"Your baby is the size of a sweet potato!"
Kim sent the 18 week update from her pregnancy app to Adam's phone. Every Friday morning, when she turned over a new week in her pregnancy, she would show Adam the weekly update. It was almost midnight now so he probably wouldn't see the text until he woke up, but she forgot to send it earlier. To her surprise, Adam immediately texted back a smiley face.
She put her phone on the nightstand beside her, and closed her eyes. Over the past few weeks she had been dealing with some insomnia. Some nights she slept eight hours with no problems, other nights she was lucky to get maybe thirty minutes of rest.
Just as she started to drift off to sleep, a small movement startled her awake. Her eyes popped open, but she kept her body still. Was that what she thought it was? She gasped quietly when she felt it again, then two more times after that.
"Adam?" She yelled. No answer. "Adam!"
"What's wrong?" Adam shoved her bedroom door open, and turned the light on, his eyes were filled with fear. "Are you okay?"
"I just felt the baby move." Kim's eyes welled up with tears as she dropped her hand to her stomach.
Adam let out a deep breath of relief. "So you're okay?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay." Kim cleared her throat. "Sorry I scared you."
"It's alright." Adam sat next to her on the bed. "You really felt the baby?" He rested a hand on her stomach. She didn't have a visible bump yet. Sometimes at the end of the day, especially after a big dinner, she could kind of see something, but it really just looked like bloat.
"It was tiny, like barely there. But I felt it." Kim couldn't hold back her tears anymore.
"Why are you crying?" Adam rested his hand on the side of her face and rubbed his thumb against her cheek. Kim felt herself melt under his touch. She diverted her eyes down and tried to tell herself she was just emotional right now. She wasn't thinking logically.
"Hormones I guess." Kim laughed weakly. "Feeling the baby move just made this pregnancy even more real."
She looked up, and met Adam's eyes. Shoot. She recognized that look on his face very well. His head ever so slightly turned to the side, his eyes studying her face intently.
He leaned in and started to kiss her. As much as she wanted to continue the kiss and maybe take it further, she pulled away.
"I can't-I-we shouldn't." She stuttered.
"Why?" Adam didn't sound frustrated, even though she expected him to be. He just sounded unsure.
"I told you we're either going to raise this baby as friends, or as a couple. We aren't in the right head space to make that decision now."
"What is the right head space, Kim? Because what I want will never change."
"How do you know that?" Kim sighed and swung her legs over the side of the bed, facing the window. She didn't know the answer to his question. Was there ever really a perfect time to make a big decision like getting back together?
Adam didn't even hesitate to answer. "Because I love you. I've always loved you."
"I'm just scared to get hurt again." Kim's voice was quiet.
"The last thing I want to do is hurt you." Kim saw Adam's hand reach over to grab hers out of the corner of her eye, but he pulled it back at the last second.
"I'll be in my room if you need anything." Adam's voice had a hint of defeat in it, but he tried to mask it.
Kim tucked herself back under the covers, and instantly regretted looking at Adam. She hated seeing him upset. "Goodnight."
Adam gave her a sad smile and shut her bedroom door.
Kim had a dentist appointment the next morning. Since she was late for work anyways, she decided to stop for breakfast on the way. She pulled into one of her favorite local bakeries and waited in line for a muffin... or two. She was encouraged to eat a little extra now that she was pregnant. Okay fine, she would get three, but one for Adam. She felt bad that they didn't get to talk this morning after what happened between them last night. She hoped this small gesture would start them off on the right foot today.
"Hi, good morning." Kim greeted Irene, who was the owner, standing behind the counter. "I'll take one blueberry muffin, one chocolate-"
"Hands up!" The bakery door flew open, slamming into the wall, quieting everyone in the restaurant. "Hands up! Slowly back up and get out! Everyone out!"
Two boys who barely looked seventeen were pointing their guns at Irene, then at the customers, then back at Irene.
Kim complied, putting her hands up in the air, slowly backing away towards the exit. Before she could even think about the fact that she was pregnant and she needed to get out to protect the baby, her cop instincts kicked in. She helped usher everyone through the door. The women and children first, then the men. The two boys were so focused on getting the cash from the register behind the counter that they had stopped paying attention to the customers. Kim looked at Irene, the sweetest old lady she'd ever met, crying and trembling at gun point. This was her chance to run or her chance to do what she knew she needed to do.
