated here. This is because a whangdoodle's tail is strong enough to split a tree in two. I had to make sure that the bars covering the enclosure were extra durable." He indicated a collection of dents in them. "These are the spots where it has swung its tail."
Charlie gasped as he saw them. Regular steel was how strong already?
"It had to be housed singly for two reasons," Mr. Wonka went on. "Besides the reason of being too aggressively dangerous for the Oompa-Loompas and me to handle multiples, whangdoodles are also extremely territorial. They hunt in solidarity and are dangerously stressed out when having to share the same area with another of their kind, save for occasional springtime mating that lasts only an hour before they split for good. If we put two or more of them in here, they would fight until they killed each other, and that quite possibly would collapse the whole habitat."
They moved along to an enclosure that was filled with mud on the ground. Large, shady leaves hung low to the ground, and in back, there was a mock watershed that trickled a bit of water ever so slightly out of it to keep the mud wet. The rest of the ground was solid but rather moist.
Before any of them could get close enough to observe the inhabitant(s), they overheard an Oompa-Loompa family who was standing nearby, taking no notice of Mr. Wonka's two guests. An Oompa-Loompa grandmother, dressed in only a leaf skirt and a leaf lei, was visiting with two Oompa-Loompa parents and their three children, the father in a deerskin slung over his shoulder while the mother also had the same leaf garb. The children were wearing nothing.
The grandmother pointed backwards towards the enclosure. "This was the fearsome sort of creature I had to face when I was but your father's age. As it approached in a sneak attack on the ground near the village, I knew that it was either the vermicious knid or me. I had no fear, though, and faster than you can say, 'cocoa bean', I fashioned a rope out of twigs and flask. I swung the rope towards it, knocked it unconscious immediately, tied the creature to the rope, and spent the next few days playing with the predator like it was one of the amiable creatures. The blow must have done something to the vermicious knid's head, as the arguably deserving-of-it thing never desired to attack any of us again. It lived as our brief pet, as peaceably as a pygmy elephant, until dying from natural causes weeks later, at which point I hung it in triumph outside the hut, the first Oompa-Loompa ever to triumph over a vermicious knid!" She paused to collect herself from the excitement. "I'd show you what remains have survived, but somebody stole the body the next week. I never got the trophy back."
The three Oompa-Loompa children, who were no more than about five or six years old, believed this story immediately and were awed. The parents, however, looked embarrassed. The father scowled and slapped the grandmother on the back. "MO-OM!" he scolded, dragging out the word for emphasis.
"Okay, okay!" she pouted. "I was terrified for my life and just smashed the creature with a large rock in self-defense. Nothing exciting happened." She frowned in disappointment. So did the children.
Mr. Wonka, Charlie, and Violet proceeded further to the enclosure to see just which type of beast was inside. They could see a long, thick, wormlike thing, about two meters long and as thick as a fit human leg. The creature looked like a mix between a leech and a giant African earthworm. It was squirming about in the mud, apparently an amphibious sort of invertebrate.
"This is a vermicious knid," explained Mr. Wonka. "They slither very fast and have the capability to suck their prey drier than a leech once clung onto."
As he said this, the lone vermicious knid lifted its front segment and opened its maw. Rows of thousands of sharp, tiny teeth could be seen. The creature then ducked its head (for lack of a better way of phrasing it) back into the water, apparently having merely yawned.
Charlie turned to Mr. Wonka. "With all due respect, Mr. Wonka, does this room have any animals on display that aren't dangerous predators? I feel sorrier now for the Oompa-Loompas having to have faced them before you brought them here."
"Ah! I'm glad you asked!" Mr. Wonka answered excitedly. "Over here, if you'll follow me, is a herd of Loompaland creatures so friendly that you can interact with them!"
He led them over to what appeared to be a hybrid between a petting zoo pen and a jungle habitat. The whole thing was open-air, enclosed by only a green, low-rise fence. The ground on the inside was covered with soft moss, and a few large-leafed plants were dotted around. As for the animals themselves, they looked quite familiar.
"They're baby Indian elephants," Violet insisted, crossing her arms.
"Wrong!" Mr. Wonka corrected cheerfully. "These are adult pygmy elephants from Loompaland! The two are extremely different species."
An Oompa-Loompa dressed in the familiar factory outfit that included white overalls was standing near the pen, looking at two Oompa-Loompa children riding in their birthday suits on one of the elephants. "Okay, time is up now! I can help you unlock the gate if you need."
Both of them groaned. "Can't we have a few more minutes?" asked one.
"You saw the sign," responded the employee.
"I had trouble getting on it, though! You owe us more time!" protested the same child.
"Aripatchi, please don't argue!" their mother, dressed in leaves, called from outside the pen. "If you are wise, you'll listen to the man!"
This was enough to get the brothers' attention. They helped each other slowly off of the pygmy elephant and walked to the gate. The pen itself was spacious enough for all of the elephants to wander about comfortably, with room to spare.
Once they were out, the mother turned to head them elsewhere and caught sight of Mr. Wonka. "Oh, good morning, Mr. Wonka!" she greeted enthusiastically. "I wasn't expecting you here at this time of the week. And this must be…Violet?"
