Uchiha Satsuki couldn't remember a time he wasn't there.

even when he used to go on long, hard missions, when he used to come back home soaked in blood, when he was shaking and trying to breath under bed covers in the middle of the night….

he was always there.

but not like this.

when he wasn't busy, he was so exhausted that she felt guilty to ask for help or training.

he zoned out a lot, and when she asked what he was thinking about, he poked her forehead and said nothing. He left for missions with an assuring smile, and came back with a broken one.

but he was always there.

then, it happened and he suddenly wouldn't go.

she wasn't sure it was a good thing or not.

He was sometimes the brother she remembered. He wandered around, did his chores, joked and smiled. He poked her in the forehead. He was the smart, perfect, perfect brother she remembered. and… and...

and sometimes he just wasn't.

Sometimes he was lost in their own house. unaware and numb. like a blank page. whenever she asked him something, he would just blink and walk away, like he'd forgotten her existence.

he was… different. If she irritated him enough, her gentle, gentle brother would hiss in annoyance threateningly, and release waves of his horrifying killing intent.

Then, he wouldn't talk to her, just glared with rage and disappointment the whole day in silence, until she surrendered, and begged for his forgiveness.

He could fill her with sheer happiness. with his calm, gentle presence.

Sometimes he paralyzed her with fear.

he was wandering around the house that night. again. even from the farthest point of the house, she could hear his footsteps shuffling on the floorboard. Sometimes they were heavy and purposeless. but that day, they were horrified. lost. searching for who-knows-what. with small groans echoing all around the empty, silent house, every few minutes..

up and down, from one room to another. closing and opening the doors.

she couldn't take it anymore.

she threw the blanket away violently and got up.

"what's the problem, Itachi?" she said, standing in the doorstep. He was still, kneeling on the kitchen's floor in front of the cabinets. His silhouette turned at once to face her.

"I can't find the towel." he said, looking straight into her eyes, and not seeing her.

"what do you want the towel for?" she asked, trying not to seem impatient.

" I can't find the towel," he whispered, more to himself than her. "I used to find everything everyone had lost."

how could she respond, really?

"it used to be on the second drawer, I guess." she broke it with sheer effort. Itachi flinched

"yeah. you're right."

he finally found the said piece of cloth, picked up the largest bowl possible, and put it under flowing water.

Its burbling voice was the only sound audible.

"what are you planning to do with that?" she asked again.

"scrub the floor." he simply said.

He waited patiently, until the bowl was full, and picked It up carefully. she got out of his way, and followed him to the living room soundlessly.

Itachi kneeled on the same spot they once did. He soaked the cloth in the water, wrung it out, and started scrubbing.

scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing, soaking the towel, wringing, scrubbing, scrubbing...

she watched him working in darkness, but couldn't find the words to tell him that there wasn't any blood left on the flaky floor.

not anymore.

there were no such things as day and night in the Uchiha household.

curtains were always pulled tight. He didn't like the light, and firmly believed that his flickering figure would fade instantly If they let the bright rays of sunshine in.

In his opinion, daylight was annoying, windows were just as unnecessary, Uchiha are identical with moonlight pale skin color and…

and the dead don't need to know the time.

but Satsuki wasn't dead. at least not yet. and she had to start her day, eat breakfast and go to the academy in a routine. she technically needed to finish her day routinely, too.

every night, she would go to bed, and her brother's deliberate footsteps would get closer and closer, until they stop at her doorstep. he would lean on the cold walls, and she would curl herself even more under cold, cold blankets, trying to sleep under Itachi's unwavering gaze. sometimes she would succeed, sometimes not.

She sometimes stayed up all night, counting his small, almost nonexistent breaths. And always, she would wake up to his steady, tireless gaze.

until one day, the footsteps didn't stop. They continued their way to her bed, not missing a bit.

"brother…?" Itachi ignored her completely. that was not how it always worked!

Itachi lifted the blanket and his cold, slender figure slid next to her.

"It's cold." he said. "I'm very cold." Satsuki's heart was racing a mile per second.

"let me stay. please."