Kim slowly reached for the gun in the back of her waistband and raised it.
"Chicago PD. Drop your weapons now."
The boys jumped, turning their attention to Kim, guns pointed at her. Two against one was never promising.
"You should have left when you had the chance." The boy who Kim assumed to be in charge took another step towards her, his eyes narrow and soulless.
She didn't want to do what she was about to, but she didn't have a choice.
"Don't take another step! Drop-"
Kim's weapon let out a single bullet as the boy started to charge towards her. He fell to the ground with a thud. Kim turned her gun to the other boy, but he was already on his knees, his hands held high, gun dropped by his side.
"You killed him!" His lower lip quivered. "You killed my brother!"
Adam checked the time on his computer and groaned. Kim's dentist appointment should have been well over by now and he hadn't heard from her yet. She was supposed to come to work right after.
"5021 Eddie," Kim's voice came over the radio. "We have an attempted robbery at 1383 Archer Avenue, one suspect down, one in custody."
Adam jumped up from his desk, grabbing his things and preparing to run full speed to his car.
"Ride with me." Jay offered, already a few steps ahead of him.
Adam nervously tapped his leg the whole way there. He couldn't help but feel the familiar waves of panic that he felt during the drive to the motel almost 6 weeks ago. He heard Kim's voice over the radio a few minutes ago so he knew she was okay, but he couldn't talk himself down from the anxiety he felt.
"Go faster." Adam ordered for the third time since they got in the car.
"Relax." Jay told him also for the third time since they got in the car.
Finally, Adam caught sight of the bakery. Before the car slowed to a stop, Adam threw the door open and bolted out, despite Jay's protests. He flashed his badge at one of the uniformed officers outside who started to yell at him for entering a crime scene. Kim was making her way to the entrance just as Adam pushed the doors open.
"Kim!" He stopped himself short of knocking her over, and wrapped her in a hug. "You're okay?"
"I'm fine." Kim whispered, hugging his torso tightly.
He could tell she was shaken up, despite saying she was okay.
"Here, come sit down." Adam pulled a chair out for her and knelt on the ground in front of her. "You're shaking." He grabbed her hands and gave them a gentle squeeze. Kim was usually the one who was more easily shaken up after a case, but he hadn't seen her this bad in a long time.
"I just- the baby. It all happened so fast. I didn't want to hurt the baby." Kim said softly, her eyes cast down.
"It's okay." Adam reassured her. "I'll get the paramedics to check you out."
Kim and Adam sat in the back of the ambulance while Sylvie checked Kim over, and double-checked the baby's heart beat.
"Heart beat is perfect. For both of you." Sylvie smiled at Kim. "Do you want to go to med just for peace of mind?"
"No, I'm okay. Thank you." Kim answered.
Adam stood by Kim's side while she gave her statement to Voight.
"They ordered all of the customers to leave the bakery, so I helped get everyone out. Then I announced myself, told them to drop their weapon-"
Adam bit his lip, forcing himself to stay quiet until Kim was finished. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
Voight gave her shoulder a squeeze after she finished her statement. "Thanks, Burgess. Great work today. Take the rest of the day off, okay? That's an order. Adam, take her home."
"Okay, Sarge." Kim nodded. "Thank you."
Adam barely waited for Voight to be out of earshot before he started talking.
"Did I just hear you right? You chose to stay in there, outnumbered by two people with guns?"
"What?" Kim wrinkled her eyebrows, clearly confused by his sudden change in tone.
"You had a chance to leave. Why didn't you?"
"I chose to do my duty as a police officer and save the woman behind the counter and stop a robbery, possible murder."
"Kim, you're pregnant!"
"I-"
"Hey!" Jay walked up to them and got in between them, breaking up the fight. Their voices had quickly risen, but they hadn't noticed. "Take this somewhere else."
"We're fine." Adam snapped.
"People are starting to stare." Jay nodded his head towards onlookers. "Take Kim home."
Adam opened the passenger door for Kim, despite still being obviously angry, but Kim slammed it shut before he could also do that for her.
"I don't get why you would stay in there." Adam climbed into the driver's seat.
"I was doing what I'm supposed to do." Kim didn't feel like arguing anymore, the sharpness gone from her voice.
"Did you not think about keeping yourself safe? Keeping the baby safe?"
