Yukine wished Yato would shut up. He had some variant of this thought every day, often dozens of times before breakfast and only going downhill from there, but he thought this time was particularly well justified. He had more or less tolerated Yato's ridiculous ramblings about happiness—less, if truth be told, but they had found a new cash bottle and Yato seemed to be healing up nicely—and he'd hoped that would be the end of that.
It wasn't, of course. Yato never did know how to let things go. Apparently, the natural extension of those musings had been longwinded monologues about how to best become a god of fortune. This was even worse, because Yukine couldn't just shoot it down like he had the happiness nonsense. For one, he needed to encourage Yato to pursue that path if they were going to get anywhere. And two… Yukine liked being relied on. Being trusted as a guidepost felt good, and he wanted to do his best with his position of power. Nora was out of the picture and Yato had opened up a little about his past and seemed to trust him and Hiyori more and… Well, maybe Yukine just liked the feeling of Yato putting his faith in him and looking to him for guidance on this new path he'd set forth.
But that didn't mean he wanted to hear about it constantly. He'd already said his piece and didn't know what else Yato expected right now. The constant brainstorming was the worst. Yato always had the most stupid ideas.
"I'm just saying–"
"We are not manufacturing lucky cat charms with your face on them," Yukine interrupted. "For one, that would look really creepy. Second, you always pick the ones with the paws in the wrong position, so it wouldn't bring good luck anyway. And also, that's such a dumb idea. How about you actually come up with something useful to do rather than dreaming up tacky merchandise we'll never make?"
"Hey," Yato whined. "That's not very nice! We have to get my name out there somehow. I'll come up with a better idea."
Then he started waxing poetic about turning over a new leaf and trusting Yukine to guide him on the right path again. Yukine tried to tune him out as they strolled down the street.
They were on their way to the school to meet Hiyori after class let out, but they still had half an hour left so they were in no rush. Unfortunate, since it would have afforded Yato less time to blather on if they'd been running late.
"This is the turning point of my life!" Yato announced grandly. He threw out his arms in an expansive gesture that was totally lost on the throngs of oblivious humans rushing past them down the street. "I am an entirely new person! Just you wait and see, Yukine. You might not believe me now, but I'm going to make a fabulous god of fortune. So quit sulking and give me some good advice!"
Yukine sighed in a long-suffering fashion and fixed his eyes on the ground in the hope that Yato would get the hint and shut up. Unfortunately, no amount of obvious disinterest on his part could deter Yato once he got started, and he was really hamming it up today.
"–and then I'll have a million believers! And lots of shrines!"
And they were back on that again. Come to think of it, Yato hadn't harped on about shrines and believers in a while, maybe not since Yukine had become his hafuri and Hiyori had made him a shrine of his own, but Yukine should have known it was too good to last.
"You already have a shrine," Yukine grunted.
"Well, yes, but…"
"But you want a bunch of big showy ones."
"Well…" Yato hesitated, going quiet for a blissful half-second. "Maybe. I haven't decided yet."
And then he launched into another spiel on the merits of bringing happiness to all and what exactly happiness meant, because he couldn't quite resist the temptation of resurrecting that dead horse from the grave and beating it to death again.
Yukine rolled his eyes but snuck sidelong glances at Yato. He wasn't worried, exactly, just… He had seen a different side of Yato that night he had released Nora, and then on the bridge when he'd finally talked about his dad. He had wanted Yato to trust him and be honest, he had wanted to know more about his deceptively enigmatic god, he had wanted an explanation for Nora's release and Yato's disappearance into the underworld, but he hadn't expected what he got and still didn't know what to make of it.
It wasn't even really the killing that left him so off-kilter, although he found it horrifying and hadn't realized the extent of it. He had seen slivers of that old, cold-blooded god peek out from Yato's sunny exterior on occasion. He had heard whispers from Kofuku about Yato's bloody past. He might not have envisioned Yato as a murderer, exactly, but he'd seen the signs that he could be capable of it, under the right circumstances. It was still a little hard to believe at times, when Yato was being particularly goofy or cheerful or stupid, but Yukine couldn't say he was totally surprised.
No, it was the rest of it that gave him pause. He found that he couldn't imagine Yato with a dad, however unconventional. He couldn't imagine Yato as a child, for all he acted like one. But mostly, he couldn't imagine Yato being forced to kill regardless of his wishes and obeying because he'd been conditioned to it.
