Warning: Abuse, nothing sexual or explicit.
Part 2: With Ghosts Forever
Satsuki didn't know what she was doing. Or why she was doing it.
She even didn't know how she was supposed to hide from her brother, in their own home. She just knew she had to. She had to run and hide as fast as she could, she had to hold her breath and become invisible, inaudible, and hope that he was on one of his sloppier days.
Her heart beat fast and hard and loud . She pressed her back to the furniture she was hiding behind. There was no way, no way he couldn't sense her half-surpassed chakra. There was no way he couldn't hear the damn heart beats… or breaths.
She heard the shuffling footsteps, walking right behind where she was hiding. She held her breath, ignoring the painful throbbing of her lungs. She felt him walking past her, not stopping a second, where he could stand and just look around to see her. Please, please just go…
He did. She didn't dare to blink, she didn't dare to hope, until he was totally gone. She couldn't hear or feel him anymore.
Satsuki released her breath in relief. Now she just needed to get to the door and run...
"Your breathing is too loud." Said the voice. She jumped back with a terrified shriek. The steely hand grabbed her wrist before she could jerk away.
Satsuki painted but didn't struggle, didn't try to curl and make herself smaller than she was. The unclear onyx eyes stared at her mercilessly.
"No…" She tried, half sobbed. Itachi didn't falter. "Don't… make me…" She begged.
Nothing. Just the steady, emotionless gaze. "Are you scared?" He asked, frowning disapprovingly.
"I'm not sacred." She yelled. Her eyes threatened to water, and maybe they did. "I just... don't want to..." Itachi stared at her eyes, and she stared back. Not with courage, but with fear. She was too scared of upsetting him, by tearing her gaze from him.
"You think what you want matters?" He said, eyes blank, but a slight twitch on the corner of his lips.
That killed every bit of protest out of Satsuki. She bit her lip, trying to surpass the hopeless, low voice. No. No It never does.
He released her wrist, and stood up at once, his bangs covering his expression. "Come on and get ready. You don't want to be late." I'm already late , she thought. He walked away without looking back once. Although his iron grip wasn't there anymore, Satsuki felt an invisible rope pulling her up on her uncertain knees, and dragging her forward and to her room, defeated. There was no way she could run. No Way.
Without much consciousness, she picked up the textbooks she assumed would be needed that day, and grabbed her school bag almost hysterically, so that the stuff in it nearly fell out of it.
There was a time she liked going to the Academy. It was much better than the suffocating place that she called home, and constant onyx eyes always watching him, day and night. She liked the warm touch of sunshine, though a bit blinding for her used to darkness eyes. She loved the cheer of children and excited crowd. And people! People were everywhere! You could talk to people!
But that was before other students started to call her name and hide her things. Or before the child that sat behind her started messing with her, pinching the skin of her neck in the middle of the class for no reason at all, or pulling her long hair harshly, mockingly. (She cut it short, anyway).
It was before her seatmate started to pretend she, and the harassment she was suffering from didn't exist, afraid to be the next target of them.
She tried changing seats, but the new child wasn't that different from the previous, so not much changed. The only solution was to sit at the back seats, but she couldn't see the board and it defied the point of coming to class entirely.
She liked the school, before the kunoichi class' sensei proved exactly as hateful of her, as Mizuki-sensei was of Naruto, by giving her ridiculously low marks without giving her a reason. The resemblance was, none of them had anyone to file a complaint for them. The difference was, Naruto didn't have a clue about Mizuki-sesnei's actions against his education, and Satsuki did.
she liked the school, for like, four months. Before it turned to a hell, and students to evil souls and warders.
She came back home literally crying only once, when the shurikens she managed to buy with her savings of monthly allowance got lost, and she didn't hope to buy more for several more months. It didn't matter, she repeated to herself over and over, there were worse things... she had gone through worse than a few stupid bullies…
But she couldn't help, the tears came and then they didn't stop.
