"I fall in love with the person, you know? And as you say, if someone gives me attention, well...I'm a fucking puppy." Judy spit the last word and she felt Jen squeeze her arm with concern.

Jen's voice was warm when she reassured her, "that was harsh of me and you are not doing that so much. You're growing and I'm proud of you."

"Thank you. How are you so sure you aren't attracted to women?" Judy's eyes flitted down to Jen's body curled around her like a gentle boa constrictor. Insisting on showers and sleep togethers, love you, always and forevers, be my person, raise my children, I love you more than wine, her clear aggression toward men... there was a lot to unpack and they probably shouldn't be getting into it this deep tonight.

"My freshmen year of high school, my mom was really sick and I had this best friend who would stay over all the time and I felt like I could tell her anything and we were really close. We practiced kissing one night, just innocent. She betrayed me—like the movie Mean Girls. She told everyone I was a lesbian and distanced herself and I got labeled. It made me angry, and not even because I would have been ashamed to be gay, but because it wasn't on my terms and it was private and she used it against me for no reason except her own insecurity. It made me self-conscious. Locker rooms, every time I touched a girl who was a friend. I got afraid of anything that could be perceived that way, and I don't know," Jen sniffled at the hard memory and buried her face in the blankets.

"Kids are such jerks," Judy soothed her empathizing with how hard that must have been for Jen if even now she was having such a visceral reaction.

That's when it dawned on her that Jen had been conditioned to not react to women and turned off by any women loving women like influence. That certainly explained her weirdness in the shower, partly. It also made Judy realize how huge it was that Jen trusted her so much to be so close and vulnerable with her and touch her as freely as she did.

"You know I would never ever betray you like that," Judy promised in solemn voice. "If you ever wanted to try kissing a girl again. I'd certainly like to kiss you."

"You kiss me all the time," Jen scoffed.

"I mean make out, just to like awaken that big dyke energy that's inside of you, Starbuck."

"And here I thought you just wanted to masturbate next to me," Jen quipped.

"Only if you get in on some parallel play, Chica, it's no fun if it's only one," Judy lifted Jen's chin with her finger and planted a very gentle, soft kiss on her lips. She felt Jen's mouth curl up in a smile. "We can start a whole deconditioning program and get you feeling in touch with your sexuality. I'll make it my mission."

Judy made it a promise and now she had a new way to start taking care of Jen. To open up her heart and her yoni.

"I'll think about it; so far so good."

"Better than Gregor?" Judy asked slyly.

"Shut up and go to bed, Judy."