Satsuki breathed even harder. she gave a little nod, still shocked by the sudden change. his tired, hollow onyx eyes were staring right into her. they were close. too close.

she closed her eyes, and expected his figure to vanish from her vision, to surrender to the darkness behind her eyelids, but It didn't. He stayed behind his closed eyelids covered in a still blood stained ANBU uniform and…

his hand touched the blade of her shoulder. she felt electricity running down her body.

she gasped. "wha…"

"shhhh.." his hand continued his way to her back, pulling her closer in his freezing embrace. "you're warm," he said.

she couldn't respond, through her chattering teeth.

he never stopped in the doorstep after that night.

he didn't do anything. just lie there, embracing her hard. watching her like she would vanish at any second.

It was a sign of love. Of pure affection. she was feeling the same thing, so she knew how it was. she understood.

but every night, curling under the blankets. she wished, prayed to every god for him to not come. to forget. just this once.

he never did.

It was suffocating.

Uchiha house, once happy and alive, now was dark. and suffocating. everything… his constant gaze was suffocating. The smell of Iron and blood was suffocating. the darkness, the silence, the DeathDeathDeath…

him!

I can't take it!

she packed to leave. she took everything she thought she couldn't find in another -any- house in the Uchiha compound.

she was determined, until she heard the voice.

"you are leaving." her hand froze on the door handle. that voice... "you're abandoning me."

silence.

"I'm sorry," She forced the words out of her hoarse throat. "But I have to."

He just stared at her back. saying nothing. for a minute. or an hour.

It was hard to tell.

"don't leave me alone." he whispered, his voice shaking desperately. "please... don't leave me alone, Satsuki."

"I have to." she squeezed the cold handle in her hand. "please, understand!"

Please. let me go!

"You're leaving me...here?" He breathed shakily. "You're leaving me alone with...them?"

Them… the ghosts.

Dark, dark silence.

"I understand." he mumbled, and she flinched. "I'm...sorry. I kept you here... it sure is hard for you. it was all my fault. you... I'm sorry. selfish. you... need to go. so… selfish. so… sorry."

his voice shattered. just like her heart.

I can't...breath. I… can't… leave him

"bother." she called. "brother, I won't…'

"NO! No you have to go! I can't do this to you. I...I will manage. I'm sorry...sorry."

"brother." she said again, and turned to look at him. He was shaking! she freed her backpack's strap of her shoulder, hurrying toward his panting silhouette.

"I won't be going! I won't, see? 'm here. I'm always here. see? I won't leave you alone with them. you wouldn't have…. I know. I'm sorry. stop... calm down, okay? I'm sorry. brother, I'm s...so sorry. please... for me. I promise... yes, I promise..."

she'd never tried to leave him after that.

she could endure the painful wails echoing through the house, or sleepless nights under the cold blanket. but she couldn't stand this. his scared, hopeless sobs. his shaking figure in her arms.

not once more.

she stares into the stone, silver plate and remembers.

"she is not in a condition to…"

"she has to. the way they found her... people need to know she really is grieving. or they'll view her as a suspect for the rest of her life. it's unavoidable. Uchiha Satsuki has to attend her parent's funeral, and grieve."

there were a lot of them there. some for their precious people who were unlucky enough to be an Uchiha, and some just to quench their curiosity.

but all of them were watching her. obviously or furtively.

the wind is breezing pleasantly, ruffling through her short, badly cut hair.

she kneeled to put the camelia flowers right under the dear, beautiful name engraved on the stone. she didn't know what the flower represented, but he liked them. that was enough.

it wasn't raining, like the sky was mocking them. but it had, the day before. she knew from the wet mud soaking in her black pants.

that night was fresh in her mind. Itachi's figure, coated in blood and his katana, aimed in the wrong direction.

she realized people were looking at her with funny expressions, but...it took her a few seconds to notice how loud she was screaming.

he sure is lonely, a forgotten name on a silver stone, she thought for a second.

She opens the paper door with a soft voice. "tadaima." she says. struggling with her shoes. when takes them off, she puts them neatly aside, and walks inside the living room.

"okaeri." her dead brother smiles at her.

and she smiles back.

"w..why? why, brother?"

he looked down at her scared, shaking figure. something wet was shining in the corner of his eyes.

"Satsuki."

he raised his katana, she gasped.

"close your eyes."

she couldn't. she didn't want to die...didn't...didn't…

"come on. I know you can do it. close your eyes." His voice was gentle. He could do this. make you believe everything is alright when the world is collapsing around them.

she closed them. waiting. shaking.

"forgive me. please."

she screamed.

The katana thrust through the wrong heart.

he was gone.

but he wasn't.