A/N: The room featured in this chapter was originally created by mattTheWriter072 and used with permission. The original version can be found in his fic titled "From Deserts To Desserts", as well as in one chapter in his "Next In Line". Credit also goes to MysteriousMaker1185 for originally coming up with a few elements in the original Dirt Desert that were transferred over here (specifically, the cookie crumb sand, the oasis, the geysers, the Oompa-Loompa Sphinx, and the Quickaramel). Granted, since this is set in the 1971 universe, while Matt's original use was set in the 2005 universe, I have made some changes here and there. Perhaps most notably, I left out the sugary-ranking spoofs of the Food Pyramid because the real Food Pyramid hadn't been created yet, but I hope that the pyramids I added to replace them are still plenty clever. (Just so everyone knows, I actually don't have a particular version preference, unlike most people in this fandom. I just use the best fit for the story's situation.)
I had a birthday between posting the previous chapter and now, so Gs33022, your review of the last chapter was unknowingly a sort of early birthday present! I couldn't help but notice the coincidental numerical connection, too; I got a lovely review of Chapter 21 just days before I turned 21! :-D
Oh, and did anyone catch the little joke about a certain Wonka candy at the end of the previous chapter?
The second time Charlie entered the Wonkavator, he noticed that the strip by the ceiling also had button panels with rooms listed. It wasn't too surprising, he figured, given that Mr. Wonka had said that the contraption could go anywhere in the factory. As an added bonus, this part of the Wonkavator was still reachable to Charlie, although he would have to stand on his tiptoes.
He also noticed the unmarked button that had a red ring surrounding it. "Mr. Wonka, where does this go?" he thought to ask, pointing at it.
Mr. Wonka shrugged and smiled. "I'll be befuddled if I know. I've never pushed it, and there's no label." Of course, this was just an eccentric dodge.
Charlie accepted this non-answer and continued looking. Violet did, too, but by a handrail. After noticing that a bunch of off-limits production rooms seemed to be grouped there, she changed her focus to the same area where Charlie was looking.
They agreed mutually on a room called the Dirt Desert, although Violet felt this to be a restricted and rather reluctant agreement. Since Charlie had pressed the button to go to the Loompaland Zoo, Mr. Wonka allowed Violet to do the honors this time.
Charlie grabbed onto a side railing along with Violet and Mr. Wonka, now that the boy knew what was about to happen. Ironically enough, this time, the Wonkavator started moving up like a normal elevator (albeit traveling faster) as its first direction, hence temporarily reducing the need to hold one's firmest grip. The other directions after a few seconds, however, still required a tight hold.
When the Wonkavator stopped, Mr. Wonka opened the door and stood by it. This was a rather new room on the premises, prompting his wanting to do a little introduction.
"Vosotros dos, cuando saléis del Wonkascensor, encontraréis el Desierto De Tierra. Él es uno de los cuartos más nuevos de toda mi fábrica y tomó muchos meses a construir."
Neither of the children understood a word. While Charlie was a good sport about this, much like he had been when Mr. Wonka had spoken to him in Japanese earlier, Violet was getting annoyed.
"We're not Oompa-Loompas, Mr. Wonka. If they speak their own native language and it just comes out of you by habit, you can stop now!" Violet huffed.
Mr. Wonka tapped very gently on his right ear. "Enuncia, por favor. He perdido un poco del oído por mi oreja derecha," he informed Violet. He did not correct her in that he most definitely was not talking in Oompa-Loompish, despite her abrupt jump to conclusions.
Violet still could not understand a word that Mr. Wonka had said, which was quite appropriate, because he had just told her exactly this implicitly. Deciding that she was not going to get through to him, Violet stopped talking and just let Mr. Wonka continue, hopefully in English again.
Her hope was granted when Mr. Wonka resumed speaking. "Yes, I am quite proud of the effort put into this room. However, while explorable, I feel that it is best to do so under careful watch, due to a few areas. You'll see what I mean when you encounter some of the bric-a-brac." He gestured them outside and then followed them into the room.
Both guests could feel immediately that the floor in this room was unusually soft. They looked down. The floor appeared to be sand, but something about it seemed off. Curious, Charlie kneeled, took a pinch of it, and resisted the urge to taste it, just in case. "Are these crumbs?"
