Chapter Four: Companionship


They kept going south. Raven reasoned that the soldiers in the east would search the west next. With their campsite as evidence of their presence, it will serve as a false lead and they will likely keep searching in that direction. Reese agreed with his logic, but couldn't help but feel that he had a specific destination in mind.

The days wore on as they traveled, constantly on the move as he ensured they would no longer be followed. On the way, they saw entire towns completely decimated by the multiple blasts the Death Saurer sent all over Planet Zi. And in towns that weren't destroyed, they saw refugees from other nearby villages, people who survived the blast, who lost everything, everyone. They didn't stop in those towns. They couldn't. Not without feeling the guilt, the burden, the reminder of the pain they themselves have caused, their past sins. They could only keep moving.

On the third night, when they were eating by the cooking fire, Reese finally asked Raven. "Where are we heading?" She said, looking at Raven as he finished his soup.

He took his time before saying anything, and she waited patiently. "Home.", he replied, not looking away from the blue stove fire, the only source of light.

"There's no place like home..." he trailed off, leaning back to look at the stars.

He didn't get to lean back very far, as he couldn't hide the wince when he experienced a sharp, shooting pain from his left side. He recoils forward to try to get back to a more upright position as he clutches his side. It only made the pain worse. Reese was immediately beside him, one hand on his back supporting him forward, and another on his shoulder, a deeply worried look on her face.

She doesn't say anything as he tries to calm his breathing, the very action causing him more pain with every drawn breath. When his breathing was under control, she was quietly observing him, watching him breathe more and more evenly, and his hand slowly let go of his side. Shadow and Specula, who were mildly alarmed at the slight commotion, settled back down on their spots, a bit away from the fire.

"How are your headaches?" she asked as she retracted her hand from his back, still unsure about how he felt about her touching him.

"I'm fine," he replied tersely. She's quiet for a moment, but she gets the hint, and retreats back to her spot across the fire.

She remains silent, she understands. The danger in showing weakness, in showing trust, it only leads to more pain, to betrayal. She's used to getting pushed away, and she's used to pushing others away. The only person who truly welcomed her was Nichalo... "And look where that got him...where I got him." She thinks sadly. The pain from his death as fresh as the night she lost him. The pain she was terrified would happen again a few days ago, as she watched Raven battle for his life against Prozen and Hiltz.

Raven looks at her from across the fire, slightly amazed that she had left him alone peacefully, and surprised at himself why he felt somewhat disappointed. It was what he wanted, to keep their distance. He is becoming more and more aware of her these past couple of days. She's…different from what he thought her to be. More pensive, more withdrawn than before, when she would always engage him in conversation, whether he wanted it or not, and when she had no problem invading his personal space. He has also noticed the absence of her mental probing he usually felt when she was close by. She hasn't tried to read his mind for a while now, or else she wouldn't have had to ask how his headaches were. There was also a somber air about her, which became evident whenever he would see a deep sadness pass over her eyes. The very same look she has right this very moment, as she stares into the fire. What was she thinking about? Who had she lost? She couldn't possibly care about that lunatic Hiltz, could she? No. He had betrayed her, tried to kill her even. She was just as happy as the rest of them to be rid of him. So what was it then?

He turns his gaze back to the fire, wishing he could read her mind. He internally sighed and closed his eyes. He is ready to give up trying to deny the fact that he somehow grew to care about her. If he was being honest, he had suspected for a while now. He had stopped seeing her as an enemy ever since he woke up from his memories. He doesn't know how it happened, but he knew she wasn't evil, that she never wanted to hurt him, that deep down she had wanted to help him. He had been trying to figure out why since then, been struggling to understand why she even bothered with him.

Even in these past few days she had been an immense help to him, taking care of most of the work setting and cleaning up the camp, keeping both of them fed and hydrated, changing his bandages…he feels guilty now for being rude to her. But he can't help it. He's not used to spending this much time with someone. Even though he knew he could trust her, a stubborn part of him is still not willing to accept her, to let her in. And she understands that about him, she respects him. This only softens him even more, and he doesn't know how to stop it…he doesn't even know if he wants to.

He glances at her again, noting the quiet sorrow still present in her eyes, the light of the fire dancing within them as she continued to stare into it. Then she suddenly closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, the sadness is gone. Seeming to have snapped herself out of her thoughts, she gets up and starts setting up their sleeping mats, opposite each other across the fire.

He sat still, not saying a word, quietly observing her as he had often done when she was working. He knew that she would shoot him a reproving look if he tried to get up and help her. So he stayed put, opting instead to try to figure out what it was about her that drew him.

She was always methodical, he noticed; organized and efficient. There was a quiet intelligence about her, which should come as no surprise given her history of cunning and deception during her missions. It was no wonder she was always assigned in espionage; she was excellent at it. She also had a strong focus, as he had experienced firsthand the extent of her psychic abilities. It still irks him, the fact that she could knock him out with just her mind. At least her piloting skills could use some work…well, a lot of work. Although, he admits that she can certainly hold her own against the mediocre pilots milling about the planet, but her strength is definitely more the cloak-and-dagger type. She is definitely strong, in her own way, and she is a survivor. She doesn't need his protection, and she certainly doesn't need to help him now, so why? Why does she stick around? Did she feel indebted to him when he saved her?

He frowns, not knowing why he doesn't like the thought of her thinking she somehow owed him for saving her life. What was he supposed to do? Leave her to die? After she showed up just in time to stop Hiltz from finishing him? He was selfish, sure, but he wasn't that dishonorable.

He is pulled from his thoughts as she goes to lie down on her sleeping mat, her back towards him. He looks at her for a moment longer before deciding to turn in as well. He turns off the fire, which really only served as a light source, as the temperature no longer became chilly during the night the further they headed south.

He scoots over to his sleeping mat, and carefully lay down on his back, not wanting to repeat the earlier painful episode. He stares at the stars. They always calmed him, gave him clarity, and he realized that he didn't like how he dismissed her earlier. He looks over at her again, knowing she was still awake by the slight tension in her shoulders.

"My headaches are gone…I haven't had one since yesterday morning." He said, his voice quiet, as he turns his eyes back towards the stars. He heard her shift, and he can see from his peripheral that she was looking at him. He keeps his gaze up at the stars, refusing the urge to look back at her, and he doesn't know why he is holding his breath.

"Good..." She finally replied, just as quietly. "I'm glad."

He can hear the smile in her voice, and he slowly starts to breathe again. He can't describe the warm feeling in his chest, and he doesn't understand it. That was as close to an apology as he could get, and he couldn't help the small smile to himself.

She had turned her back to him again, but the tension in her shoulders was gone. She was more relaxed and somewhat contented, and eventually her breathing started to get deeper and more even as she fell asleep.

He lay awake for a while longer, looking at the stars. Eventually his own eyes start to get heavy, and he too drifted off to sleep, thinking about how he understands her just a little bit more now. He understands why she sticks around, and it's for the same reason why he wants her to stay.