When Itachi caught her crying, and understood the reason, between the muffled sobs, he had pressed her shaking figure tighter to his chest, and stayed like that a few minutes, before pulling her away, telling her that he was so sorry cause he couldn't do anything.
He had the most pained, desperate expression possible. Like he was the one at the verge of tears. It shocked, and shook, Satsuki.
he wiped her tears away quickly and gave him a tiny small, telling him it's okay.
He didn't wonder in the house that night moaning in pain, like he did on worse days. He just sat on his usual spot in the corner of the room, watching her with haunted eyes, while his long nails were dipping into his arms hard, bare of anything except Anbu metal Arm guards, and silky, red blood.
She didn't talk about bullies after that. He couldn't help, and she didn't want to add to his already unbearable pain.
But Iruka-sensei could, and did. He was good. He was busy holding a class of stupid civilians, arrogant clan kids, and Naruto together, while trying to teach them something . But he still did his best, scolding the bullies and making them apologize to her when they dared to do something obvious in the class . It wasn't that helpful, but it was still reassuring that someone was on her side, except Itachi.
And she told Itachi so. Itachi smiled gently and said she should thank him someday. She thought it was just right. So she bought a banquet from Yamanaka flower shop, after waiting forty-five minutes outside the shop for Ino to leave it.
She carefully chose the flowers, for all of them too mean gratefulness and respect.
Iruka-sensei's eyes brightened after she gave them to him, when the class was done, and every one of the students were out.
"That was really kind of you, Satsuki-chan." He said with a big, kind smile.
"I… just wanted to thank you, sensei." She hesitantly said. "Although it's probably not enough."
When Iruka-sensei disagreed, saying it was more than enough, she bit her lip. "One can never pay in gratitude; one can only pay in kind somewhere else in life. But I thought I should try."
"Those... are very beautiful words, Satsuki-chan." He sounded surprised. She shook her head seriously. "That's what my Nii-san always says."
His smile faltered a bit, enough for her to notice, but not to hurt. After a solid second, he ruffled her hair gently and thanked her again for her thoughtfulness.
Though the next time someone called her 'crazy girl', he hesitated a moment, before frowning upon and scolding the child.
She put on the first clothes she got a hand on. She used to spend more time and thought on how she looked like before, hoping that it would change something in other's attitude, or view toward her. It didn't work, she gave up.
She glanced at the mirror hurriedly, catching a blurry picture of black and white. From the uneven, spiky hair, to dead eyes and huge bags under them, along with the white skin and scaly lips.
With more blue, she could have been a ghost of a drowned girl.
It was late already, and she was in no mood to make or eat breakfast. She had survived lack of more than one meal, so she skipped it, just grabbing a bottle of orange juice from the empty refrigerator.
She ignored the dark figure of his brother in the corner of the kitchen, and the eyes staring at her. Like he was scared she ran away again.
She could. She could just hide in an empty house in the Uchiha compound. There were lots of them around. It didn't mean she would . Not only because she was a coward, not only because she feared her half dead older brother as much as she loved him.
Just because of those unsaid words.
"I know It hurts, but endure it. Endure it so you can become stronger and not get hurt."
He said them once, and never needed to repeat them. The words were in his every look, every comforting word, and every twist of the lip.
Of course, he meant not hurting-them-back , but protecting-yourself kind of strength.
She understood, and she tried not to think about vengeance, not to even imagine what she was going to do to the bullies, when she got strong and old enough for Itachi to let her use the sharingan. She would never hurt people back.
If there was one thing Itachi wholeheartedly despised, it was hurting people back.
So she tried her best in the Academy… okay, maybe not her best, but the best she thought she could do, to become strong and to protect.
It wasn't like Academy was just bullies and mean, stupid children. There were also very interesting lessons! Lot's of things she could learn and know. Things she wanted to learn and know.
She could do it. She was already doing it. Since she'd beat a couple of bullies up at the yard, no one had bothered her. Of course, the general ignorance and insults were still there, but it wasn't that bad anymore. Even the strange thing in her chest when eating alone in lunchtime didn't hurt that much. She was starting to enjoy the Academy again,
Then the Chunin accident happened, and everything went sideways.