"Yes!" Mr. Wonka answered. "From vanilla cookies! They're completely edible, too!"
Charlie smiled and ate the pinch that he had collected.
Violet saw cacti that obviously were made of spearmint scattered straight ahead. "So, this is just like that other room you showed us," she noted as a statement.
"It is not," said Mr. Wonka, matter-of-factly. "It's a recreation of a desert instead of a meadow, and you may eat only parts of this place. Nor does the Chocolate Room feature candy animals."
"Why is this called the Dirt Desert if it's made with sand?" asked Charlie.
"It's a play on a treat called 'dirt dessert'," answered Mr. Wonka. "A dirt dessert is a treat made with gummi worms that are buried inside smashed cookies, although I don't have any worms here."
The three of them stepped further inward. As the entrance via Wonkavator was by a wall, they could see a painted-on set of sand dunes and sky where the cookie crumb sand ended at said wall. An Oompa-Loompa was pouring a pail of crumbs into a somewhat bald spot near the wall's corner. Beside him was a second pail, full of whole cookies, presumably to be smashed and poured as well.
It didn't take long before Charlie and Violet realized that they were walking on a dune. Not even two dozen steps inward, Charlie felt the cookie crumbs under his feet giving way. Startled, he looked down and saw that he was standing by the ledge of a mock sand dune, the slide to the ground being a good three-meter fall. He took a few backward steps.
Mr. Wonka pointed his cane to a wide staircase near them. It was easily visible because it was not covered in the cookie crumbs. Thankfully, a railing also was present.
"Thank you, Mr. Wonka!" said Charlie as he followed his idol to the steps. Violet followed Charlie, the three of them spaced as if in single file.
The staircase curled around the dune, rather than going straight down. At the bottom, the rim of the dune was poised far above their heads. Charlie could see the part that he had dislodged, which had landed in a little clump on the bottom step.
"I'm sorry about that, Mr. Wonka," he apologized, pointing to the clump by his feet. "If you'd like, I could carry these crumbs back up and set them back in place, or—"
"It happens all the time when Oompa-Loompas walk near there. Don't worry about it. Besides, anyone may eat the sand if they wish, so it gets replaced constantly. That's part of the purpose."
Now that everybody was off of the dune, they could see the landscape that it had been obstructing. More spearmint cacti were in the artificial sand, but these weren't of notice. What really were eye-grabbing in this room were the structures. One-third scale replicas of pyramids, all but one of which were made of marshmallows, were positioned here and there. A tree and a statue were in different places near the pyramids, but these two bits of scenery were just far enough to need to be approached further to make out exactly what they were. They will be discussed momentarily.
The group walked up to a marshmallow pyramid. The unusually white color aside, it may have appeared to an onlooker at first glance to be made of ordinary limestone, but one careful, up-close look would prove this assumption to be wrong. You see, the marshmallows forming the pyramid's structure were not the regular size. They were enormous, about the size of actual limestone rocks. White agar served as the agent cementing them together.
Violet reached over and poked one of the marshmallows at the base to check if it actually was a marshmallow. It felt like one. It hadn't even gone hard.
"This pyramid is for decoration only," clarified Mr. Wonka. "You do not have permission to nibble on it. I actually think that it's quite clever how I applied a connection to the idea."
Both Charlie and Violet looked at him. "How was that?" asked Charlie.
"Marshmallows are actually older than most people think," answered Mr. Wonka. "It has been inferred by historians that the Ancient Egyptians were the first to make marshmallows, and then only for the medicinal value that they were believed to have possessed at the time. Only the royalty—that is, the pharaoh and his family and consorts—were allowed to eat them, and since pyramids also were made for the royalty, I decided to apply these connections here. Of course, a liberty had to be taken; marshmallows in their modern, candied shape first appeared over a century ago, but their appearance in Ancient Egypt has been long lost to history, so I had to go with this."
"Is there anything inside them?" Charlie asked, now fully intrigued.
"Admittedly not," said Mr. Wonka. "I do have one limestone pyramid, larger than the rest, that has an interior, but it's the only one. All in good time!"
They started walking again, when suddenly, Violet felt something scurrying by her leg. She looked down and saw an unnaturally green scorpion dangerously close by. She shrieked.