Without time to stop herself, she started crying. Stupid pregnancy hormones. Everything made her cry these days. She wanted to leave while she had the chance, but it was her job to stop things like that. She wouldn't be able to live with herself knowing she ran out to leave an old woman to fend for herself.
"Kim," Adam softened just voice. "Don't cry." He reached for her hand, but she pulled it away.
"I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry."
Kim stared out the window. She had nothing else to say to him.
When Adam pulled up to their apartment, she got out of the car as quickly as she could.
"Let me walk you inside." Adam offered, stepping out of the car.
"No." Kim didn't mean for her voice to sound that harsh, but she just wanted to be alone.
Adam sighed, giving up. "Okay. I'll see you later tonight."
Around 8 o'clock that night, Kim heard Adam's key in the door. She ran into her room, still not in the mood to talk.
"Kim?" He called out. "I'm home. I brought dinner."
When she heard Adam go into his bedroom, she grabbed the food he brought for her, and went back into her room to hideout for the night.
Adam came out of his bedroom after he changed into more comfortable clothes. He noticed half of the food he brought home was missing, and he couldn't help but laugh. He pictured Kim sneaking out of her room to grab the food, and running back in as fast as she could.
Adam woke up early the next morning to get coffee and donuts. He waited by the kitchen counter with the peace offering until Kim came out of her room, ready to go to work.
"Hi." Kim's eyes looked slightly red. Either she had been crying, she hadn't slept last night, or both.
"I'm sorry." Adam wasted no time pulling her into a gentle hug, instantly feeling better once she was in his arms.
"Me too." Kim hugged him back, tightening her grip when Adam started to let go.
"You don't need to be sorry, you saved that woman's life."
"But the baby-" Kim sniffled.
Adam pulled back so he could get eye level with her. "Our baby is fine. You did the right thing."
"Our baby is fine." Kim played his words over and over in her head. Our baby. That was the first time either of them had referred to the baby like that. As theirs.
Kim looked over at Adam as he drove them to work. When he stopped at a red light, he turned to look at her and smiled.
Uh oh. That smile was her weakness. The smile that made her fall for him right when she met him. The smile that made her feel better when she was upset. The smile that gave her that familiar feeling in her stomach, and it wasn't the baby moving. She couldn't deny it anymore. She was in love with Adam. That smile just had to make her realize it.
Kim had eaten lunch an hour ago, but she was already getting hungry again. The further along she got in her pregnancy, the more often she needed to eat. She made her way down to the lockers to grab a protein bar from her bag. She heard voices coming from the inside, so she quietly opened the doors, not wanting to interrupt anyone.
She saw Hailey leaning against a locker talking to someone. One step further, and she saw Jay hovering over her, one arm resting against the lockers. Kim's mouth fell open when she saw Jay lean in, grab the side of Hailey's face, and kiss her.
Thirty minutes later, after Jay and Hailey were back in the office (they had walked back in five minutes apart, of course,) Kim successfully retrieved her protein bar.
When Hailey got up to make herself a cup of coffee, Kim followed her, shutting the door behind them.
Hailey looked up from the coffee pot, confused by the closed door. "Hey?"
"How's your day going?" Kim asked, trying to hide her smile.
"Uh, good." Hailey replied, looking around skeptically.
"Oh, I bet. Considering who just kissed you."
Hailey's eyes got big, and she almost dropped the pot of coffee. "What? How-what?"
"I wasn't spying, I promise. I went to get my protein bar and when I opened the door I saw you and Jay kissing."
Hailey sighed and threw her head back. "No secrets around here."
"I'm not going to say anything." Kim promised. "You two finally decided to get together?"
Hailey laughed. "Kind of."
Kim sat down at the table, waiting for Hailey to tell her the story.
"Fine." Hailey agreed, joining her across the table. "The night you went to the hospital, Jay came back to my place. I didn't want to be alone so we had a drink, started talking and..."
"And?" Kim pressed.
"We ended up in bed. For the rest of the night."
"Wow." Kim smiled at her. "Nice."
"We haven't spent one night apart since then." Hailey admitted. "But we haven't had like, the talk. Okay, but enough about me. What about you? When are you and Adam finally going to get back together?"
Kim now understood why Hailey was apprehensive to have this discussion. Talking about someone else's relationship was much more fun.
"Pass." Kim groaned.
"Come on, you got to grill me about Jay. Your turn." Hailey wasn't backing down, which was only fair.
"It's...complicated." Kim hoped that explained enough for now.
