Erwin came into the bar regularly from then on.

"Aren't you spending your rent money?" Levi asked, pushing a beer across the bar.

"I didn't have it all anyway," Erwin said stubbornly. "Besides, I like talking to you. It makes me feel better."

Levi had nothing to say to that and busied himself polishing a glass.

Erwin got more talkative as he had more beer.

Levi came by with his fifth Budweiser and Erwin cocked his head. "I know you don't like to touch other people but how do you feel if they touch you?"

Levi took a sharp breath and shook his head firmly.

Erwin looked crushed. "Sorry … I …"

Jesus. The man was just trying to be nice, Levi. Give him a break.

"No. No, don't apologize. I was just … here."

Levi put his right hand down on the bar, clenched into a tight, nervous fist in his glove. "I'm better with the gloves on. Try it ..."

Erwin, who wanted nothing more than to hold that hand, hug the man, kiss him … reached out slowly. He placed one finger on the back of Levi's glove. He felt the man shudder.

"Is that OK?"

"Not … not bad. We kinda do this sort of thing in therapy."

"How has your week been?"

Levi stared at him, "Seriously?"

"Seriously. How was it?"

"Well, this idiot I know came in with this blond chick the other day."

Erwin cringed. "I hear she bailed on him."

"She did but it was his own fault. He didn't pay her any attention and I got the feeling that she was an attention whore."

"Ohh, harsh."

"I'll bet it's true."

Erwin smiled. "It is." He very very gently touched Levi's clenched knuckles.

Levi hissed.

"Sorry!"

"S'OK. Hurts. Split knuckles, remember?"

"Oh, I forgot."

This was a bunch of shit. Levi hated it. Why couldn't he just be normal? "Look, I'm sorry," he said suddenly. "I'm sorry for the way I am. I hate it."

"I know this is not you, it's your OCD."

"It will never go away, you know." Levi searched Erwin's face. "I'll be like this, have this shit, do this shit, for the rest of my life."

"I don't care."

Levi looked stunned. "Can I … get you another beer?"

"Only if you'll have some whisky with me."

"Done."

Soon, Levi leaned relaxedly on the bar and sipped his bourbon. Erwin drank his beer.

"So, you wanna go out sometime?"

Levi choked on his drink. "Out? Like a date? With me?"

"Sure. I'm asking, aren't I?"

"And do what?"

"Get a drink."

"Aren't we doing that now?"

"True."

"And aren't we both poor as fucking churchmice?"

Erwin sighed. He'd momentarily forgotten about his situation. "Also true," he conceded. "Can we exchange numbers anyway? Maybe just talk?"

Levi was in a mild panic. What should he do? He felt so exposed.

"Just like friends," Erwin said.

Levi swallowed a big slug of bourbon. "OK."

Levi had to help Erwin to the bus again. He was even more wobbly than he'd been the last time. The bus driver was so used to picking up drunks at the bar that he didn't react at all.

Erwin paused in the doorway.

"Call me … OK?"

Levi shrugged. "Maybe."

Another week passed and it was just one more week till the end of the month. It was Sunday and Levi was cleaning. He scrubbed his counter with the phone pinched between his jaw and his shoulder. He was talking to Erwin.

"When is your rent due?"

"The first."

"Mine, too. Do you have it?"

"Nope. I've cut everything to the bone and saved every cent and I'll still be $300 short." Levi heard him sigh.

"Shouldn't drink so much, you lush."

"Levi, I haven't consumed $300 worth of alcohol."

"OK, true." Levi picked up his toaster and polished it. "Will they kick you out?"

"I think they have to give me at least a month. They have my deposit. What about you?"

"I have about half of mine and my landlord has agreed to let me clean out some of the empty apartments in exchange for the rest, so next month's covered. My landlord is a good guy, he'll give me a month or two after that to try to scrape up the cash but I still don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do. I won't have any more money next month." Levi shifted the phone and bent to scrub his cabinets. "What about you?"

"I've been applying for jobs everywhere I can find but I don't know if or when I'll be hired. I don't know what I'm going to do. Have you thought any more about a roommate?"

Levi straightened and shifted uncomfortably. "I'm still thinking about it. Have you thought about a roommate?"

"I've got literally nowhere to put one. My overpriced flat is so tiny that I don't even have a couch. Where would he sleep? With me?"

Levi growled at that. "You should move out of that neighborhood. Come and slum it with us truly poor folks."

"I wish I could, but even at a lower rent, I don't have enough for first month's rent and a deposit."

"What will you do?"

"Crash with my buddy Mike for a while, I guess. Save my money. Hope for the best."

"You're way too upbeat for a guy who's fixin' t'be homeless."

Erwin laughed down the phone and Levi moved into the bathroom. He began scrubbing the tub. Rose came and watched him curiously.

"You need to get out of here," Levi told her. He used a lot of bleach when he cleaned and he was afraid it would hurt her or the kittens.

"Me?" Erwin said.

"No, dumbass, my cat."

"You have a cat?"

"She was starving in an alley. What was I supposed to do?" Levi eyed Rose's belly which bulged out comically when she sat. "If I get a roomie, he'd damned well better love cats."

The next day Erwin showed up at the bar again. Levi set a beer in front of him and scowled. "I thought you were broke."

"Krista floated me a loan. I thought you and I could have another 'date' sort of."

Levi grimaced. "I thought we had agreed to 'just friends.' You should have asked her for the $300."

Erwin laughed. "She thought of the same thing but she didn't have it. She even asked if I wanted her to ask her dad to loan me some. I declined. How would I pay it back?" He took a long sip of his beer. "It would just be a bandaid." That thought made Erwin look at Levi's hands. "How are your hands today?"

Levi shrugged, still embarrassed to talk about it. "About the same. I wish Farlan and Isobel were here. It was so much better with them to talk to."

"Farlan and Isobel? Were those your friends?"

Levi frowned down at the bar. "Yeah." Erwin was silent and Levi went to wait on another customer. When he went to the cash register to ring the money up he snagged a small polaroid from the wall next to it and handed it to Erwin.

It showed a very young couple leaning against a new blue Prius. The boy was tall and sandy-haired and had his arm around a girl with fiery red hair caught up in two short, pert pony-tails on either side of her head. The girl was laughing into the camera and the boy looked down at her lovingly.

"They look so happy."

Levi took back the pic and looked down at it fondly and sadly. "They were. They had just gotten married."

"How did they pass away? If you don't mind talking about it."

"Nah … talking helps. Car accident. Drunk driver. That was the car they died in. It was crushed like a beer can."

"I'm so sorry, Levi. You must miss them terribly."

"Every day. They were like family. I don't know what I'd have done without them after my mom got sick. And after she died."

Erwin's finger touched Levi's over the bar. Levi flinched then relaxed. Erwin traced little circles over the back of his hand idly.