"There may be little surprises around here, Violet, but don't worry, that scorpion is perfectly harmless," Mr. Wonka explained to calm her. "Some of the Oompa-Loompas made it out of lime gelatin. The creatures in the Dirt Desert may be alive, but they have no physical senses other than motion and, thus, cannot sting, bite, pinch, or the like."
The gelatin scorpion scurried away from the group. Now in the know, it was obvious to both guests that the animal was just green candy.
After passing a few more marshmallow pyramids, the trio approached the tree that they had glimpsed earlier. Upon closer inspection, the tree was not a standalone in terms of placement, but rather, part of an oasis. Beside the tree, there was a small, mock lake in an unusual shade of blue. An Oompa-Loompa was standing by a non-loaded camel made of caramel, the latter drinking from the lake. Both Charlie and Violet could tell that the camel was made of caramel, due to a smell it was emitting that was much stronger than the gelatin scorpion's scent.
Speaking of smells, Violet was starting to become uneasy. Another nearby scent that she would recognize any day (and had recognized every day) was coming from the lake, and it was obvious that the oasis wasn't actually filled with water. She gripped her chest nervously.
"This lake, as you might have guessed, is full of blueberry milkshake instead of water, hence the smell and coloration that you can detect," Mr. Wonka began, looking at the oasis instead of at either guest. "It has been chilled to the cold temperature of actual milkshakes, so you can—"
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Violet chewing her gum extra fast and holding her nose to block the scent. "I'm sorry, is this upsetting you?"
Violet nodded vigorously.
"My apologies. Let's move to the geysers, Charlie."
Charlie looked at Violet in a confused manner, but on prompting of a glare from her, he decided against asking her just what was so bothersome about the oasis.
The geysers were not far at all, but because they all were inactive at the moment, they were extremely hard to spot. All of a sudden, an orange gush of thick liquid burst out of the ground and streamed upwards for a bit before retreating.
"That was orange soda!" Mr. Wonka exclaimed. "These geysers shoot out different flavors of soda, from orange to cherry to lemon to grape, all in their appropriate colors."
He noticed Violet getting nervous again with this exposition. "Not to worry; I did not include that particular fruit flavor here. What with the lake, that would have been redundant," he assured her.
Another soda, this time purple grape, shot up from its geyser. Mr. Wonka gestured eagerly with his cane. "Go ahead and try catching it on your tongue if you wish! All of the geysers are drinkable! The lake in the oasis also was drinkable, but I felt it better to leave out the experience for now."
Charlie ran forwards excitedly and stuck his tongue towards the spouting soda. Several thick, purple drops sprayed onto his tongue. He swallowed them in bliss. They tasted just like actual grapes. Violet opted not to participate because it would have meant removing her gum before the geysers retreated, and she wasn't sure how long each would last, or when they would start spouting.
They were now led to the statue that they had spotted earlier, and now that everyone was closer to it, it was plain to see that it was a parody recreation of the Sphinx. The head was that of an Oompa-Loompa sans pharaoh headdress; the thick eyebrows and swirly hair were dead giveaways, even though they weren't colored white or green. The body was that of a cat like the real Sphinx, with the exception that its hind feet were covered by the little pom-pom shoes that the Oompa-Loompas wore in the factory settings. To be more faithful to the original statue's present condition, the nose was missing.
"This is all made from graham crackers that were pressed to fine consistency," Mr. Wonka introduced. "It took longer to make this than to fill the floor with the initial stock of cookie crumb sand."
A married couple of real Oompa-Loompas who were taking a break from re-sanding that part of the room walked between the feet of the replica and sat down, a blanket and a picnic basket for a lunch break in hand. Perhaps not surprisingly, when one of them opened the basket, he pulled out nothing but multiple handfuls of raw cocoa beans. A jerboa made from chocolate also scurried near the feet but did not go between them, instead wandering into the open space in front.
Mr. Wonka led Charlie and Violet to the farthest pyramid in the room, farther than the ones that were made of marshmallows and in fact away from that group. This pyramid was made of real limestone and was noticeably larger than those by about five meters in each dimension.
"Finally, the pièce de résistance!" he announced. "This part right here is the real purpose of the Dirt Desert, just like the chocolate river is to the Chocolate Room."
He suddenly noticed that Charlie was walking dangerously closely to a discolored part of the ground, marked only by a sign that said, Quickaramel. Mr. Wonka quickly flicked his cane to stop Charlie from stepping into the puddle by mistake.