Mr. Wonka nodded.
"How did you know about me?" Violet snapped.
"My brother helped Mr. Wonka to rearrange the spare lodging for you."
Violet just stared silently.
The Oompa-Loompa woman bowed her head. "I'm Hopni, and these are my sons, Aripatchi and Subfron. Who is the other guest with you?"
"Charlie," Violet answered simply.
"He's looking around a few of the safe spots, just for today," Mr. Wonka clarified. He leaned further to Hopni. "I wouldn't get my hopes up just yet, but this visit with him has turned out to be promising so far, from what I have seen all morning."
Hopni grinned. Charlie and Violet just looked at each other in confusion.
Just then, one of her children gestured to another pen. "Well, I'd best get going. The kids are being quite energetic," Hopni told Mr. Wonka. They exchanged pleasant see-you-laters.
Once the trio were more or less by themselves again, Charlie asked, "Mr. Wonka, you said that these animals were available for interaction. How can we?"
Mr. Wonka gestured happily to two food bins posted by the fence. One held stalks of hay, while the other contained bits and pieces of exotic vegetables that were found only in Loompaland. Beside these open-air bins was an unrelated sign reading, "Elephant-Back Riding Load Limit 1 Adult OR 2 Children. Time Limit 5 Minutes. No More Than 6 Ridden Elephants At A Time.", in three paragraphs (one per sentence), without the punctuation, as is common on instruction signs.
"The load limit refers to Oompa-Loompas, so riding is not an option, but you still can feed them. Go ahead, take a small handful of hay or vegetables!"
Charlie reached into the hay bin and pulled out a small clump. He then proceeded to reach past the fence, allowing a nearby pygmy elephant to reach out with its trunk and grab the hay.
Violet did the same with a small piece of what looked like a shriveled, yellow star. She couldn't tell just what kind of odd vegetable this was supposed to be. Another elephant grabbed this and ate it when Violet reached it into the pen.
Charlie decided to do it again with the exotic food bin this time, since it captured his attention with what odd assortment it contained. Meanwhile, Violet stood beside him and stretched out her gum, letting it bounce into her fingertips upon tearing.
This proved to be the wrong time to do so. Her hand was low enough to the top of the fence to catch the attention of a young pygmy elephant in her blind spot. Seeing how Violet was pinching the gum in that one quick moment, the elephant mistook the sticky wad for another treat that was being handed out. Before Violet realized what was happening, the elephant stretched out its trunk and snatched the gum, preparing to eat it.
"HEY! THAT ISN'T YOURS, YOU NITWIT!" Violet yelled. She climbed onto the lowest bar of the small fence, leaned forward, and reached out. She managed to seize the elephant's trunk and snatch back her gum before it vanished into the elephant's mouth and disappeared forever…right before she tumbled into the pen itself. The whole thing happened too fast for Mr. Wonka to stop it, although the initial yelling at the elephant caught the attention of him, Charlie, and the Oompa-Loompa manning the pen.
Violet felt around frantically for her gum, finally finding it not far from where the elephant had stood. After retrieving the gum, she stood back up, walked over to the gate, unlocked it, and stepped out, locking it again. Mr. Wonka, meanwhile, was apologizing to the Oompa-Loompa.
"Count yourself lucky that that wasn't one of the predators' pens," Mr. Wonka told her sternly but calmly once she was back out.
Violet just shrugged as if ignoring this. She examined her gum for any dirt to pick off (finding only a tiny chip of mulch) before resuming her chewing. The Oompa-Loompa gave her a disgusted look that she couldn't see, due to not facing him.
She then carefully looked all around herself at the areas where her outfit had come into contact with the pen's ground. Phew! No moss stains anywhere.
"I think we had best move along to another room now. Don't you think so, Charlie?" Mr. Wonka asked, turning to Charlie for confirmation.
"I'd love to see another one, but I have my newspaper route to do. What time is it?"
Mr. Wonka pulled out a pocket watch that had Mayan numerals printed on the face. "It's just a little past eleven o'clock. You have time for at least one more room before you have to go."
"Great!" Charlie grinned. "I might come back after it, depending on how much daylight I'll have, but more time right now is excellent!"
Mr. Wonka put away the pocket watch. "Come along, then. The Wonkavator is in the same spot where we left it, if you wish to take it again."
They hustled away from the pygmy elephant pen and passed a few more friendly creatures without pausing to look at them. "By the way, after hours here, the nice animals are let out of their enclosures to wander around freely. It gives them some exercise."
"Mr. Wonka, the Loompaland Zoo reminds me of a Dr. Seuss book I once read," said Charlie. "This little boy wants to take over the local zoo and fill it with all sorts of unusual creatures, just like the ones featured here. They have such wild names as 'iota', 'gasket', 'proo', 'seersucker', and 'nerd'."
"Well, that's an interesting coincidence, as I don't believe I've ever read that book," replied Mr. Wonka. He paused in thought. "Those do sound like interesting names, though…especially that 'nerd'. Why, that sounds like just the perfect name for a new candy! I'll have to be sure to jot that down."
They awaited the Wonkavator again once approaching the door. Mr. Wonka and his two guests stepped inside once again when it arrived.