If Yukine was worried about anything, it was about the things Yato hadn't said. He knew Yato well enough to know that he wouldn't have told them everything. Yato would have hidden the worst parts, and what he had told them was already terrible enough. There had been a moment, when Yato had said, almost to himself, "Are you sick of me yet?", when Yukine had heard it. Yukine had heard the lilt of that same disgust he felt at the thought of Yato murdering hundreds of people. He had heard something in Yato's voice, for just those few minutes when he spoke about his past and for that moment in particular, that made him want to cry. And in the tension clotting the air, he had heard the rattling bones of a skeleton in the closet. The echo of things unsaid.
He couldn't bring himself to entirely believe in the careworn, self-loathing, helplessly defeated shadow of a god he had glimpsed in that moment. Especially not at times like these, when Yato was so bright and silly and happy. It seemed absurd. That wasn't the Yato that Yukine knew. That wasn't how Yukine wanted Yato to feel.
So Yukine would take his role as guidepost seriously and make Yato into the best god of fortune, no matter how stupid he could be or how idiotic his ramblings. He didn't want to see Yato like that again. If Yato was truly so miserable with his past, then they'd just have to help him change his future to something brighter. Yukine would do his best to make that dream a reality.
But he still found himself, from time to time, searching for glimpses of that shadow in Yato's eyes. It was impossible to tell. If he had, it was too well-disguised for him to recognize. Yato seemed just as blithely cheerful as ever, and Yukine would make sure he stayed that way. He would make sure it was true.
He didn't know what Yato wasn't telling them, but he had the uncomfortable feeling that there was a lot more to him than met the eye. A lot that lurked under the surface, and not all of it happy. There was a darkness in Yato's past and a sadness in his soul that Yukine didn't understand but wanted to fix. He would not see Yato consumed by it again.
"And now we have come to—" Yato paused, undoubtedly for dramatic effect, and threw his arms wide in another expansive gesture—"a fork in the road! What shall we do with it?"
Yukine closed his eyes. He didn't know if he could stomach another monologue about choosing a new path and yada yada.
"Yato, shut up for a second," he said. Yato had stopped right in the middle of the road, and Yukine stopped beside him and turned to face him squarely. "I'm only going to say this once, so listen up. You've made mistakes. You've been kind of a screw-up sometimes and made bad decisions and killed people. But honestly, everyone has. I mean, not the killing people part, but the rest of it.
"You've come really far, though, right? You already help a lot of people, and not just by cleaning their bathrooms. You saved me too, and even Hiyori a bunch of times. And you already make us happy, ya'know? Isn't that a start? You have a good heart already—we'll just build on that. If anyone can change themselves into whoever they want to be, it's you. You're definitely stubborn enough, and we'll help you. I'll guide you for as long as you ask me to, okay? You will be the best god of fortune. Now, can you shut up about it already?"
Yato stared at him, mouth half open. Yukine had never seen that look on his face before either, something soft and surprised and maybe a little teary. It was a little like the look he'd had when Hiyori gave him his shrine, but it wasn't an expression he wore often. He closed his mouth and it twisted into a funny expression.
Yukine sighed. He was sure this outburst would come back to bite him.
"Ah…" Yato's voice came out a little thick and wavery. He cleared his throat, and his voice was steady once more. "Actually, I meant it literally."
"Literally? What?"
"There's a fork in the road."
Yukine eyed the road ahead of them doubtfully. It plowed on straight ahead. There were cross streets, of course, but not close enough to be of interest yet. And nothing that would really qualify as a fork.
"No, there isn't," he said.
"There is!" Yato grinned in triumph and pointed at the ground ahead of them. "Look!"
Yukine looked. It took a moment to spot what had so excited Yato, but then he noticed the dirt-smudged plastic fork lying discarded on the pavement.
"Isn't it marvelous?" Yato asked. "What shall we do with it?"
Yukine closed his eyes. He took deep breaths. He counted to ten.
It didn't work.
"I'll show you what we can do with it," he growled, swooping forward to snatch up the discarded cutlery.
"Not again!" Yato wailed. "Ow! Owww! Stop it! Yukine! My eye!"
Yukine poked him with the tines a few more times for good measure, while Yato squeezed one eye shut and held his hands out in front of him like a blind man. Then he tossed the fork back to the ground, grabbed Yato by the wrist, and dragged him straight past the fork in the road.
Note: I have no idea, Yato is just a goofball lol Yukine has his hands full.