"Let's walk around it. That Quickaramel stuff is quicksand made from caramel. You could sink into it like a real quicksand puddle."
"Why in the world would you put a replica of quicksand in here, let alone where someone could step in it?" Violet asked in surprise as the three of them walked around the Quickaramel.
Mr. Wonka put a hand on Violet's shoulder, catching her off-guard. She jerked up her head in surprise to see that he was looking her directly in the eyes.
"Questions are never indiscreet. Answers sometimes are," he said softly, with a straight face.
Upon reaching the front of the pyramid, Mr. Wonka stopped in front of a stone door that was blocking the entrance. He grabbed a knob next to it that looked like an Ancient Egyptian eye symbol, turning it sideways. After a click was heard, he grabbed one side of the stone and slid it out of the way.
Except for a few inscriptions of hieroglyphics and a mirror, the entryway appeared to be bare. The mirror was impossible to miss. When both guests looked at it, they saw just the reflection of themselves and Mr. Wonka, the same as in any ordinary mirror. One blink changed everything.
After both Charlie and Violet blinked at different times after entering the pyramid, they suddenly saw different images in the mirror, neither of which were pleasant. Mr. Wonka had turned around to face the still-open doorway so as to avoid looking at the mirror.
Violet saw a third-person view of her four-year-old self in her blueberry form in the living room. She had just finished her transformation, the smell of blueberries beginning to linger.
Unfortunately, this predicament was in close proximity to the guinea pig cage. The Beauregardes' two guinea pigs, named Darling and Precious (both Abyssinian sows), normally were kept in a hutch in the backyard, but as it was approaching the ferocious wintertime in Montana, Sam had moved them indoors recently. Both of them had long passed away from old age since this incident, of course, but at the time that the projected memory in the mirror had occurred, they had been with the family for about half a year and would have five to six more to go, Darling living longer.
There is something about a guinea pig's appetite that often makes the animal think that it's going to be offered food. Anyone who has tried to crinkle plastic around a guinea pig can attest to this, as can anyone who has eaten fruit or opened a refrigerator nearby. The smell of the juice that had just filled Violet's body was wafting through the air, and both Darling and Precious picked up on it big time.
Excited, they started to whistle loudly. Within ten seconds, the whistling swelled to loud squeals. Violet wanted to plug her ears from the racket, but, as always, the disappearance of all limb parts past the wrist was preventing this, and all that she could do was to flap her hands. She started to waddle towards the doorway to the main hallway, in distress.
"MOMMY! DADDY! MAKE THEM STOP!"
"We're coming, Violet!"
Sam and Scarlett hustled into the living room immediately. Violet was starting to have juice in lieu of teardrops coming out of her eyes.
The guinea pigs, now annoyed that they weren't getting their demanded treat, began to chatter their teeth. Scarlett looked towards the cage and saw that Precious was starting to climb on top of Darling, the former's still-chattering teeth dangerously close to her comrade's left ear. Quickly, before they started a physical fight, Scarlett rushed to the refrigerator, grabbed two strawberries, and dropped them into the cage. Immediately, the chattering stopped, replaced by soft whistles that faded away once both rodents began nibbling on the strawberries.
The ruckus now silenced, both of Violet's parents attempted to lift their toddler. They had to use both hands each, but they managed with a bit of strain. The fresh blueberry juice aroma was still as strong as it had been, and it occurred to both Sam and Scarlett in horror that the family pets unknowingly had developed an appetite for Violet. They didn't want to think about it.
"You know, we won't be able to carry you in the late evening like this for much longer, Vi," Sam mentioned as Violet was being carried to her room. "A big kid of four years old really starts to live up to the claim of getting heavy, even in the normal shape!"
Violet averted her eyes in horror by this point. She had tried closing her eyes a few times to revert the image to the normal mirror reflection, but this did nothing but pause the memory.
Suddenly, it hit her. She was near Charlie. He hadn't seen all of that, had he?
She looked at him. He was burying his eyes in his palms and had in fact stopped looking at the mirror moments before Violet did.
"Did you SEE all of that?!" Violet asked. Whether it was this reflection or not, Charlie obviously had seen something that was disturbing.