Hailey didn't even seem to have to put any thought into what she said next.
"I see the way you two look at each other. There's nothing complicated about that."
Kim wished it wasn't complicated. But with a baby in the mix, it was...right? Or was she just using that as an excuse?
"So how's Hailey?" Adam slid into the passenger seat next to Jay, on their way to visit a witness.
"What?" Jay kept his cool, not even flinching at his question.
"Or should I say, how's Hailey, babe?" Adam teased him. "Sorry, you left your phone out in the open."
"Anything I say does not leave this car." Jay looked him in the eye, his tone serious.
"You have my word." Adam promised.
Jay proceeded to tell him how he and Hailey hadn't spent one night apart since the day Kim went to the hospital. Adam wasn't surprised at all. The two of them had been throwing heart eyes at each other for a while now.
"Finally, huh?" Adam chuckled. "I'm happy for you, man."
"Me too." Jay smiled. "What about you and Kim?"
"For her it's complicated. For me, not so much." Adam replied.
"What do you mean?" Jay asked.
"I want to be with her. I mean, I love her. But she's not so sure. She said we need to be together, like super committed, or strictly friends so the baby doesn't grow up with back and forth parents."
"That's fair." Jay nodded understandingly.
"I just want us to have a good relationship for the sake of our baby, whether it's a friendship or more than that."
"But?" Jay pressed, knowing he wanted to say more.
"But we should be together. I think she thinks the same thing. And I think we'll be better parents that way." Adam admitted.
"You think, or you know?" Jay put the car in park and turned to face Adam.
"Know. I know." Adam knew without a doubt in his mind. He just wasn't sure how to make Kim realize the same thing.
"Go for it." Jay encouraged him. "Make it happen."
"I appreciate the enthusiasm," Adam laughed. "I'm just not sure if it will be that easy."
Nothing seemed to be easy with Kim lately. Lately or over the past few years.
Kim rolled over and checked the time on her phone...again. Four forty-five am. She hadn't slept for one second the whole night, and there was no use now. She made her way into the kitchen, hunger pains already hitting her. She opened up the fridge and a package of bacon caught her eye. Bacon, eggs, and pancakes would be perfect right now.
She got to work, trying not to wake Adam up since his alarm wouldn't go off for another hour or so.
She poured pancake batter onto the hot skillet as she thought back to her conversation with Hailey. Why did things have to be complicated? Of course she wanted to be with Adam, she was just scared. She didn't want things to end the way they did last time, years ago. But maybe years ago hadn't been the right time for them to be together. She nodded to herself. Maybe now was better-
"Good morning."
Kim jumped, dropping a spatula on the floor.
"Sorry," Adam laughed. "I didn't mean to scare you."
"I didn't mean to wake you up. I guess I forgot to be quiet."
"What were you thinking about?" Adam walked next to her and leaned against the counter.
"Just work stuff." She cringed internally as the words came out. She was a bad liar.
He raised an eyebrow at her. "Yeah?"
"No really, I was thinking about the case yesterday-" Kim stopped, and sighed, giving up before she got ahead of herself. "Yeah, I lied."
"Yeah." Adam chuckled. "How's our baby?"
Our baby. Kim got that feeling in her stomach again. Like butterflies, or something. Maybe bats.
"Hungry." She smiled at him, feeling the magnetic pull between the two of them growing stronger by the second. Adam must have felt the same, because his eyes locked on hers.
Kim didn't know what to do. The smart thing would be to back up, and finish cooking. But she didn't have the strength to do that. She tried to think logically, as difficult as it was. Worst case scenario, they don't work out as a couple. They had plenty of time to figure that out before the baby was born.
"Kim." Adam stepped towards her, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her into him. He leaned down and kissed her softly. Kim grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and brought him down for another kiss, this time harder and more passionate. Before she could get carried away, she pulled herself back.
Adam didn't go far though, keeping his hands on her waist.
"I'm tired of things being complicated." Kim told him, giving into her feelings.
"Me too." Adam agreed.
"Just promise me we'll take things slow. We need to really make this work. For the baby."
"For our baby. Promise." Adam smiled, hooking a finger under her chin and tilting it up towards him.
Kim's knees went weak, his eyes and his touch driving her crazy. All of a sudden she had no idea why she had been holding back her feelings for so long. Now she didn't know how she would be able to go one day without him. Now, she wasn't afraid to admit it.
"Adam, I love you."