She came back home, saying a quiet, muffled "okaeri" and rushing straight to her room, stumbling on her own feet until she got to her bed. She creeped under the sheets, and didn't come up the whole day.
Itachi didn't notice. He had his own misery to drown in. He didn't notice his little sister not coming out of the room once, even for food. He didn't notice even when night fell and he came to her room as usual, sitting where he always sat.
She didn't react to his arrival, but he didn't notice.
The next day went the same, except that she came down to the kitchen to grab food a few times, covered in her usual pants and long sleeved loose shirt, and went back to her room.
The day after was as normal as a weekend.
It took her brother another day to realize that day wasn't a weekend.
"Why aren't you going to school?" He said to the lump under a thick blanket. The only answer she gave was a weak whimper. "Are you sick?" She heard her brother ask. She thought why not? and just said yes.
After two days, she couldn't stay in bed anymore. She knew getting out was going to blow her cover, but she didn't care.
"You seem better," her brother studied her. "You're good enough to go to school tomorrow." Satsuki nodded her head invisibly, quitely.
She didn't go, and he couldn't understand why, at first.
But it didn't take long. He realized what happened the moment he saw the wound.
And the scratches. And bruises. And tears.
He didn't yell at her why she didn't tell him. No, that wasn't Itachi's way. After a long, blank stare, not accepting her protests and "It's okay"s.
It wasn't okay, and Itachi, under the unfeeling façade, was madly angry. She didn't have enough courage in herself to disobey, when he commanded her to go report to Hokage.
She didn't want to. She knew it would just bring her more trouble, and was 99% sure no one was going to believe the mad girl's words, above a Chunin.
but she obeyed. She went to his office. The Hokage was occupied. She refused to meet anyone but him, because Itachi said, and emphasized so.
She sat behind his door for long hours, seeing people as different as flowers waiting there even longer than her, coming in and out of his room. She waited for her turn in the sticking to the seat a kind old man offered her when his name was called, and just wishing she was anywhere but there.
She spent the night there, curling in her precious seat when some people were sleeping upright.
She dreamed of the brown haired Chunin walking in the Hokage's waiting room and looking at her angrily. "I'll show you when I get back, witch girl." She said, smirking sadistically when the guards let her in the holy office easily.
Satsuki nearly went back home and told Itachi that she wasn't allowed in, but she knew he wouldn't buy it, nor would he even let her in.
The next day, she finally managed to talk to Hokage. His eyes widened when he saw her little figure at his doorstep, but he didn't kick her out. He smiled. And listened. He suddenly wasn't smiling anymore. He asked her things. And immediately wrote a letter to the respective authority. And smiled again.
Satsuki almost cried of relief.
The Chunin's forehead protector was taken from her for six months, and she was to complete 200 hours worth of voluntary public service, unpaid D-rank missions, to get the forehead protector back.
Then she was warned that if she got a similar denunciation, the consequences would be more permanent.
It seemed fair. Justice. The right thing. Satsuki didn't have any feelings about it. Except the relief, of course. Now she could go back home and sleep in her own bed.
Itachi was satisfied, or at least he said so, while his usually flickering figure was flickering even more than usual, like he was struggling to not disappear . she was used to it. it was something like an emotional attack, Itachi's version of it.
Then She said she didn't want to go back to school, and suddenly he wasn't satisfied anymore.
She wasn't going to hurt her again, okay. She faced punishment, great.
But there were still others.
There were still people out there… children… Chunin…
He didn't like her reasons at all, calling her weak silently, and sending her disappointed looks.
She didn't care. She just didn't want to experience that… again.
Being attacked at once, without her doing anything to provoke it. Being pinned to the ground, the mud and cold ground pressing into her back. The terrifying hopelessness. The painful grip on her wrists, and the Chunin-strong punches.
things being whispered into her ear. "The witch girl, the crazy little ghost of konoha. They say you're an Oni ."