"I can't take another second of Dad's last day! I still remember it too well!" he called out in distress behind his hands. "Did you see it?"
Oh. So, he hadn't been shown Violet as a blueberry. "No. I saw just a reliving of…a pair of animals whom I imagined wanting to eat me alive. Never show a toddler a horror movie."
Charlie's horrific reflection, shown simultaneously to Violet's, had gone as follows:
Seven-year-old Charlie was kneeling beside his father's mattress. Mr. Bucket was lying down on it, exactly one thick blanket covering him from shoulders to feet. This was also in third person.
"Dad, when can you get up? You're still cold!"
"I…I don't…that feels…" Mr. Bucket slurred. His mind was still too fogged to think properly.
Mrs. Bucket entered the bedroom, carrying a scrap of cloth that had been heated over the stove. "Charlie, could you move over, please?"
"Okay," Charlie nodded. He did so and changed position in crab walk to squatting near the pillow, never taking his eyes off of his father.
Mrs. Bucket kneeled down and set the cloth over her husband's forehead. "I hope that this will be sufficient, John. I know that the doctor tried already, but more warmth shouldn't hurt."
Mr. Bucket just gave a faint nod, delirious. He lifted one hand as if he was trying to grab the cloth himself, despite it being over his forehead already.
This was the point when Charlie hid his face. He lasted even less long than Violet.
Both of them began to storm out of the pyramid. Mr. Wonka looked at them in feigned surprise. "Leaving so soon, I see?"
"Yeah! This isn't funny, Mr. Wonka!" Violet snapped.
"Oh! You mean I didn't explain this to you? Dear me!"
"You didn't explain what?"
Mr. Wonka smiled impishly. "In ancient Egypt, bravery was seen to be one of the top values before one could ascend to the afterlife. Just close your eyes, think of something wonderful, and the mirror will deliver it in place of the scary thought to you."
Nervously, they decided to give it a try. All three walked back inside, Mr. Wonka averting his gaze while Charlie and Violet shut their eyes.
Wonka Bars. Wonka Bars. Wonka Bars, Charlie thought on repeat.
Chewing gum. Chewing gum. Chewing gum, Violet thought, on her part.
When they opened their eyes again, both children were greeted by much more pleasant mirror images. Charlie saw the repeat of the morning of his sixth birthday.
He dashed into the main room of the shack, having gotten up and dressed in an excited hurry.
"Happy birthday, Charlie!" the voices of six grownups exclaimed in a sing-song voice at once.
"Good morning!" Charlie exclaimed. He dashed around the bed to kiss each grandparent and then gave his parents a kiss each. They all smiled.
His mother handed him a wrapped package. "Enjoy, dear!"
"Oh, boy! Is this what I think it is?" He tore into it quickly.
Mrs. Bucket winked at Mr. Bucket. Mr. Bucket winked back.
"A Wonka! Yay!" Charlie exclaimed in a truly excited, childlike fashion once the wrapping paper was gone. He took several jumps in place while holding the bar.
"We remembered how curious you were about the fact that some bars come with peanuts baked in them, so I decided to experiment this year and see how you like them," Mr. Bucket explained.
Charlie just continued to gaze in awe at the wrapped bar. "Uh-huh!"
"Hey, if this doesn't work out, you can always pick out the peanuts and give them to me! You'll still have the chocolate!" Mr. Bucket continued with a joke, winking.
Charlie was now literally hugging the Wonka bar. It was practically pressed against his arms.
"Whoa, Charlie, you'd better put that somewhere safe before your body heat starts melting it!" said Grandpa Joe, pointing to the bar that Charlie was dangerously close to squeezing. Grandpa Joe then turned to Mrs. Bucket. "Mr. Wonka doesn't yet have his non-melting chocolate out, does he?"
Mrs. Bucket shook her head. "Not to my knowledge."
Charlie walked to his room to put his birthday present on his desk.
At the same time that Charlie's pleasant memory was showing, Violet began seeing something completely different when she looked into the mirror again. This vision took place nearly two years ago, just months after Violet and Cornelia made up over the sleepover invitation incident.
Both of them were walking down the front steps of the school after dismissal. Violet was only a moderate but still excessive gum-chewer at the time, but Cornelia had been compulsive for a few years now, and as such, only Cornelia's jaws were moving. She had in fact just started a new piece, as this was before Cornelia got the idea to chew a piece of gum for world-record length.
