Mako's Message: I'm sorry for the delay. I'm trying to do better.
Tonight didn't go as planned at all.
Dave and I have been going out on patrol as usual, because it's not like we're going to stop, but we've been avoiding Justice Forever. Okay I have been avoiding Justice Forever. Dave has been trying to talk me into going to a meeting or on a patrol with them for a couple weeks now.
But I've had no interest in seeing them. Whatever they had to say to me about anything, I didn't want to hear it.
Tonight though I didn't have a choice in the matter.
We bumped into Col Stars, White Mage, and Insect-Guy on the street.
A part of me considered running but that would have just been childish. And they would have chased me, probably, and then people would see Justice Forever chasing Hit Girl and...it would have looked ridiculous and would not have helped my image at all.
Stars looked like he was going to say something to me, but then stopped and pulled Dave off to the side and started talking to him quietly. That's when Alice came over and stood in front of me. She just stood there, looking at me quietly and sorta smiling, and she reached out and put her hand on my shoulder, sighed and said, "Mindy," and then she grabbed me by my ear and almost twisted it right the fuck off!
And then she dragged me off into an alley and I had no choice but go with her unless I wanted to lose my ear. Or stab her. And we weren't quite at that point yet.
So she's talking the whole time but the only part I catch is, "What are we going to do with you?" And as soon as she let go I pulled one of my pistols on her but she just grabbed it right out of my fucking hand, dropped the clip out and said, "Can you stop acting like a child for five minutes?"
Of course I snapped back, "I'm not acting like a child."
And she said, "Oh please. From what Kick-Ass has said you've not only been avoiding us, but any mention of you in the news or online, you barely talk to anyone but him, you've been skipping your practices, you're spacing out on patrols, and you refuse to even talk to him about that guy you killed! You're avoiding if not just flat out disregarding your responsibilities in favor of sitting around and moping! And that's just childish."
I yelled, "Fuck you! Who the hell do you think you're talking to?"
She said, "I think I'm talking to a girl who spent half her life training to be a hero, who lost her father, just lost a close friend, and doesn't know how to deal with any of this because until two years ago her life was nothing but her father and training." Then she stopped and sighed and said, "Look, we give you a lot of leeway because we all know that you're the best fighter on our little team, probably the best trained, have more dedication to this than all of us, minus Kick-Ass, have combined, and would be out here doing this whether you had a partner or not. But you have to take some responsibility for what happened, admit when you have a problem, and come to us for help."
I said, "I don't have a problem."
She said,"Like fuck you don't!", then she sighed and she started to call me "Mindy" but corrected herself and said, "Hit Girl, you punched someone in the face until their head was mush. That concerns us. We're worried about you. I'm worried about you."
I told her "You don't need to worry about me. I'm FINE."
So she asked, "Then why have you been avoiding us?"
And I didn't have a response. Well, I did, just not one I could give.
Once it was obvious I wasn't going to answer she said, "Look, you crossed a line when you killed that guy. I'm not gonna lie about that. But you crossed another line when you didn't stop hitting him before you'd pulped his skull. I'm kinda scared to think about how long you'd have kept it up if Dave hadn't snapped you out of it honestly. Whatever is bothering you, you have to let us help you. We can't afford another incident like that. YOU can't afford another incident like that. We've been getting asked for a statement about it since everybody knows you work with us, but Stars has been refusing to give one because he wanted to talk to you first. You have to help us help you. People are starting to think you're-"
And then she shut right up but even though I knew she hadn't wanted to tell me whatever it was I said, "They're starting to think I'm what?"
She actually cringed before she started speaking again, "Before I say this, you need to know that you still have a lot of fans, some people even like you MORE now, and-"
That's when The Guardian decided to announce his presence by saying, "People are starting to think you're nothing but an attack dog and Kick-Ass is your handler." and he stalked over to us saying "And the people that ALREADY didn't want us out here are using it to paint us ALL as deranged psycopaths, so give me one good reason I shouldn't drag your ass to the nearest police station!"
And I snapped "I'd like to see you try!"
And he did. He grabbed me, and I knocked his hands away and went for a knee to the groin, but he blocked it and...honestly I don't remember every move and counter move we made it happened so fast. All reflex and instinct. But I obviously missed a block somewhere because he knocked me into the wall.
Before we could engage again White Mage jumped between us brandishing her hammer and yelled, "Keep your hands off her or I'll cave your fucking head in!"
I don't know if she thought I didn't notice she was positioning herself to stop me from getting to him just as much as was blocking him getting to me, if not more, but I did.
And of course by then we had Dave, Stars, and Insect-Guy's attention, and The Gooch-ian looked over at Stars and said, "Keep a tighter muzzle on your bitch or I'll do it for you."
I really wanted to put the asshole in his place, but a part of me realized that I had to control myself and not punch his face in or I'd just be proving him right. Not to mention I didn't want to disappoint Justice Forever.
Not that I need to prove myself to them or anything. I've just gotten used to being part of a team.
And Stars has these little chocolate cookie things that he puts out at meetings that are just awesome and I have no idea where he gets them.
Anyway, Dave stepped up then and said, "Look, I don't know what's going on here, but if you hurt her, I'm gonna put you in the hospital."
And I couldn't help smiling a little at that, because it just reminded me so much of the night we met and how he'd tried to threaten Rasul with his voice cracking and just how far he's come since then that he's actually threatening now.
And then Col. Stars said, "Kick-Ass, there's no need for that. The last thing we should be doing is fighting amongst ourselves." Then he walked over to The Guardian and put an arm around his shoulder and steered him off down the alley talking low enough that I couldn't hear him.
So then White Mage came over and handed me a little scrap of paper and said, "That's my phone number. And not the number to the shitty little thing Stars gave me, my actual phone number. I get that you don't want to talk, and if you did you'd go to your friend over there, but I served in the mid east for five years. I've seen people go through what you're going through. I can help."
I took the paper but I didn't say anything. I wanted to snap at her, but that just made me realize she was right.
There's just this...ache in my chest, like someone has their hand around my heart and is squeezing and twisting and I just don't know what to do.