Her smelly breath dancing on her face. "The little Oni that killed all her family and drank their blood."
A kunai thrusting into her hand. "Huh, what a joke. Oni? You're nothing but a scaredy little clan cat. Or maybe fox? wasn't that your kind's favorite toy?"
Everything hurting… hurting bad. Blood flowing out of the wound. The liquid coloring her face red, and being forced into her sealed lips, as she struggled. Her eyes stung then. She knew it wasn't tear, so she shut them tight. Hide it.
"Is it tasty? Chibi Oni? Do you like it? Hmm? Hmmm?" No, it wasn't. It was sour, and bitter. She would have told her so, if she wasn't being choked on her own blood.
She wasn't scared. she just didn't want to feel that, face that again. Was it really too much to ask?
It happened once, why not twice? Or three times? Or again and again? What if next time, they don't let go with a simple kick in the side, even if she shrieks her loudest?
"Satsuki, wait." He called, and she turned back almost hopefully. The paper door was half open when Itachi approached.
He cautiously avoided the light, but she saw the bento she'd forgotten in his hand. She accepted it without saying anything, not once looking away from Itachi's eyes. She poured every bit of anger and accusation she could muster in the gaze, and didn't even feel guilty for it.
The fact that it worked , surprised her!
He bit his lip uncertainty, a spark of well-hidden regret and guilt in his eyes.
No... not a spark. More. Much more.
So what? What good was his guilt anyway? She turned on her heels with a frown, starting to say "iterashai," but was interrupted by the sudden hands pulling her in an embrace. She stilled.
"Take care." he said from above her shoulders, his voice muffled by her neck. "I love you." and I'm sorry , went unsaid. He'd said too many times already, so she knew he was. She tried her best not to jerk away from his touch.
He was sending her to… to that hell they call the world, and telling upright he wasn't going to protect her. How was this love?
She didn't want to go out there, with all the little monsters and glaring adults. with… people.
People… they would talk.
She hated them. She hated their eyes and lips, staring and moving with accusation. She hadn't done anything wrong. Nothing that wrong .
Yes. She had done some wrongs in her life.
She had tried to leave her big brother alone in a house he could never escape from.
She had survived, when none of them did.
But none of her sins were theirs to judge. None!
Why couldn't she stay home? The cold, dark home that was at least inhabited by the ghosts of her family ? She was okay, she'd been totally okay the last few years. The worst part had passed already.
Her brother, seeing her lack of response, pulled back. His eyes so bitter that she immediately knew he didn't want her to go either.
"I'm sorry, little sister." he whispered, voice cracking with sadness. "But you can't live with ghosts forever."
Satsuki swallowed, her head falling with a nod. What could she do except forgiving him, when he acted all worried and sad like this?
Her big pushed her gently toward the door, mumbling something assuring. She walked forward to the light of the outside world, when he walked backward, disappearing into the darkness of the Uchiha house.
"I know It hurts, but endure it. endure it to become stronger, and not get hurt. Protect, don't hurt back."
He had said that, and only once. Satsuki used to repeat it to herself, and it used to work. But now…
What was the point of being strong and becoming a Genin, when there were still C hunin in the world?
How was she supposed to take care , against stronger people?
It was hard. It was hard to protect, let alone not hurt back. Trying was hard, being strong was hard because there are always people stronger than you. And they hurt.
But what else could she do?
This story was just going to be a one shot. I don't now how it turned into a series... but now it is.
You know... I think it's unfair that we have Loads of Naruto/Naruko abused fics around, but no one thought about a Sasuke/Satsuki one. Sasuke wasn't bullied, but I imagine Satuski might have. Not just because she's a girl, but because she is not as goal-oriented and uncaring of social interactions as Sasuke, and she certainly doesn't have fangirls thinking she's cool who would kill to be friends with her. More like... female classmates jealous of her and thinking she sees herself above them.
Adults will... act how they acted with Naruto, but not that harsh. Although, in ninja world, there are still some sadist assholes around :/