"Can you believe it? The nerve of Mr. Jones! How can you announce a big test the week before Spring Break?" Violet groused, rolling her eyes.
"I know! Advanced U.S. History is totally dull!" Cornelia replied. "I don't know where he was when they were passing out brains. Only a twit would make a test hang over someone's vacation like that, and who cares about that stupid Custer's Last Stand, anyway?"
"No one. Custer's a loser anyway, for being defeated openly like that."
They were now nearing the buses at the end of the courtyard.
Cornelia suddenly pointed to her mouth. "Hey, change of subject, did you hear that Wonka has this new gum out that never goes stale? I'm trying one right now!"
"Oh, does he? How does it taste?"
"The same as the others. It's too early to tell if the flavor's really lasting."
"Do you have any other pieces of them? Mine are just the regular kind." Violet patted a bulging mesh pouch on the side of her backpack.
"Sure, I do." Cornelia reached into a back pocket of her jeans and pulled out a wrapped strip, handing it to Violet. Violet took it, removed the wrapper, and started chewing the gum.
"Oh, wow! It's not flavored, but it's still totally the bee's knees! I swear, there's something about his sugar. It's a good thing that this is branded as everlasting, huh?" she ran her mouth.
Cornelia grinned widely.
"I might stash this during dinner and continue afterwards!" Violet continued. "Thank you for letting me know about this, Cornelia!"
"He has it in peach flavor, too, if you're interested," Cornelia noted.
They then had to split ways to get on their buses.
Suddenly, as if both unique visions had run their courses, the mirror stopped displaying them. Without even a blinking trigger, they faded back until Charlie and Violet were seeing the normal reflection of themselves and Mr. Wonka again.
"It works only once per visit," Mr. Wonka clarified. He still was averting the mirror. "Since real pyramids have lots of dead ends and traps to ward off grave robbers, I put this in here as a sort of scare diversion in case that were to happen. Not many people would know the trick to defeat it."
"Why put it there? You don't trust some of the Oompa-Loompas?" Violet pointed out.
"I know that glass mirrors weren't around in Ancient Egypt, but what else was I supposed to use to show those visions with clarity?" Mr. Wonka replied with a smile, knowing full well that he was answering the completely wrong context of the question.
Charlie noticed a corridor running alongside the left side of them, reflected on the opposite side of the mirror. "Mr. Wonka, are there any surprises around there?" he pointed.
Mr. Wonka shrugged. "Maybe." Before either guest could object, he began walking along that passageway, leaving them no choice but to follow him.
Its walls were lined with mock hieroglyphic carvings, but instead of actual hieroglyphic writing, they consisted of Oompa-Loompas, Wonka bars in their wrappers, cocoa beans, whangdoodles, snozzwangers, and multi-colored candies resembling pointy star shapes, which neither Charlie nor Violet recognized.
After walking through several zigzags and straight paths along this one corridor, they came to a dead end consisting of a ladder that went to just a large shelf. It was easy to see the shelf even without climbing the ladder.
"Oh, dear," Mr. Wonka remarked. "A dead end. Well, I guess that means that we'll have to turn back. Confusion now hath made his masterpiece."
He turned around and led both children back the exact way they came, which was thankfully not that long of a walk. They both looked disappointed, even Charlie, for this brief moment.
"Is that it?" Charlie asked, hoping that another corridor would be found.
"I'm afraid so," said Mr. Wonka. "As I said, pyramids always have false passageways." As a matter of fact, they had passed a real passageway that branched off from theirs along the way but was blocked by a moving wall. This was hiding the way to the chamber where Mr. Wonka had opted to store test samples of a recipe for never-melting chocolate, which of course he was keeping under cover.
As they stepped back into the room, Mr. Wonka suddenly felt the need to clarify. "Actually, there is a real passageway in there, but I'm keeping it hidden. This pyramid was built to house a brand-new recipe of mine that I don't want seen before it's ready for the public. Without my help, though, you never will find the sealed passageway, and only the Oompa-Loompas authorized to operate the Dirt Desert know exactly where the right corridor is."
There was a lone open door nearby leading to the hallway. As the trio walked past this door, Mr. Wonka caught sight of an odd vehicle parked beyond it. It had a large tire in front and two tires in back. A giant, gold tank separated the rear seats from the front seats (the driver's seat was raised by the middle), and a long tube with a lid was sticking up from the tank.
"Wait a minute," Mr. Wonka stopped the pair trailing behind him. "I must show you this." Everything that there was to be seen in the Dirt Desert had been glimpsed, so he figured that they may as well move on to another tour spot anyway.
Charlie stooped down to eat a quick, small handful of crumb sand before he followed Violet and Mr. Wonka to the hallway. The boy was now wishing that he could afford vanilla cookies.
"Isn't she a beauty?" asked Mr. Wonka once all three of them were looking at the vehicle. "I call her the Wonkamobile. She runs entirely on soda suds."
"Soda?" asked Charlie.
Mr. Wonka picked up two Cola bottles to pour into the tank and then glanced at Charlie. "Oh, sure. Ginger ale, ginger pop, ginger beer, beer bubbles, Bubble-Aid, Bubble Cola, Double Cola, Double Bubble Burp-A-Cola, and all that crazy, carbonated stuff that tickles your nose. Few people realize what tremendous power—oh, uh, Violet, please, don't do that! You're making a mess!"
Mr. Wonka had spotted Violet out of the corner of his eye while he was talking. Violet had gotten cookie crumb sand in her left shoe at some point between leaving the pyramid and entering the hallway, and she was now holding the shoe upside-down at arm's height and using her fingers to knock the crumbs out of it. There weren't too many, but they were enough to leave a small, scattered amount on the ground in front of her and kick up dust with each tap.
Violet stopped upon hearing Mr. Wonka's self-interruption. She looked down at the knocked crumbs and then glanced around at the floor area beside her. "What mess?" she asked obliviously.
Mr. Wonka sighed. Social skills like these were why he simply could not consider her for the time being as a candidate to inherit his business. "The crumbs that you just dumped onto my neat floor. We're not in the Dirt Desert anymore, so that mock sand does not belong there."
"Oh," Violet looked straight down again. "That's messy?"
"Please gather them all up and deposit them back into the room," Mr. Wonka requested sternly. "It's not a courtesy to the cleaning crew who came along here just hours ago."
Violet made a throaty groaning noise. She knelt down and pinched as many crumbs as possible to gather in her palm, then walked the few steps back to the doorway to drop them past it. Not having finished the dumping job on her shoe, she made a second trip to fetch it and knocked the last few crummy bits into the room proper before putting the shoe back on.
"Thank you," said Mr. Wonka. "As I was saying, the Wonkamobile runs on different brands of soda. Would you like a demonstration? I can drive it to just the perfect room to show you next!"
"Oh, yes, please!" Charlie said enthusiastically. "This will have to be my last room before my paper route. I have to be at the stand at around half past three."
Mr. Wonka checked his Mayan numeral pocket watch again. "Ah. Yes. You're perfectly right."
Charlie got himself seated at the front. Violet walked around behind the tank to sit.
Mr. Wonka finished the job of filling the tank with soda. "Okay, now; are you ready? I'm really going to open her up this time and see what she can do!"
A/N: Mr. Wonka was speaking in Spanish when he was presenting the Dirt Desert. He said, "The two of you, when you leave the Wonkavator, will encounter the Dirt Desert [actually "Land/Ground Desert", since there is no Spanish word for "dirt" when it refers to ground soil rather than filthiness]. It is one of the newest rooms of my entire factory and took many months to construct." He answered Violet's interruption with, "Enunciate, please. I have lost a little of the hearing in my right ear." I'll admit, the inclusion of this dialogue, even if it is in character, was really just an excuse to sneak in a clever little portmanteau I made recently. "Ascensor" means "elevator" in Spanish, so I noticed that, given the fact that it starts with an A while "Wonka" ends with one, the two words would make an even better conjoining than the English version. I felt this discovery to be too good not to include at some point, hence my having Mr. Wonka do a foreign introduction with it. I know that he already had a Spanish snippet in another fic of mine, but what the hey, that was a different fic.
"Questions are never indiscreet. Answers sometimes are." and "Confusion now hath made his masterpiece." are quotes from An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde and Macbeth by William Shakespeare, respectively.
By the way, this last room that will be visited on the trip will be completely new! (Borrowing with permission will be permitted, of course.)
